Tag: Neil Panoisan

THE POWER OF THE TONGUE 👅

Despite what many of you might have guessed by this post’s title, it is not some sensual endeavor I have tried with Margie. Some people think it is about the tongue being the most powerful muscle in the body. It is not. That is actually the jaw muscle. What this quote from the Bible tells us, is that we have a power that we can literally save or end lives with. It is a power that can propel us forward or hold us back. This power can start revolutions and war, or it can make someone fall in love with us. The surprising thing about this power is that we all have it. The crazy thing is that most of us use it without much thought. Some even use it with no thought at all. Can you imagine how dangerous it would be to use something so powerful with such indiscretion?

The power that we are talking about, and the power in this quote, is that of the words we choose. Think of the strangers we encounter throughout the day. We can only judge their mood by their outward appearance. As we have seen all to often, a smile can hide a world of pain. Perhaps that lady taking our order at the coffee shop is thinking of taking her own life. What difference do you think a genuine compliment can make? What if we scream at her for ten minutes because we got 5 ice cubes instead of 4? We could move her further away from the edge or push her over. We may never know. Speeches throughout history have inspired wars and people to rise up in revolution. A poem or a well thought out card can swoon the person of our dreams. Even a heart-warming text can transform someone’s day.

Each one of us have tremendous power in the words we speak. Even our inner-dialogue can go a long way to defining our self-image. We must take control of this great power we have and use it for good. How do you use the power of your words for good?

HOW TO CONDUCT YOURSELF THIS WEEK

This is an awesome way to not only approach the week, but life in general. It appears they didn’t call Ol’ Alex great for no reason. There are two parts of this to unpack, and they are really not all that different. Let us take a look at them one at a time.

The first part of the quote is to conduct ourselves that all men (people) wish to be our friend. This is an interesting task. When you think of the wide array of people in the world, how can everyone want to be your friend? That is next to impossible. What is possible is to adopt characteristics and live in such a fashion that any decent person would want to associate with us. I like to call it the ‘John Wayne way of living’. In the movies, Mr. Wayne always played an honest, straight forward man. A man who always did his best to do the right thing. How close the real John Wayne was to this character is up for debate, but does not really matter here.

What do you think are some universally admirable characteristics? Honesty for one. Even if you disagree with someone, if they know that you will tell them the truth, they will respect you. Doing our best to be compassionate towards others, especially those we differ with, is one of those traits we should adopt. We never know anyone’s complete story, so we should never assume to judge them. Working to continually improve yourself is another trait that should inspire people to want to associate with you. Everyone admires someone who not only acknowledges their faults, but is actively working to improve upon them. Staying humble and kind. Keeping a positive outlook, even in tough times, allows us to be a light for others. Who wouldn’t want more light in their lives?

The second part can be taken a couple of different ways. “and fear to be our enemies” Does this mean we should threaten and make people fear us? Not at all. Here is how I see it. When you develop the traits above, the world at large will develop a positive outlook on you. Many people will be happy and honored to call themselves your friends. If someone were to talk negatively about such a person, or to attempt to spread gossip about them, who do you think would end up looking bad? It would be the person doing the gossiping about a person that most people hold in high regard. Therefore, the best thing you can do to have people fearing to be your enemy is to be a friend to as many good people as you can.

Adopting this way of living will allow us to chart a course that will end in a life well lived. We will have blessed the lives of many while we are here and our memory will live on long after we are gone.

THE FALL BEGINS 🍁

Do you know that feeling when you are on the top of the rollercoaster and it is just about to drop down? You know you are just seconds from having your stomach temporarily relocating in your throat. This is the same feeling I get when fall comes. I know we are only a short time away from freezing temperatures and nasty driving conditions. I am doing my best to find creative ways to embrace the cooler weather, but on any given day I would rather be sitting on a beach under a palm tree. Still, my beautiful lady loves fall. We are even planning a fall wedding in the future. I am going to have to learn to like it. Although, celebrating our anniversary in the Maldives would not be a bad plan.

The reason I bring this up, is that we all have challenges in life. It is our perception of them that determines their degree of difficulty. I know this intellectually. It is time I start applying it emotionally. Therefore, I have decided to be grateful for the cold weather. When I made this decision, a lot of positive things about that season came to mind. I tend to stay home more. For me, this means more time with the most beautiful woman in the world (I might be biased) and delicious meals she creates. It gives me time to write more. There is no better way to strengthen our resolve than when it is challenged. It is easy for me to be happy sitting under that palm tree, but what about when it is below zero and I have a snow shovel in my hand?

Will this have me looking forward to the temperatures dropping? Not at all. What it will do is strengthen my ability to find what I should be grateful for in any situation. It will allow me to finally complete my fourth book. We will reach the milestone of 1000 days straight putting out content. Whatever is challenging you in your life, find ways to put it to work for you. I would love to hear how all of you do this.

UNIQUE IS BETTER THAN BEST

This quote pretty much explains itself, but let us take a little deeper dive into it. So many of us are trying to be the best at something. That is good. Improvement in one’s life is a virtue. What we often fail to understand, is that being the most authentic version of ourselves will put us in our own unique category. In addition, if we truly want to be the best, we need to feel free to be ourselves.

Being ourselves should be one of the easiest things we do. Unfortunately, it is not. In a world that is pushing you to conform, being yourself can be viewed as an act of rebellion. It is easier to not ‘ruffle any feathers’ and do what is expected of us. That way everyone is happy, right? Wrong. We are not happy. When the world is full of people who do not feel free to be themselves, and are frustrated with the person they feel they have to be, bad things can happen. In the best case, they do not treat people as nice as they could. They also do not bring as much joy as they could, because they are not happy with themselves.

This is why it is so important to surround ourselves with people who love us for who we, while encouraging us to become better versions of ourselves. You may wish to be like that stunning actress or talented ball player. Do you know what they could never be? You! It is you the world needs. You are the only person who can be you. It is that you who might be needed to inspire, encourage or motivate someone. They might only respond to your voice, to who you are. Trust me when I tell you that the best thing you can become is who you truly are.

LOVE OF FATE ❤️

Depending on its use, one phrase that can drive me crazy is, “It is what it is.” This is true in some regards which we will get to later. When used as an excuse not to take any action to change how it is, that drives me crazy. The only thing worse is people who constantly complain about their circumstances and expressing their desire that they were different. This takes away valuable time from making the most of them.

On a personal level, I was born with a few health challenges. I have asthma. This prevents me from doing some of the physical activities as good as I would like. I have a deformed heart that I was born with. This not only forces me to take a few more precautions that the average person, I also have to be routinely tested. Neither of these did I contribute to. They came with birth. Many people tell me how sad and unfair that is. In this case, I do say “It is what it is.” Nothing will change the fact that I cannot breathe that well or that I get nervous every time I have a pain in my chest.

That was the fate I was born into. I can choose to despise it, or I can love it. Why on earth would I love the fact that I was born with these issues? One, it helps me relate to others who have these, and other, medical conditions. It also motivates me to take as good of care of my physical health as I can. On the days when going to the gym does not sound like the best idea, I think about the fact I could die. When I don’t want to do cardio, I know the more I work my lungs, the better they will function. Not to mention, I have no urge at all to start smoking. If I didn’t have asthma, sometime along my 23 year journey of bartending or my time singing in a band, I would have picked the habit up.

When it comes to the life we are dealt, there is no use in crying how unfair it is. That may very well be true, but now what? If life knocks you down, that can often not be your fault. Finding a way to get back up is entirely your responsibility. Fate can be kind, it can be cruel. When we can’t control that, we can control our reaction to it.

TIME TO CLEAN… YOUR MIND 🤯

Today is Friday the 13th. Many people view this day as a scary superstition. Do you know what I think is scary? Walking around with a dirty mind. No, not that kind of dirty mind. One that is filled with negativity and unnecessary worry. We are all a little guilty of that at times. If we look around at the world we are living in, it is no wonder. News, some things on the internet, even members of our social circle can have us seeing the storm in every rainbow.

What is the big deal about having dirt in your mind? Not much if you clear it out. If left to fester long enough, like real dirt, the consequences can start to mount up. It will affect your mental health. You may find yourself more on edge. You might experience brain fog or have difficulty concentrating. This can only add to the negative experiences in your life. Keep it up long enough and you will see physical results. You will feel tired and run down. You might develop ulcers or have a depressed immune system.

How on earth can you clean your mind? It is not like you can stick a cleaning brush in your brain. Consuming any kind of bleach product is not recommend, despite what you may have heard. Above we have some really good ideas. I would like to touch on a few. I would love to hear your suggestions as well. We can all benefit from sharing our ideas.

The first is to take a hard look at your social circle. I devote an entire section to this in my book, Living the Dream. It amazes me how many people tell me social media is negative. What they see is only drama and negativity. The same is said for what they hear from people. I stare at them blankly and ask them who controls what they see on their social media page? If there are people and pages that do not bring you joy, get rid of them! Better yet, add pages that bring joy to your heart. That could be things that make you smile or even just hobbies you enjoy. As for people? Keep your circle small. If someone is a constant source of drama, limit or eliminate the time you are around them. Better yet, spend more time around people you find uplifting!

Above you will see other amazing suggestions. These range from meditating to going for a walk in nature. I would love to not only hear which one is your favorite, but if you have any suggestion or ideas which help clear your mind.

TAKE CARE OF ALL OF YOUR HEALTH 🏥

I want to talk about your health for a second. Not your physical health. Not even mental health, which finally is getting the attention it deserves. I want to talk about the health of your spirit and how important it is to pay attention to. Have you ever “Woken up on the wrong side of the bed”? You know those days you wake up feeling irritable and you might not even know why? I am sure it is a feeling we all have.

I get up for work 6 days a week at 4am. Let me tell you that I cannot recall a day I felt like jumping out of bed looking forward to going to work. For someone who loves to have a social life and enjoy time with his beautiful bride-to-be, getting up that early is quite a task. However, I also light keeping the lights on and getting gifts for the afore-mentioned beautiful lady. By the time I get to work around 5, the coffee has kicked in and I am usually in pretty good spirits.

This morning was different. I woke up and felt beyond irritable. Like I was mad at the world. This is a very rare state to find myself in. As I sat up in bed, it was apparent that something in my spirit was quite disturbed. I made a decision that I rarely, if ever, make – I called into work. I knew if I were to approach my coworkers in such a state, or if my boss made a questionable comment or decision in regards to me, I might be tempted to say or do something I would regret and be unable to take back.

I am not advocating calling in sick every time you do not feel like going to work. For the year, I believe this is only the second time I have called in sick. What I am telling you to do is to take care of your spirit. Not doing so can not only create some of the negative situations I mentioned above, but it can affect your mental and physical health as well.

THE MIRACLE IN EVERY DAY ✨️

The picture and the title of this post may seem not to go together, but they do. How can an Italian sausage be a miracle of life? While it is…and then again it isn’t. Confused yet? Let us clear all of this up and show you how every day can feel like a miracle. The Italian sausage stand pictured above exists at the Wisconsin State Fair. Anyone who knows me, or follows this blog, knows that is one of my happy places on earth. As you can see by the sign, it has been there since 1932. That is almost 100 years. The owner even wrote an amazing book about the Wisconsin State Fair. Their sausages are so delicious, that I make a point to have one at least once a year. They were available in select stores, but nothing tastes as good as having one fresh off of their unique vertical grill!

If you noticed I did you the past tense to describe their availability at the stores. The reason being is that without warning, it was announced they would no longer be in business. The family that owned, and served these delights, was calling it quits. On the second to last day of the fair, my mother and I got one to share. As we sat enjoying it together we mentioned how we must get one the next day before they were gone forever. As the next day came, Margie, my mother and I approached the stand to enjoy one last, mouth-watering Millie’s Italian Sausage. What we were told broke our hearts, they had sold out. There would be no more to be had. They had sold out in the store as well. Unknown to us at the time, that sausage we had enjoyed the night prior would be the last we would ever have.

Another owner has bought them out and will supposedly keep the same recipe, but we all know how that can go. Here is the thing, we were not expecting that to be the last one we would ever eat and would have savored it more had we known. This touching story about a man and his sausage is but merely a microcosm of the world at large. In a world of fast-paced change, so many things, and people, can be here today and gone tomorrow. Each moment is special and a miracle in its own way. When you think of how many people, places and things change, tomorrow is always new and different. That means today is always unique and a miracle.

In the United States, today we are reflecting on the terrorist events that took the lives of 3000 innocent people in 2001. None of those people expected not to make it home that day. The loved ones they left behind will remember the last moments they spent together as a miracle. It may not have been appreciated or viewed as such at the time, but that is what it was. We never know when our world will upend our lives. It happens to people every second of every day. That is why we must realize that every second is a miracle. As I sit in Starbucks writing this and sending messages to my lovely Fiancé, I realize any of these things could change. This moment is a miracle. Not to mention, my lovely lady is my little miracle. How about you? How are you appreciating all the moments that are miracles in your life?

MEMENTO MORI – A SAYING WORTH REMEMBERING 🤔

While attending a convention on ‘Oddities’, which just happens to be something I am into, I came across a saying – memento mori. I saw it on a bunch of different items and had to look it up. It is a Latin saying that translates to “Remember you must die.” Again, for many of a us death is a subject that is avoided and viewed as taboo. This is crazy to me. There are very few things which every person on this planet has in common. The need to breathe air, the need to eat and drink and, of course, the fact we will die.

To be sure, death is not a fun or enjoyable subject. It rarely, if ever, comes at a good time. All too often it comes unannounced and unexpected. What death does do that is important is that it gives such value to life. Today finds us with our 800th day in a row of having a blog. In my busy and crazy world, I can often lack the motivation to write. I think back to the now famous story of when I was waiting to have open-heart surgery. Knowing it was a dangerous and perhaps fatal surgery, it gave me a sense of urgency. That fact that I did expire briefly, also reminded me how quickly life can be taken away.

We can be reminded of this after a close call on the freeway, maybe at the funeral of someone we really care about or a few other situations. What happens is that after a while, no matter how present we try to be, we take our life for granted. “Oh not me!” I hear many of you saying. Trust me, we all do. Even myself who not only got to think about a life and death surgery for 2 months, died briefly and had to give 5 eulogies in one year, can still take life a little bit for granted. If we fully appreciated how fleeting and how precious life is, we would be walking around looking at every moment as the miracle that it is.

Does this sound like a bunch of hype? It is not. How can waiting in traffic, or the line in the store be a miracle? If you knew you were going to die in a year, a week, or maybe even tomorrow, how would that transform your wait in line? What if you knew that it might be the last time you ever waited in line? Things can change so quickly these days it will make your head spin. We will look more at that next post. Thinking that you may not be around to ‘enjoy’ many more traffic jams may sound crazy, or even morbid, but it is true and I think adds great value to our life.

An occasional reminder that your time on earth is not infinite, can go a long way to making the most of the time we spend here. If you want to know more about how to become immortal, I suggest picking up a copy of my second book, Living the Dream, and reading the section titled “Become Immortal”. As for what we can do starting today to fully appreciate the miracle of life, perhaps putting this saying in a place that will remind us daily that our end is growing sooner by the second, may go a long way. Memento Mori -Remember you must die.

KEEP ON KEEPING ON!💪

Here is a notice that I received from our wonderful friends at WordPress. That is the platform on which this site is ran. It is actually from a little bit ago. Tomorrow’s post will be number 800 in a row. That is 800 days straight that we have put out content. This is along with 55 hours a week at my day job, being a DJ on the weekend, working out 3 days a week. Oh, and yes trying to have a life and a relationship with the most beautiful woman on the planet.

Through the course of these 800 days, the number of people and followers on this page has slowly crept up. The number of countries we find ourselves viewed in is well over 200 now. What is interesting is that taken day by day, it does not seem like it is growing that much. If, however, we were to look back to 799 days ago we would see a dramatic difference. The reason that I share that with you today is that is works the same way in many areas of life. Take physical fitness for example. If you look at the changes in your body from working out 3 days a week after say 3 weeks, you would not see much of a difference. If you waited 800 days, you would see a big difference. That difference would be between day 1 and day 800. Many just look at the difference between day 799 and day 800 and decide we are not making much of an improvement.

Remember that much of the improvement in life can be gradual. It may not seem like you are making headway from day to day. Keep working. In a year you will look up to discover dramatic changes you may fail to notice if you are only looking from day to day. It is also important to remember that growth is not always linear. You can be up one day and down the next. Seldom is progress a straight line. Do not let that you become discouraged.