THE LIES OF THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

 

Recently I watched an interview with Nikki Sixx, the bass player of the band Sixx A.M. In this interview he was explaining the idea behind the song The Lies of the Beautiful People. It turns out Mr. Sixx happened to glance People Magazines issue of the 100 most beautiful people.

“Who are they to decide who is beautiful?” Sixx angrily asked himself. Being that he was actively doing a photoshoot to showcase the beauty of people who are physically challenged, he found this a rather poignant question. Taking his question, and the frustration it caused to his fellow bandmates he told them, “Guys we have a problem.” Then they do what all great bands do with their frustration – they wrote about it.

As Nikki Sixx himself says, “It’s not that George Clooney isn’t a good looking guy, but who are they to dictate what is beautiful to us?”

That got me thinking of my own definition of beauty and people I think are beautiful. As I began to list of items in my head that make people beautiful, I soon realized true, heartfelt beauty has very little to do with physical appearance.

I feel people who find the joy in life and the simple things are some of the most beautiful people. I find laughter beautiful. I fight those who are compassionate to others quite beautiful. I think a desire to read and more to the point learn is beautiful. Bettering yourself is a trait that makes you feel very beautiful.

Of course, I find the love of my life, Margie, amazingly beautiful. Not only does she embody several of these traits, but she is a good mother to her children and grandmother to her grandchildren. She is driven and still does her best to love me. Are we always perfect? Of course not, but it is the love in the trying times that is the most beautiful. It doesn’t hurt that I find her physically stunning, but that is really the icing on the cake.

What are the traits that make someone beautiful to you? Who in your life do you find beautiful not with your eyes, but with your heart? Mention them here.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE SIXX AM VIDEO FOR THE LIES OF THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

REFLECTIONS IN INSANITY

On March 22nd the band Motley Crue released their long-awaited biography The Dirt. Being a big fan of 80’s rock I was interested in seeing how this all came out. I watched several interviews with members of the band who recalled their crazy days and everything they went through. Nikki Sixx, the bass player, admits he is shocked they were still alive.

As many of you know I was a singer in a band myself for many years. On a phone call with my bass player/co-writer/best friend Russ, we recalled some of the crazy stuff that went on with us. These events contained, but were not limited to – almost setting his garage on fire while, ironically, playing the song Live wire by Motley Crue, being arrested while jamming at a house party hosted by our friend Nick (I still maintain for us this was more of a wrong place/wrong time situation) crazy nights that included way too much rum and kicking flaming balls down city streets. There was many other events that should probably remain in conversation between the two of us.

What was the point of all this insanity? Maybe it is something that you do when in a rock band? Maybe it is the blatant disregard for common sense that is so prevalent in youth? Regardless of what it was, we both came to the same conclusion – we were lucky to be alive and for all purposes unscathed. For all the various band members there were stints in rehab, failed jobs and relationships and health scares. Looking back on some of the things we did, words like insane and foolish come to mind. One word stands out and that is grateful. Quite easily, one of us could have spend a prolonged time in jail or ended up killing ourselves or someone else.

Another thing we were grateful for was our friendship. It has been roughly 30 years since we first met and we still talk at least once a week even though we live in different states. He has become a terrific funeral director, helping people in what is often the roughest periods of their lives. Myself, I have become an author and motivational speaker doing my best to do the same.

In our last conversation, recalling all of our band craziness, we were inspired. Realizing that despite some of the unnecessary distractions we invited into our lives, we created some amazing music, lyrics and memories. Much like Motley Crue, who did some of their best work when all of the members of their band were sober, we began talks of working together on a new creative project.

Neither of us are sure exactly what that will be, but we are sure of one thing, we wasted a good amount of our time together. In the middle of having fun we never realized what great creative potential we had as a team. Our band also included a very talented guitar player named Karl. It was a shame that we did not stick together long enough to make a bigger impact on both each other and the world around us.

The one redeeming factor is after everything we have been through we have learned and came out on top. He has moved to further his career in a state he loves (Arizona), I have met the love of my life Margie, who supports and honestly pushes me to share my talent. Without all that we put ourselves and each other through we may not appreciate what we have now as much.

I am sure each one of us can look back on our lives and think of some points that we would call “Wasted Youth” but if you learn the lessons it is never a waste. Our mistakes have instilled us with not only a sense of gratitude, but one of determination to make the most of our creative talents going forward. I am eternally grateful to be at a point in my life where I have a friend and brother of 30 years to remind me of what is important as well as a loving lady who will push me to make sure I put it to use.

As you look back on your own life be grateful for the lessons and those who have stuck by you. Do not live in your past, but learn from it and use it to drive you forward.

LIVE LIKE YOU’RE ON VACATION

If you can belive it, this is me at work. Why on earth am I wearing a tropical shirt and hat from Jamaica? It was all inspired from a line in a song by the rock band Kiss. The line is this, Don’t need to wait for an invitation . You gotta live like you’re on vacation. This line was the beginning of a great quest for me. Personally I love tropical vacations. Literally I am transformed into a different person when I step off the plane. It is a different mindset. Anyone who has went on vacation knows exactly what I am talking about. Working on my upcoming book Living the Dream the question foremost in my mind was how can we take this mindset back with us like a valuable souvenir? How can we tolerate bosses who insult us or workplaces that are negative? One I have been working on lately. How can we tolerate freezing temperatures with no sun when we would much rather be at the beach?

While pondering this question for months on end I discovered a great and powerful secret. One I am going to share with you free of charge right here in this blog post. Those of you who will be able to wrap your head around this secret will at once understand the freedom it provides for anyone who uses it. I have personally used this secret everyday since I discovered it. Not only has it provided me a great sense of freedom, but it has made my life so much more enjoyable. Here is the great and powerful secret.

There is no law of physics that states your mind and body have to be in the same place at the same time.

I encourage you to read that statement again slowly. Ponder what that means for you. Cleaning the toilet? Why have your mind focused on the task at hand and all the not so pleasurable things that go with it. Working out? Think of how great you will feel with your new body on the beaches of Fiji. That is why a lot of us listen to music or other such things while we workout. I am in the gym 5 days a week and I can promise you that would not be possible without the encouragement of Tony Robbins, Eric Thomas or the music of Motley Crue and Shabba Ranks.

When we realize this power, it is important to note the two sides of it. When you are in a not so pleasant situation. Say working at the post office with a boss who walks the thin line between sane and insane, hypothetically. Then you can imagine being on the vacation that job allows you to save for. What beach will you go to? What will you see while snorkeling? Before you know it, the time clock will tell you it is time to go.

Here is the other fun part of this. It can really benefit you to be fully present during the good times. Once my lady had a bath with scented bath salts, a few candles and a glass of wine waiting for me. (yes I do have one amazing lady and don’t I know it) Now I knew this was going to be a great experience so I tried to soak it in with all of my senses. I felt the warm water relax my muscles. I took a deep breath and enjoyed both the scent from the bath salts as well as the steam. I took time to really enjoy the taste of the wine, the glow of the candles. I hope you are getting the idea. Do this with every pleasure, big and small, that life gives you. How many times have we driven somewhere only to park and wonder who drove when we were the only person in the car? This can be good if we are fighting rush hour, but if we are taking a drive to the grocery store via the parkway, take time to enjoy the scenery. Enjoying a great meal? Take time to savor every bite. The smell, the taste, the texture of the food in your mouth. We are preparing to go on vacation to Jamaica in November and I am already excited to soak that all in.

Here is my advice to you. Be present when life is pleasurable. When it is not, send your mind on vacation. Go skiing, or camping. Think of an especially good memory you have or maybe something you really are looking forward to.

Remember, your mind and body do not have to be in the same place at the same time.