Recently, I had the great pleasure of interviewing the owner of an amazing restaurant near me called Wild Roots. What he had to say about his restaurant was certainly wonderful. What really impressed me was the part where he said how important the mental health of his staff was and how he remindseveryone of that.
Being that yesterday was mental health day, I thought this would be a good interview to watch. Click the link below to be taken to my YouTube channel where you can watch that video, along with over 100 other videos on various self-improvement topics.
Today is Friday the 13th. Many people view this day as a scary superstition. Do you know what I think is scary? Walking around with a dirty mind. No, not that kind of dirty mind. One that is filled with negativity and unnecessary worry. We are all a little guilty of that at times. If we look around at the world we are living in, it is no wonder. News, some things on the internet, even members of our social circle can have us seeing the storm in every rainbow.
What is the big deal about having dirt in your mind? Not much if you clear it out. If left to fester long enough, like real dirt, the consequences can start to mount up. It will affect your mental health. You may find yourself more on edge. You might experience brain fog or have difficulty concentrating. This can only add to the negative experiences in your life. Keep it up long enough and you will see physical results. You will feel tired and run down. You might develop ulcers or have a depressed immune system.
How on earth can you clean your mind? It is not like you can stick a cleaning brush in your brain. Consuming any kind of bleach product is not recommend, despite what you may have heard. Above we have some really good ideas. I would like to touch on a few. I would love to hear your suggestions as well. We can all benefit from sharing our ideas.
The first is to take a hard look at your social circle. I devote an entire section to this in my book, Living the Dream. It amazes me how many people tell me social media is negative. What they see is only drama and negativity. The same is said for what they hear from people. I stare at them blankly and ask them who controls what they see on their social media page? If there are people and pages that do not bring you joy, get rid of them! Better yet, add pages that bring joy to your heart. That could be things that make you smile or even just hobbies you enjoy. As for people? Keep your circle small. If someone is a constant source of drama, limit or eliminate the time you are around them. Better yet, spend more time around people you find uplifting!
Above you will see other amazing suggestions. These range from meditating to going for a walk in nature. I would love to not only hear which one is your favorite, but if you have any suggestion or ideas which help clear your mind.
I want to talk about your health for a second. Not your physical health. Not even mental health, which finally is getting the attention it deserves. I want to talk about the health of your spirit and how important it is to pay attention to. Have you ever “Woken up on the wrong side of the bed”? You know those days you wake up feeling irritable and you might not even know why? I am sure it is a feeling we all have.
I get up for work 6 days a week at 4am. Let me tell you that I cannot recall a day I felt like jumping out of bed looking forward to going to work. For someone who loves to have a social life and enjoy time with his beautiful bride-to-be, getting up that early is quite a task. However, I also light keeping the lights on and getting gifts for the afore-mentioned beautiful lady. By the time I get to work around 5, the coffee has kicked in and I am usually in pretty good spirits.
This morning was different. I woke up and felt beyond irritable. Like I was mad at the world. This is a very rare state to find myself in. As I sat up in bed, it was apparent that something in my spirit was quite disturbed. I made a decision that I rarely, if ever, make – I called into work. I knew if I were to approach my coworkers in such a state, or if my boss made a questionable comment or decision in regards to me, I might be tempted to say or do something I would regret and be unable to take back.
I am not advocating calling in sick every time you do not feel like going to work. For the year, I believe this is only the second time I have called in sick. What I am telling you to do is to take care of your spirit. Not doing so can not only create some of the negative situations I mentioned above, but it can affect your mental and physical health as well.
This may be an analogy that has been repeated all too often in self-improvement circles, but it has value in repeating. As you are given a safety talk in an airplane, they tell you to secure your oxygen mask before helping other around you. Why? You are really unable to help anyone if you are unable to breathe yourself. How many of us forget to apply this common sense knowledge to the rest of our life? It is easy to put our own mental, and often physical, health at risk for the benefits of others. Done long enough and we could have a breakdown, either a mental or physical.
Here is something else to consider. A slightly different lesson to be had in all of this. Do you know what happens when everyone puts their own masks on? You have a bunch of people breathing. That is always good. What happens if you have a plane full of people who are more concerned how Bob puts on his mask, or how Betty’s hair looks when she places the mask over her face? Suddenly, they find themselves struggling with their own breathing.
In a quick recap, here are the two lessons to be had in our airplane service talk. First lesson. If you do not take care of your own mental and physical health, you will be ill-equipped to assist anyone in theirs. Dare I say, the better your mental and physical health, the better you will be able to help others. This being said, an investment in yourself is also an investment in the well-being of those you care about. Second lesson. Focusing on others lives instead of your own, only causes pain and suffering for yourself in the long run. Make sure your life is in order before spending too much time worrying about what Bob or Betty are doing in their lives. Sense our life is one never ending journey to improve ourselves…you guessed it…don’t worry about what others are doing. Just focus on being the best version of yourself and you will have an amazing life.
Last post, I spoke about Margie and I recently attending a Pow Wow. We further discussed the great sense of community and I told you that we made a new friend who represented a great cause. Today, I would like to share a little bit more with you about that cause and how you can help, if you would like.
The cause is called HIR Wellness (Healing Intergenerational Roots). Their website says that they are “Providing the next generation of care to victims of crime through a survivor and women-led organization.” This is huge. Victims of domestic crime and violence can face an intimidating, and often frightening, road to recovery. This can include having to go through people who often resemble those who committed the very crimes they are doing their best to heal from. Having an organization run not only by women, but by survivors themselves, can lend a feeling of safety and understanding for those seeking help.
We met our new friend Averie, who is the community outreach and stewaredship specialist, at one of HIR Wellness’s CAMPsites. This stands for ‘Community Activated Medicine’. At these campsites, they provide many different services. Including, but not limited to, Wellness-checks, social, emotional and grief support and culturally responsive healing-informed practices. They also teach coping skills and healing interventions and offer triage for more urgent needs or concerns at these CAMPsites as well. By bringing licensed mental health and trained wellness providers, community healers and advocates to shared community spaces, they are helping to overcome many of the obstacles that prevent those who need care the most from getting it. This can range from living in an under-served area to transportation issues.
We have only begun to touch on the amazing work that HIR Wellness does. There is so much more. This includes their virtual work, their healing podcasts and many other services they offer to victims of domestic crime and violence. I cannot encourage you enough to click on the link below to go to their website and learn more about this amazing organization, and more to the point, how you can help support them. If you know of someone who could use their support or services, please share this information with them. Feel free to share this post on your social media and help to get the word out as well. Thank you so much for joining me in bringing to light a very important resource for those in need.
This is the last weekend of my vacation. I have not been eating the best, to put it eloquently. We should all keep an eye on our diet this weekend. As the picture above says, that is far more than just food or drink.
Diet is what we also put into our minds. This can be the depressing news show we are watching. It can be the inspiring book,or blog post, you are reading. Are you listening to someone complaining, or a great audiobook? How about what you put in your spirit? We may not help having to be stuck in traffic, but we can balance that with a walk in nature. Do something everyday that brings you peace.
Pau attention to your diet this weekend. Watch what you put in your body, but also in your mind and your spirit. I would love to hear some things you put in your diet to be healthy. These can be for you mind, body or spirit.
As I make my way through the sea of humanity at the Wisconsin State Fair, I noticed a disturbing trend. That is the amount of negative and sarcastic t-shirts I see people wearing. I’m no fashion mogul, but I find this to be a terrible choice. Here is a sample of what I saw- “when it comes to your opinion, I don’t f#$king care” “you would do the world a favor if you were not here” and one gentleman proudly wearing a shirt (that did appear a size or 2 smaller than it should be) that said “straight out of Uranus” which,I guess, would make him a piece of… you get the idea.
I’m sure when these people purchased these shirts they may of chuckled. Can you imagine reading shirt after shirt with messages like this? I thought about the shirt that said “it would be better if you weren’t here“ All I could think of was how many people are waking around barely hanging on. Even reading such a message on a t-shirt could put them over the edge. Not to mention, having something on your shirt is really the equivalent of waking up and saying it to everyone who reads it. That can be sharing your uninspiring message with a lot of folks.
Here is another crazy thing I saw. Businesses who fill their stands and merchandise with sarcastic and negative items. There was a restaurant who’s shirts say “nobody cares. You suck.” What a great message to be associated with your brand. I’m sure to them is was a humorous and harmless saying on a t-shirt. I would wager some of these people also are asking, “Why is the world becoming such a negative place?”
One shirt with a negative saying may seem harmless enough. Perhaps it is, but filling the world with them seems to be a step in the wrong direction if you ask me. Many of us have days where we struggle just to keep our head above water. Reading messages meant to insult and bring us down at every turn can make that job even harder. Ask yourself this question next time you put that shirt on.What will it accomplish? Would you walk up to everyone you pass and say that to them? Would you want people to walk up and say it to you?
One of the great secrets that I use to make through tough times is taking mini mental vacations. I often tell people that your mind and your body do not have to be in the same place at the same time.
Mini mental vacations can be done in a variety of different ways. You can put on headphones and listen to ocean waves. You can take a short trip to a tanning booth in the middle of winter. You can use some vanilla and coconut essential oils. You could do all 3 at the same time! Having pictures of places you want to visit helps as well. Whatever you can do to take yourself there mentally.
This week, give yourself a mini mental vacation. Take some time to escape from the stress of the work week. It will be good for your health and good for your productivity in the long run.
When something is scarce, it becomes valuable. The less there is of it, the more valuable it becomes. Coffee, for example, used to be extremely expensive. Now, with better international shipping, a cup of coffee can be had almost anywhere. This is great news as a blog writer and future best-selling author. In the modern world, many things have become more available and thus, more economical. There is one thing that has become extremely rare. It may be something that many of us think has little or no value. The truth could not be more different.
What is this thing that has become more rare and is often overlooked for its extreme value? The answer is this – down time. In today’s world, we are so busy trying to accomplish as much as we can that taking a break can have many of us feeling guilty. We are so well connected that being ‘disconnected’ feels wrong. The other day I drove by a high school on my way home from work and what did I see at the bus stop? Roughly 5 kids all staring at their phones. I won’t get into the online verses personal connection, that is for another post. What is sad, is that we are always busy doing something.
I love to go for walks in nature. I see people walking, jogging or riding their bikes. If they are alone, they usually have headphones in or a phone in their hands. What is the cost of all of this business? Lack of connection with the most important person in our lives – ourselves. We spend so little time in our own heads, we often have no idea what is going on there. I hear so many people say “I just feel down and I don’t know why.” Maybe it is because we are not paying attention to the thoughts and emotions we are feeling? We are busy watching, reading, and listening to things that we drown out the voice coming from within. You know, the one that might have warned us something was bothering us before it became overwhelming!
How do I know this to be true? Because one of the people I have heard say these things more often lately is the man writing this blog. On more than one occasion feelings of dread or sadness have overcome me and I have had no idea why. Not only is this a negative feeling, but it is frustrating as hell. How can you fix something when you don’t even know what is wrong? How indeed! What we need to do is spend some time doing nothing. Just relaxing and being present. It will not only be good for our mental health, which is worth its weight in gold, but good for our productivity. How can doing nothing be good for productivity? We all have hundreds of million dollar ideas in our wonderful brains. The reason we usually never realize them, and act on them, is because it is too loud for us to even hear them.
I am not just talking at you, I am talking to the man at the keyboard. Today I leave for my first real vacation in over 4 years. I will be gone for a whole week. Do you know when the last time I took a week away from everything? Here is the sad part, neither do I. These blogs will be written and scheduled ahead of time. My fourth book that is due out in the next few months? It will have to wait. What will be true is my mind will be clearer and better able to complete that book and bring you insightful thoughts in future blogs after this week. I encourage all of you to schedule some downtime and do so soon. It will not only help you be more productive, it will be a goldmine for your mental health!
One of the most ironic things that I hear as a life coach is that people do not have the time for self-care and self-improvement. The misconception here is that it is somehow a separate area of your life. They will say things such as “I know I need to take better care of my mental and physical health, but I really need to focus on my money situation.” or “I would love to spend more time improving the way I deal with stress, but the kids keep me so busy.”
Do you know what the common denominator in your money, your parenting, your career as well as every other area of your life is? I give you a really big clue, you can find it in the mirror. You are the common ingredient in every area of your life that you are trying to improve. Worried about your health? Here is an interesting fact, do you know that you are 11% more likely to have a heart attack on Monday morning than any other day? How can that be? We hear about smoking, alcohol consumption and diet being risk factors. None of them would make Monday worse than any other day. What the data tells us is that life and job dissatisfaction is one of the main risk factors for heart attacks. When you are going to a job that is killing your soul every week, it might be killing more than that. If you are having an issue dealing with work stress, not taking the time to get help and learn to use stress in a healthy way can end up costing you a lot more than just medical bills.
How about money? Everybody needs to focus on their finances. What would we need to be more financially healthy? Energy? The ability to deal with stress and change? Focus? The ability to perform better at work? How are all of these obtained? We could focus on each area one at a time, which a lot of us do, but there is a quicker way. That is to focus on you. If you improve yourself, you will be a better parent, a better employee, a better business owner, a better friend and a better lover. When we improve ourselves, our lives improve. If you bring a better ‘you’ to any area of your life, that area will improve.
In closing, we need to stop treating self-care and self-improvement as a separate area of our life. Instead, we need to understand by focusing on improving ourselves, every area of our life will improve. If we focus on our physical health, for example, we will be sick less often. This would allow us to use less sick days at work. It would give us more quality time with our children and our spouse. That would make us better parents and lovers. If we improve our mental health and ability to deal with stress and change, that will help us be a more patient and attentive lover, parent and coworker. If we work on improving our listening skills…well, you get the idea. Focus on yourself. It is one of the best things you can do for everyone else.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 