One of the great secrets of life we seem to be losing is the ability of being truly present. There are cell phones which keep us focused on anything but what,or who, is in front of us. It is not just technology. Many people are preoccupied with fear and worry. What could go wrong? They often miss what is going right.
It is not just negative things either. I’ve seen people walking in a beautiful natural setting focused solely on how many calories they are burning, and missing the beautiful birds, trees and animals all around them. It would seem we are too busy worrying about life, looking at other people’s lives and trying to improve our own life to actually experience life.
One good way I have found to help is stay focused is kind if counter-intuitive. Pretend you are acting in the movie of your life. When an actor is playing a roll, they have to be extremely focused. They pay attention to their lines (what they are saying) but also to how they deliver them. (How they are saying what they are saying) They consider how their performance will make the audience (other people in our lives) feel.
This is also a good way to become the type of person you want to be. When we think about how that person would act talk and think to play that roll, we can adjust our behavior to fill that roll. Eventually, we become that person. Want to be a person who has good control of their emotions? How about someone who makes others feel good about themselves? Try to act as they would. Soon, you will become them.
As a bonus, you will be intensely focused on the moment. You will see the birds and the animals. You will enjoy the company of the person in front of you and not the person on the screen you are staring at.
The title of this post may sound counter intuitive to most, but that is precisely why it is so important. Doing nothing is often frowned upon. This is especially true in this material driven world we live in. We are made to believe if we are not working away on some chosen project, we are somehow guilty of a modern world sin. This could be housework, physical fitness, grocery shopping or pretty much any goal-driven activity. Even worse, we were told for a while that we should be a great multi tasker. Further research shows this is not only bad for productivity, but can lead to burnout. That is a subject for another post.
Even relaxing has us searching for distraction. We have our Ipods, books,tablets or phones. It feels we have to be doing something even when we are doing nothing. We can’t even relax completely. It is in this world of never ending motion that we find ourselves in a constant state of physical and mental stress burnout. This leads to a loss of productivity. It also suppresses our immune system. This, of course,leads to illness.
What can we get from doing nothing? How on earth can it be productive? So glad you asked. Doing nothing gives our brains a chance to cleanse themselves. It gives our bodies, and our minds, a chance to decompress. This allows us to return to our busy bee life with more energy, and more importantly, more resilience. It gives our immune system a chance to repair and re-energize. This keeps us healthy. It can refresh our spirit. In addition to reducing the likelihood of burnout, it also helps reduce the risk of depression and overwhelming.
As amazing as all of those benefits are, to me, they are not the best thing one can get from doing nothing. My favorite benefit is the creation of great thoughts and ideas. When I wrote my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, I had plenty of time to think. It took me roughly a year. After which, I started writing for several magazines, a food review site, and my blog. All this while working full time at the post office and working as a DJ. Factor in a relationship with the world’s most beautiful woman and my dance card was full.
With six jobs and a great relationship, my second book, Living the Dream, took 5 years to write. The funny thing was that was not due so much to lack of time writing, but lack of time just being. When we are alone with our thoughts, that is when they seem to appear. You can’t call someone if the line is always busy. If it is busy long enough, you stop calling all together.
Leading up to my heart surgery, I wrote like a man possessed. I wanted to get out as much content as possible in case I found myself on the other side of the great divide. I feel the quality suffered. Without time to sit and think, my brain could not come up with any new brilliant ideas. If it did, I was too busy to hear them.
After my surgery, I was forced to take 3 months to do nothing. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t go to the gym. I was instructed to just relax. Guess what happened? Ideas started to come to me all day long. Perhaps they had always been there, but now I was free enough to notice them. My third book was written in 6 short months. (It should be available late July/early August) I also started to think of new ways to improve my life…in all areas.
My favorite thought happened when I began to write. Often, when I sit down at a coffee shop to write, my mind is filled with thoughts that have nothing to do with writing. Most often, those thoughts are of my beautiful Margie. Either I am missing her because we have not seen hardly enough of each other, or I am missing her because I just had some amazing moments with her. Before my surgery, I would try to focus and ‘persevere’. After my surgery, I thought to myself, I’m going to enjoy these thoughts.
What happened next was a miracle. My love for my beautiful woman began to increase exponentially! Just when I thought I could not love her more, a new reason, memory or idea how would pop in my head. I began to think of new ways in which I could both make her happy and improve our relationship. The best part was,once my heart was full of love, the writing just flowed.
I went home to my little miracle more in love and excited to share my life with her than when I had left. All of this was made possible because I took the time to do nothing. Can you imagine the positive impact that had on our relationship? Think of the impact it could have on yours, or any area of your life you stop and think about. Do nothing for a little while today. It might be the most productive thing you do.
WE ARE IN THE LAST WEEK OF THE LAST MONTH OF THE YEAR! CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW TIME FLIES? THIS WILL BE THE LAST TUESDAY OF 2021. WHILE SOME OF US ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO A NEW YEAR AND NEW POSSIBILITIES, THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR THE TIME WE HAVE LEFT.
WHEN YOU THINK OF THE FACT THAT WE WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER TUESDAY IN 2021 AGAIN, IT SOUNDS RATHER FINAL. MY SUGGESTION IS TO SQUEEZE EVERY LAST DROP OF LOVE, JOY AND HAPPINESS OUT OF IT. HOW? BY BEING PRESENT.
THIS MORNING I WAS DRIVING BY MYSELF TO WORK WHEN I HAD ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS WE ALL HAVE. I LOOKED AROUND TO DISCOVER I WAS ALMOST HALFWAY THERE! I SERIOUSLY WONDERED WHO DROVE THE FIRST HALF! DID I MENTION I WAS ALONE IN THE CAR?
WE SO OFTEN GET LOST IN OUR THOUGHTS OR OTHER DISTRACTIONS THAT WE MISS THE JOY OF LIFE AROUND US. WE ARE THINKING ABOUT WHAT WE HAVE TO DO THAT DAY, SOMETHING THAT MIGHT BE TROUBLING US, OR EVEN WHAT WE ARE HAVING FOR DINNER. IN MY CASE, I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT IN 2 WEEKS I’LL BE UNDERGOING OPEN-HEART SURGERY. THE CRAZY PART IS THAT ALL OF THIS OVER-THINKING AND WORRY GETS US NOWHERE.
BEFORE WE KNOW IT, OUR LIFE, MUCH LIKE THE FIRST HALF OF MY COMMUTE, WILL HAVE PASSED US BY UNNOTICED AND UNAPPRECIATED. STARTING TODAY, LET US ENJOY THE LAST WEEK OF THE YEAR TO THE FULLEST. LET US BE TOTALLY PRESENT IN OUR LIVES. WHETHER THAT BE ENJOYING A GOOD CUP OF COFFEE WITH ALL OF OUR SENSES, LISTENING INTENSELY TO OUR PARTNER AND FRIENDS OR SIMPLY NOTICING THE BEAUTY ON OUR MORNING COMMUTE. DO NOT LET THIS WEEK, OR ANY OF YOUR LIFE, PASS BY WITHOUT BEING PRESENT IN IT.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 