ONE THING TO REMEMBER ABOUT THE PAST

The past…it can be many things. When used intelligently, the past can be a teacher, a healer and a great place to escape. If we are not careful, the past can also be a depressant, an anchor and a jailer. It is the latter of the two options we are going to discuss today. We are going to look at how our past, and our story about it, can often stop us from achieving the greatness and joy we so rightly deserve.

Have you ever heard others, or maybe even caught yourself saying things like this? “Every time things start going right in my life they end up going wrong.” or “I can never get ahead something always goes wrong for me.” While this may have been true to some extent in your past, my guess is that there was plenty of times when everything did go right…at least for a while.

We have all heard sayings such as life is a marathon not a sprint or do you see the glass half-full or half-empty? I actually did a great video about these on my YouTube channel Neil Panosian, you will find the link at the end of this post. The truth is life is both a marathon and a sprint. The glass is both half-full and half-empty. The only difference is which one we focus on. By focusing on the good it does not make the bad any less true, just as when we are focused on the bad it does not make the good any less real. The only difference it makes is how it makes us feel. I made that statement a different color for a reason, I would like you to read that again and really think about it. When we consider the truth of that statement we realize the power we have in our lives.

It is important to consider the sprint verses marathon view as well. If we focus on life in the short term we fall victim to the ups and downs of life. If we feel our life is generally one of misfortune and bad things we will see that. They exist in every life I know of. If we feel our life will always turn out, that will be true. We just need to focus on the marathon. Eventually good things happen. Yes, eventually bad things happen as well, but again how we feel is based on which one we focus on.

Just because things have always gone a certain way does not mean they cannot change. When we focus on the negative we tend to notice that. When we focus on the negative that we experienced in the past we tend to avoid taking actions that can lead us to different opportunities in the future. Let the past be a teacher, not a jailer.

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WHAT DAY IS IT?


Last post we talked about my affection for the stories of Winne-the-Pooh. Today we are going to look at the above quote from this famous literary work of art.

“What day is it?” asked Pooh

“It’s today.” squeaked Piglet

“My favorite day.” said Pooh.
In this quote we are given the gift of great wisdom hidden in what seems to be a silly thought. Today is the best day. In fact, today is the only day. Yesterday has already happened and we cannot change it. If we continue to live in the pain and hurt of yesterday we are doing so at the cost of today. If there is a wrong or hurt that happened yesterday we cannot undo it. The only way to attempt to remedy yesterday is to take action today to undo the wrongs of yesterday.
The same holds true for tomorrow. It has not come yet and will never come. Tomorrow is always in the future. Perhaps you have concerns about future tomorrows? The only thing you can do is act today to help those events in the future. Things such as purchasing life insurance, starting a health regimen, begin a savings account or many other actions that will improve your future. It is the actions we take today that will determine our tomorrows.
Fully enjoying the day we are currently in is the only way in which we can live a truly positive and rewarding life. If we live in the regret of the past we are giving away our peace of today. If we delay our happiness for a future event we are doing the same thing. That is not to say you shouldn’t have things to look forward too, but enjoy the process while you are waiting for them to arrive. Make today your favorite day. Let us all take this great lesson from that friendly bear and his woodland friends.

SHINE ON!

 

 

In my upcoming book Living the Dream there is a special section I have included towards the back of the book. This section is called ‘In the company of angels’ and for good reason. It includes stories of people that I know who have faced life challenges that would make most of us bitter at best, or throw in the towel and quit on life at worse. These wonderful people have not only avoided both, but have went on to be positive forces in their own right.

The stories range from having one of their parents killed in a mining accident and having to move clear across the country to being abused on several levels as both children and adults. Writing these stories was a bit of a struggle for me as I am used to writing material that uplifts and inspires. As I wrote and recalled all the situations my friends had relayed to me I felt their pain. I cannot imagine facing what some of them have.

Writing my way through them brought several positive things to me, however. First, I was grateful for all of the struggles that I didn’t have to face growing up. We were not rich and I came from a single-parent home, but we always had trips to the library, played games with other children in the neighborhood and always had enough to eat. After reading the stories I share in my book, growing up without a lot of money and only one parent seemed like paradise. I guess you could say it not only supplied me with a great deal of gratitude, but a new perspective as well.

Another thing it did for me was only serve to increase my respect for those brave individuals that shared their stories. The idea for including them in my book was to show real life examples of how people could face the worst situation and still manage to maintain a positive disposition. This was the reason I approached the people I did. What I didn’t expect was the details and amount of struggle they had went through. Learning how someone could overcome everything they did was worth its weight in gold. I am pretty sure most of us would not escape with such a healthy outlook as they had.

Knowing these people personally I can tell you that they genuine love life. That is not to say they do not have a bad day as we all do, but as a general rule they seem to appreciate the beauty of what surrounds them on a daily basis. The bravery they showed in coming forth and sharing their stories so that others may benefit from them was also not lost on me. They did so with no promise of any future reward other than the knowledge in their heart that their stories have helped others who are also struggling.

My suggestion to you is to learn the stories of your friends. Ask about their struggles. If you are blessed enough like I am to have brave friends who do not mind sharing what they have been through, do yourself a favor and listen. Understand how much courage it takes to be able to recall the pain of the past again. Admire their ability to stand strong in the face of a past that may haunt them or weigh them down. Appreciate their ability to shine even after all the storms they have been through. These to me are the true warriors.

Don’t forget to look for the book Living the Dream coming to bookstores next February.

 

 

LET US TALK ABOUT YOUR STORY

We ended last week by discussing stories. The stories we tell ourselves to prevent us from trying new ideas and concepts. I shared some of the stories from my life and how they have affected me. We even looked at stories that others tell us about ourselves. We looked at how we view stories, events and people from our past and how that can have an effect on our future. All of these examples can show how important stories are to our development and overall well-being.

Today we are going to look at your story. In the last few years I have learned so much from listening to the stories of others. Whether it is the stories from my friends Cari and Kelly who show me that even people coming from some of the most challenging circumstances can grow into some of the most loving people with wonderful souls. Listening to the stories about my lovely Margie helped me to better understand the woman I love and the people in her life that helped form her into the divine lady that she is today.

I know I could learn a lot from your story as well. That may sound like a bold claim considering the people who read this span the entire globe. You may be asking what can I learn from the individual from Tunisia who read this on Sunday? I can’t say exactly, but I can tell you for sure something. The examples may not be something I can relate to, for example I have friends who were abused, in foster care, divorced, lost children and a host of other challenges I have not faced. In them I can learn the principles of hope, faith, determination and love. I am eternally grateful to each and every person who shares their story with me.

You may think that your life does not offer any inspiration, but I am here to tell you nothing could be further from the truth. I have heard stories from a friend in Romania about listening to certain music on the way to work. I have heard stories from my friend in Australia about the way she discovers indigenous medicine by visiting local markets. My friend from Mexico shares challenges that the local economy and health care cause him to face in his country. These are but a few of the countless stories I hear each and every day. Even those who share stories about their love, good fortune or healing give me a joyous feeling in my heart.

Perhaps you still think your story is nothing special? “I am just a person who wakes up and works to pay the bills.” Let me tell you that your story, and your life may be just what someone else needs to hear. It may be the challenges or amusing stories you have to offer about your chosen line of work. It may be amusing stories and episodes you have had raising your children. Maybe it is even the way you have approached a health challenge you have. After more then 20 years in the self-improvement field, I can tell you without a doubt, one of the most common feelings people deal with is feeling alone. Knowing that there is somebody else in the world who is facing the same challenge or has even made it through that challenge, can give their heart a little peace.

Please share your story. It may not seem like much to you and you may not understand how it will help anyone else, but it will. Whether you wish to start a blog like this one, write your own book or start a YouTube channel, please get your story out there. Someone is needing to hear just what you have to say. They may be in Armenia, Brazil or Zaire but they are out there. If you need any advice or suggestions on how to get started you can ask yours truly or make good use of Google which has many helpful tutorials.

NEVER LOSE AT LIFE AGAIN!

Earlier in the week we looked at how to make life one long party. Today we are going to discover how you can never suffer another loss in life. Is this really possible? The short quick answer is yes. In fact, not only is it possible to not lose going forward, you can even look back and turn some of the things you feel were loses into wins.

How good would it feel knowing whatever you were about to attempt you would do so without the fear of losing or failing? How much more might you attempt? Not only is this possible, but it can be relatively easy after a little practice. Your brain will actually begin to wire itself to work in a way that will keep you from feeling defeated or lost.

Every great person I have studied (and probably the ones you have studied as well) have gone through challenges that may have stopped most of us. I have written about Walt Disney being turned down by over 300 banks trying to get a loan for Disney land. Seriously, can you imagine yourself walking into a bank after hearing ‘no’ over 300 times? I know I can’t. Thomas Edison and how many different things he tried for a light bulb. How many times do you try something before throwing in the towel? Even something we really are passionate about can seem pointless when we suffer to many defeats.

So, how did these wonderful people do it. Certainly they had to have a large dose of both faith and passion, but they had something else as well. They had a different way of looking at what many of us would view as failure. Edison said it best. Obviously most of us would think, “You tried to make a light bulb this way, it didn’t work so you failed”. Not Edison, this is what he said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”. 10,000? Are you kidding me? What in your life have you tried that many times? I can tell you in my own life the answer would be none.

What attitude do the great leaders have that allows them to persevere even when the odds seem stacked against them? They understand that a situation is only a failure if you do not get anything out of it. Guess who decides if you can get anything out of it? That’s right you do. If we look back on some of our most challenging times we have had we will often see we have learned some of our most valuable lessons. Maybe in Walt Disney’s case when he kept being turned down for the loan he learned new ways to present his case?

What about those times in life that just suck? You know the ones where nothing good seems to be found and you can’t find a lesson in it anywhere? You can use that to better appreciate the good times that don’t suck. An example is as follows, the other day my lady and I went to a new cupcake place and from the moment we walked in were treated terribly. The lady was very rude and not helpful at all. After we had purchased a $4 cupcake we discovered it was dry and the frosting tasted like it came from a can. We stopped at a coffee shop to wash down said cupcake and were greeted with a very helpful, silly and fun staff. The place was roomy and very pleasing. In fact, it is where I am writing this now.

So you see I appreciated the good service I got here a lot more thanks to the poor service I received there. When you are sick, it allows you to stop and appreciate your good health that can be easy to take for granted. Once you start doing this you will find your mind automatically does this for you.

LETTING GO OF THE PAST

This question, which is a very good one, came about in discussion with a friend who was in the middle of reading my book. She asked “What is your suggestion for someone who is trying to live a happy life who can’t let go of the past?” This is a great question that may be holding a lot of us back. Let’s say you make a decision to start living a more positive, rewarding life from this day forward. You try everything you can get your hands on and make a great effort. Still you have issues from your past that are still bothering you. Well that would be like starting a boat, pushing the throttle all the way forward, but leaving the anchor down. You may go far, you may even break free of that anchor, but not without a good deal of damage. More than likely you will stay attached and start going in circles.

So the question remains. How do you resolve an issue from your past that keeps creeping up? I would have to say the first step is to identify the issue you have that is holding you back. Is it guilt over something you may have done? Is it regret over something you may have not done? Once you gain some clarity on what exactly is the past issue that is preventing you from enjoying your future is, the next step is to get leverage on yourself. What exactly does that mean? Well any issue involving change whether it be moving on from the past or overcoming a challenge we are dealing with in the present is to clearly define the pain we are gaining and the pleasure we are losing by not changing. Sticking with the issue of overcoming the past you must look at what things you may have lost in your present and more importantly may lose in the future by not resolving this issue. Ideally you should write them down so they are staring at you in black and white. On another page or in another column you should also write the pleasure this issue has caused you to sacrifice and what pleasures you will have to give up by continuing to drag this anchor around. After composing these two lists is should become abundantly clear that your past is controlling your life and not you. Is this what you are going to continue to allow? No! You do not necessarily have to go back to the actual people involved. In many cases this is not even possible as they may have moved away or even passed on. What you must do is deal with the issue in your head. Perhaps writing an entry in your journal asking forgiveness or giving forgiveness to someone else or even yourself. Perhaps have an imaginary conversation with that individual. The important part is to change what your past means to you. Change whatever is holding you back into something that empowers you. Find the good, find the lesson, find whatever you need to cut the rope on that anchor and sail the seas of your future!