When does 99 seconds become 5 minutes? They do say time is relative. I once heard a quote that stated, “How long 3 minutes is depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on.” A better demonstration of the relativity of time I have yet to hear. In today’s post, the answer is that 99 seconds becomes 5 minutes when the gentleman making the video does not pay attention to time.
The gentleman is me, and the video is one from my YouTube channel (Neil Panosian – feel free to subscribe). In this video, I come some very interesting points. There is the discussion of what happens when you bring your work home with you and how bad that can be for your home life. It also covers some other tips for turning things around.
Yes, the video is a little longer than 99 seconds, but there is a lot of good information in it. Plus, you get a few moments with a future best-selling author. How can you go wrong? Click on the link below to watch the video. Don’t forget to give it a thumbs up and leave any comments you may have.
One of our greatest powers as human beings is the power to connect with others. There are so many people that come to mind when I say this. My friend Nick and I could talk, with interest, for hours. My friend Curtis, whom I miss since he moved away, always gave me great ideas. Of course my beautiful lady, Margie, fills me with joy as we connect on so many different levels. Each one of these people, along with so many others I could name, bring something unique and special into my life.
If you think about the people you connect with in your life, I am sure each one of them brings something unique and special. Some people spark ideas. Some of them offer encouragement. There are people that challenge you and hold you accountable to your standards. There are those wonderful souls that just fill your heart with joy by being in their presence. Every soul that we interact with is a gift. Even those who may be an arduous task to connect with, give our character strength. They may also help us practice patience and restraint.
Today, let us take a moment to think of all the ways connections benefit us and give thanks for all of the wonderful people that share life with us. In my upcoming fourth book, I have received feedback from many of the friends that I value and look forward to sharing that with you. The connection they share with me has only made my life better. They say when two people connect, a third is born. Meaning a connection, ideas and actions that neither person would come up with on their own. Connections bless our world more than we know. That us take a moment to be grateful for them today.
It is Monday, let us do this week a little different. Normally, the reason we do things is for what we can get out of it. This is not always a monetary issue. We can get a feeling of accomplishment, such as when we clean the house. We can get a feeling of health and energy, like when we finish a good workout. It can even be more seemingly altruistic. Maybe we are doing it to get a good feeling, such as when we help another person. Depending on your motive, this can be a motivating way to move through life.
What I advocate we do this week, is ask ourselves this question, “Who is this going to help me become?” In the case of cleaning the house, will it help you become a more disciplined, less stressed, individual? Working out can leave you a healthier, more flexible and yes, less stressed, person. How about helping someone for no reason other than developing your character and becoming someone who can relate to others better?
This week, ask yourself “Who is this helping me become?” Even dragging yourself into work on a Monday morning when you really don’t feel like it can make you a person who is viewed as reliable. It can also make you someone you can be proud of. A person who takes care of their responsibilities even when they would rather not. It can also help you avoid things you shouldn’t do. Tempted by those doughnuts in the breakroom? Eating them will make you someone who gives into temptation and who does not put an accent on their health. What are your actions helping you become?
The end of the weekend is fast approaching. Too fast for many of us. Before we pick out a black mourning outfit to wear to work on Monday, let us remember that although we have left our 48 hours of freedom behind, we are starting something new. No, I am not talking about 120 hours in which we are in work mode. Although looking at the numbers, I do feel it should be a little more balanced. What it could be is the beginning of the most wonderful week of our lives. We never know what might await us in the coming days.
As you can see in the photo above, I recently returned from vacation with this beautiful lady. As the days get further away from being in the sunny Bahamas, I have 2 choices. I could lament the fact that it has been even longer since I have been laying on a beach after a breakfast buffet, or I can think that it is the beginning (and one week closer) to planning the next escape with my lovely lady. You may think this is splitting hairs, so to speak, and you may be right. Here is another truth – although both facts may be true, looking at them in different ways will give you entirely different feelings. Why not pick the one that makes you feel good?
Take the words of wisdom from the great Mr. Rogers. Every end is also a new beginning. We should work on fostering feelings of excitement for what is next in our lives. It will have us viewing life as we should, as one big adventure.
It has happened to all of us. Some less-than-thoughtful person says, or does, something to ruin our day. Maybe it is something particularly unnerving that sticks with us. I know that is something yours truly is working on. It can set the tone for your entire day. Here is a hard truth – it shouldn’t. Each person, each interaction, should be viewed as a clean slate. We should give each person a fresh opportunity. This is done not only to benefit those we interact with, but ourselves as well. If you let that bad experience fester, it can really drive you crazy. Trust me, it is something that I know all too well.
That creates the question, how do we start fresh with each person? By seeing them for what they are, a new adventure to discover and unfold. Even the same person who is always negative can transform through some life epiphany. The odds may play against that, but it can happen. I have a lady at my day job who is like that. Let us call her “Michelle”. Whenever I have cause to interact with this young lady, there are a few things I do. First, I guard my energy because she is an emotional vampire who can suck the joy out of you. Then, I remember it is an opportunity to try and influence her energy instead of the other way around. Then, I do my best to remember that anyone can change. Even those who have been the same for years.
Just like wearing garlic for regular vampires, you must protect your energy with emotional vampires as well. Use the steps above. If you are feeling a bit down, be that physically or emotionally, do your best to avoid them. When you do interact with them, remember to give them opportunities to change their ways. If they do, encourage them by reacting positively. If they do not, be grateful that you are not the same. I also find viewing it like an emotional day at the gym. When we work out physically, we encounter resistance. It is always work, and seldom fun. Yet, we leave the gym feeling stronger and as a slightly better version of ourselves.
Just remember these important things when encountering sunshine-challenged people. First, protect your own energy. You can do this in many different ways. Use the one that speaks to you. Do not forget to give them the benefit of the doubt. Anyone can change at any time. If they have not, view it as an emotional workout. Let it strengthen your ability to remain positive in the face of negativity.
This gent is Jocko Willink. One of the people I listen to for strategy and tools for improving myself. As a former Navy Seal, he has learned some valuable lessons. His book, Discipline Equals Freedom, is a must read for anyone looking to take charge of their life. He also has some very helpful YouTube videos I would recommend checking out. It was in one of these very videos that I got the idea for today’s post. In the video, Jocko discusses people’s need for constant motivation. Personally, I surround myself with as many motivating tools as I can. From pictures to playlists, I do my best to always have something motivating at arm’s length. It is so easy to slip, that I think we could always use a helping hand.
The point of his video was that he did not like what the words ‘self-improvement’, ‘self-help’ and ‘motivation’ have come to mean. In today’s world, rather than spend time working on themselves, people spend that time looking for a hack, or quick fix that requires very little effort. The time they spent looking for this hack, could have been spent in diligent effort on long-lasting improvement. When he came to the word ‘motivation’ that’s when something clicked. He mentioned that people think this means having someone acting as a cheerleader or standing behind them yelling at them to push forward. That is not at all what it means.
If you take the word ‘motivation’ apart, it means to find, or have, a motive. In other words, knowing your ‘why’. I heard a saying once that the difference between a warrior and a soldier is that a soldier fights because he hates who is front of him, but a warrior fights because he loves who is behind him. When you are reminded why you started your goal in the first place, and what you have to lose if you fail to achieve it, that is the best motivation.When you are working out, if you think of how important it is to be healthy to be around for those you love and who depend on you, it will be a lot easier to do that extra rep.
In addition to that playlist you have in your phone, on top of that speech you listen to in order to get fired up, remember to discover your motive. This will keep you going when all else fails.
Have you ever been in a situation where you seem like you just can’t take any more? We all have. You are hoping for that miracle. It could be to land that job, to win the affection of that certain someone. It might be you are wishing for a miracle healing for yourself, or a loved one. Then, the job goes to someone else. The person you like ends up having feelings for the other gender. The doctor report comes back with more bad news. It can leave you with a feeling of hopelessness. You may find yourself asking questions like, “Why me?” You have been an upstanding individual. You have been treating everyone with kindness. Why is life so difficult for you. In some cases, you may even look at the good fortune of those who you feel may not be as enlightened as yourself and wonder how fair the universe is really being.
Sometimes we are delivered from the fires of life. That is easy to recognize as a miracle. When things go how we want them to, and when we want them to, it is indeed a miracle. If things always happened this way, we would have a life of ease. This may sound like quite the miracle, but it would make us one weak person. When we feel like instead of being delivered from the fire, we are being thrown in it, we might just being fireproofed. It is rarely fun, but resistance builds strength. This is as true in life as it is in the gym. When we go through the fires of life, we are being forged into a stronger and more resilient version of ourselves.
In life, we all want the quick miracle, the quick fix. We want the job. We want the love and the healing. When we don’t get it, we cease to believe in miracles. Worse yet, many of us begin to view the world as a cruel place. This can be very dangerous. Albert Einstein, one of the smartest people to exist, was asked what the most important question to ask was. His answer? “Is the Universe a friendly place?” The reason this is so important is because it will dictate our attitude and actions towards living our life. Shakespeare, a rather brilliant writer, also weighed in on the subject saying, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” In other words, it is more about how we look at the situation than the fact themselves that determine if it is good or bad.
The secret to happiness? That is a bold statement. Especially considering that happiness is different for everyone. Yet, there is a universal way to bring happiness into your life no matter who you are, or what makes you happy. Even better than that, the more you do this, the more happiness it will bring in your life! Is it swimming with pigs in the ocean like in the picture above? I recently did that on my trip to the Bahamas. It was fun, but not necessarily everyone’s secret to happiness. It is a clue as to what that secret is though.
I mentioned that I swam with pigs in the Bahamas. It happened on a trip that I took my beautiful lady on for her birthday. She had mentioned really wanting to go there, and I wanted to make her dream come true. She also thought swimming with the pigs sounded fun, so I had to find a way to add that as well. As you can see in her amazing smile, she was very happy. That, my friends, is the secret to happiness. Taking your lady on a trip to swim with the pigs in the Bahamas? Not exactly, but yes.
Bringing joy to the lives of others, especially those you really care about, is the secret to happiness. I am going to tell you why. From a scientific standpoint, studies show doing kind things for others activates the reward centers in our brain. Doing this takes our mind off of our own worries. Knowing that you brought joy to another can, and should, give you a feeling of accomplishment. That is a goal worth aspiring to and accomplishing. In today’s world, being a giver of joy is priceless. Others value someone who can give them a feeling of positivity.
You can certainly walk around doing random act of kindness and that will add joy. Do you want to do this more effectively and see quicker and more intense results? Then you need one additional skill – active listening. To listen actively means that you listen for a purpose. Like to find what would bring the biggest smile to someone’s face. In the case of my lovely Margie, that was hearing her express her desire to go to the Bahamas, and to swim with pigs. It doesn’t have to be something so grand. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be something they enjoy. This works really well if you have someone who complains a good deal. Let me explain.
When you are actively listening to discover what you can do to bring joy to someone’s life, there are two things to pay attention to. First, is rather obvious. Look for what they say they want/like. This could be wanting to try a certain restaurant or what flowers are their favorite. On the flip side, you can also listen for what they don’t like. When you hear these things, you can work on finding ways to help eliminate them. If you combine them, you have two powerful ways to bring joy to anyone. As a bonus, they will not only feel joy from the activity, but feel significant and valued because you listened to what was important to them.
I told you in the beginning of this post that the more you do this, the more happiness will fill your life. Here is why. Think what will happen the more you bring joy to someone’s life. How do you think they will view and treat you? When they see you, they will automatically feel joy just from your presence. They will want to return the favor as well. Nobody wants to feel like a taker. They will want to return that feeling of joy you give them. The more you do this for each other, the more it happens in return. Now imagine if you did this with as many people in your life as you could. This could include coworkers, retail people you encounter, store clerks, family, friends and even complete strangers. Not only will you be so busy trying to discover joy that you will have less time to focus on your worries, but you will have countless people focused on bringing you joy as well. Can you see how this could grow? The more we put out, the more we will get in return. It is like planting seeds of joy in others, allows us to harvest the joy in our own lives as well. Start planting as many seeds as you can, in as many gardens as you can, today!
Everyone would love a bonus day in their lives, wouldn’t they? How many times do you look around at everything you have to do in life and wish you just had a few more hours in they day? For most of us, that is daily. Here is a trick question. If you did have a bonus day, what would you spend it focused on? Would it be accomplishing more? Would it be resting more? Would it be focused on just doing nothing? How about focusing on joy? On bliss?
Today is leap year. It has many of us thinking of a bonus day. That is not exactly how it is, but you get the idea. Here is a fact that we often overlook. Every day is a bonus day. There are so many things that could go sideways in life and in the world that every day we enjoy with those we love is a bonus day. This may sound metaphorical, but it is not. Who is to say who will be here tomorrow and who will not. Today we are, let us make the most of it. This will mean different things to different people. Maybe completing that household chore you have been working on forever will give you joy? Then, put some time in. Maybe you need to slow down and just enjoy a little time for yourself. Don’t feel guilty, just do that.
Let leap year serve as a reminder to us that every day is a bonus day. We are not promised tomorrow, but we have been given today. Let us make the most of this beautiful bonus day!
Here is an important idea to remember. Things will be okay. This can be hard to accept or believe when we are facing difficult times. There are a million challenges that come to mind that can really try our resolve. Can you think of ones in your past that fit this description? For me, there are several that come to mind. My open-heart surgery and following trip to the hospital. People we care deeply for passing away. Car accidents, job losses. We have all had our share of very serious challenges, have we not?
Here is something to consider, you are reading this. Whatever challenge tried, and may have succeeded, in knocking you down, you are still here. Your record for facing challenges and to keep moving forward is 100%. We all have scars, we may have some pain, be it physical or emotional, that we carry with us, but we are here. That pain, and those challenges, often allow us to better relate to and comfort others going through something similar. It can give us a good story to share with and help inspire others. It can give us motivation that we have overcome a challenge. Eventually, and it may take a good amount of time, everything will be okay. Know that. Trust in that.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 