Tag: mindset

MAKE HELL A HEAVEN 👼

When I grabbed this quote, I liked many things about it. It is very close to what we discussed a few posts ago how your mind and body do not have to be in the same place at the same time. Before we get into the actual quote, I have to share something about it. What made me laugh after further inspection was where this quote came from. When I was a senior in high school, I did not do well at English class. As mentioned in my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, my teacher even told me, “I pray to God you will never have a career in writing.” At the time it was a fair assessment. Three books and over twenty five hundred blog posts later, maybe not so much. One of the reasons the teacher thought this way is my lack of appreciation of classic literature. When I read something, I like to be able to enjoy it and not search for what it is supposed to mean. Give me the story straight I say. The story that stands out the most in this regard? You guessed it, Paradise Lost. The very story today’s quote comes from.

Now that we have had some humorous back story, let us look at the quote itself. The very first part I find intriguing. “The mind is its own place…” How many of us stop and think of the mind that way? Many things only exist in the mind. Fear is a great example. It is created by, and exists solely in the mind. Many of the stresses in our lives reside between our own two ears. The mind has its own dialogue. As Mr. Milton goes on to explain, “…and in itself, can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” What this means to me is that the mind we bring to a situation goes a long way to determine the quality of the situation.

This is the reason that you can see two people in exactly the same situation, but one is happy and one is miserable. One place I see this a lot is at the gym. Some people working out there look miserable. Some are lifting weights with smiles on their faces. If you stopped and focused on everything you have to do to get to the gym and get a workout, coupled with how sore you might feel after, it would be a pretty miserable experience. You also wouldn’t show up that often, or for that long. If you were to change that focus and realize that every rep of weights and every step of cardio are getting you that much closer to being the healthy person you are working to become, you would be motivated to keep pushing on.

This holds true in any situation in life. At a funeral for example. We can think about the regret of moments lost or never pursued. It will expand the pain and make the feelings of hurt and loss that much greater. We could also focus on the fond memories we have with the dearly departed and ponder ways in which we will honor their memory. This may very well help ease the pain and may even see a smile cross our face as we think about a silly or happy memory.

Switching focus is a great way to control what kind of place the mind is, a heaven or a hell. When I find myself in particularly trying situations, I ask how I can use that to serve others. This obviously does not change my circumstances, but it certainly changes the person I bring to them. Finding ways to bring happiness and gratitude to any situation can turn a hell into a heaven. I would love to hear your secrets for making your mind a positive place to be.

IN MY LIFE THIS HAS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE 🤔

This simple phrase has unlocked an entirely different life for me. This is not an exaggeration. It is not hyperbole. Wherever you are reading this, take a look at the people around you. If you are by yourself, imagine the people in your life. Most of them do not operate on this principle.

The majority of the world spends their time focused on influencing outside circumstances. How much control do you have over other people, places and things in your life? Limited at best. Energy spent on these endeavors is not well spent. Conversely, how much control do you have over you?

The man who wrote this spent part of his life in a concentration camp. In there, he had zero control of outside circumstances. He realized what he did have control of was his mind. It is the same with you and I. Our circumstances are not anywhere near as dire.

Think of it like this. You are driving in your car and you want to go to Walmart. Would you just keep driving straight and hope someone builds a Walmart in front of your car? As asinine as that sounds, that is what we are doing when we are wishing the boss would become better, our spouse would be more loving, the economy would get better.

Here’s a thought. Grab the steering wheel and drive to a Walmart. What I mean by that is to take control of your life and direct it where you want it to go.  Your boss sucks? Maybe they are motivating you to find a better job? Your spouse not as loving as you would like? They are providing you an opportunity to brush up on your own courting skills. The economy is a little tough? Work on creative spending and savings plans.

It is about the choice from going from a victim mentality to a victory mentality. Don’t wait for the waves to change direction. Adjust your rudder and sail and get there no matter what the waves are like. Conquer the ocean of life!

NO MATTER THE WEATHER 🌱

My mother suggested that I use more pictures of my favorite lovable bear, Winnie-the-Pooh, in my posts. This particular picture fits what we are going to talk about today. As you read this, it is the last day of March. This year, spring has seen its share of up and down temperatures where I live. The first day of spring was nice with the thermometer hitting about 50°. A few days later we got 8 inches of snow. For someone who dreads winter, and looks forward to the coming of spring, this is hard to take. Still, knowing the snow should only stick around for a little while, and the possibility of warmer temps any day now, makes it somehow easier to deal with. This thought was bouncing around my head the other morning as I drove to work on icy roads.

If this snowfall occurred in late fall, when the future held cold and more snow, it would be a little more depressing. Knowing that the snow would melt in short order, somehow made the stressful drive a little easier that morning. Same conditions, but the mindset was entirely different. What does all of this have to do with living an amazing life? It was a great example that mindset plays into the level of stress and ability to withstand challenges. It also demonstrated why having a compelling future allows us to make it through a struggling present.

A personal example is my fourth book. I am working on it as we speak. I know there will be long nights of writing thousands of words that may not even be included. There will be tossing and turning because sleep is prevented by ideas bouncing around in my head. There will be weeks of editing, which I enjoy slightly more than a trip to the dentist. If I placed my focus on that, it would be very hard to continue. What I am focused on is positively impacting the lives of millions across the globe! I am thinking about having a book signing that will benefit charity. Having that compelling future will allow me to push through all of the challenges I mentioned.

In your own life, have a compelling future for any endeavor you are embarking on. Another important aspect that we can use, is making sure that future is positive. My third book failed to live up to my expectations. Am I worried or concerned that my fourth might do the same? Not at all. It only drives me to make sure the quality only improves with this latest book. There are certain things beyond our control. We cannot worry about them. We can only focus on what we can control and do it to the best of our ability. Mindset can turn a test into a testimony.

TROUBLE GETTING TO PARADISE 🇧🇸

I’m writing to you from the Bahamas. Warwick Paradise Island to be exact. Margie and I have had a great time here so far. Hats off to Benjamin Davis and his crew. The food has been great, the staff friendly. We have had some amazing adventures as well. Getting here… that was a different story.

We were scheduled to fly American Airlines out of Milwaukee. We arrived at the airport at 3:30 am, thanks to my mother. We boarded our plane at 5:30am, excited to be in the tropics. After 2 hours of sitting still on a plane, they told everyone to get off as the plane was broken. They told us we were being ‘automatically rebooked’. I checked their app to discover they had no more flights until the next day.

Lucky for us, I got a call saying they could put us on Jetblue Airlines and we could still make it to the Bahamas, only a few hours later. We ended up with a layover in New York. We were told we should go to gate 7 in New York. We did as we were told. We waited and waited..I ventured a walk to the schedule board. Our flight had been moved to gate 10 and was boarding in 5 minutes. We ran through JFK Airport, which is no small task. Got the last 2 seats available. When we arrived in the Bahamas, we discovered only 3 of the 4 wheels on my suitcase did. We arrived at our hotel at 8pm, a mere 6 hours after we were scheduled to.

You may think this sounds hellish, and perhaps in some ways it was. Here is the funny thing. We arrived at our resort happy and ready to get our vacation started. Why? We had made the best of our challenges. We got pizza and a cheese steak in New York, because you just have to. We focused on being grateful we made it to the Bahamas.

This is proof it is more important who you travel with rather than where you travel to. It is also important you focus on the positive and make the best of your situation. It not only makes your vacation better, but helps create better memories.

This is a great life lesson you can start practicing today. Although I’m going to do my best to convince Margie that I need more trips to the Bahamas to practice. In reality, there are always opportunities to practice, and strengthen, your ability to make the best of, and rise above, your challenges.

NOT PUNISHMENT, PREPARATION ✊️

It is Friday, and it seems like we have been waiting forever for the weekend. What we should have been doing is preparing for it. What do I mean by that? When you find yourself in any situation where you are waiting for a goal, be that the weekend or a business of your own, use that time to prepare for its arrival. The weekend, for example, can often seem fleeting. Preparing to squeeze as much joy and life out of those 48 hours can make it that much mor enjoyable.

This doesn’t mean that you have to account for each and every second of time. That can often take some of the joy away from that time. What you can do is look forward to ever moment you get to spend. Find ways to be present. This is a key to slowing time down. We will dive deeper into that in a future post. Know that if you are too busy looking forward to the next thing, you will fail to fully appreciate the current thing. It can be a fine balance to walk, but one that makes all of the difference.

Often, the longer you have to prepare, the more amazing the goal is when you finally achieve it. It may allow something to occur to you that you had not thought of. It may allow you to be able to soak in and appreciate your accomplishment more than you would have if you had not had the time to prepare.

Does this really make that big of a difference? It just reminded me of a quick story I would like to share with you. It involves Rodney Dangerfield, who was one of the most popular comics of the 1980’s. He was in movies, on talk shows and performed in front of sold out crowds. He even owned his own night club. It was at this night club where our story takes place. Norm Macdonald, another comic was performing there when Rodney walked in. The crowd went so crazy, that Rodney had to tell of few jokes in the middle of Norm’s set to appease the crowd. After the night was over and the club was closing up, Norm approached Rodney who was having a cocktail at the bar. “Wow, you sure are popular. It must feel great to be so loved and successful.” Norm said. Rodney looked at him, slammed his drink and replied, “No, it sucks. It should have happened years ago.” Here is a man who was wildly successful but couldn’t enjoy it because it happened too late for his liking. Rodney died still bitter his success came too late instead of elated it came. He viewed the wait as a punishment and it ruined his entire life. Do not let that happen to you.

IT IS HARD TO BE LED BY YOUR BUTT 🍑

Can you imagine walking everywhere leading with your butt? Just picture that for a second, walking into a room butt first. How ridiculous would that be? Some people seem to lead into every conversation talking out of this, but that is a matter for a different post. It is obvious that you would not want to lead with your butt in life. It would really make it difficult to see where you are going. It would also create several obstacles where there should be none. Think about trying to open a door butt first. This would be difficult, if not impossible. How about driving butt first? Not only very dangerous, but could be fatal. All of these, and more, would be so much easier if we would just leave the butt where it belongs – behind us.

Not recommended

Other than highlighting things that would be comical or dangerous to be done being led by your posterior, and providing some comic relief in your day, what does all of this have to do with living an amazing life? Before I answer that question, let me share that looking up “Images of a butt” to write this blog is not something you would want to do in a public space…say like Starbucks. The reason we are discussing this today is far too many of us to go through life leading with our butt. Before you stop me and say although you have seen people driving who resemble a butt, they are usually facing the right way, we are not talking about the body part.

Today we are talking about people who are led by the word, and worse the thought, ‘but’. You know the people I am talking about. The ones who say, “I could have a better job, BUT” or “I would take better care of my health BUT” They are leaving room for their excuses. I understand that in life there are plenty of obstacles. It can be easy to through out a ‘but’ here and there to excuse our lack of progress, or even sometimes lack of effort.

When it comes to any project or goal we are pursuing, if we lead with a ‘but’ we are no likely to succeed than that poor individual trying to open the door with the seat given to them by mother nature. When we begin with a ‘but’ we are highlighting our obstacles and short-circuiting our success. Yes, there will be challenges along the way. However, using them as an excuse will have us looking like the young man on the toilet in the picture above. Do not lead with your butt. Much like the physical example, doing so in word and thought will create obstacles where there was none and make every situation more difficult.

Get the ‘buts’ out of your life. If you find yourself uttering this phrase, or thinking this way, too often, realize that you cannot lead with your butt. Picture our friend trying to open the door, people facing the wrong way behind the wheel or even our toddler confused in the restroom. They all look really silly, and so will you. Do not let ‘but’ ruin your chance for success. Just like when you are walking through life, make sure the ‘buts’ stay where they belong – behind you.

3 KEYS TO THE LIFE YOU WANT

Reaching the life we desire can seem like a long, complicated and difficult road. It should not be. How to be successful is not a great mystery. In fact, it can be accomplished with just 3 words. We will take them one at a time to show you how you can go from the life you have to the life you love quicker than you ever thought possible. If you would like to expand on these ideas, I would suggest grabbing one of my books off Amazon. I will put the link at the end of this post.

The first word is mindset. If there is anything that determines the success or failure of an endeavor, it is the attitude in which it is begun. If you know that there will be challenges and you are prepared to meet them and keep your head up, you are far more likely to succeed than someone who considers every obstacle a closed door. There are many great secrets to improving your mindset. Again, some are included in my book, Living the Dream. There is a whole section on developing a champions mindset. Wherever you find the tools and strategies that work for you, keep learning and developing your mindset.

Bruce Lee brings us our second word – focus. I heard an analogy that really makes it clear. If you hit a tree with an ax in a thousand different places, not much will happen. If, however, you hit that same tree a thousand times in the same place, you will cut down that tree. This can be applied to both our goals and obstacles in life. If we stay focused and apply action in a focused nature, we will achieve them. If we act randomly on several different goals, bouncing from one to another, we will achieve very little if anything at all. As the saying goes, if you try to chase two rabbits at the same time, you will not catch any. This is why multi-tasking is such a fallacy. You would be far better to apply all of your effort towards a single goal and moving on to the next one.

Our third and final key to the life you desire is consistency. Nothing is more frustrating than feeling like we are working forever on a goal and it is no nearer than when we started. As so often is the case, this can best be demonstrated in the realm of fitness. We feel like we have been working out forever and still we resemble that loveable man on the biscuit container. If we are honest with ourselves, we will find the missing key is consistency. We workout on Saturday when we have slept in and had a good breakfast. Monday comes and we are not about to get up early. After our first day of the work week is done, we are feeling exhausted and certainly not up for a workout. One day won’t make a difference, right? Tuesday we have to catch up on all of our errands we were too tired to do on Monday. Here is Hump day, Wednesday, we may pop in the gym for a little workout after work, but don’t have the energy we used to. Friday comes and we have so many social obligations, we just don’t have time for the gym. Next week we will do better we say. Perhaps we do. If we continue in this up down fashion, we are unlikely to see any real results. We must do the actions consistently. This is also helped by having a determined mindset and being focused on achieving the result. As you see, they all go hand in hand.

When it comes to your life, apply these three words to whatever goal you are after and you will be amazed with how quick you will see it materialize. Mindset, focus and consistency are the three keys that will unlock any door. What door are you looking to open and how can you apply these three keys to get there?

CLICK HERE TO GET ANY OR ALL OF MY BOOKS😀

WHY YOU ARE SO UNCOMFORTABLE

This is a mindset I use quite often. There are days, I’m sure we all had them, where you just can’t seem to catch a break. You may be endeavoring to do something really good for yourself and others. There are times when one thing after another goes wrong. You can be left wondering why. Maybe it is because you were meant for greatness in another field.

This can be true in many different areas of your life. Are you working hard at your job but the boss is still a jerk? It could be you should be working elsewhere. Doing your best to be romantic and loving with your partner, but all you ever seem to do is fight? There may be a partner that is more compatible with you out there.

All of these examples are not to say you should think it is the other guy. Check yourself first. Make sure you are doing the best you can, and more importantly, being the best person you can. If so, maybe that is a power greater than ourselves pushing us in a different direction.

TELEVISION SET OR MINDSET?

This morning as I was busy working on different errands that were productive, I was also listening to some great motivational/inspirational videos. Not only do they offer encouragement to accomplish the mundane tasks in which I was employed, but they can bring to light new ideas, or old ideas in a new light. This often gets the brain up and working and fosters some of the very posts you read here. This morning I heard a man observe that in today’s world, more people spend time worrying about their television set than their mindset. I do suppose you can replace television set with tablet, cell phone or computer and the fact remains the same, it just doesn’t sound as catchy.

This got me thinking about several facts. Are you aware there was a recent study to determine the average time a person in the US spends on their cell phone in a day? Can you guess what that number may be? 3 hours and 43 minutes! That means the average person spends 1/6 of their day staring at their cell phone. Much of this is geared towards social media and entertainment. If we add that to the time spent watching television, playing video games and a host of other sources of recreation, we would be well over the 4 hour mark. Let us just keep it at 4 hours for simple math. Can you imagine if you spent that same amount of time concerned with improving your mindset? Reading, meditating or practicing different mind-enhancing activities? How about half of that time? Say you split the difference and spent 2 hours on your phone and 2 hours reading for example. Do you think that could have a big impact on your life? What could giving up 2 hours of time spent in front of the television or cell phone or playing video games and using it to enhance the gray matter between your ears? You could learn another language. Maybe work on starting your own business? Learn the embalming secrets of the Ancient Egyptians or whatever else would make you smile and put you on the path of success.

Today, ask yourself if you are spending more time in front of the television set (or phone or computer) verses working on your mindset. Is there some time you could allocate to mind-enhancing activities? Just for an hour, put down the phone and pick up a book, meditate or just sit and enjoy some nature. Make sure you are getting valuable ROI (return on investment) from your daily activities. Certainly, spend some time on enjoyable activities, but not to the detriment of accomplishing anything.

IT’S ALL IN HOW YOU LOOK AT IT

I would love to share a story about one of the most unique gifts that I received for my birthday, which was July 29th. It was from the fabulous city of Lake Geneva, here in Wisconsin where I live. Margie, in her very loving manner, planned a surprise for me. We drove out to Lake Geneva, which is about 45 minutes away. She had an address typed into my GPS so I did not know where I was going. When we arrived at the destination, there seemed to be less parking spaces than there were cars looking for them. Whatever this surprise was, it was due to happen at a certain time which was rapidly approaching. We circled the area for several minutes getting a little more nervous with every second that ticked off the clock.

Then it happened. I circled the block and there was a spot right in front of where we were going. Someone had just vacated and I pulled in. We celebrated our good fortune and hastened to our send off spot. I discovered this was a port and we were to get on a boat. This took you around the lake that gave the city of Lake Geneva its name. It was a guided tour that explained each of the houses on the side of the lake. They belonged to business tycoons such as Wrigley and Nabisco. During this informative trip out on lake, they also served us a delicious ice cream sundae. Margie relaxed in my arms as we listened to the information tell us all about the lake and the people who lived there. By all accounts it was a wonderful experience.

the boat we were on

As the tour ended and we began to pile off the boat, I felt sorry for all of the people who parked far away. After such a relaxing tour, some had to walk quite a way back to their vehicles. I felt grateful for our good luck in finding an open spot so close to the boat. Then I saw it – a little piece of paper under the windshield wiper. About 6 stalls down from where we parked there was a “metered parking” sign. Not familiar with the area, and in such a hurry I did not stop to look around. Margie was rather upset. Having planned this fun excursion, she did not want it dampened by a citation. I was a lot less bothered. It is true that I did park illegally. It was also true that it wasn’t very clear that it was a metered spot. Still, I did commit the infraction. It even had my birthday on the ticket. It was only $20 and gave me a good little chuckle. Seeing how upset Margie was and how worried she was that it might lessen my ability to enjoy my birthday, melted my heart. It was a great sign of how she really cares.

To me, this parking ticket will remind me of the fun boat tour we went on. It will remind of all the neat things we learned as she relaxed in my arms. It will remind me how we laughed as we enjoyed our ice cream. It will remind me of how much she cares and how she was so worried that it might impact my ability to enjoy my birthday. It will even remind me of the other cool surprise of the day. We went to a drive through safari! There were bison, camels, emus and lots of other animals that would come right up to the car. The bison even stuck his head in and grabbed the bucket of food right out of Margie’s hand. We had a big laugh about that. This one ticket will forever remind me of all of this.

I certainly could have let the ticket ruin the fun times we were having. What good would that have done? I knew Margie felt bad as it was and if I would have gotten upset it would have only served to make her feel worse. At the end of all of that, I still would have owed $20 to the city of Lake Geneva. I could have focused on how poorly the signs were placed for someone unfamiliar with the city. I could have called and yelled at the city clerk. Sure, maybe they would have thrown out the ticket, but at what cost to me? Loss of peace of mind and quite possibly one of the best days I have had in a long time. I would have also made the love of my life feel terrible when she worked so hard to plan everything. That would have been inconsiderate. Instead, I am using this ticket as a physical reminder of all the fun we had that day and the amazing lady I had that planned it all. Plus, I hope the few dollars I spent on the ticket went to do some good for the city that hosted all of that fun and the people who work in it. Can you think of a situation that you can turn around and use for your advantage?