Tag: optimisim

AMOUNT OF GOOD THINGS IN YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS

One of the craziest things that I hear is when people tell me that they always expect the worst so they will never be disappointed. They somehow think this protects them against a level of hurt. It actually does the opposite. How do you think it feels to go through life constantly expecting it to go to hell. Not very good. In addition, it shows how little these well-intentioned folks know about how life works. Even putting aside the law of attraction, let us look at the scientific basis as to why this is not your best is not your best course of action.

The brain has something called the ‘reticular activating system’. In simpler terms, think of it as a filter. It tells your conscious mind what is important to notice. We are exposed to millions of bits of information every second. What sounds are around us, how our clothing feels against our skin, how our neighbor smells or how we smell. Plus a million other things. If we tried to focus on them all, we would go crazy in a short period of time. Therefore, there is this miraclous part of our brain that picks and chooses what is important. The easy example I use for this is when you buy a certain kind of car, or are even thinking of buying a certain kind of car. Suddenly, you see that car everywhere! Did the world suddenly make more of the very car you had purchased or were thinking of purchasing? The answer is both yes and no. No obviously the actual quantity of these cars had not increased. It is just that they became more important to you so then you were more likely to notice each one. Yes, because by noticing each one of these cars, in essence, that increased the amount of them in your reality.

What does seeing more of a car have to do with the secrets to an amazing life? Plenty. The reticular activating system uses the same methods for lots of things in our life. If your brain is filled with dread and expectation for the worst senerio, guess what you are actually increasing the likelihood of experiencing in your reality? Much like our car example, challenges may not even increase in reality, but they will increase in how they appear in your reality. Just like the world didn’t make more cars, but suddenly you are seeing them everywhere. There isn’t more doom and gloom in the world, you are just noticing more.

You also steal the feeling of positive expectation. Many of these people will tell that having a positive expectation will make you feel more hurt if the thing does not happen. Is that true? Perhaps marginally. If you consider the amount of time we spend on the journey verses the destination, you will begin to see the power in changing the way you travel, or go through life. Most of our life is a journey. If yours is a journey of always expecting the worst to happen, it will be a very somber and unhappy journey. If you life a life of positive expectation, you will live a life filled with optimism and excitement. Even if there is the occasion let down when something doesn’t go quite as you hoped. Then again, if you live a life of positive expectation, you would just assume this detour would be setting you up for a bigger win later on.

You are going to have ups and downs in life no matter what. How you feel between them is based on what attitude you carry with you. That is why Einstein said the most important question is whether we live in a friendly universe. Why? Our answer to that question determines how we will experience this life we are given. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right. ”

IS YOUR OPTIMISM FAITH OR FOLLY?🤔

I am an optimist. That should not surprise many of you. Someone who explores the secrets behind an amazing life is bound to be one. What I find interesting is what many people assume that means.

Let us begin by discussing what it does not mean. Many people associate optimism with some sort of Pollyana. As if we are refusing to acknowledge that problems in life exist. That is not optimism, that is denial. Optimism is not chanting happy sounding mantras that we have no emotional attachment to. That is not what true optimism is about. When most people think of an optimistic person, they often associate it with some sort of weakness or Naivete. Again, both not optimism.

What really optimism encompasses, is a belief that things will eventually work out in your favor. That does not mean denying challenges exist, but asking ourselves what they are trying to teach us, and how we can use them to our advantage. It is being honest that things may not be looking the best right now, but we are growing in strength, knowledge and character. This takes some amount of bravery and a great deal of faith. It is a strong person who can keep their eyes on the distant shore, even in the middle of a tempest. Life will provide storms. When you have an optimistic attitude, you do not pretend it is not raining. You summon your emotional fortitude and decide the best way to navigate that storm. You do so with firm belief you will not only make it through the storm, but be better off for it.

Keeping an optimistic attitude will go a great way to determining the actions we will take and the opportunities we will feel confident to take advantage of. It takes no real strength to be a pessimist. Even those who claim they are ‘realists’ are selling themselves short. Yes, life might not always turn out like we wish, or in the time we desire. Without a firm belief that good things will happen, we are a lot less likely to put ourselves out there and to claim all of the good fortune that we deserve.

HOW FULL IS YOUR GLASS?

I’m going to put forth to you, good reader, the age old question – is the glass half full or half empty? As I’m sure most of you can guess my answer is closer to the full side. Your answer to this question is supposed to reflect your overall outlook on life.

Did you ever wonder why they never follow this up with three quarters full or a quarter empty? How about three-eighths verses five-eighths? Would that make you slightly less negative or more positive? I don’t suppose it really matters.

This question is a matter of perspective. It is a reflection of whether you are grateful for what you have or upset about what you don’t have.

My pessimistic friends, or the glass half empty folks, as well as some of my friends that call themselves “realists” will make sure to point out either opinion does not change the reality of the situation. Whether you are happy or sad, the glass still contains half the liquid it could.

If you stop and think of it, that is the beauty of the truth. All of our lives are like that glass, they are not as full as they could be. We have lots to be grateful for, as well as lots to be upset about. There are challenges we get that are just unfair, but if we are perfectly honestly with ourselves, we all have breaks of good fortune that are more than we deserve.

What is the point here? Who is right? The point is this, our lives, much like the glass are both half full and half empty. By virtue of that assessment, both the optimists and the pessimists are right.

Before you think you have just read all of this for nothing let us look at the major difference, one feels good most of the time and one feels bad. Stop and read that again. If both having a cheerful and expectant attitude will mean your life will have its ups and downs, and have a bitter and sour disposition will mean your life will have its ups and downs the only difference is how you feel when you are here.

The only sure thing I know about life, is that you don’t get out alive, so why not enjoy it as much as we can while we are here? One more glaring reason to see the glass half full will be offered next post. Now while I was busy pondering whether the glass was half-full or half -empty, I believe Margie drank my rum.

THE BIG DIFFERENCE

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Several people I know live life with a certain sense of  foreboding. I have even heard them say “I’m just waiting to see what goes wrong next”. My thought is always why?  When I tell them why not look for what is going to go right next,  they mumble something about living in a fantasy world,  or how things always go wrong for them. When I mention it could possibly be because they are looking for them to go wrong I am faced with often disbelief and sometimes anger and indignation.
Truth is whatever we focus on we create.  Now I am not going to go into the science behind the law of attraction,  as there are sites dedicated to just that.  Here is the truth  – in life there will always be ups and downs, positive and negatives – when we are looking to notice what is going wrong that will be highlighted and seem more prevalent.
So what happens,  what changes when we look for, and believe in the good that is going to come?

Two major things happen when you begin to expect and look for good things to happen. First, you start to feel better. You are filled with excitement and joy. People may even begin to comment on how you have changed, or what is different about you. Second, you start to notice the good things. Not only things that are happening, or did happen, but things that may happen, or will happen! You start to notice opportunities that may have slipped passed you before. As an added bonus, the bad things may fade from view. They will still be there because any life has it’s challenges, but they will seem less intimidating and overwhelming.

So there are plenty of reasons to switch to focusing on the good. How does one do this? We will focus on that in depth in future blogs, but for right now begin to write down and note when good things happen in your life. One fun project you can do is start a gratitude journal. write down every day at least 5 things you are grateful for and why a day. Review your list right before you sleep. It will change your life. Feel free to share any ideas you may have for staying on the ‘sunny side of the street’