Tag: Neil Panoisan

THROW AWAY YOUR ROTTEN FRUIT 🍎

I love this analogy. We can all picture this can’t we? It happens in our house more than we would like. You get one bad fruit and suddenly, the whole bunch is no good. People are not much different. One of the axioms of the self-improvement industry is that you ‘become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with’ or something close to that. If all of your closest friends are poor, there is a very good chance that you are not that far from them. There was one study that revealed you are generally within 10,000 of income to the people you spend the greatest time around. Sometimes much closer. Want to be fit, but spend your time around people who keep doughnut shops in business? Chances are it is going to be a long and difficult road to that dream body.

You may be tempted to say, “Neil, people are not fruit!” While this is true, at least for most of us, the situation is the same. One negative person in the workplace can destroy the mood of the entire office. Look at our examples above. If you are in a group of people who spends their money for short-term gratification and does not know how to make their money work for them, how are you every going to learn those skills? You will be tempted to have the same Amazon packages filling your porch that they do. How about the fitness and healthy eating example? If your friends are going out for ice cream and chicken wings every night, you are either going to not be spending a good deal of time with them, or searching for the ‘healthiest’ thing on a menu that may not offer you a good option.

That is not to say you have to dump any friend that does not align perfectly with your life goals. Just that you should be aware that attitude, habits, and discipline, or the lack of, can spread just like that mold on the fruit. One of the scariest things about this, is often, unlike the mold, you cannot see it happening. A bad attitude or lack of discipline are not visible. The effects of them are. if you have any rotten fruit in your life, you should throw it away before it spreads. That holds true as much for people and habits as it does for the oranges on your counter.

TRUE STRENGTH 💪

Here is another reminder of how strong you are. Before the work week begins and we indulge our crazy minds with all of the challenges that we are going to face, why not take a second to think of some of the ones we overcame. Didn’t think you could get that job and now you are about to clock in for another day? Didn’t think you would ever make it through that terrible bit of allergies, but here you are breathing free and clear! Didn’t think you would ever survive the break-up with what’s their name? Here you are living a happier life without them.

In life we make it through a whole host of things we never thought we could. We make it through the loss of a job. That could be getting fired or downsized. We make it through the loss of a relationship. That could be divorce. It could be the loss of a close friendship. We even survive the loss of those we love. This is not to say that we do not feel the hurt and loss of some of these situations, but we wake up and put one foot in front of the other. It is time to recognize that is true strength. We are more resilient that we give ourselves credit for. We notice when we are overcome with sadness and grief, but we should acknowledge the fact that we push on. Yes, we may take a day or more hiding from the world under the covers, and that is ok. Eventually, we venture out into the world once again. The inner strength this takes is no small feat.

Give yourself credit for the days you make it through and be kind to yourself the days you struggle. That is true strength.

LIVE IN A LOVING WORLD 🌎

Mr. Dyer got it right here! He grew up in a rough world. He lived in an orphanage a good part of his young life. He had many challenges, but still viewed the world as a loving world. To some of the more cynical, this may sound like some positive thinking nonsense. Let us take a step back and look at what we are talking about with this quote, because it really is a good one.

Let us start from the beginning. “Loving people live in a loving world.” Does this mean that they will never face challenges? Of course not. Does this mean that everyone in their life will be loving? We all know that you cannot control others, nor should you try. What does it mean? It means that by being loving to others, they are far more likely to receive that love in return. Let us look at a logical example. I am writing in a local coffee shop, as I so often do. When I come here, I am always pleasant to the staff. Not only because that is how we should be, but because I know first hand how challenging working with the public can often be. Knowing that I always treat them with respect and kindness, how do you think they feel when they see me coming through the door? What kind of service do you think I will receive, even on a busy day? This not only holds true for people working at a coffee shop, but your friends, the Uber driver, your coworkers and anyone else you come in contact with.

Now, let us look at the second part of the quote. “Hostile people live in a hostile world.” If you are someone who is always complaining or noticing what is wrong in the world, how do you think others will treat you? Let us take the same coffee shop example. If you always complain about your drink, or treat retail help like indentured servants, how do you think they will feel when they see you walk through the door? What kind of service do you think you will receive? Nobody really wants to be around a hostile or negative person, even a hostile or negative person.

The last two words of this quote may be the most powerful, “Same world.” In every life there are things to complain about. There are circumstances that are unfair and negative. There are also moments of beauty and joy. There are random acts of kindness to notice. It is not about denying either of these, but which one we focus on. The crazy powerful thing about it is, the choice is ours. If the world seems unloving or unusually negative, we can turn it around quicker than we might think. If we feel like life has been unfairly hostile to us, we can change that too. Whatever we feel our life is lacking, we need to give away. Tony Robbins says, “The secret to living is giving.” It really is. Not only will giving bring us a great amount of joy, but it will also bring us untold returns. Whether we give away love and positivity or hostility and negativity is up to us. Just so I can have two posts that quote both Winnie-the-Pooh and Tony Robbins to make the same point, I will leave you with this quote from that loveable bear.

WHEN YOU ARE DISCOURAGED 😞

In today’s world, it is easy to get discouraged. We know that there are negative influences at every turn. There of course is the nightly news. Turn that off. There is all the political division. Do not fall for that. There are different faiths convincing you they are right and everyone else is wrong. Love everyone anyway. News even comes to our phones. Turn off the notification.

Even if we take all of the measures to insulate ourselves from the pressures of life that may bring us down, it can still get through. We can witness it at the coffee shop. Coworkers can come up and inform us of it. Sometimes we can just feel discouraged and lacking hope. It is at this very moment we should do what the photo above suggests. It works 100% of the time. There is nothing that feels as good as knowing you helped make the world a little brighter for someone else. The opportunities are everywhere. People post their tough days on social media. There are charities to help at. This could be a food bank, a domestic violence shelter or a million other options. Even something as encouraging a server in a restaurant, like my lovely lady did today, or a retail setting can make their world a lot brighter.

Wisdom from one of my favorite philosophers. Winnie-the-Pooh touches on something very helpful here. When we are feeling discouraged, it can be tempting to just sit at home and wallow in our misery. Seeking out others in “our corner of the woods” that could use some encouragement is just what the doctor ordered. It not only gets us out of the house, which will help our emotional state in and of itself. “Motion equals emotion.” as Tony Robbins says. Yes, I just quoted both Winnie-the-Pooh and Tony Robbins to make the same point. That is just how my brain rolls. It will also give us a mission and an important reason for being. Two more ways to positively impact our emotional state before we encourage a single soul. When we do find those in “the woods” that need us, we will be helping them as much as they will be helping us.

Creating as many of these win/win situations as we can will rid our life of that terrible feeling of discouragement. Here is something that should be obvious, but since we are focused on feeling discouraged, I thought I should mention it. This works even if we are having a good day. When we encourage others, it will give our own emotional state a lift. This is true whether we are feeling down in the dumps, or even if we are walking on cloud nine. Encourage someone today! It will make someone’s day and may save yours!

WHO IS YOUR MASTER?⛓️

Many of us concern ourselves with being powerful. We try to control situations as much as we are able. Some of us even try to control others. Those are fools endeavors. You will never be able to fully control any situation. There are just too many variables and doing so will only add stress to it. Controlling others is not only morally incorrect, but it leads to resentment and loss of respect. If we wish to be truly powerful, we should focus solely on controlling ourselves.

When we allow someone to affect our emotional state, they in turn become our master. If we put the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket, true happiness will be a door that forever remains locked. Our emotions are powerful. Our mind is beyond powerful. It is up to us to control and direct that power to a worthwhile end. If we do not, it will be at the whim of outside circumstances. Our live will feel out of control, and worse than that, it actually will be.

This is not a state secret. The mind is a very powerful force. The constant conversation existing there can either be encouraging, or limiting. We can be filled with confidence, or with doubt. The difference is having control of our mind. How do we get control of our mind? There are many ways. Meditation is one. Learning to harness all of our runaway thoughts. To strengthen the mind/body connection so that we may use it for healing instead of sickness. Another way to control our minds is developing discipline. Many people think this is just for overachievers. Not so. Your mind will forever convince you that you have earned that binge watching session on the couch. Maybe you have. Delaying immediate gratification for accomplishment of long-term goals means you will not be a slave to your desires.

You may be asking yourself what the big deal is in all of this. Who cares if I take an extra break? Would not life be more enjoyable spending extra time in pleasure activities? It would be…if we earn them. To know that our paper isn’t written, or our housework is not done will be a constant source of stress no matter how hard we work to ignore it. Think you are pulling one over on the boss by taking an extra break? For several reasons this is not so. The obvious one is that you will be one of the first employees to go when the company hits hard times. Even worse is the knowledge that you are getting paid for more than you are doing. Your coworkers could see it. Your boss certainly might notice. Even if you manage to fool all of them, the loss of pride and self-realization that you are not being the best version of yourself at whatever endeavor you are engaged in, will haunt you when you are alone.

Today, do not give in to the voices in your head. Become the master and not the mastered. You deserve to bring the best of you, not only to the world, but to whatever you are doing. Put off immediate gratification. Remember the long term goal. It may not seem as ‘fun’ but it will leave you with a sense of pride in yourself that will feel better than any binge watching session or high-calorie indulgence you may be considering. You can do this. You got this!

YOU’RE DOING GREAT!😃

On this site, we have focused a great deal on gratitude. For my money, there is nothing that will positively affect your life more intensely, or quicker, than developing an attitude of gratitude. Focusing on all of the amazing things that we do have in life will place us in a state of abundance quicker than anything else I know.

Today’s post is a little of the opposite. This may sound a bit funny after all of positives we listed in the paragraph above, but hear me out. Today is about focusing on all of the challenges we have in our lives. Not to leave us feeling overwhelmed. No. No. Understanding that we have kept going despite many things that would have stopped others. We may have stumbled. We may have fallen. We have not given up! Look in the mirror and realize that you have survived 100% of your worst days. Even the days that seemed the darkest.

Today, take some time to recognize how strong you are, even if it does not always feel like it. You have made it, despite feeling the urge to give up. You should be proud of yourself. We, at Secret2anamazinglife.com, are proud of you. By reading this blog post you are working to improve your life and add just that little bit more light. Now, go out into the world with your head held high! You may have a long way to go to be where you want to be, but you are a far way from where you used to be. More importantly, you are still here. Still striving. You are stronger than you think! Be proud of yourself.

CELEBRATE WITH ME!🌳

Today is World Nature Day. I love looking up what random holidays fall on any given day. Further proof that every day is worth celebrating. What is the purpose of World Nature Day? It is a day to recognize the challenges that nature is currently facing and to take some action to help them. Before you think you will have to clean up a river, or picket outside some environmentally irresponsible company, although both good actions indeed, it is not that complicated. Simple things, such as planting a tree, cleaning the litter in your yard or donating to a worthwhile cause that helps nature are all very good.

One of the easiest things to do is to get out and enjoy nature. Not only does this have great benefits for you both physically and psychologically, but sharing your experiences will remind others of the magic of nature and maybe motivate them to get out and enjoy it as well. Here is a picture of a hawk that I took at the end of my block. Some crows were not very happy he was there, but I enjoyed the chance to snap a picture. Even reading a great story about nature can motivate you to get outdoors. I am currently listening to A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. Although Mr. Bryson never acknowledged the book I sent him, this is still one of my favorite reads. The audio book is even more amazing. They even made a humorous movie out of it. Proof what fun and adventure can be had exploring your own country, and even your own community.

Celebrate World Nature Day today! Enjoy some time outdoors. Do something that will help nature be a resource that generations to come will be able to enjoy. Even if it is as simple as a walk in the neighborhood, or at a local park, and share what you discover.

THIS IS SCARY 😨

Today begins the month of October. Many of us spend this month watching scary movies and putting up decorations of ghosts, goblins and such. We read scary stories and dress up for Halloween. Here is a scary thought that I would like to share with you today. The quote above says it all. Do not forget this month, while you are thinking about what type of candy would bring a smile to the faces of the children that come to your door, to think about what would bring a smile to your face as well

The truly scary part in life is that many of us do not make ourselves, and by default our happiness, a priority. We worry about what we must do at work to keep the boss happy. We worry about what we have to do at home to keep the spouse and/or the family happy. We worry about our friends, our relatives and those we care about. This is all good, but without keeping our own well-being in mind, it can lead to disaster. It can have us feeling like we have a drained battery. It can have us trying to fill someone’s cup from our empty pitcher. Whatever analogy works for you. The fact is that the better we take care of ourselves, the better we can take care of those around us.

This is so true. Even those who love us and really want the best for us, can often have a bad day. They can be preoccupied with their own life challenges. We must remember to spend some time each day dedicated to making sure our own happiness and inner peace are intact. Doing so will provide us the best opportunity to serve others and do so in a way that feels good, not draining. In fact, feeling drained or overwhelmed is often the way the body is signaling to us that we need to spend a little more time on self-care. That is not to say we should become self-absorbed, but that we should spend some of our life making ourselves a priority. This will not only allow us to serve others better, but increase the quality of our life as we do so.

HANG WITH THESE PEOPLE 😊

As this post is published, it is the start of the weekend! Saturday baby! A day generally reserved for relaxation and hanging out with friends. Today’s thoughts will serve you not only on a Saturday, but on any day you read this. It is not about only associating with people who can “Get us things.” No. It is about associating with people who can bring something to our spirit. People who remind us to practice self-care. People, who by their very presence, are self-care. Someone who will inspire us. Someone who makes us feel heard or accepted. These are the people we should surround ourselves with. They will make our lives feel so much richer and fuller.

A quick reminder that life is a balance. It is not just about receiving, but about giving. Can you give to them the great things they bring to you? It is often the great listener that is longing to be heard. It is the one who pays genuine compliments that needs to hear some reassuring words the most. How can you not only appreciate the good others bring to you, but learn from it and pass it not only to others, but back to them as well? This is the secret to life. It is quite often in the giving that we feel the greatest joy.

THE KEY TO GREATNESS 🔑

I was never friends with Bob Marley. He died when I was 5. I feel like we would have had a lot to talk about. Although his recreational habits may differ from mine, a lot of his life philosophy really falls in line with what we discuss here. Take this quote above discussing greatness. He uses the word ‘man’ but it applies to everyone. Many people who are determined to be great focus on all of the wrong things. They do their best to acquire wealth, fame or power. What they should really be focused on is developing character, integrity and positively affecting others.

When you become focused on bettering yourself and being a source of positive influence to others and those you care about, the world will see you as great. If you have a wealthy friend, but you know them to be dishonest and they won’t even return your calls, would you consider them great? I know I wouldn’t. However, if you had a friend that was poor, or did not have many friends or social media followers, but was always there to lend a hand or even to just listen, would you consider them a great individual? I think it would be safe to say that answer is yes.

All this is not to say that you shouldn’t pursue goals or chase your dreams in life. It is good to better your plot in life. It is more important to better yourself if you truly want to be great. By doing so, your plot in life will often follow in its improvement. We should all strive to be great and do so by becoming the best version of us that we can.