This quote really makes you think. We take for granted the space we occupy here on earth. We actually are just renting it. In time we will pass on and leave that space for someone else. This is not just in reference to our house or apartment. No, it is our career, the space we occupy in the hearts of our friends and family. There is the role we play in the community. If we stop and ponder, we need to pay for that rent. That payment, as Muhammad Ali so eloquently put it, is the service we give to others.
It has been my experience that the greater amount of service we provide for others, the greater the demand for our presence. We become more valuable and significant by serving others. This may seem counter-intuitive, but if you think about it I am sure you will find it to be true. If you wish to become more important, if you wish to command a greater amount of influence, if you want a larger social circle, all you have to do is be of greater service to your fellow humans.
How about you? What do you do to pay your rent here on earth? How to you serve others?
Have you ever dreamt that you wake up with a new talent? Maybe you can play the piano, maybe speak another language? When you went to sleep it was something you could not do, but when you wake up you are perfect at it. Have you ever heard of this happening in real life? Of course not. Which is another reason to remember that honestly, there does not have to be anything called failure. The only time we really fail is when we give up. If we haven’t given up, it isn’t failure, it is just a lesson we have learned. Like playing the piano, where we might hit a wrong note more often than a right one, or speaking a new language when we accidentally call someone a pig when we just meant to say hello. We will make mistakes along the way.
This is far easier to understand intellectually than emotionally. I get that. In fact, I am one of the people who really hate to look foolish at anything. Luckily, I always have a beautiful woman to remind me I am learning and to cheer me on along the way. We must learn to be our own cheerleaders, however. We must also find a way to remind ourselves we are learning and not failing. How would you do this? I am open for suggestions.
This picture came up in my Facebook memories from 12 years ago. What a different lifetime ago that was! I had not even met the love of my life yet. I was also an entirely different person. I have learned and grown so much in the last 12 years, I would not even recognize myself in the mirror if I were to look back. This made me think of the difference in what syndrome they might name after me now verses then. It is an odd and somewhat humorous way to look at things, but it could really serve us.
How about you? What characteristics do you think people think of when you pop in their mind? Are they positive? Are they negative? If it is the former, keep it up! If it is the latter, you know what to do, change them! Do you have some qualities that you would hope that people would associate to you? If so, just start working to embody those very traits more often. Personally, I would like people to think of someone who encourages and empowers others when I come into their mind. Therefore, in the new year I am going to do my best to live those qualities. How about you? What traits do you think you are an example of? What traits would you want to be?
We have all been here, have we not? You are working towards a goal and it seems nothing is happening. I certainly can relate. I am sure you can too. Even though it may not seem like anything is happening, there is much going on that we cannot see. Even the strengthening of character that is coming with the patience waiting to see progress. More often that not, when we look back we realize that we could not have accomplished what we did without the progress that was happening that we did not see.
It reminds me of the growth of the bamboo tree. Once a bamboo is planted, it must be watered and taken care of every day for five years. If it is not, it will die. During those five years, nothing visible happens. If you didn’t know better, you might think the seed was no good. Once is does start growing, however, it can grow up to three feet…a day! This can be like our goals we are working for. It can see nothing is happening, but if we do not continue to work nothing will happen. If we persevere, one day our growth will explode. Keep this in mind as you continue to strive towards your goals.
As the holidays get into full swing, our calendar becomes full. We are running around shopping for others. Perhaps we are at home cooking for others. There are still the usual commitments on top of that. What gets lost in the shuffle is time for ourselves. This doesn’t only happen during the holidays either. Life moves at such a rapid pace we can wear ourselves out trying to keep up. One job that we cannot slack on is loving ourselves. It is of the utmost importance.
Loving yourself does not involve arrogance. What it does involve is self-care. We need to take care of our health so we can show up for life and for those we care about as the best version of ourselves. It involves making ourselves a priority. Knowing that we may not be able to attend every holiday party we are invited to. We may not have the finances to buy gifts for everyone we would want to. That’s ok. By taking care of ourselves, we allow others to do the same. By loving ourselves, we demonstrate that we feel we deserve that love. We also learn what makes us feel loved. This is important when others wish to make us feel loved. In fact, if we do not love ourselves, we can make it impossible to feel that we deserve love from others.
Loving ourselves allows us to really appreciate and fully receive the love that others share with us. When your spouse tells you that you look attractive, but you are used to putting yourself down, it can be hard to believe much less appreciate. When you know that you have beautiful qualities, that compliment from your loved one is much easier to believe. When you can fully receive a compliment, it not only makes you feel better, but the one giving you the compliment as well. Think of it. If you tell someone they look nice and they always respond, “No I do not!” How likely are you to continue to compliment them? If they respond, “Thank you so much for saying so. That really means a lot.” How much better would you feel knowing that they appreciated your compliment.
It is your duty to love yourself. This does not mean you have to be perfect. It means that you are doing the best you can and showing up for others the best you can. You might have things about yourself that you don’t like, that is fine. Those things might be what someone else loves. You are an amazing soul and realizing that will not only benefit you but everyone else that you share life with. Don’t they deserve that? Don’t you?
When you are on the journey of self-improvement, you can often to run into people who seem to be going in the opposite direction. Maybe they are just sunshine-challenged. Worse, they may try to be a cloud to your sunshine. My first inclination was to try and help them improve their lives. That is a good thing to do. Some people suffer simply out of ignorance. They do not know what they do not know. Introducing them to some fun and simple self-improvement tools that could make their life happier and healthier is a noble venture. You would be giving them a gift greater than any other.
What happens when they reject you and your attempts to bring light into their lives? What happens when they continue to be a downer or even worse? I refer you to that great bit of wisdom, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.” Many people doubt that they can improve their lot in life. You can plant the seed, but if the soil is not fertile, it just will not grow. Rather than waste your time watering it and giving it all of your sunshine, use it as a reminder of what your life might look like if you do not work on your self-improvement. It helps me to even send them a ‘thank you’ for reminding me to stay on the sunny side of the street and keep a positive outlook. This is best done in your head. Changing the feelings of frustration with their behavior to one of gratitude for the reminder will make our life much less stressful. It will also decrease the likelihood that there will be a conflict between the two of you.
Remember that not everyone wishes to improve their lot in life. Working on saving the entire world is not only exhausting, it is a fool’s errand. Some are just happy leaving their life up to outside circumstances. Inside your head thank them for the reminder to maintain your own efforts. By maintaining a sunny disposition, they may come to you when they are ready to improve. If that day never comes, you will at least be less stressed by not spending the energy on watering a seed that will never grow.
I hope this quote gave you a little chuckle like it did for me. I think it is helpful to have something that is not only a little silly, but encouraging as well. A quote like this can start your day with a smile and a little boost. As for me, I am certain to accomplish the first part of the quote and as long as Margie thinks the second part is true, I will be good.
Life is full of challenging times and challenging people. Having a quote like this to help get us through could be worth its weight in gold. It would also be a great response to the question, “How are you?” or “How is it going?” Having an empowering answer to this question can have a great impact on your life. Why? Think about how many times a day someone asks you how you are. At the very least, it is something you will answer at least once a day. Having an answer that is positive and uplifting means that you will be saying that very thing at least once a day. It is like repeating an affirmation. Conversely, I have heard all manner of sarcastic and negative answers to this question. Why you would want to speak negative over your life is beyond me.
Find your empowering and silly quote now. You can use this one until yours appears. Think of a positive response you can reply with when someone greets you. If you can make them smile as well that is an added bonus. Think if you ask someone how they are doing and they smile and look at you and say, “Living the dream with amazing people like yourself!” That may very well brighten your day. The more you repeat positive statements, the more they seep into your subconscious mind. Doing this long enough, it becomes your reality. I would love to hear some of your ideas of positive and silly quotes below.
Have you ever read a great deal of negative news, or perhaps been a part of a very negative conversation? One so negative that you actually felt exhausted when it was over? That is because you have spent a great deal of your most valuable currency foolishly. We only have so much mental, emotional and spiritual energy. It can vary from day to day. Just like you have more physical energy on some days than you do on others. Maybe you didn’t sleep well? Maybe you have a physically exhausting job to tackle. The next day you may have gotten sleep, had an extra cup of coffee and are ready to go!
The same can be said for our emotional and spiritual energy as well. We only have a finite amount of it every day. Are we going to waste it on the negative news of the day? The sad part is that often we waste so much of our energy on the unfulfilling, that we are ‘energy bankrupt’ and unable to afford to give any attention to things that would fill our hearts with joy.
Mastering our attention does not mean being ignorant to the fact there are challenges in life. It is deciding how much of our energy and/ focus currency we are going to spend on them. It would be a good idea to use the 80/20 principle here. Spend 20% of our attention on the problem. Defining it clearly. Then, spend the remaining 80% of the time on possible solutions. It would be a great idea to start every morning giving our attention to something that feeds our soul. Read something from your faith. Find an inspirational website, such as the one you are currently reading. Begin each day giving attention to something positive. It would also be wise to devote your last bit of energy before sleep to something positive as well. This again could be reading something positive. It could also be keeping a gratitude journal, meditation or a host of other things. You will not only sleep more peacefully, you will wake up with more positive energy for the following day.
Think of this as you go throughout your day. Remind yourself you only have so much energy and focus currency. Ask yourself, “Is this really what I want to be spending my emotional currency on?” If not, acknowledge the issue and move along to something that makes your heart happier.
This quote and picture are obviously not just about candles. Before we get into what this means in our daily life, let us look at it from the point of a candle. You are in a dark room and you have a lit candle. It gives off a certain amount of light. Someone else walks in with a candle. The room becomes twice as bright. If you were to walk over to them and blow out their candle, the room would become darker. In addition, your candle would not burn twice as bright to make up for the loss of light. Suppose there were other unlit candles in the room. If you were to use yours to light them the room would continue to get brighter.
This all seems rather obvious from the point of candles. What the light of the candle really signifies is the light inside all of us. Some get jealous when they seem another person’s light shining and look to extinguish it. As if that would somehow make their light shine brighter. In only results in making the room, or this case the world, a darker place. Conversely, if you were to use your candle to light as many other candles as you could, the room would continue to get brighter and brighter. What this translates to is using your gifts, and the light inside of you, to brighter the lives of as many people as you can. If we fill the world with happy people, the world only becomes a brighter place. Just like the more candles you light, the brighter the room.
Next time you brighten someone’s day, know that you are really doing so much more. You are making the world a brighter place. The more people you do this for, the brighter the world becomes. Remember there are lots of people blowing out candles. They put people down, they are cruel and unkind. Therefore, you may have to light the same candle more than once. It takes a continued effort to keep all of the candles around us lit. It requires us always looking to empower and uplift each other. Let us work to make the world as bright as we can.
The last few posts we have been talking about gratitude, appreciation and such. These are not mere idle words. They are powerful ways of thinking. Roughly ten years ago, I began to change the way that I thought and viewed the world. It has created some radical shifts in my life. I gained the love of my life. I wrote and published 3 books. I started a podcast and YouTube channel. I began speaking. This was all due to a change in the way I thought. When you develop an attitude of gratitude and live in the present life becomes nothing short of magical. Even if your life is tough right now, there are so many things we have to be grateful for. Clean water, the ability to read these words, the fact we are alive when there are so many advances in science and medicine.
When you develop this attitude, that of gratitude, you will recognize that merely being alive is such a great gift! One way to really begin to appreciate all that you have in your life is to live in the present. Way too many of us are filled with regret for the past, or anxious about the future. One already happened, one hasn’t happened yet. Regret the past? The only way to do anything about it is to take action in the present to make up for it. Worried about the future? The best thing you can do is to take actions now to prepare for the future. Don’t want to risk taking things in your life for granted? Stop looking at your phone and take a look around you.
We can get so busy working to afford a life, that we fail to realize that life itself is the gift. It is in mastering our thoughts and choosing what to focus on that is the secret to an amazing life. We can choose to focus on what is right with the world, or what is wrong with it. They are both available at all times. Focusing on what is good in the world does not mean you are ignorant to the fact that there are things that need improvement. Just that you are not dwelling on them. This is a lesson I practice daily. I work long days most of the time. I have a wonderful lady at home that I will soon marry. There are times that my heart almost breaks because I miss spending time with her. If I were to focus on that, my day would be filled with sadness and heartache. Instead, I choose to focus on how fortunate I am to have someone I am so excited to come home to. That is a gift that not many have. I can be grateful that I have a job that I can work to help support us. Again, something not many have.
Even writing this blog and my next book. People ask how after working 56 hours at my day job, 5 hours on Sunday as a DJ, and going to the gym 3 days a week, do I manage to still have ambition to write? Still have ambition? How many people get to share thoughts for reducing stress, increasing joy and becoming the best version of ourselves to people in over 200 countries? It is a feeling of joyous obligation. Meaning I know people are relying on me to bring motivating and empowering positive thoughts to them daily. That is such a great blessing and opportunity. Does that make it easy? No. It makes it worth it.
Changing your thinking begins with mastering your thoughts. Until you do that, you can’t do anything. Once you do that, you can do anything. Mastering our thoughts means mastering our inner dialogue. Controlling the conversation that is going on in our heads and not leaving it up to chance or outside circumstances. This takes some discipline and willpower. It is certainly a skill worth mastering. When you do get control of your thinking, you will empower yourself to accomplish anything you are going after.
If you want to know the secret to an amazing life, start by mastering your own thoughts and emotions. It is a skill that will pay off more than anything else. More importantly, it will allow you to develop any other skill. If you fail to master your inner dialogue, you will forever be at the mercy of others and outside circumstances.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 