Tag: Motivation

IT’S NOT A JOKE

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Normally my posts don’t contain such colorful language, but in this case it proves a point and hey it’s Monday so why not. I always wondered as a young child why people of different beliefs could not get along. When I asked what I considered a well-informed adult the answer was always the same, “Well they should be able to all get along” there was always that magical word should in there. Still I noticed they didn’t. I still wonder why more people cannot come together and respect each others differences while enjoying what we all have in common.

Despite knowing people all have some of the same desires such as to be loved, to be free from harm, for their voice to be heard, we often have a hard time helping others realize these desires. We also tend to share the same fears. Most of us fear looking foolish, be unloved, or being hurt. It doesn’t matter what religion you are, or what color you are. Inside we are more alike than we are different. Another reason racism of any kind confused me. When I encounter a person who is different than I am, my first thought is one of wonder. How is this person different? How can I learn from them? What do they do to be happy? What have they learned in their life?

So remember to respect our brothers and sisters that are different than us. We can all learn and benefit from each other. Also remember on the inside we are all alike.

A LIVING TREASURE

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It amazes me in our current culture how little value is placed on our senior citizens. They have seen more and experienced more than most of us. Whatever most of us are going through they have a story they can relate. They can also give us a gift of foretelling our future to a great extent. What do I mean by this? People that are older than us have not only seen a great deal in their own lives, but have seen a good many others live their lives as well. They essentially know if you play the game this way, the end result will be this.

The trouble is, when we are young it can be difficult to fully understand, or believe what they are telling us. Having not lived the amount of years they have, or experiencing what they may have went through it can often seem like we are speaking two different languages. So why would it be important to listen to someone speaking a language we don’t? In this case everyone will eventually learn this language.

Finding this all a little hard to follow? Let me share a personal story with you. My grandfather was one of the most important and influential people in my life. We had plenty of private conversations where he shared with me what he knew of life. There were times I found it hard to maintain interest and even others when I thought he was crazy. My grandfather passed away almost two decades ago. Here is the amazing thing, some of what he taught me I am only now able to understand. He teaches me, and I learn from him to this very day, almost 20 years after his passing. There are always moments when I wish he were still alive to clarify a point, or to answer a question. It is then I realize I should have paid more attention to the words he spoke when he was here.

So yourself a huge favor, when an elder speaks to you make sure you listen. They are our greatest teachers and our living treasures.

HOW TO BE A SUCCESS EVERY DAY!

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I love this quote because it reminds me of something I often forget. A lot of us, myself included, are focused on becoming a success. Personally, I am always focused on reaching more people. This could be how can I have more people attend my seminars, how can I get my book in the hands of more people. Even while I am DJing or bartending I am focused on how to reach more people and inspire them and bring them joy.

This in itself is not a bad thing, but we must remember that true success, like abundance should be felt in every area of our lives. We need to pay as much attention to our personal goals as well as our professional goals. Are you wanting to be the best parent? The best spouse? Perhaps you are looking to become healthier? A better listener? A better communicator? Success takes work in a lot of areas in life.

This may seem like a lot to work on, but that is only half true. What do I mean by this? There are so many opportunities to achieve success. How does that translate to an effective life strategy? Simple, every day you have a chance to be a success. Maybe you were not number one on the bestseller list, but you really made your wife feel loved. You are a success. Maybe you ruined the diet you have been doing good on, but you taught your children a very important lesson.

What this all means is every day there are so many ways to succeed and so many things to feel grateful for. So let us all notice what we can improve on, but let us focus on what we succeed at. It will not only keep us wanting to do more of that, but also make us feel very good about ourselves and what we do for the world.

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

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Who the hell are you? Chances are you had to stop a second and think of the answer to that. What did you come up with? Was your identity attached to your occupation? Was it defined by your family life? Perhaps you chose your faith to define who you are. It is amazing how little focus we spend on who we are. Even less on who we desire to become. Here is a great secret, you have power over that. What do I mean by this? Let me share with you a simple exercise I learned that can help us become the type of person we desire to be. First ask yourself who you wish to be. Keep it simple. One word answers. Come up with three. Once you get started it can be easy to keep going, but pick the 3 most powerful ones for you. By most powerful I mean the ones you really wish to be defined by. Perhaps you wish to be a driven person, but all you seem to drive is other people crazy. write it down. Maybe you want to be energetic, but the only energy you use is the batteries in the remote? write it down. Maybe you would just like to be a happy joyous person, but life always seems to knock you down. write it down.

So now you have a list. In our example it would be driven, energetic and happy Here is all you do, much like the questions from yesterdays post, in fact you can have them on the same sheet of paper, read these three words three times a day. upon waking, before retiring and at least once a day. In addition, read them whenever you seem to be off track. Feeling to lazy to change a channel and find yourself feeling like spending the day on the sofa? Read your list. The boss have you so mad you are seeing red? read the list. It is like reminding yourself of who you are. Not who you want to be, but who you are. It may seem like you are lying to yourself, but deciding who you want to be is a new practice for most of us and our brain may need a gentle reminder.

Again I encourage you to try this for 30 days. If you pair it with the questions from yesterdays post your life is on the fast track to positive change. In a month you will not even recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror! Please stop back and share your results

TODAY IS THE DAY

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This is a quote that really helped get my life on the fast track. Here is something I am often guilty of, thinking too far ahead. What do I mean by this? I will think of all the steps I must do to complete a project and become so overwhelmed I will not start. Have you ever done that? This quote helped me look at things differently. My goal is to be someone who can touch lives and  bring joy to countless people across this crazy planet we live on. If I thought of everything that would have to happen for that to be true I would quickly be overwhelmed and may be inclined to give up. Instead I find that asking myself a different question helps a great deal. I read this quote and then think of my goal and ask myself “What can I do today?” What steps can I take today that will help my cause in the future? Too often we focus on if we had only done this in the past, or well things will be better when I can do that in the future.

This need not only apply to life missions. Even things like the vacation you are looking to take. If you can’t afford the trip to Fiji tomorrow, what can you do? Look into getting your passport? Look at resorts in Fiji and which you might like to stay at? Talk to a travel agent and discover what time of year is best. Begin to visualize yourself there. So many steps you can take today. Start by putting $20 in a bank or savings account to put towards it. Little steps taken daily change your life. So let us ask ourselves, what can we do today? Even if it seems like a very small step, take whatever action you can towards your goal. You will feel better and gain momentum.

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL MAY BE YOU

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The title of this post is a phrase I use to close most of my YouTube videos (find them on YouTube under Neil Panosian) and is also a line I must confess to stealing from an Aerosmith song. What does it really mean? Well often something we may forget when searching for that feeling of joy or inspiration in our lives is the easiest way to get that feeling is to give it away. We never know who may be looking to us for their inspiration. You do not have to be an individual who writes or lectures about motivation to be in that category. Although let me tell you it is great to be reminded how much my work touches others. Perhaps you are a person who demonstrates a strong commitment to their faith as my friend Cari does. Perhaps you wish to let your challenges inspire others as my friend Travis does on his site bringitivity Whatever your situation or story may be remember you can inspire others as well. My lady makes beautiful cakes that not only bring joy to others, but serve as an example of the great use people can put their creative skills to.

What does all this have to do with me? You might find yourself asking this very question. Perhaps you don’t think you have a skill that can inspire anyone? Think again! No matter what your state or occupation you have the chance to do it with passion and joy. I personally cannot count the times my day has been made better by a cheery face behind a counter, stocking shelves or even cleaning the hotel I am staying at. They have all inspired me. The great thing is it works both ways, I have also had the good fortune of inspiring them. Too many times we may forget or take for granted how important each one of us is. Showing kindness to everyone we meet can be the light at the end of their tunnel. You never know what people may be going through and what they may need. So do yourself and the world a favor, if you can’t find the light, be the light.

KEEP YOUR DREAM SAFE

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“A blog about happiness? that is just stupid!” “writing a book is more complicated than you know, it will take to long and cost too much” “Ok, so you wrote a book, don’t expect to sell too many copies” “My friend wrote a book and all he sold was a few dozen copies so don’t expect too much” These were actually all quotes I have been told. Some by very well-meaning people who I believe just didn’t want to get my hopes dashed. Do you have people in your life like this? They seem to find the thorn in every rose. Like I said earlier, some even mean well. They don’t want to see your dreams get crushed, but little do they realize that by doing so they are contributing to the crushing. I am here to tell you that I believe in you. I have seen people with every disadvantage succeed. For my own story and the quotes above I did manage to launch a blog, the very one you are reading presently. 3 years and getting bigger every day. I also managed to complete my book A Happy Life for Busy People and learned some great things along the way. I have sold about 500 copies to date and look to get it in the hands of more people. If you would like a copy just click on the title above and it will take you to a place where you can order it.

Does my own story not inspire you enough? Still finding it hard to listen to people saying no to you time after time? Trust me, I can understand. Promoting my books, website and seminars has taught me you have to go through many ‘nos’ to get a ‘yes’. So how do I keep going? Well, in addition to the tips I mentioned in yesterdays post on determination I have one more for you. Keep a record of, and read about people who have overcome challenges to achieve their dream. Here is one to get you started. There was a gentleman who was creative and determined to achieve his dream. Sadly, the one thing he was missing was capital. So this man went to the bank to try to find funding for his dream. They said no. He did not give up, he went to the next bank, they also said no. Imagine how that must have felt. Being rejected personally twice? Here is the amazing thing. It took over 300 banks to get a ‘yes’. I don’t know about you, but I am not sure my self-doubt would not kick in before bank 300. Still this man succeeding beyond his wildest dreams. For us, these days there are things like the internet, crowd funding and virtual banks to assist us.

Oh, and who was this man? Walt Disney when he was trying to get funding for Disneyland. Imagine the loss to millions of adults, not to mention children if Mr. Disney had not been so passionate about his dream. So believe in yours, find people who also  believe. read and discover stories about others who have succeeded and remember often the people putting down your dream may just be hurting because they have not achieved theirs.

THAT IS NOT FUNNY!! OH WAIT,YES IT IS

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This is something to think about. It is always important to find and have something in your life that can make you laugh. It is even better if you have people in your life that can assist you with this. Life is truly a never-ending source of comedy once you are determined to find it. How hard can that be? Let me share a recent example in my own life with you. Because we are a bartender/dj couple on most nights, my lady and I have to grocery shop at some odd hours. Last night, or should I say at four o’clock this morning we found ourselves picking dish soap and things for dinner for the week. In the middle of all the food some previous shopper had left a toy pig that grunted when you squeezed it. My lovely lady found this quite amusing and proceeded to carry it with us as we shopped finding different noises she could create. It had us laughing as we went through the aisles and even startled a few other shoppers. the point is that is was just a random thing we had found in the grocery store and used it to create a evening of laughter. Now besides the benefits listed above, we also created a great memory to share between us. As mentioned in yesterdays post, it is very important to stock pile fun, loving and silly moments with those you care about in your life, both friends and spouses. So do yourself a favor and pick up that movie that makes you laugh, grab a joke book from the library or whatever else brings a smile to your face. The benefits will amaze you. Not to mention it feels amazing.

HOW ARE THEY SO LOVING?

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Do you see the smiles in this picture? This is my beautiful love and I. This is pretty much how we are most of the time. Sure we both have our days. Neither one of us is perfect, but our love is close enough to perfect for me. I would love to tell you those smiles come free, but they don’t. Some rare days they don’t even come easy, although as time goes on I find myself grinning from ear to ear from the time I wake up until the time I fall asleep. The truth is both of these smiles are earned. Behind the scenes there is hard work put in by both parties. What do I mean hard work? Let me first add a caveat to that, it is also extremely fun work. Having a successful relationship involves a great deal of things and could easily fill and book and one may very well be on the way co-authored by this lovely lady. Yet one of the most important things is commitment. Not only to each other, but to your relationship. What do I mean by that? Look into ways of keeping your love fresh. Look for ways to stay in that “honeymoon period” I can safely say my love and I not only still are, but it seems to be growing everyday. Find new ways to make your love feel special and appreciated. Every person is different and different things have different meanings to people. Do not assume your lover views things the exact same way you do. Which brings us to our next point, get to know your love. Sit them down and ask the big questions, what are their dreams? What are they afraid of? How do they experience love? In our case my lady loves soft touches and physical connection the most, where I am more of a verbal person. Learning this one small thing about each other has made it possible for us to help each other feel so much more loved. Again, I could fill a book with all we have learned and how it has helped, but I can tell you everything I have learned has been useful and brought us closer together.

Another important factor couples can forget after a while, have fun together. Do things you both enjoy. Act silly. Create as many happy memories as you can. These are building blocks and can help you both make it through the tougher times. Take time to celebrate your love. My lovely Margie and I have made it a happen to never share a drink together whether it is water, coffee or wine without toasting to some aspect of our love. To learn more about this please read my post “I propose a toast” (August 24/2015). Reason for doing this? Realize all you both have come through to reach the point where you are at, and realize no matter where you are the is still more joy and love to be had.

Another suggestion, when you see a couple enjoying their love, celebrate for them as well. We have a few couples that make us happy to see their love and noticing it only serves to make us happier and more loving. Never be jealous of another relationship. Frist of all you never know what you are not seeing and second if what you are seeing seems better than what you have, use that to motivate yourself to improve your own lot. Don’t be afraid to ask a successful loving couple what they do to achieve great love. If they are anything like Margie and I, they will be more than happy to tell you.

THE MOST POWERFUL SECRET

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People always are asking me, “what can I do to become happy right now? What is the single quickest way to turn my life around completely?” I must confess I cringe at this question. Let’s be real the passion and joy did not get sucked out of your life overnight and it probably will not come back overnight. Still, I understand we live in a nanosecond world where everything is expected yesterday. So I am going to share a simple thing you can do that will turn your life around like magic. Yes, I said like magic. If you do what I am going to suggest In a mere few days your life will not be close to the same. Before I share this, however, I have a word of caution. Do not overlook what I am about to tell you. It is so simple you may be tempted to not see the immense transformative power in what I am about to tell you. Do us both a favor and prove me wrong. How? Try the secret power I am about to let you in on for a month. You can even take off on the weekends. Just put this into practice Monday through Friday for a month. If it doesn’t change your life for the better in major ways feel free to let me know.

So what is this crazy magic spell you can put on yourself? What magical items will you need? Ok all you will need is a pen and a piece of paper. Not to magical right? Wrong. These items will change your life if used properly. So what to do with them? Simple, every day write between 5 and 10 things you are grateful for that day. Sounds easy right? To be honest it really is. So many things happen each day that we can tend to overlook given our focus on things that may not have gone the way we planned. Doing this simple list will do two very important things for you. First, it will help you to focus and remember things that have gone well in your day and serve to balance out the scale a bit. Second, and here is where the magic begins, it will begin to have your mind on the lookout for things to be grateful for that you can write down.

Ok, one more magical step. As you are laying down to sleep look over your list of things you were grateful for that day and pick the best one. whether it be the one you are most grateful for, the one you liked the best. It doesn’t really matter, just pick the one you like the best. Then recall that event, say the words “Thank you” to yourself, or even out loud is better and feel the gratitude for that event. repeat this at least Monday through Friday. You can do all seven days of the week if you would like, but if you would like the weekends off go right ahead. Here is a secret, the more items you write and the more days you do it the more powerful the change in life will be. Do this for a month and I promise you a new life, and a new person will greet you in the mirror.