Tag: not giving up

SECRETS FROM A DUKE ðŸ¤´

It is Friday. We are dealing with everything this past week has thrown at us. Sometimes we can feel like just giving up. I want to call to your attention the quote from Duke Ellington above. Let us consider the man for an example. He was a composer and amazing piano player. He wrote or collaborated on more than one thousands compositions. That is mind-blowing in itself. He did all of this during a period in American history when racism was not only present, but was rampant. Despite this, he wrote and recorded some of the most beautiful music in history.

Facing such social limitations I can only imagine would frustrate Mr. Ellington and, at least on occasion, make him feel like giving up. He did not and because of that, he was able to make a living doing what he loved. He also has schools, bridges and a host of other things named after him. How did he manage not to give up? I am not sure we can know all of his secrets, but one of them was pursuing what he was passionate about. When you are doing what you love, it can get you through some of the toughest times.

As this week draws to a close, spend some time doing what you love with those you love. Strengthen your ‘why’ and write down reasons why you should not give up. We may never face some of the challenges Duke Ellington did. We might face ones that seem even more difficult to overcome. What we can do is take his advice and never give up. By doing so we can leave our own legacy. One that says, “Here is someone who never gave up.”

FAILURE IS NOT FINAL, IT IS FORMATIVE

Last post, I shared with you that fact that I had decided to throw away the months of work and writing I had been doing for my fourth book. It was, in some sense, a failure. It did not meet the expectation that I had for what I wanted to share with the world. Does this make me a failure? I really do not feel like it. The project was. I will still write a fourth book. It will be different than the one I was writing. It will be better.

Think of any great accomplishment we have had in life. Learning to walk. Learning to speak. Getting in shape. Starting a relationship. Finding the love of our lives. Which one of those was a linear process? Which one did we accomplish flawlessly? I am not sure about you, but my total is something slightly less than one. I fell a million times learning to walk. Some days I feel that I am still learning to communicate with those in my life. Getting in shape? That is a life-long journey. My relationship is something that took a lot of work on both of our ends and continues to do so as we navigate the challenge of two different people living one life.

Society’s definition of failure is wholly inaccurate. If it were, no babies would ever learn to walk without a terrible self-image. People would give up on each other before their love had a chance to fully blossom. To, of course, authors would never complete their next book. Failure is not an outcome unless we choose to make it so. It is, more accurately stated, a stepping stone. Next time you feel like a failure, ask yourself if you were failing, or merely learning. Are you going to give up, or begin again more intelligently?

3 WORD LESSON THAT CHANGED MY LIFE.

I am currently about 10,000 words into my fourth book. At about the 6000 word point, I realized this book was going to be something entirely different than I expected. By writing this story, I am learning a lot about myself and my life. Just another great reason for everyone to write their story. You never even have to show it to anyone else. So far, only Margie has heard what I have written. I think her lone comment was, “It is funny.” but we are getting there.

Aside from the comedy that was my young and crazy life, I learned several valuable lessons. This sounds crazy even as I am writing it. You would think that you are more likely to learn a lesson by living it, but many of them only appeared as I began to write about them. Maybe it was the space of time and distance that allowed me to gain a proper perspective. Maybe I was just to young and stupid to appreciate what life, the universe, God an the world were trying to teach me. It is probably a combination of the two.

One of the great lessons that occurred to me this morning was this – every great triumph in my life was proceeded by a tragedy. Every great period of growth and evolution was proceeded by a death of sorts. The ‘me’ that was had to be humbled and often that version of me was put to death. At that point, it felt that life had beaten me. There were job losses, people losses, health losses. After all of them, much like the mythical Phoenix, I rose from the ashes as a more powerful, more evolved version of me. The hard truth is that none of that growth would have been possible without the death.

A person close to me once told me, “Neil, life always seems to knock you down, but then you end up in an even better spot.” Quite true. The more I thought about that as I wrote, the more it seemed to show up. It revealed one of the secrets to not only my success, but success for anyone. It is a 3 word lesson – Triumph. Over. Tragedy. We are never really down until we refuse to get up. When life beats you down, remember this lesson. Look for the opportunity for growth. Use the ashes to build yourself anew. A stronger, more resilient and more evolved version of you. This thought can be summed up in this beautiful quote from Wilma Mankiller.