I saw this on a friend’s page and thought, “That was nice of them to share. ” Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you which friend it was. This message did bring something to mind. It was posted on my friend’s social media page. It was a wish for all of their friends to see, not just me.
As I thought how nice and refreshing it was to read something pleasant, with no ulterior motives behind it, I wondered why this doesn’t happen more often in real life. How come we do not share genuine messages with heartfelt encouragement with more people. “Have a good day.” not withstanding, how many other encouraging greetings do we offer?
What can be fun about this, is that it is an area we can be creative in. One of my favorites is “Drive careful and stay healthy.” I’m going to make an effort to share more specific greetings with people that encourage and uplift. I would love to hear some of yours.
Here is something that can make a dramatic difference in your life. Waking up in a good mood. Have you ever given that much thought? Has it ever occurred to you that you have a choice as to what kind of mood you do wake up in? I wake up at 4am six days a week. Margie is always amazed that even on very little sleep I tend to wake up in a good mood. It wasn’t always this way and yes, there is a secret to it. Before I share what that secret is, ask yourself what waking up in a good mood could do for you? Waking up in a determined state instead of reacting to what the world throws at you. Deciding your own emotional state instead of leaving it up to the fate of others or outside circumstances.
This will allow you to do a great many things you would not be able to if you did not control your own emotional state. You will decrease your stress levels and the hormones related to it. This can minimize your risk for heart attacks and high blood pressure. That is pretty important. You will also be less reactive. When we are already stressed, even the smallest things can set us off. When we face a challenge beginning in a good emotional state, we are better equipped to make intelligent decisions. We will also be less likely to be left with consequences we will regret. Less stressed and generally more full of joy means our immune systems will be stronger. That means less colds and flu. To the very obvious, life is a lot more enjoyable.
By now you should be sold on the benefits of waking up in a good mood, but how do you do it? It is easier than you think and not complicated at all. It starts the night before. What you think of the last five minutes before sleep is what your subconscious mind will focus on while you are sleeping. If you go to sleep dreading the alarm the next morning, or fretting over all the problems you had that day, that focus will only cause those situations to grow. Give yourself a break and focus on what you have to be grateful for. It could be the fact you have a place to sleep. It could be the person next to you or the cat or dog at the end of the bed. Instead of dreading going to work, be thankful you are employed. Many are not. This is why reading something inspiring before bed helps. If you keep a gratitude journal, reviewing it before bed makes it that much more powerful.
When you do wake up, even if you have very little time to yourself, you can still set yourself up for success. Did I mention that I wake up at 4am? I often have very little time to get ready and get to work on time. The main reason is that I have a hard time leaving a warm bed with a hot lady inside of it. Instead of being upset I have to do that, I am grateful I have that. Then, near my bed and all of the places I am sure to go in the morning, such as the coffee maker, I have reminders of things that I am grateful for or that bring me joy. Pictures of loved ones or fun vacations. A well-placed inspirational quote can help your focus. Even reading your favorite motivational and inspirational blog, Secret2anamazinglife.com, can start your day out right. A little bit of light physical movement to get the heart pumping helps. If you have a mantra or an inspiring saying you enjoy? Try repeating it to yourself as you get ready. Place inspiring quotes or images on the bathroom mirror to look at while you brush your teeth.
These are but some of the ways that you can assure you wake up ready to take on the world and be a blessing to those around you. I would love to hear any tips you can offer on how to start your day off filled with joy and inner peace.
This week, create your own luck. “Sounds great Neil, but how do I do that?” you might be wondering. In a word – prepare! It amazes me when people tell me how lucky I am. “You are lucky to have so many people follow your blog.” They say. What they do not see is the time and effort put in on top of working 56 hours a week at my day job and working as a DJ on the weekends. “You are so lucky you do not get sick more often.” Those who say this do not talk about eating healthy, working out or making sure to take my vitamins. My favorite is when people tell me how lucky Margie and I are that we have a great relationship. Am I fortunate and blessed to have such a beautiful and loving lady in my life? Absolutely! Do all of our days and plans go smoothly? Not hardly. We both get sick, tired and on each other’s last nerve on occasion. We have breakdowns in our communication. We also work our butts off to address these things. There are always threats looking for that chink in the armor of love. It could be jealous people. It could be people who are spiteful. Even when we do figure things out, there is the threat of taking things for granted or falling victim to familiarity. That is why we are constantly working to keep things fun, fresh and spicy.
Do you want to create more luck in your life? All you have to do is work harder. Do you want to be ‘lucky’ enough to write and publish 3 books? It will cost you many sleepless nights, lots of frustration and plenty of hard work. Do you want to be ‘lucky’ not to get the sickness that seems to be going around the office? You will have to work on staying in shape, watching your diet and perhaps taking a little extra vitamin C. Do you want to be ‘lucky’ in love? Let me tell you up front, you will have to work at it. Learn the art of active listening. Learn to apologize when you are wrong. Learn how to express your emotions properly and with thought for the other person’s feelings. Even before you get into a relationship, you can increase your chances of being ‘lucky’ when you find the one if you spend time working on yourself. The better version of yourself you bring to a relationship, the greater the chances are it will be ‘lucky’.
The formula may seem obvious, but it cannot be overstated. Like Thomas Jefferson said, the harder you work, the more luck you will have. What is important in your life? What area do you feel you would like to experience more ‘luck’ in? Whatever that area is, start to increase the amount of effort you put into it. You will find the amount of luck that seems to find you will only increase.
We always like to post encouragement on Wednesday. We are going to ask two questions of ourselves today. Feel free to share your answers in the comments below if you would like to add to the encouragement.
The first question is who are you proud of today? Is there someone you feel good above and beyond? Someone who makes your life better by what they do? Let them know and spread a little cheer.
The second question is often more difficult. Why are you proud of yourself? What amazing things have you done? How do you make the world a better place?
How many of us see obstacles in our life and right away have the urge to fight them? If there is a chance to adapt and work around them it would save us a great deal of energy that could be spent focused on success. What a waste of time and energy it is to argue. Even if you manage to ‘win’ the argument, chances are you will have ‘lost’ the relationship. If the person agrees to go along with your ideas, it is never with an excited passion. It is better to state the solution you are aiming towards, and try to come up with a joint solution.
Next time you encounter resistance while working towards a goal, remember to stay focused on the solution and not the problem. Go around the rocks if you can.
In many ways, I consider myself a modern-day stoic. There are many great thoughts expressed in this philosophy. Above is one of them. This is why it is so important to not only think of, but decide on and WRITE DOWN specific goals. View them daily, if not several times a day. Can you imagine having free plane tickets with no destination in mind? What good would they be? It is a shame to have good fortune thrust upon us and to not have a plan to make the most of it. As much as I like this quote on face value, I find that flipping it around makes it even more valuable. Let me explain.
I believe when you have a firm and worthwhile destination every wind is favorable. You can tell when the wind is blowing in your favor. You raise the sails and make the most of it. When the wind is blowing against you, you lower the sails, you may even have to row a little. If you get caught in a terrible storm of life, you know to ride it out and make sure your ship is pointed in the right direction to get back on track. When you have a solid destination in life there are two types of events. The one that makes you say, “This will certainly help!” That is when the wind is blowing in your favor. The other is when you say, “I can learn and grow with this.” That is when the wind seems to be blowing against you.
Think of trying to eat better. Someone brings in healthy snacks to work. (It could happen) You think to yourself, “This will sure make eating healthier more enjoyable and easier. The next day someone brings in doughnuts and soda. (This is far more likely) Then you say to yourself, “This will certainly help test my will power.” In both of these situations you get closer to your goal of eating better even though one of them is more helpful than the other. This holds true with fitness, study, cleaning the house or any situation you can think of.
In life if you do not know where you want to go, how on earth are you going to get there? We must make our destination firm in our minds and remind ourselves of it often. Life today is filled with distractions more so than any other time in history. Staying focused on our path places us in the top tier of successful people. Where is the port you are sailing towards?
Many people find themselves in a state of unhappiness. There is a way to turn that around. That is to begin to work on becoming the best version of yourself. It begins with an honest evaluation of where you are now. This can be a bit deflating, but in order to know where you want to go, it is necessary to know where you are. Think of looking at a map. If you were to look at your destination, but have no idea where you are, how would you know in which direction you should go. It is the same with the journey of your life.
I once heard Tony Robbins say, “Progress equals happiness.” Earl Nightingale’s definition of success is, “A progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” Both of these bring up a good point. It is not the accomplishment of goals, or reaching a certain point that brings us the greatest deal of happiness. Although those certainly should be celebrated. If you notice in both quotes, the word ‘progress’ is featured. Think of trying to get in shape. It certainly is a great feeling to look in the mirror and find yourself at the level of fitness you desire. Do you know what is an even more exciting feeling? When you realize you have to by a size smaller in clothing because the size you have been wearing for the last couple of years is now too large. You know you are on your way!
One of the greatest thieves of joy is comparison. It can even upend progress. Have you ever had this experience? You are feeling good about the progress you have made towards some goal. Smile on your face, joy in your heart. Then you run into a friend who has made greater progress towards the same goal, maybe even in a shorter amount of time. Suddenly, your happiness is crushed. You go from feeling like a conqueror to a failure. It is worse if you are just about to start your journey of self-improvement. You pop on social media and see pictures of people who you went to school with that have not only already accomplished the goals you are striving for, but have surpassed them.
The phrase that comes to mind in all of these examples is “Who cares!” That is them. We never know anyone’s complete story. Maybe they post pictures of their career success but fail to mention the happy home life it cost them. Maybe they appear to be madly in love, but are fighting addiction. Another important point is that each journey is unique to the individual. I am more impressed with someone who has managed to reach a state of inner peace after fighting the demons of depression than someone who has reached inner peace after inheriting a fortune from their family. That is why it is so important to be focused on improving ourselves and the challenges we have overcome.
Here is a bonus way of making this more fun and enjoyable. Look for the small accomplishments of your friends, family and even your coworkers. Celebrate them as if they were your own. You never know what it took for them to overcome that. The more you help others celebrate their wins, the more joy and peace will come to your heart. Not to mention, the more likely they are to celebrate your wins as well. Remember, there is enough room for all of us to win!
I have a few relatives that come to mind with this phrase. I have a grandma who talks…a lot. She is imperfect. I have an aunt that says the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times. Again, imperfect. Don’t we all know people like this? In some ways, unique to us, we are all people like this.
Yet in this imperfections, these people are at the same time perfect. My grandma, for example, will share so many amazing stories of her life. There are never any awkward silences in the conversation. My aunt and her inappropriate comments often break the ice at stressful times. Think funerals as an example. She makes others feel comfortable expressing themselves. Perfect!
Whatever perceived imperfections you may struggle with within yourself, know that they are perfect in their own way. Each of us bring something vital to the world that nobody else can. We are a blend of perfect imperfections.
How many of these amazing things do you make it a point to put into your life? The more of them we add, it is like watering a plant. The more we are likely to grow! In each of these items, there are also many options. Take ‘kind words’ for example. You could write affirmations for yourself. You could listen to an encouraging meditation or you could read secret2anamazinglife.com!
Out of these ways to water yourself, which is your favorite? Use as many as you can. The more you use, the more you will grow. You deserve it and you are worth it!
Many people shy away from the world of ‘self-improvement’ because it sounds like something is wrong with them. Let us not get started on the term ‘self-help’. That sounds like you are in a bad way and needing some help. The truth is far subtler. We could always improve ourselves, and thus, our lot in life. We all could use a little help. This is true when we are striving to learn something new, or unlearn something we have been doing for years. Both ‘improvement’ and ‘help’ are not a sign of weakness. They are signs you are seeking to become a better version of yourself.
Do not let the terms trip you up. Even if you love your vehicle, wouldn’t it be great to get better gas mileage? There is nothing wrong with you; improve anyway. This would be a great mantra to have in your head. If you are always working to be your best and do your best that is great. As we go through life, we learn and experience more. That means our best is a moving target. As we improve, so does the best of what we can be. That means there is never a finish line. That should not make you feel defeated, but excited. There are always opportunities to be healthier, happier and more loving. Keep striving to improve yourself. By doing so you will continue to improve your life.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 