Tag: Neil Panoisan

THE TRUTH ABOUT FALLING IN LOVE WITH LIFE

My upcoming fourth book will revolve around the concept of falling back in love with your life. To that end, I have been spending a good deal of time thinking about just such a topic. What does falling in love with life look like, feel like and more to the point, how can we accomplish it? Falling in love with life sounds like a complex, New-age sort of goal. It really is neither. Falling in love with life is much like falling in love with a person. It is in considering this, we can answer all of the questions we asked earlier.

When you first fall in love with someone, how does it feel? Like you are walking on clouds. Nothing they do really bothers you… that much anyway. As time goes on, you have your little disagreements. Maybe even a few big ones too. Without realizing it, the hurts and disappointments mount. Not only in your partner, but in yourself as well. Asking yourself why you said or did that stupid thing that hurt your partner. Soon, little things that you didn’t even notice tend you drive you crazy. The more this happens, the more crazy you get. It can be like a snowball rolling downhill.

If this is true, and we all know it is, how does any relationship last? Even more to the point, how do some maintain that love and even grow? It would seem impossible looking at the facts we explored above. The truth is hard for many to take, and too hard for some to do. The truth is falling in love is work. No matter how amazing your partner is, and believe me I have the best, it takes work. Those disappointments must be balanced with moments of care and compassion. We must work on controlling our emotions and proper and healthy communication. We must not only accept our mistakes in learning, but those of our partner. In striving to be better, we will slip on occasion. Growth is never linear. In addition to acceptance, we must learn from them. Every painful lesson has in it the seed of greater understanding and growth.

How do you know if you are succeeding and growing? Do you find yourself arguing about the same things over and over? Are your disagreements more frequent? Then you have some work to do. This work takes years and involves much pain and uncomfortable moments. Why would anyone go through that? The reward is worth far more than the struggle. Being with someone who can not only still make you feel like you are walking on clouds, but has the knowledge of your past hurts and mistakes and still loves you is on another level. Learning and developing yourself is a process that positively affects everything in your life, including your relationship. Look at the photos of my lady and I above. They are 5 years apart and the love has only grown.

Falling in love with life is much the same as falling in love with another person. At first, when we are children every bit of life is a miracle. As we get older, more challenges arise. The hurts we experience tend to mount up. Life can end up seeming like a chore or a job. How can we maintain our love of life, like we do in our relationship? By using the same tools. Yes, there will be the same challenges. We will have moments of doubt. There will be lessons that are uncomfortable to learn. We will have to confront and fix things about ourself that we may not like to. We must work hard to change our mindset. Changing our focus from what is wrong to what is right. That does not mean denying some things need work. No, it means seeing those things as opportunities instead of challenges or failures. It also means spending time focusing on the miracles of life. All of the blessings we take for granted.

Reading this, it may sound like a new-age nonsense advice column, but it is the truth. Feeling like life is a miracle and everyday is an opportunity verses like life is a battle or a job makes all of the difference. Which one do you currently feel? What could you do to change that perception? Falling back in love with your life takes a lot of work, but the payoff is worth far more. The more effort you put in, the greater the return. You only get one life, why not work to enjoy it to the fullest?

WISDOM IS NOT BY CHANCE.

I like this quote. It is as simple as it is profound. A lot of us are beginning to think of what we would like to improve about ourselves in the coming year. Without a good plan of action, many of the goals are merely wishes. You could replace ‘wisdom’ with whatever word you are looking to develop. It could be ‘health’ ‘compassion’ or any other quality worth developing in the new year.

Self-improvement always sounds like a good idea when you are sitting at home on a nice sunny day. “Sure, I will eat better, exercise and improve my mind in the coming year.” You say to yourself as you sit in your sunny kitchen sipping your morning coffee. What happens when you have had a tough day at work, you have to drive home in a winter storm only to discover that your spouse is upset because you came home late. Are you still going to think about how to constructively communicate all of the challenges you faced during the day and why they made you late? It would be a lot easier to snap and feel justified doing so.

What few realize is that self-improvement is not a glamorous road filled with sunshine and rainbows. It is often a gritty, painful transition to a better version of yourself. This includes admitting your wrong, confronting your inner demons and putting in lots of effort often filled with mistakes. It takes a strong belief in who you will become through this effort and a resilience to see it through. This is not easy. It can often leave you in a world of doubt and fear. You doubt if you made the right decision to embark on this journey. You doubt if you have the strength to see it through. You are afraid that you do not.

What eventually happens is that you discover strength that you never knew you had. You learn skills and fortitude that you never knew were inside you. Eventually you become a person far better than you ever thought was possible. The best part? You can use your journey to credibly mentor and help others on their journey. Self-improvement, like wisdom and life in general, is nothing that happens by chance. We must make a commitment and be resolute in our actions. The result is a life, and a person we can be proud of.

GIVE IT UP IN THE NEW YEAR!

With the New Year almost upon us, many are contemplating what resolutions to endeavor on. Personally, this should happen more than once a year, but for many self-improvement is not something that they think about until the end of the year. When people do think of New Year’s resolutions, many think in terms of what they can add to their lives. Is it a new workout routine? Is it a healthier diet? Is it being kinder and more understanding?

All of those are great ambitions, but they all come with a prerequisite. In order for us to add a new routine to our life, or a new constructive habit, we must be willing to give up the habits and mindset that has prevented us from engaging in this behavior in the first place. To use an analogy, it is like trying to sail your boat with the anchor sitting on the ocean floor. As powerful as the wind may be, you will only get so far unless you take in the anchor. Same with trying to engage in new habits. You will only get so far unless you give up the things that hold you down and hold you back.

To give a better example, let us look at the examples we stated earlier in this post. You want to start a new exercise routine. You will have to give up all of the excuses that you use to prevent you from working out. “I don’t have time.” “I am too tired.” or whatever they may be. You want to have a healthier diet? That’s great but unless you give up the Pop Tarts and Mountain Dew, you will be like that boat trying to sail with the anchor down. You want to be kinder and more compassionate? You must give up the office gossip and the temptation to talk poor about others behind their back.

When you are looking to develop a new healthy habit, ask yourself what negative habits that you have to give up in order to give yourself a much better chance of success. In addition, you will see results a lot quicker if you both give up the negative and add the positive.

50 YEARS TOWARDS A LEGACY 😊

Today is a momentous day! I turn the big 5-0. People have been asking me how it feels to turn 50. To be honest, it feels surreal. Certainly, it does not feel like I am reaching a milestone. To me, especially after my brief flirtation with death, life should be lived daily. To look back and think that I have been on this planet for half of a century does seem incredible. There are so many milestones that have yet to be reached. Marriage will arrive in 2027 to my beautiful Margie. Still looking to retire to a warm climate. Heck, I am still looking to retire. Have not made the best-seller list yet but book four will be arriving soon.

The quote above is my favorite quote of all time. Every year, I learn more what it means. Sure, I understand it intellectually, but learn more about it emotionally with every experience I have. Being the change you want to see in the world means different things to different people. To me, it means changing the world in the only way we are able, that is by changing ourselves. When my journey into self-improvement began it was with a wish that the world was a more positive place. As we sit here on the 29th of July in 2025, we have a long way to go to meet that end. Do you know what is positive? My world! As mentioned, I have what is to me the most beautiful and loving woman in the world. I have great friends and family who lend me support.

The way that my world has improved is by following one of my new favorite quotes, which is the one by Marcus Aurelius. Being a good man, or woman, means treating others with dignity and respect. It means living with honesty and integrity. When you live like this, others respect you and start treating you with kindness and compassion. Life really is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It has taken me 50 years to figure much of this out, but I am going to share as much of it as I can, to as many as I can, so all may learn what it has taken me a lifetime to learn.

As birthdays seem to add up, you can’t help but think of the legacy you are leaving behind. To me the best legacy is one of good character and example. Sharing the knowledge and experiences you have gone through. Learning from the pain and the growth it has forced you to endure. By sharing this with others it also gives purpose to your pain, making it a little easier to make it through. At 50 I have made through many loses and struggles. Still have many more to make it through. Each one, I ask myself, “How can I use this to serve others?” It has help me make through being one of the first people in my state to get Covid. (Did a series of YouTube videos to help others be less afraid) Margie reminded me to use it during my heart surgery to help others who may have to go through the same in the future. I wrote an entire book about the experience called The Beat Goes On.

How about you? On your next birthday whether it has a 0, a 5 or any other number after it, will you be any closer to the legacy you want to live? I will be releasing my fourth book this year. Today I also started the third season of my podcast, Living the Dream with Neil Panosian, on YouTube. Feel free to check that out. I also have another project that will be starting this year that I think you all will love. I continue to find ways to share knowledge with and inspire others. The sand in the hourglass continues to fall and time draws short. This only increases my sense of urgency. I hope it will do the same for you. I would love to hear what legacy you hope to leave behind. You can pick up any of my books, including the one mentioned in this post, at the link below.

www.amazon.com/author/neilpanosian

THE BEST FEELING IS A STEP 🚶‍♀️

Today, as this post is released, is a Sunday. Most people use this as a day of rest, or a day of worship. Both amazing things to dedicate a day to. Every Sunday night, many people start feeling a familiar knot in their stomach. That dread of another work week approaching. How can we finally get rid of that feeling for good? It starts the day before. It starts on Sunday.

One way to start feeling good is to take that first step. The step towards living the life of your dreams. It could be setting up a savings account. One way is to begin typing words on that book you have always wanted to write. They don’t have to be the perfect words. Trust me when I tell you as a three time author, they may not even end up in the book at all. It is in taking the action that you get that feeling. Motion equals emotion. Yes, it feels great to be on the top of the mountain, but do you know what else feels great? Taking the first step in climbing that mountain. Knowing you are on your way to accomplishing something great.

One of the areas that people overlook is the first step in a journey. It could be the journey of becoming a better spouse or parent. It could be the journey of becoming healthier or more full of inner peace. These are journeys that do not have a finish line, or a top of the mountain to reach. Knowing that you have taken the first step on a life-long journey that will positively transform your life is an amazing feeling. What action can you take today to begin a positive journey?

WE NEED TO LOOK AT THIS AGAIN 🧐

If the world can be summed up in one word right now, that word might be division. It is no wonder as there are many people who would benefit by having us working against each other and not paying close attention to what they are doing. People working together and having meaningful dialogue can pretty much solve most problems without the interference of some form of leadership. So, to keep their positions of power, they do their best to convince us that we are all evil. That is simply not so. While it is true there are people whose intent and motives are of the more questionable nature, I think if you look hard enough you will find them in all groups.

The picture above demonstrates a very important point when it comes to the faith we follow. There are many examples where I am hearing people belittle other faiths. These comments come not only from the congregation, but from behind the pulpit as well. As you can see by glancing the picture above, we all have some pretty basic things in common. One day I may very well write and entire book on the subject. Sure, some of the finer points we disagree on, but that should not stop us from pursuing peace and compassion in a world so bereft of it.

How many more problems could we solve if we focused more on what we had in common and were more accepting of what makes us different? People are good and people are not so good. Being a member of a certain group, faith or ethnicity does not make that so. It is what is in their heart, the words they speak and the actions they take.

MAYBE THAT IS WHAT HEAVEN IS 😇

By now everyone should know that I am a big fan of Mr. Rogers. This quote is a great example why. If you were to stop and think about it, the quality of our life is the quality of our relationships. Think of how much your life is turned upside down when there is a level of discord with someone you care about. On the opposite side, when your relationships are going strong, life is all but unstoppable. Think of when you first fall in love. Nothing seems to bother you or is able to bring you down. There is more on how to maintain that feeling in my upcoming book.

This post is about the blessing that Margie and I have about discovering and maintaining some amazing relationships. This post is actually about one of those relationships in particular. During our time as DJs, we meet a wide array of people. Being the setting that takes place in, most of those relationships do not go much beyond that interaction. Lately, there are, as we are fortunate to have, relationships that blossom into more. People that life puts in your path at the right time and for the right reasons. This is about two of those people – Tanya and Montell.

My only recollection of the first time they came to one of our shows was Margie asking them, “Can we keep you?” Not only are they both very talented singers, but we could just tell they were amazing people as well. Little did we know how right you are. Let us start with Tanya, as it is always gentlemanly to let the lady go first. Tanya has a voice that just won’t quit. It is powerful but full of soul and emotion. Everyone gets excited when she walks in because they know that they are in for a great performance. Being a phenomenal singer is one thing, but in my estimation, that is not the best thing about Tanya.

They were kind enough to invite us over to their house to celebrate Labor Day with them last year. Tanya was the perfect hostess. Their family and friends they had over were all so kind and welcoming. One of the things that we enjoy most about Tanya is the way she can share a story. She uses the perfect blend of honesty and emotion. Her sense of humor and laughter is contagious. In a world where people can show you the side of themselves they think you want to see, Tanya is brave enough to show you her true self. That is so refreshing. She also encourages everyone around her. With her talent it could be tempting to look down on those who may struggle to carry a tune in a bucket. Not Tanya. She encourages them, sings with them and makes them feel welcome, like they belong.

Reading the words above, you might find yourself saying, “That Tanya sure sounds like an amazing woman.” You would be right. It might even be intimidating to be with such an amazing lady, if you were not equally as amazing. That leads us to Tanya’s husband, and I am honored to say our friend, Montell. Let us begin by discussing his ability in the vocal arena. Montell can sing just about any genre. Not only can he do it, but he does it extremely well. More than just vocals, he gets everyone involved. If you are not having a good time while he is singing, he will encourage you until you do. Trust me when I tell you with his enthusiasm and energy, it is very difficult to not be in an amazing mood. Much like his wife, people get excited when they see Montell walk in because they know he is going to lift their spirits.

If I had to pick one word to describe Montell, it would be generous. For simple starters, every time I see this young man, he offers me a beer. We happen to drink the same beer. The fact that he remembered that and brings me over one is very kind indeed. That is not the sole reason that I choose that word for this gentleman. I mentioned earlier how they were kind enough to invite Margie and I over. His generosity with sharing his talent when it comes to preparing amazing food still has my mouth watering when I think of it. On the microphone and in the kitchen are not the only two places this man is both talented and generous. Montell is also one of the kindest and most compassionate men that I have met in a very long time. You can see the care he exhibits toward everyone he meets. What’s more, is that when you talk to Montell you can just tell you are really being heard. In a world where everyone is trying to be heard, having someone who can truly listen is a gift beyond words. He is a kind soul, an example of what a good man should be. It would be a crime not to mention he is one of the most fashionable gents I know as well!

Margie and I are so blessed to know this loving and fabulous couple. They are great singers and performers, that is true. What is more important to us is they are also great parents to their children, great lovers to each other, great friends to all they meet, but most importantly, they are great people that the world needs more of. Today also is Montell’s birthday so Margie and I would like to send a special message of good wishes and good health on his special day. I share this story with you to both show you there still are amazing people in the world and to remind you to count your blessings of true friends. It is a gift not everyone experiences. Margie and I certainly count ourselves blessed that we know Tanya and Montell.

THAT WAS QUICK!😲

Last post to celebrate 1000 posts on this site, we discussed what actions would make the greatest difference. Two of the most important were fostering an attitude of gratitude and sowing the seeds of what you wish to reap. I have done my best to practice this is the last 1000 days. I do my best to make sure each post does a little bit to uplift, inspire and educate all of those who read it. We discussed how actions of kindness and compassion are great seeds to sow that will come back to fill your world with kindness. Little did I know that I was foretelling my future!

Margie had told me she was going to take me out to celebrate 1000 posts and my dedication to writing them everyday. Little did I know, her and my mother worked together to gather some of my closest friends to help me celebrate. I could not have been happier. Last post I discussed the importance of making sure you surround yourself with great people that will encourage you and lift you up. I certainly have! What a great blessing all of these friends are!

I also had a separate section to say how grateful I was for Margie and how much she has added to my life. This is one example where I was overwhelmed with love and appreciation. Not only did she have me feeling these emotions, but her, along with our friends and family, have me excited to bring my fourth book to publication. Last post was advice to plant seeds of kindness and compassion. It was a reminder to surround yourself with amazing people. Today is evidence and proof that it does indeed come back to you. With abundance at that. I am so grateful for everyone that came out, or sent their thoughts and wishes last night!

WE DID IT!!! 1000 DAYS IN A ROW!🥳😛🎉🎆🪅

Today is a big day here at Secret2anamazinglife.com! We are celebrating posting inspiring and useful content for 1000 days in a row. It took a second to decide what I was going to post on this momentous day. After all, it is one of the biggest milestones we have celebrated since reaching 10 years of content back in 2022. The idea came to me while thinking about one of my favorite inspirations, Earl Nightingale. In his autobiography, he discusses what inspired him to write The Strangest Secret, his most famous work. His thought train was, “What if I only had a short time to live? What words of advice would I give my children?” It is with this mindset that I put forth these words today.

I began to think what words would I share if I only had a short time to live. Having actually gone through that helps a little. Sitting down with a nice cup of coffee, I began to toss that thought around in my head. This is what Earl did as well before he wrote that powerful work mentioned earlier. What came to my mind is the first quote attributed to Gandhi. It is my favorite quote and one I would want the world to focus on. It would seem a thought we are drifting further away from. Rather than focus on who is to blame for all the ills of the world, or complain about them, we should be focused on the solution. I have never found blame and complaining to be part of any worthwhile solution. What is the solution? It is a simple and easy formula we have heard a million times but seldom do we really ponder it’s power in changing our world. “As you sow, so shall you reap.”

This idea was the main motivation for starting this website. Firmly believing that if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. My lament back in 2012, when I started this site, was that there was too much negativity in the world. It seemed everywhere I looked negativity was there. Little did I know by 2025, you didn’t even have to look, it finds you! Delivered to our phones, our laptops, and our mailboxes. It comes through our email, our coworkers and often through the mouths of family and friends. Do you know what complaining about all of this negativity does? Add one more negative thing to the pile! The following year, while pursing writing my first book, I was introduced to the quote, “Better to light a single candle than curse the darkness.” What you are reading is my candle. We had lit 1000 in a row!

The key to all of this was taking action. Recently, I have really come to admire the philosophy of Stoicism. The above quote is an example why. It is simple, to the point and action driven. I have seen people argue about what the right course of action is for hours. It is far wiser to set an example with our actions. Do you want the world to be full of good humans? (which is what I am sure Marcus Aurelius meant) The only 100% guaranteed way to make sure the world begins to have better humans is to be one. Want to help the environment? You best be recycling yourself. Let us waste no more time arguing with each other what should be done. Let us pick up the shovel of our struggle and begin to dig. People may not always listen to what you say, but they will always notice your example.

 

In this rather long quote from Mahatma Gandhi, he is basically saying the same thing. The part of the quote that states, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies of the world would also change.” In other words, if you find your world a little too negative for your liking, be as positive as you can. What you will find happening is the world returning your positivity in kind. Does that mean you will not face the occasional negative moment? Of course not. It will, however, become the exception instead of the rule. When you sow kindness and compassion, guess what you will reap? That’s right. You will reap kindness and compassion. You cannot plant an apple seed and expect a watermelon to grow from it. No more than you can expect the world to change for the better unless you change for the better. It is the simple equation of “What you sow, you shall reap.”

Today let us all work to be the change we wish to see in the world. Let us plant the seeds of change we wish to reap in the world around us. Seeds of compassion. Seeds of love. Seeds of positivity. Are you planting seeds or are you complaining and sending prayers to the devil, as Mr. Bob Marley so accurately put it?

As we here at Secret2anamazinglife.com chart our next horizon, be that 3000 total posts published, 3 years in a row posting or whatever else we come up with, We encourage you to be the change you wish to see in the world. Begin to plant those seeds that you wish to reap. Thank you for being part of our journey so far. We invite you to stick with us as we continue our work in helping the world be a better place than it was yesterday.

😃CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT MY AUTHOR PAGE AND BOOKS😃

CLIFFSNOTES ARE GREAT, READ THE BOOK (THIS ISN’T ABOUT BOOKS)

As an author, you may be tempted to think this is a ploy to get to you buy more books. Certainly, if you would like to go on Amazon and search ‘Neil Panosian’, feel free to order away. In truth, this post has nothing to do with books at all. It has to do with people. The people in your life. Friends, loved ones and even just the people you enjoy spending time with.

In my own life, I have recently lost two people. My grandmother, who was 96 years old, and my friend Billy Spaulding, who we wrote about last post. These two are not only two entirely different people, they will serve as a great example of what we wish to discuss here today. We often have two types of relationships with people. The book version, or the CliffsNotes version. With Billy I had the book, with my grandmother, the CliffsNotes.

Above you see some very smart people with great taste in books. I hope they had the pleasure of reading the entire thing from cover to cover. When it comes to relationships, do we read from cover to cover? Here is what I mean. When we lose someone, we lose more than just that person’s physical presence in our life. We lose stories we share. We lose jokes that maybe we are the only ones to understand, or find funny. Having these to appreciate takes reading the whole book cover to cover. What is the difference and how do we go about reading these books? Let’s take a look.

My grandmother, my dad’s mother, recently passed away at the age of 96. Sadly, I can’t really share much about her as we did not spend a great deal of time together. For several years she even thought my name was Nick. Margie thought the same thing, but that is a different story. I knew her name. Spent a few moments with her and even have a few comical memories of things she did. In other words, the CliffsNotes version. Did I know her favorite flower? No. Did I know what made her laugh? Not at all.

On the opposite side of the spectrum was my friend Billy. We had spent hours discussing life and our place in it. We shared jokes, laughter and quite a few cocktails. Last post goes into this in greater detail. There is even a video of the two of us on our YouTube channel. That is reading the book version of getting to know someone. As I was laying awake unable to sleep thinking of this blog and what I was going to write, another thing occurred to me – technology. It is vital that we share with each other on as many levels as we can.

Cellphones can be linked to the decline of personal communication. They can, however, help us establish the ‘whole book’ way of remembering someone. Above are pictures of my late uncle, my cousin who passed away at the age of 22, Margie’s mom (whose birthday we celebrate today) and I, my great uncle and my grandfather. All of these people are no longer here. Many passed before cell phones were really a thing. Therefore, there is little or no audio and video of them. As I thought about people I would like to still be able to speak with, my grandfather popped into my head. My mind even strained to remember the sound of his voice. It seems unreal that there was never a video made, but you just didn’t think of those things. That is why it is important to get to know each other on the deepest level. When my young cousin passed away in a tragic accident, we were scheduled to get together and shoot a video for my YouTube channel the very next week.

The point of all of this is to create the memories now. Do not settle for surface knowledge of someone. Really get to know them. You never know when it may be your last chance to do so. If it is, do you want to be left with CliffsNotes or do you want to say you have read the whole book?