Tag: Motivation

PLAY LIKE IT IS THE FOURTH QUARTER

If you are a sports fan, you know what the fourth quarter is all about. Time is running out in the game. The chance for victory or defeat is getting tighter. Have you noticed how players seem to rise to the occasion during the last few minutes of a game? It is as if their minds become sharper, their bodies cease to feel the pain or tiredness that was starting to catch up to them. We have all seen teams that were down by what seemed like impossible odds comeback to, as they say, steal victory from the jaws of defeat.

The same holds true in the corporate world. The fourth quarter of a corporate year is when profit margins must be met. It would seem people’s talents come out then as well. Creative solutions that seemed to escape us throughout the year are forced to the surface as deadlines rapidly approach. Again, we seem to steal energy and be able to work a little harder and a little longer. We can wrap up projects we have been laboring away at in the first three quarters.

Most of us know about the two examples above. We have seen it happen, or maybe even been a part of it. What we may not realize it that it happens in other areas of our life as well. Relationships suffer the same fate. It is often not until divorce or a break-up is on the horizon that effort is put into the relationship. When the end is near, then we scramble to fix it. How many of us have heard someone say, “If only I knew they were so close to leaving I would have done more.” In order for us to not be the one saying it, we must realize something very important – it is the fourth quarter!

Whether that is our job, our relationship or the legacy we will leave behind, we never quite know when the fourth quarter is. “Oh, I am young so my fourth quarter is a way off.” you might find yourself saying. Really? Youth is not a guarantee of time. Tragedy and illness can take us all. Sure, the odds go up the more you go through life, but it can strike us at anytime. I recall being diagnosed with my heart issues. At the time I was doing cross fit at the gym and feeling great. There were zero signs anything was wrong. If it were not for a reading of a heart rate monitor, you might not be reading these words.

It is not only sickness or tragedy that can lead to an ‘early fourth quarter’. Think of relationships. One partner thinks everything is great only to come home and discover their partner has moved out after years of suffering in silence. The goal is to foster healthy communication so that this does not happen, but even then it is worth noting the possibility. Your job could suddenly need to lay off a percentage of it’s workforce for an unexpected reason. At that point you may have found yourself wishing you had been a better employee. It would also be a little too late.

If I were to offer any advice for the rest of your life it would be to live like it is the fourth quarter! Do this in as many areas of your life as you can. That is your job, your relationship, your health and your life in general. You never know when the fourth quarter will be. You could be in it and not even know it.

CHANGE OF VIEW

This seems to be a lesson as old as time, but one we keep forgetting. It is this divided world, we must remember the “6” or “9” idea. Both can be right depending on your viewpoint and experiences. Both parties can be right and both parties can be different.

Have you ever ran into this in your own life? I know I have. It can be very difficult to understand that someone with a different, and often contrary, opinion to yours could be correct as well. Try to remember the “6” or “9” principle next time you run into this problem.

DON’T MAKE LIFE ABOUT STUFF.

One of the great strategies I advocate in my second book is writing your own eulogy. It will help you focus on what you want to be remembered for and let you know if you are living a life to be on track for that. If you would like to know more about this exercise and why it could be beneficial to you, feel free to check out my book, Living the Dream, available on Amazon.

With all of the people who have done this exercise, NONE have written anything about material possessions. This is interesting as the group that have done this includes many people, from many different countries with different beliefs and cultures. Still, not a single one wanted their eulogy to include mention of their “stuff”.

The irony in all of this is that we spend our lives in pursuit of pleasure and all of the trappings that go with it. We realize what truly matters in the end, but fail to focus on it. That is part of what makes the human creature a never-ending source of amusement.

Do not make your life all about your stuff. One of my favorite quotes is from Denzel Washington who said, “You never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” All of the time and effort we spend on stuff and we can’t take it with us. Focus on friends, family and creating memories. That’s what really matters.

THE PAIN CAN BE A BLESSING

The last couple of posts we have been discussing being the light in the darkness and appreciating the present with love and gratitude. One of the challenges of this is when we are focused on our own self-improvement, it can come with a lot of growing pains. What we must do is realize that these growing pains are a blessing. Remember we cannot have growing pains without…well…growth!

Think of when you are working your hardest to overcome a negative habit. It can be so deflating at times. You promise yourself, and maybe even those closest to you, that you are going to the gym regularly. Before you know it, a week has passed and you find yourself “too busy” to focus on your health. Maybe it is your diet that you are working on fixing. As you are enjoying your second free doughnut in the breakroom, you are so upset with yourself. You could even mutter, “It is no use. I will never be able to beat these cravings.”

What many of us fail to realize is that these moments of disappointment in ourselves are signs that we are getting better. The fact that our perceived ‘failures’ are making us doubt ourselves, are signs that our goal has become more important to us. Celebrate the fact that you are feeling more pain at straying from your goal. Then, go on to use that disappointment in yourself as fuel to better your life. Next time you say no to the doughnuts in the breakroom, or go to the gym when you say you are going to, celebrate yourself. acknowledge that you have taken a step towards becoming a better you. Next time you drop the ball and disappoint yourself, remember the fact that you are experiencing growing pains is a blessing. You are growing and it is not always easy, but you are taking a step in the right direction.

MAKE EVERY MOMENT WORTHWHILE

As I recently turned 50, life can be filled with lots of reflection. This is true no matter what your age, but as the years tick by, we are more likely to reflect on “The good old days.” The crazy part is that we seldom realized they were going to be the ‘good old days’ when we were experiencing them. In that very statement is another secret to an amazing life. While it does us no harm to reflect on good moments we have had, let us realize we are still having good moments now. It is up to us to be present enough to approach them with appreciation and love.

Allow me to share a personal example of this with you. As I write this, I am sitting in a coffee shop. This particular location used to be about a half a mile down the road. It was right next to a hamburger place where you could bring your food and custard over to enjoy with your coffee. It was bigger and had more places to sit. When I reflect upon many of the memories I have had there, including writing a good portion of a few of my books, it makes me long for the ‘good old days’. What seems to fade from memory is many of the troubles of the ‘good old days’. Due to the hamburger place, parking spots were not always available. In the winter, snow took up many of the parking spots as well.

In addition to forgetting things that might not have been that good about the good old days, we should appreciate the things that are good about the present good old days. The staff at this new location are friendly and fabulous for the most part. The new location is close to a different restaurant and also a grocery store and several other shopping locations. This is handy if your fiancée may want to shop as you work on a daily motivational blog…hypothetically. Yes, it is smaller but I guess that makes is a little cozier. Not sure how the snow removal and parking will be this winter, but it could be better.

Life is a lot like this coffee shop. We can focus on what we miss about the past, or we can appreciate and love what we have in the present. Understand that the present will be the ‘good old days’ of the future. What will we reflect on tomorrow that is great today? It is up to us to discover and focus on that today.

HOW TO TURN ON THE LIGHT IN A WORLD OF DARKNESS

Last post we touched on how important it is to go from cursing the darkness, to being part of the light. This is one of the quickest ways in which we will bring about a global change that will make the world better for us all. After yesterday’s post, there were some questions in regard to the best ways to be a light in a world of darkness. There were a few that were mentioned, but today we are going to touch on a few more so that your week ahead will be filled with more light and less darkness.

We will start with what I believe is the biggest source of light you can own – an attitude of gratitude. Before we get started on why this is so, I must thank Eduardo from Italy who reminded me of the power of this light. Think of turning on a light in a dark room. The darkness is gone. Both light and darkness cannot exist in the same space at the same time. This is true in the physical realm, but what about the emotional and spiritual? Also the same. When we are a light emotionally and spiritually, at least for the moment we are being so, there can be no darkness. The best way to do this is to be grateful. When we are focused on what we have to be grateful for, really focused, we cannot be focused on what we are fearful of, angry about or whatever negative emotion threatens to derail us.

Let me assure you it can be very difficult to be grateful when the world is dark. This takes practice and the more you do it, the easier it will become. Why go through all of the effort? If you eventually are able to feel grateful, even when your world seems darkest, you will have unlocked the key to an amazing life. There is nothing more worth the effort. That is not to say it is easy to accomplish. Looking at the quote above, it gives us an idea of how to be grateful for the struggles. Let struggles teach you patience, and failure remind you that there is still room to grow. Again, this will not be easy but if you keep at it, the reward will be an amazing life.

There we have it. How to be the light. A few more suggestions I really like in the quote above. Be your own sunrise. I even like how that sounds. Speak words that heal. How powerful is that? Especially in a world filled with gossip and doom speaking! Act with purpose and think with kindness are two ways to fast track your life to be amazing. I look forward to all of you becoming more of a light with me. Let us all work a little harder to bring the light and curse the darkness a little less.

HOW TO MAKE DARKNESS DISAPPEAR

If you have read either of my first 2 books, you know the story about the quote that inspired my personal and life transformation. It was “Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”

There does appear to be a lot of darkness in the world these days. What we need is more light. We can all be a part of this solution. There are some great suggestions in the quote above. Be kind to yourself, love others and stay hopeful. It mentions when the path is unclear. I say try to develop an attitude of positive expectation. Even when life is going sideways, if you expect something positive to happen, eventually you will be right!

Remember, you can’t curse the darkness away in life anymore than you can in a darkened room. What do you do when you find yourself in a dark room? You turn on a light! Why should it be any different when you find yourself in a dark world? Be the light today. I would love to hear your suggestions for adding light in the comments below. I’ll leave you with the quote that inspired me.

CAN YOU FIND IT?

Here is a 30-day secret to an amazing life – find the beauty in everything. Some things this is easy to do. It could help you to start with those. Find the beauty in a sunrise or sunset. One of my favorites is finding beauty in different tropical  locations. The first week of this challenge, just do that. Find as many beautiful things in your life as you can.

The next week, try the people in your life. Just notice all of the beautiful people in your life. Remember that beauty is not always just skin deep. Some people have beautiful eyes, some people have beautiful souls. Bodies can be beautiful, but so is kindness. Notice how the people in your life are beautiful.

The third and fourth weeks are very similar. On the third week, ask yourself as often as you can, “What is beautiful about this situation?” As mentioned earlier, this should be easier for a sunrise than a root canal. If we look hard enough, we can find beauty in it all. If you can’t at the moment, just relax and let it go. You can even reassure yourself, “Although I cannot find the beauty in this situation at the moment, I’m sure it will occur to me at a later time.” Going to the dentist is not always a beautiful situation, but how much better it allows you to feel is.

Lastly, do the same with people. Ask yourself, “What is beautiful about this person?” When I do this with the woman  I love, it could take all day. In that case, ask yourself what you are finding beautiful about that person at the moment. This is easy when you are around people you care about, unless you are in the middle of a disagreement. In which case, it can be even more powerful to ask yourself what you find beautiful about them.

Again, this is far easier to do for some people than others. If there is a customer tearing into you for no good reason, it can be hard to find the beauty in that. Maybe it is just that they are helping you strengthen your patience or resilience? Often the beauty in things can only be seen in hindsight. Just like with situations, if you can’t find the beauty in a person, let it go and remind yourself it may occur to you later.

What is the purpose of all of this? The more we look for beauty, the more likely we are to find it. There is so much beauty in our lives that we miss much of it. Changing our focus to find it will make our lives more beautiful.

IT STARTED TODAY!

Oh to be young and invincible again. When I look back at my life and all of the crazy things I have done, I sure do regret a few. What many of you may not know, is the fact that I wrote an autobiography. In recalling a lot of the partying, physical stunts and sleep deprivation, I am beginning to understand some of the problems I have today.

Depending on what age you are when you read this, you are either nodding your head in agreement or thinking it can’t happen to you. Our life can be equated to one of those giant cruise ships that sail in the Caribbean. One day I’m hoping to be on one. They way in which one of those ships and our life is alike is how they change course. You can’t turn one of those ships on a dime. No, it takes time and a good deal of planning.

Our life is like that ship. We can change direction, but to turn it all around takes some time. It works in both the positive and the negative. We saw examples of the negative above. The same is true in the positive. You want a good body? It can start today, but it takes time. We can change the direction of our life today with the decisions we are making. Where will the decisions you are making take you in ten or fifteen years?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?

This great stoic quote speaks to a power many of us leave to chance. When was the last time you paid attention to your thoughts? Many people feel their thoughts are something that are thrust upon them. That they come out of nowhere.

Let us take it a step further. When was the last time you decided what you were going to think about? Yes, you really can do this. It can be very beneficial to set aside at the very least, 5 to 10 minutes a day to do some focused thinking. It can be thinking about what you are grateful for. This could change your life faster than you can imagine. It could be thinking about how it will feel when a goal is reached or accomplished.

We think an average of 60,000 thoughts a day. According to research 80% of that is negative. Further research indicates that 95% of our thoughts are repetitive! Think about that. We are thinking 95% of the same things, 80% of which are negative, and wondering why our life is not improving or changing.

By not utilizing focused thinking, I feel we are missing a great opportunity. Setting aside 5 minutes a day, which is less than .5% of your day, can make a huge difference. What if you used those minutes as a chance to practice some positive self-talk? How about picking someone we love and spending 5 minutes thinking about how we can improve our relationship with them? The difference could be life-changing!

Let me know what you will spend your 5 minutes thinking about.