Tag: new year’s resolutions

A CHANGE THAT CAN CREATE SUCCESS

Last post we took a long hard look at our view of discipline and how it can be sabotaging our success. If you did not have a chance to read that, may I strongly suggest that you go back to take a look. Today we are going to look at a somewhat broader category of how we view life in general. It will not only give you the motivation to get more done, but make life a lot more enjoyable. Especially the struggles we all have to go through on our journey of self-improvement.

When we are looking to purchase something, the first question many of us ask is, “What will this cost?” This makes sense. We need to understand how much of our funds, time or effort will this item cost. Is there a more economical option? If so, we generally will gravitate towards that. This holds true for most material things. Then why do any of us buy a diamond ring? Surely there are cheaper options. When I asked my beautiful lady to marry me, I could have got the ring out of a gumball machine. Despite what I told her, that is not what happened. Before we answer why we often purchase more expensive items, let us look at some other examples.

Think of effort. There are things that take a great deal of effort. Working out to get in shape. That takes a lot of effort. Who would want to do that? There are gyms that are always busy though. Speaking of gyms, after the new year they are usually even busier. By February, they are back to their usual amount of people. Why? This can be answered with the mindset we will be discussing. How about healthy eating? How many people start with the best intention and end up with a face full of tacos? Think of projects we begin with great enthusiasm. Maybe a house renovation or even a relationship? Only to find our house the same or with one less person in it.

How can we work to improve success in all of those endeavors and why do we sometimes purchase more expensive items when there are cheaper ones readily available? The picture above does an amazing job of answering that question. Here is how to both increase your chances of success in life as well as making it less stressful. How does that sound for a great equation? Greater success and less stress getting it? Making it through that hard workout without throwing in the towel, literally and figuratively? Will you still be hyperventilating and sweating like a high schooler on exam day? Sure, but you will be doing so with a smile on your face and a determination to stick with it. This will not only help you say ‘no’ to the free doughnuts in the breakroom and stick to your healthy eating goals, but whatever resolution you make on New Year’s Eve or any other day as well.

This change in mindset will also help free you from spending time on things that are not really important to you. The mindset change simply involves asking yourself one different question. Instead of asking yourself “What will this cost me?” switch to asking yourself “What is this worth to me?” In addition to focusing on the destination, it gives purpose to the goal. When you are on the treadmill and your lungs feel like they are about to explode, are you thinking about the pain and discomfort? Most of us are. That is why it is so hard for people to stick with a fitness plan. The next time they are going to the gym they are thinking of everything it is going to cost them. The drive there. The discomfort of their muscles as they are working out. The soreness they will experience after. If you are focused on all of these things, you will not make it long-term.

Now, if you ask yourself, “Is good physical fitness worth it to me?” That will lead to a different focus. Is it worth it to be able to keep up with your kids or grandkids? Is it worth it to be able to go up a flight of stairs without the aid of a team of sherpas and a liter of oxygen? Are the sore muscles worth being able to stand for long periods of time without your back feeling like it is going to break in two? Is the stigma of being the oldest person in the gym worth not being the youngest person in the nursing home?

That is the fitness example. It is pretty straight forward and easy to understand. Here is something a little trickier and more sensitive. It works the same in your relationships. When you think of a relationship there is lots of work involved. This is especially true if you want a deep and successful one. Is it worth sacrificing your happiness for that of your partner or the relationship on occasion? Is having awkward and difficult discussions to establish rules and borders within the relationship? How about the disagreements when you have opposing values? When you focus on these things, staying single seems like a better option.

Now ask yourself questions about worth. Is it worth it to have a person to always come home to? Is it worth it to have someone who often understands you better than you understand yourself? Is having someone you know will always have your back? How about love that will grow and continue to teach you about yourself and life in general? Having someone to wrap your arms around on a cold winter night, is that worth it to you? If it is, you will gladly suffer the costs if you continue to focus on the value and worth of the relationship.

In some of these cases the honest answer may be ‘no’ and that is ok. It would be better for us to know this at the onset. If you tell yourself “I am going to start working out in the new year.” Ask yourself how much is being physically fit worth to you? Is it worth the challenges you will have to overcome? If not, it may be better for you to focus on a goal that is more in line with your value.

Do not take my word on this. Try it for yourself. Trade focusing on cost to focusing on worth and see how much more determination and discipline you will find yourself having. It will also help reduce the stress going through these challenges knowing how much the payoff is worth to you.

WAKE UP! 😳

We are at the end of the first full week of the new year. How are those goals coming? Have you fallen victim to the millions of distractions in the world? Before you realize it, they can have you sleeping on your goals and dreams! What can you do about that? Don’t worry, we have a simple solution in mind.

When you fall asleep at night, how do manage to get back up and get back at it? You set an alarm! That is precisely what you should do to stick to your goals. I don’t care if it is to eat healthier, exercise more or spend time meditating. This little tip will work for them all.

Pick a time you can rely on. Set an alarm on your phone. If you have the option, add a few words of encouragement or reminder of your goals. Here is the key. Then take at least one action. Eat a healthy meal or snack. Food prep. Do 20 squats or meditate for 5 minutes. If you start making this a daily habit it will increase your chances for success! An easy way to do this is to simply set an alarm to remind you. Just remember to always take an action. It will provide you with momentum and you will be halfway to success!

NEW YEAR, OR ANOTHER YEAR? 🤔

This is one of those quotes that really call us out. We can have all the resolutions and grand goals we can think of, but if we don’t change the small things we do daily, nothing will change. It can be hard to change a habit that you are used to. I get that. One thing that may help is having a handy quote to say to yourself.

Saying “New year or another year?” When you are tempted not to follow through on a new discipline can have you stop and think. Margie found a quote we say to each other now, “Don’t put it down, put it away.” Taking a few seconds to put something back can save you from a feeling of overwhelm when you have a room full of stuff to put away later.

Have you come across a quote like this that you can use as a mantra to help you stick to your goals? I recall hearing one of my favorite fitness people I follow online, Greg Plitt (R.I.P) remind us that our names are attached to our actions. If you drop a piece of trash on the ground you pick it up because that represents who you are. Excellence is not a one time event. It is what we do everyday.

Share a quote that inspires you to be your best!

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE GAINS

This weekend as many of us ponder what our New Year resolutions might be, let us frame them in a way that we focus on what we will gain. Want to quit a bad habit such as smoking? Don’t focus on ‘giving up’ cigarettes. Instead, focus on ‘gaining‘ freedom and fresh smelling clothes and better breathing and sense of taste.

Whenever making an adjustment, whether that is a healthy diet, a calm mind or anything else we are looking to accomplish, I suggest focusing on adding a positive instead of eliminating a negative. Social media is a great example of this. Many people say it is too negative. They begin to try to eliminate negative people and sources. Not a bad plan. By simply adding more positive ones, the likelihood they will see negative decreases. This is the same way life works.

Think of healthy eating. If you add eating one healthy meal a day, your stomach will have less room for junk. If you spend more time with positive people, that’s less time you can spend with negative people. Focus on the gains this coming year!

THE SIZE OF YOUR STONES 🪨

Almost the end of January. How are those New Year’s resolutions coming along? According to the University of Scranton, 80% of us have forgotten ours by January 12th. If you have already found yourself unable to keep up with the lofty goals you imagined around the first of the month, fear not. It is time to tackle those once again. This time, perhaps a little more intelligently.

One of the main issues with keeping up with our lofty goals is just that, they are too lofty. As the quote above says, “If you want to move a mountain, start with small stones.” Is your goal to eat healthy in the new year? Start with adding one healthy meal to your day. That will leave less room for junk food. You can slowly work that up to two meals or more as you gain momentum.

Many people do this when it comes to working out. The gyms are packed on January first, and deserted by the first of the following month. You can’t go from binge watching television and eating pizza every day to working out three times a week and running on weekends. It is just not sustainable. Instead, start with a walk after dinner. Do that three times a week. Once a week try taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Even easier, try parking a little further away from the store and getting a few extra steps that way. Many of you may be thinking “That will not give me the results I am looking for.” You may be right, but neither will working out for less than a month and quitting. What you need to do is build up a habit and momentum. That is made a lot easier if it is not so painful. If you are left feeling like you could do more, that is great. You can and will do more, just give it time.

Whether you are struggling to maintain your resolution or have just given up on it all together. It is time to start a new. This time start moving that mountain by picking up small stones. Just like the literal translation of this metaphor, you will gain strength that will allow you to pick up bigger and bigger stones as the year progresses. Give yourself the best chance for success. Start small and think big!

WHY YOUR RESOLUTIONS FAIL😕

Here is a notice I got from WordPress the other day. I have posted blogs for 200 days in a row. One of my resolutions is to have a blog everyday this year, so that number should be a lot higher come the end of the year.

It got me thinking of resolutions we make and why they fail. As a regular gym goer, it is amusing to see how busy the gyms are on January 1st, and how dead they are on January 31st! This is because most people miss a key ingredient to success. I’m writing this so you are not one of those people.

Let’s say you do 20 squats today. If you look in the mirror, what difference would you see? My guess is not much. Let us say you do 20 squats a day for a week. Now look in the mirror, other than the look of mild discomfort on your face, I’m not sure there would be much difference. Now…let us say you did 20 squats a day, which should take no more than 5 minutes of your day, for 200 days. If you look in the mirror would there be a difference? You know the answer would be yes. In fact, the way your clothes fit would tell you the answer before you looked in the mirror.

Here is the funny thing. We know if we did this minor change, that takes all of 5 minutes, for 200 days there would be a significant change. Yet, after a week, maybe two, we have given up on most of our resolutions. Why? We forgot the key of consistency! Even a small change, done long enough, will bring big results. What small change can you start, and stick with for 200 days, that will make a big difference?

Here’s another bonus. If you stick with it for 200 days, like my blogs, you won’t want to stop. Once you see the big improvement, your motivation and dedication will be through the roof!

GET STARTED… KEEP GOING!🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️

Coming up on the first full weekend of the new year. How are those resolutions going? Hopefully you made it a full 2 weeks. One of the reasons resolutions, or goals, fail is that we rely too much on motivation. Once motivation starts to fade, we are often unable to stay committed to our end result.

A great way to make sure that we stay on the path to our goals is to set up habits that serve us. Think of your goal for the new year. Is there a small habit you could set up to keep you moving in the right direction? Simple examples are swapping your coffee for green tea if you want to cut down on caffeine. Parking future away at stores if your goal is to increase your steps. Pick a time to tell your spouse one thing you are grateful for if your goal is to increase the appreciation in your relationship.

What is your goal? Is there a simple habit you can start before the motivation begins to fade? Let’s make the new year a success!

BUILD SLOWLY 🐌

A while back we talked about this blog being viewed in all but roughly 6 or 8 countries of the world. Some have political barriers that will not allow us to be viewed there. Others, like Greenland, are not so populated and may take some time to reach. I have been writing these posts for over 10 years now. (Has it really been that long?!) Sharing my journey and everything I have learned with all of you. Last year, I started my own podcast. You can connect to it by clicking the link at the end of this post. As of the writing of this post, it is followed in 6 countries. Quite the opposite of this blog. Still, I have only recording episodes for 5 or 6 months verses the 10 years of writing blogs.

While building an audience for this blog, I was reminded of lessons I give my life-coaching clients – build slowly. It is easier to add small positive steps in the right direction than to do a dramatic change in your direction. The same holds true for changes we wish to make in our life. If we have spent months on the couch eating pizza and watching movies, than going to the gym 5 days a week would be a stretch we may find it difficult to maintain. However, going for a walk after dinner, parking a little further away at the store to get a few more steps or simply finding a physical activity we enjoy helps us get started on the right path. I love the picture above because it shows little ways to get started doing big things. You want to begin a practice of meditation? Start by taking a deep breath before a sip of coffee. Want to journal, but find it difficult to sit down and write? Talk to yourself in the car. Not only will it get you in the practice of verbalizing your thoughts and feelings, as a bonus it will freak out the other drivers around you.

It any endeavor we embark on, doing so beginning slowly will give us the best chance to maintain these healthy habits. Want to cut down on your drinking? Start by consuming more healthy beverages such as iced herbal tea, (there are some delicious and functional options), green tea or of course, water. Want to cut down on your internet viewing? Try scheduling a fun coffee appointment with friends once a week. Would you like to know a secret to accomplishing goals and changing to a healthier lifestyle easier and with less stress? I am sure all of us would. Here is something I have discovered. It is far easier to add positive things in your life than to solely focus on eliminating something negative. When you focus on eliminating something negative, your brain encompasses a feeling of less, sacrifice or being deprived. “You mean I can’t eat all of the pizza I want and still lose that belly I have been carrying around?” If you focus on adding something healthier your brain either has a feeling of getting healthier at best, or at least does not have the feeling of lack at worst. “Wow, this veggie chili not only tastes good, but is good for me?”

In closing, focus on building slowly and sustainably. Little wins and accomplishments will help you gain and keep momentum as you are moving in the direction of a more amazing life. Focusing on quality changes instead of quantity also increases success. Instead of trying to go for a run, followed by the gym, followed by a yoga class, focus on doing 2 sets of 10 squats every day with perfect form. You will gain the momentum of sticking with a healthy habit. Soon, you will notice a difference, and that will not only help you gain further momentum, but may motivate you to add other positive changes. Build slowly, but keep building my friends.

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MAKE A NEW CHOICE!😃

Looking back on this past year, there are things we wish we would have done differently. There are also things that we wish would have turned out differently. When we backtrack in our minds, let us not just be filled with frustration and regret, but look at the decisions we made that led up to those outcomes.

Tony Robbins says, “Our decisions determine our destiny.” I believe that to be true. You decide to work at a certain place and maybe that it where you meet the person who ends up being the love of your life. You decide to move to a certain neighborhood and that determines where you shop and the people you interact with.

It is not just these grand decisions that determine our destiny. In fact, to a greater degree, it is the small daily decisions that have the biggest impact on our lives. At every meal, what you decide to put in your mouth will determine the energy you have, the health of your body, the strength of your immune system, and your overall appearance. The people you surround yourself with has one of the greatest impact on your life. They say you are the culmination of the 5 people you surround yourself with the most.

One of the most powerful decisions we make is the words we use. Not only in our conversations with others, but also with ourselves. If you tell yourself, “I feel like I am on the verge of death.” When you have a cold, it will have you feeling one way. If you say, “I’m a little under the weather, but I’m getting better. ” will lend itself to a far different feeling. Some people have a hard time believing this is so. If you are one of those people, I ask you to do this little experiment. Spend some time with someone you know who is generally a melancholy individual. Really listen to how they speak and the words they use. Then, after you have given yourself some time to cleanse your ears, do the same with someone who always seems to be in a good mood. Notice the difference in how they speak.

Another important aspect to consider is the thoughts we frequently have, which are dictated by the things we say internally and externally, embed themselves in our subconscious mind. This is a whole conversation in itself. Just note when you frequently think and say the same thing, it becomes a habit and part of our reality. That holds true if it is positive or negative.

This year, let us focus on making better decisions and that will provide us better outcomes. This is a daily adventure. Thinking about what we put in our bodies. To the ever important, what we think and what we say. Surround yourself with positive, motivated people. It will not only help you improve your inner and outer dialog, but you may gain insight on some better decisions. I know I’m going to work on mine. Think of one positive and empowering phrase you can begin to use today. If you feel comfortable, please share it with the rest of us.

GET EXCITED!🤗

It is day 2 of the New Year. How are your new year goals coming? Hopefully 2 days in you are still going strong. We all hear the cliché about the gym being full January 1st and empty by the 14th. As someone who goes to the gym regularly, I can attest to the truth of this. We know our drive will start to fade.

That is why it is vital to do something now to keep our excitement level up. I suggest that you plan celebrating small goals. Make it one week going to the gym? Buy yourself a new workout outfit. When you reach one month plan another treat. Maybe a spa day? Keep this up while the difficult process of becoming a habit takes place.

It is good to foster things to stay motivated. Maybe put together a list of songs that get you pumped up and create a Playlist. Think of movies that inspire you to be your best and work toward your goals. It is time to get these and other ideas together now. That way, when your motivation begins to fade, which it will, you have a little extra help.

A few other ideas that were given to me to help stay motivated are having a vision board, buying a new outfit in the size you would like to become, start a savings account with weekly or monthly goals. These and many others would be great ideas. What are yours?