Today is an event that happens but once a year. I run a 5k. Let it be known that in no way am I a runner. Yes, I do go to the gym 3 days a week, but I look far more like the second picture than the first. My goal is always to run the 3.2 miles in less than 30 minutes. Depending on your fitness level, this could seem like nothing or an impossibility. With my asthma and over indulgence in pizza, it is at the edge of my ability. What it does do is give me a goal to push towards. I have yet to achieve it, but always try.
Here is the great thing about having this goal, and even about not achieving it. Forever am I realizing there are ways in which I can improve. Eat better, train better and find ways to improve my breathing. Still, pushing yourself can have such amazing benefits. I encourage all of us to try this. It does not have to even be something physical. It can be pushing ourselves to write 1000 words a day towards our new book. It can be forcing ourselves to clean for 30 minutes a day. Maybe reading a couple of pages every night.
Whatever seems at the edge of our ability to do, we should try to do that. It is the only way to expand and improve our life. If we constantly stay in our comfort zone, our life will not only fail to expand, but we will also never feel the pride that comes with accomplishing something we never thought we could.
This is a new quote to me, but what a great thought. If you never push yourself, you may never see what is holding you back. Not exactly sure what the percentage is, but I would wager the situations in which you, and your thoughts, are your strongest chains is above 90%. There are many times that I am looking to do something I have never done before and the reasons are often clouded over in my mind. This is why it is so important to surround yourself with people who will help improve your life, as we noted last post.
In my life, there have been many examples of chains that I have let hold me back. We all have them. What often surprises me is how often these chains exist in my own mind and manifest themselves as something else. I consider myself a fairly introspective individual, but we all tell ourselves little white lies to stay in our comfort zones. This is what our brains are hard-wired to do. Your mind does not want you to risk doing something that would be uncomfortable, even if it would further your life. We may believe the obstacle is outside of us, when it is really our beliefs that are keeping us from moving forward.
Let me give you 2 quick examples in my own life. I was preparing to do my first ever book signing. I was nervous as it was my first book, not to mention first book signing. It was in the sunny village of Greendale. I was going to put up flyers in some of the shops to promote it. I figured there were 2 or 3 businesses that would let me do that. With me I had this attractive lady I just started dating. She informed me that we were not going to the shops that I was sure would let me put up the signs, but we were going to ask in all of them. Informing her that is not how this small village worked, she informed me that I was just being too nervous to do so. She even promised to go in and ask for me to prove that more places would hang up one of my signs than I expected. Little did I know at the time this would consist of her getting the attention of an employee, shoving me forward and exclaiming, “This man has something to ask you.” As it turned out, all but 2 of the businesses, whom I should note are no longer in business, agreed to put one of my flyers in their windows. Proving it was my fear and not the businesses that prevented the promotion.
Another example is when I was going to start my podcast (Living the Dream with Neil Panosian) which you can find on all of your streaming platforms. Every time that I had coffee with my good friend Nick, I would tell him how I was going to start this podcast. He informed me that I had been telling him this for six months. I explained how I did not have the equipment, know exactly how to go about starting one or promote one. He countered that one is able to learn all of these things on this wonderful thing we have called the internet. Great things about friends, they call you on your B.S. when you are full of it, as Michael Franti says. Again, an assist to Margie who reminded me how right Nick was.
In our lives, it is often when we push outside our comfort zones that we realize there are chains holding us back. It can take some introspection to discover what they truly are. It may also take some hard truth from a close friend. We must keep our minds open and be honest with ourselves if we hope to free ourselves from our chains. What are some of your chains holding you back and how can you free yourself from them?
We have been advocating staying present on this site so much lately it runs the risk of becoming too familiar. Before you are tempted to dismiss this as just another post about living in the moment, I encourage you to read on. In sales, they tell you to speak about the benefits of a product before the features or the price. In other words, you paint a picture of how life will be better for your prospect before you tell them what they are getting. That is what we are doing with today’s post.
Have you ever had a day where despite challenges, you still seem to be feeling amazing and able to make it through the day with a smile? I am sure most of us have had a day like that. We have also had the opposite. Where even if things seem to be turning out well, we still don’t feel the amount of joy we should. How many of us stop and ask ourselves why this happens? Figuring out the question to this will help make our lives infinitely more full of joy, but how many of us actually do this? When we feel sick to our stomach we will spend the rest of the day analyzing what we ate to the smallest ingredient. Should we not to the same to what brings us joy?
It can be impossible to note every single detail that is occurring in our lives on the days we feel amazing. Not to mention, that would probably take a good deal of joy out of it. Instead, I will ask you to pay attention to just one detail – who you are around. They say you are the total of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If your life is not filled with as much joy as it could be, this might be a good spot to investigate. That is not saying it excuses our own behavior, but surrounding yourself with good people who appreciate your worth will make all of the difference.
This week, take a moment to notice how the people around you have you feeling. Are there people who just put a smile on your face being around them? There are people in my life that can have me smiling just thinking about them. That is why my screensaver is my lovely lady. Just thinking about her can bring a smile on my face. How about you? Who are the people in your life who make your life amazing just by being in it?
This post is coming out on a Sunday. By this evening many of us will begin to stress about things that really do not matter. It would serve us well to take a hard look at the list above and realize that life is a lot better than we realize. Most of us have most, if not all, of the things on that list. They may seem trivial, or be taken for granted, but imagine doing without them. Each one is a huge blessing.
In a time when the world is facing war and genocide, many would give anything to have this complete list. Most of what we stress about is really not that pressing. Money can be made and lost. Jobs can come and go. The things that really matter are important to recognize and be grateful for. Do this and your week will be off to a wonderful start.
It never fails to surprise me how many people understand how important it is for a child to be surrounded by positive, nurturing people, but fail to see that it is equally important for adults as well. As we continue to make our way through this journey called ‘life’, stresses continue to mount and our responsibilities continue to grow. It seems more challenging to make friends as adults. That is why it is so critical that we surround ourselves with a healthy circle of quality people.
As adults, we also need to learn the skill of leaning on our village of friends. Asking for help is viewed by many as a weakness. It is no more of a weakness to ask help from a friend in dealing with a stressful situation than it is to ask a mechanic for help with an automotive issue. It is equally important to be a village for others who may be struggling too. Be a good fried. Listen to hear and understand, not just reply. One of the best things to do is to get together regularly with friends to share and enjoy each other’s company. The world does get busy, but this is one activity we cannot go without.
Start building your village today. Already have one? Remember to spend a little more quality time in it. Share moments with friends. Be that village for someone else as well. Schedule regular days of fun with friends. It will save your sanity and just might save your life.
I have written about this in the past, and even done a YouTube video about it. (check out my channel at Neil Panosian) It is so important it needs repeating. Do you want a life that is better than most? Do you want to live a life that is filled with more happiness than most? Than decide to! This really shouldn’t be a secret, but for some reason it remains so to many.
When you ask most people if they are going to have a good day, they respond by telling you they do not know. Maybe they even are cautious and say, “We will have to wait and see?” Wait for what? If you are waiting to see if the world and the people in it will cooperate with you so that your day can be good, most of the time you will be disappointed. That means most of the time you will not be happy. That is how the majority of people on the planet live their life. They leave their happiness up to circumstances beyond their control.
What can we do to take back control from those circumstances and begin to choose to have a happy day? Let us look at what most people do when they start their day. Many lament the sound of the alarm, and often hit snooze so they can experience it yet again. They look at their phone and see what drama others in their life may have. They may even, if they are of the less informed, watch the news to discover all that is wrong with the world. Then, they ‘fight traffic’, go to a job they have been dreading and do the same on the way home. That is not the formula for a happy day.
Our goal is to pick rituals and an environment where a great day can’t help but blossom. What does this include? That is really up to you. It can be having inspiring things attached to your mirror like the lady in the picture above. It can be thinking of three things you are grateful for before you get out of bed. Listen to something inspiring on the way to work. That way, if you get stuck in traffic it is just more inspiration. Will this make all of your days sunshine and rainbows? Of course not. Starting the day with an intention and determination for happiness does a lot more than leaving it up to chance.
How about you? What will you do to create a great day instead of leaving it up to chance? What rituals or environment to you have that helps start your day in the right direction? Please share with us so we can all benefit. If you are so inspired, click the link below to check out my YouTube video I filmed years ago on this very subject.
This quote is a great reminder in a world focused on material and status accomplishment. While that is great, it is what you have gone through to get there that is impressive. Your persistence in accomplishing your goal is what makes you who you are. Trying to eat better and accidentally slip and fall and a doughnut lands in your mouth? That could be enough for most people to beat themselves up and go back to eating junk. If you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and grab a salad for lunch, you are my kind of hero.
Please do not under value the fortitude it takes to keep pushing after a setback. It is something that defines character, internal strength and gives us the ability to handle difficulty in the future. If you have ever fallen and got back up, remember you are the hero. You deserve the glory. Keep fighting. It is within that fight that the glory lives.
Today’s post is a combination of a lot of great sources. It also contains one of the great secrets to turn your life from one you just have, to one you love. If you are looking for more of these, my book Living the Dream, is full of them. I will leave a link for it at the end of the post. What is great about this strategy is that it is free, anyone can do it, and the more upside down your life seems to be, the better it will work for you. All that is required is a single change in perception. While this is certainly simple, it takes a bit of practice to get the hang of.
The first source of inspiration was my mother. After a nice 3 mile walk through the park, as seen above, we stopped to enjoy an iced coffee. While relaxing and taking in some sun, she mentioned this plaque she had seen. It mentioned something about turning your challenges into blessings. I fail to remember the exact words. This is the great secret. Do not be tempted to discount such a powerful tool. By seeing what we often think of as challenges in life as the blessings they often are, it can change our entire emotional state.
As we discussed this subject, more examples jumped into my mind. This also shows my interest in a vast amount of subjects, but that is for another post. First was Bishop T.D. Jakes. I enjoy a lot of his thoughts, and am currently in the middle of reading one of his books. He said that a lot of people do not open the gifts God has given them because they do not like the wrapping paper. Ponder that for a second. How many times in our life do we reflect on what seems to be a challenge, or even a tragedy, and realize without it, we would not have received some very important good things? To further accent the point, some lyrics also popped into my head. Michael Franti sings a great song called Work Hard and Be Nice to People. One of the lyrics from that song states, “Take all of the lessons, add a little love and turn them into blessings.” With a little love, any situation can be used to help both us and the world around us.
The last example that came to my mind was that of David Blair. He was a British merchant seaman in the early 1900s. He was going to get a big pay day by being part of a crew on a new ship’s first voyage. At the last minute, another ship owned by the same company was held over for repairs. The crew from that ship was transferred to Blair’s ship and our good friend David was told to stay home. He was very mad that he was going to miss the prestige, the pay day and the experience of sailing on this ship. He was stuck on land. The ship he got kicked off of at the last moment? The Titanic. 1500 people lost their life on that ship and no doubt David Blaine would have been one. What looked like bad luck ended up saving his life.
As we can see in these examples, what often seems like misfortune can turn into some of the greatest blessings in our life. We cannot often see it at the time, but it pays to ask the question, “What is the blessing in this challenge?” it can turn the event around, turn your day around and turn your life around. Here is one final example about how bad luck can be good fortune generations later. My Great-grandmother was scheduled to sail over to America on the Titanic. For some reason that has been lost to time, she was unable to. No doubt disappointed at the time, it saved her life. That in turn allowed my life to be and you to be reading this post right now. How many challenges in your life have turned out to be blessings?
We discussed a few posts ago how chasing happiness is a fool’s errand. The comparison was of chasing a butterfly. It will only fly away. If you create an environment where a butterfly would like to be you will attract one to you. Same with happiness. It isn’t about finding it somewhere outside of you. It is not in the new car, the new house or even the new relationship. How many people do we hear of who have all of these and are still not happy. Instead of chasing these things, we would be better off creating and cultivating an environment where happiness flourishes.
How do we create our own ‘happiness garden’ to stick with the metaphor? Above are 5 great ideas to start with. Freeing our hearts of hatred we are holding on to certainly helps. It is impossible to feel both hatred and happiness at the same time. Not to mention, hatred is extremely bad for our health. The same can be said for worry. There was a study showing that 98% of everything we worry about is beyond our control or completely unnecessary. Why not spend that moment focused on gratitude? Live simply is another great way to create happiness. The less we require to be happy, the more likely we are to be so. A pretty simple equation. Give more. Giving really can be a secret to happiness. Giving not only brightens the day of the person you are giving to, but yours as well. That is a win/win situation. Those kinds of situations certainly create happiness. Expecting less, much like living simply, increases our chances of being happy.
Stop chasing happiness and focus on creating an environment where happiness flourishes. Try these 5 items to start. If you have any other suggestions, please share them in the comments below. Any ‘gardening tips’ for happiness will be appreciated by all.
Today is a rare and pleasant day. The sun is shining, there is a slight breeze and the world seems relaxed. I decided to venture out to a local coffee shop. I had planned to write blogs as I was due to create more. As I pulled up to the coffee shop, and with some urging from a conversation with my mother earlier, I decided to do a little light reading first. I am in the middle of a great book by Bill Bryson. I enjoy his offerings, even though he has never thanked me for the book I have sent him. Here is something crazy, I rarely do this.
Why is sitting out on a sunny day with a good book such a rare thing for me? It is too expensive. The cup of coffee is roughly $3. It includes a free refill making each cup only $1.50. The book was a gift, so that was not much at all. Why do I say it is so expensive? See if this sounds familiar to you. As I sat down to do something for simply pleasure, in this case reading, all of the things I needed to do popped into my head. I needed to write blogs. I needed to work on my fourth book. The house needs attending to. Just sitting and reading almost made me feel guilty. I was doing so at the expense at all of the things that I needed to accomplish.
Here is what is important to remember – you need moments like this. Just as you need diet and exercise to feed your body, and you need reading and learning to feed your mind, you also need simple pleasures to feed the spirit. If you are still feeling guilty, let me tell you something else that you can do while experiencing these simple pleasures. In our busy world, taking time for simple pleasures can seem like quite a luxury. Another thing that can seem impossible in our busy world is being present. This is extremely important to do while taking time to enjoy simple pleasures. If you just want to sit and listen to music, do that. Hear the music, feel the music. Do not fill your head with all of the thoughts that you have about what needs to be done, or problems in your life. Be present for your simple pleasures. Above is a list of simple pleasures for you to enjoy. Think about how you can be present and totally enjoy these brief vacations of the spirit in an otherwise chaotic world.
If taking a few moments for yourself makes you feel guilty, it may be a sign that you need to do it more. Remember, you are still doing some very important things while you are taking time for yourself. You are feeding your spirit. That is one third of your total being. You are also taking a moment to be totally present and that is a very valuable skill in today’s world. Pick a few of the items that speak to you off of the list above and give yourself some moments of simple pleasure today.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 