Here is a story that was relayed to me that I would love to pass on to all of you. It is a prime example where you can go from being a victim, to being a miracle worker. I warn you that doing this is not easy or for the faint of heart. What I can promise you is that it will bring you boundless joy and help transform the world. Does that sound like I might be reaching for hyperbole? Hear my story and decide for yourself.

My friend was working at a dry cleaners. I am sure on an average day most transactions transpired like the picture above. Both parties smiling and things going smoothly. Maybe a lot of them are people complaining about the price of dry cleaning? I really don’t know as I have worked with the public, but never in a dry cleaning concern. What is certain is that if you work with the public for long enough, you are going to have a tough day. It is just such a day that our story takes place on.

An older customer came in looking to get a suit cleaned. “This is a very important suit. I need it cleaned very carefully and back in a timely fashion.” the woman stated. My friend informed her of the charges and the lady paid. My friend prepared the suit to be sent off to be cleaned. He marked it urgent and placed it ahead of the other garments that were to be sent out for the day. The next day he was expecting to see the suit come back. It did not. As expected the lady came it to retrieve her garment. My friend had to apologize and inform the older lady that it had not returned yet. “It is important I get that suit back on time young man.” she asserted once more. My friend promised her he would look into it.

The following day came, but the suit did not. The lady appeared before my friend and inquired about picking up the suit she had paid to get cleaned. When informed that is was not present, she became incensed. My friend told her he would call the location that cleaned the item himself and he could call her with an answer. “I’ll wait.” she informed him, becoming angrier by the minute. My friend picked up the phone and inquired about the nice suit he had sent to get cleaned. “Umm…that one, yeah we lost it.” the voice on the other end of the receiver told him. He glanced up at the elderly woman who was becoming impatient for an answer. “Can you find it?” he implored. “We will look and call you back.” He hung up. “Well, what did they say?” she pressed. He swallowed hard before giving his answer.

When informed the garment had been lost, he had expected her to be upset. What he did not expect was the rage and expletives that followed. She repeated how important this suit was and how she needed it back right away. Just then the phone rang and it was the warehouse. “Yeah, that suit is gone.” He was told unofficially that sometimes nicer items, such as this suit, had a way of disappearing. Could he really tell this lady who was already so upset that someone might have taken it? The man on the other end of the receiver suggested that my friend offer a coupon for the next time she wanted something cleaned. How that would work if you lost the first item is beyond me, but that answer is easy to give when you are not face to face with the customer.

Seeing how upset the woman was, my friend decided to take a different approach. He recalled a saying he once heard, “Hurt people hurt people.” He went over to the woman and said, “Ma’am, I understand you are upset about your suit being lost, and I don’t blame you. However, is everything alright?” Now, after being cussed out and screamed at, would you consider that customer’s feelings? Most of us would have to honestly answer ‘no’. My friend did and this is where the miracle occurred.

After my friend’s question, the woman broke down in tears. Between her sobbing, she explained the suit had belonged to her only son who had just passed away. His funeral was that weekend and she wanted him buried in his finest suit. Soon, my friend’s eyes were also filled with tears. He asked the lady if he could give her a hug. Suddenly, all of the vicious things, and expletive rants made sense. It wasn’t anger over a lost suit. No, it was the pain over the loss of an only son. After she had left, my friend called the owners of the dry cleaner and explained the situation. The contacted the woman. Although they were never able to find the suit, they gave her money to buy the best suit in town for her son as he was laid to rest.

The point of this story is that my friend took the time and effort to discover what the woman was hurting from. Instead of compounding the woman’s grief, he may have very well showed her, through his compassion, that others really do care. Suffering the loss of her only son was a grief he could not take away, but seeing a young man care so much for a stranger that was cursing him out, may have given her a little feeling of hope.

If we understand that it really is hurt people that hurt people, we can go from victim to being someone’s angel in time of need. Is that easy? No. Not taking someone’s insults personally and still showing enough compassion to inquire about their pain can change the world. Not only for them, but for the world at large. How about you? Are you able to brush off a personal attack and consider that person may just be expressing they are hurting? It doesn’t have to be a stranger. Think of how many times this happens in families, at the workplace or even between loving spouses. Understanding their anger may be coming from a place of pain will allow us to heal in a way we could not if we just feel like a victim.