Today’s post will be the last one that comes out while I’m in the United States. Tomorrow at this time, hopefully, I’ll be in sunny Jamaica 🇯🇲. Margie and I are taking a well-deserved vacation.
Last night as we were packing up i grabbed a travel journal I always take with me. Except the one time we will get to later. As we packed and had a little snack, I read some of the entries out loud to Margie. It was amazing how many things we forgot that we enjoyed on vacation.
There was parades we watched. A very nice couple from Canada we hung out with. The gent and I even played a game and won on stage at the resort! How do you forget that? Still, had it not been written down, we would have.
This practice of taking time to write every day does several things for me. It forces you to show down and reflect. Sometimes that can be difficult for people used to being on the go all of the time. I speak from experience. It also helps you be present by asking, and remembering, details to write down later. In reading this journal there were names of people, dishes we ate and towns we traveled through.
Here is the thing, if this works well for vacation, imagine how this could work for your life. Journaling may feel like a long lost art, but if it helps us slow down and be more present, that could be life-changing! Hang on to all of those memories in any way you can. Life goes by quicker than we think.
Take a look at someone you really care about. Now imagine what that person would think if you were gone. What kind of memory would you be for that person? Would you be endless enjoyable and loving times together? Would they recall ways in which you hurt them with your words or actions? Would they know how you truly feel about them? This not only holds true for people younger than you such as your kids and grandkids. We never know when our time is up, or could be called into question at the very least. These moments could be just a phone call away.
That may sound a little dark to some, but that does not make it any less true. Any moment you spend with any person could be the last one you spend together. It could be something as simple as one of you moving away. There have been some friends that I have personally had in my life that come to mind. You think you would get together and suddenly you are thousands of miles apart. Yes, you can still email, call or even have a video chat, but is that really that same? I think we can all agree it is not.
This idea really came to my attention when I had my heart surgery. It was November of 2021. My surgery was scheduled for the following January. Margie and I were out enjoying a movie. Foolishly, I had consumed too much coffee and had to run to the gents. While in there it occurred to me that this could be the last movie we ever see together. My heart surgery was far from a sure thing and there were some serious risks associated with it. I began to picture what life for Margie would be without me. Would she remember our moments together? For how long? Would they be loving memories or would she just be filled with pain and regret? It then came to my attention that I had two months to make sure I loved her the best I could. That was not a great deal of time.
Obviously, I made it through. There was a brief flirtation with death along the way. That whole journey can be found in my third book, The Beat Goes On. It would have been nice to have more time. The tricky part is that we never know how much time any of us have. Something could happen to us, or the other person. Then all that is left is the memories and it is too late to change them or add to them. Think again of that person you care about. If you or them were gone tomorrow, would you be a good memory? What can you do today to insure that?
Day 7 on our 30 day journey of gratitude. Today we look back. We are going to talk about what memories that we are grateful for. It is important not to live in the past, but the right memories can feed our soul in tough times. They can also motivate us to recapture or create the next memory that we will be grateful for in the future. When you are asked what your favorite memory is, what is the first thing that pops into your mind? I will share a few of mine, including one that may surprise you. Then, I would love to hear what memories are your favorite in the comments.
Some of my favorite memories include times that I have made people’s dreams come true. I recall taking Margie to see her first palm tree in Las Vegas. She was so excited. Sadly, I could not find that picture. She always wanted to go to Jamaica and I was excited to make that happen for her as well. This was a picture from our trip to the Bahamas. We did so many things on that trip. She even held a shark! Vacations can be a very fun source of memories. So can doing something you know will turn into a memory. My mother and I visited our local museum that will be closing soon. We made sure to take in as much as we could. It was both fun and exciting. Although the prospect of never experiencing some of what we were ever again was a little bittersweet.
Here is something you might not consider being grateful for. I am grateful for memories of my mistakes. Why on earth would you be grateful for memories of your own mistakes? In my case the pain some of those memories still inflict are some of the greatest motivation to not make those same mistakes again. This has helped me in my health, my inner peace, my relationships and my career. Sometimes remembering how much hurt you felt when you made a mistake is the only motivation you need to not repeat the blunder.
How about you? What are some of your favorite memories? Are they fun memories or can you see the value in being grateful for some of the more painful memories as well? Please share with us in the comment below.
Above is a breakfast sandwich I enjoyed the other morning at my favorite place, The Wisconsin State Fair. It was delicious. Last year, my mother, Margie and I discovered it the first day we went. Shortlyafter that, I proposed to her. In reflection, we all recall the sandwich being quite delicious.
With that in mind, I was excited to bite into this one with the hollandaise sauce,ham, and cheese all in a delicious croissant. While it did satisfy my taste buds, it fell short of the year prior. No fault of the establishment. The ingredients were just as delicious.
What was missing? It was the company, the excitement of the day. Here I sat, all alone, trying to recreate that. Margie was baking and my mother was getting ready to help someone else.
What I learned was that it is the people andwhat you do with them is what makes memories and makes moments special. It not only adds flavor to a lonely breakfast sandwich, but it adds flavor to life as well. If you want to fill your life with happy memories, fill it with special people and loving times.
This picture was taken today at the Milwaukee Public Museum. It has been at its current location since 1963. This would be longer than I’ve been alive. Everytime I have ‘went to the Museum’ it has been this one. That includes school field trips, times with family and friends. Even once while on lunch from serving on jury duty.
The Museum will be moving to a new location in 2027. Many exhibits,including this one, will not be making the trip. All things must change and update. I get that. Apparently, this building had fallen into disrepair. The cost to repair would have been greater than a new location and would not have provided the safety for the artifacts.
My mother and I decided to visit and take in the current layout one more time. I have been to this museum countless times. I love learning and history. In an effort to capture the memories, I endeavored to take pictures of as much as I could.To my shock, I discovered things I had missed in my now 50 years of coming here! This includes this old phone operator that can only by viewed by climbing some stairs.
Another favorite of mine is mini dioramas that display different cultures. Today I learned they were made during the depression by artists paid through the works progress administration. Again, after 50 years of viewing these, new knowledge.
A butterfly landed on me in the butterfly garden. This will be in the new location. It still was a cool memory. The lesson in all of this is that things change and we must savor the moments while they are here. Also, when we look at something we have seen countless times with new eyes, we can discover something new.
I will savor these memories and am grateful for all of the years and memories created here. I will alsolook forward to creating new memories at the new location.
This is an interesting thought. I’ve been clinically dead for a bit, but not sure how much my brain lived on before, during our after for that matter. If it is true, and I’m not sure how they came by this information, it brings up several important questions.
The most important one is rather obvious. What is your 7 minutes? Were they when you are younger? Have they come recently? Are they, as this quote implies, tied to a certain person? Have they Perhapscome at a certain location? Maybe your best 7 minutes was engaged in a certain activity?
I think if we view our life in 7 minute blocks, it can help us stay in the present. After all, 7 minutes is not a very long time. I can tell you there have been several 7 minutes in my life that I can recall. The first 7 minutes I spent in Jamaica with Margie. Knowing I had helped make one of her life dreams come true. Even the first time she was able to see a palm tree in Las Vegas. Recently walking hand in hand in the Bahamas shopping and making new friends was amazing. I recall a morning sipping my favorite iced coffee with my mother at the State Fair listening to a band play tropical music. That was an awesome 7 minutes! Speaking of the State Fair, last year I proposed to Margie there. That was a crazy and memorable 7 minutes.
As you can see, there are several people and locations involved in my 7 minutes. I also think of my uncle and I at the Iola car show, my grandfather and I at this rummage event. My grandmother and I playing cards for an entire afternoon. So many good memories! Each one of them is an amazing 7 minutes. How my brain will pick out 7 from all that will be a neat trick. Then again, I am not in a hurry to find out. Instead, I am going to focus on what I will suggest you focus on – creating more amazing 7 minutes!
As an author, you may be tempted to think this is a ploy to get to you buy more books. Certainly, if you would like to go on Amazon and search ‘Neil Panosian’, feel free to order away. In truth, this post has nothing to do with books at all. It has to do with people. The people in your life. Friends, loved ones and even just the people you enjoy spending time with.
In my own life, I have recently lost two people. My grandmother, who was 96 years old, and my friend Billy Spaulding, who we wrote about last post. These two are not only two entirely different people, they will serve as a great example of what we wish to discuss here today. We often have two types of relationships with people. The book version, or the CliffsNotes version. With Billy I had the book, with my grandmother, the CliffsNotes.
Above you see some very smart people with great taste in books. I hope they had the pleasure of reading the entire thing from cover to cover. When it comes to relationships, do we read from cover to cover? Here is what I mean. When we lose someone, we lose more than just that person’s physical presence in our life. We lose stories we share. We lose jokes that maybe we are the only ones to understand, or find funny.Having these to appreciate takes reading the whole book cover to cover. What is the difference and how do we go about reading these books? Let’s take a look.
My grandmother, my dad’s mother, recently passed away at the age of 96. Sadly, I can’t really share much about her as we did not spend a great deal of time together. For several years she even thought my name was Nick. Margie thought the same thing, but that is a different story. I knew her name. Spent a few moments with her and even have a few comical memories of things she did. In other words, the CliffsNotes version. Did I know her favorite flower? No. Did I know what made her laugh? Not at all.
On the opposite side of the spectrum was my friend Billy. We had spent hours discussing life and our place in it. We shared jokes, laughter and quite a few cocktails. Last post goes into this in greater detail. There is even a video of the two of us on our YouTube channel. That is reading the book version of getting to know someone. As I was laying awake unable to sleep thinking of this blog and what I was going to write, another thing occurred to me – technology. It is vital that we share with each other on as many levels as we can.
Cellphones can be linked to the decline of personal communication. They can, however, help us establish the ‘whole book’ way of remembering someone. Above are pictures of my late uncle, my cousin who passed away at the age of 22, Margie’s mom (whose birthday we celebrate today) and I, my great uncle and my grandfather. All of these people are no longer here. Many passed before cell phones were really a thing. Therefore, there is little or no audio and video of them. As I thought about people I would like to still be able to speak with, my grandfather popped into my head. My mind even strained to remember the sound of his voice. It seems unreal that there was never a video made, but you just didn’t think of those things. That is why it is important to get to know each other on the deepest level. When my young cousin passed away in a tragic accident, we were scheduled to get together and shoot a video for my YouTube channel the very next week.
The point of all of this is to create the memories now. Do not settle for surface knowledge of someone. Really get to know them. You never know when it may be your last chance to do so. If it is, do you want to be left with CliffsNotes or do you want to say you have read the whole book?
Many of us, dare I say most, do not like having their picture taken. When I look at my picture, it usually resembles some kind of mutant from a B-movie. It doesn’t help the case that the lady in my life, whom I am usually lucky enough to be standing by, is one of those fortunate souls that looks amazing no matter what.
If we put our egos and vanity aside, we must ask ourselves what the purpose of pictures is even for. It is usually to capture a moment or a memory. Sadly, lately Margie and I seem to be attending quite a few funerals. One of the things you see at most of them is picture boards featuring memories of the deceased. When you see people looking at them, it is one of the few moments people are smiling. For a brief moment they are taken back to a moment they shared with the person they are now missing so much.
Wouldn’t it be a shame if there were few, or none, of these memories available? Sure we may be caught making a silly face, or scratching our butt, but that is what makes life amusing. Having those memories will serve as little treasuresof joy when the pain of loss seems unbearable.
This year, feel free to capture as many memories as you can. Even little videos where you have the sound of someone’s voice. Make your appearance in them, even if you think you look like you came from a B-movie set or are scratching your backside. It would be a shame to be left with no memories and then it’s too late.
Today, we are leaving the Bahamas and this beautiful viewbehind. We did our best to remain present and soak in all of the memories, along with an amount of salt water. We also took a lot of pictures to capture what we did. It helps jog the great memories we created.
On this trip we swam with pigs in the ocean, took a crazy adventure trip, drank out of a coconut, and visited several beaches. In this way we will take all of this with us. We made friends with many people, and hopefully left a little of us in their hearts as well. To me, after years of practicing, this is how you do a vacation.
Saying goodbye to the delicious food, amazing sunsets, and fun people does not mean we won’t take them with us in our hearts. This is not only a good way to keep one well of our life alive, but every day. Take lots of pictures, but also take it in. Get to know people just beyond their names. Immerse yourself in the moment. We are thankful for the staff at the Warwick Paradise Island resort, as well as all of the places we visited. All the friends we made and people we met. Our spirits are recharged, and we will be ready to give more to our corner of the world when we return.
When I was young, my grandmother used to make baked chicken legs. Trays of them! All with Open Pit BBQ sauce. She passed away many years ago. Since then, I found other chicken, and sauces I enjoy. Still, there was something that the thought of that chicken that took me back to being a kid.
Fast forward to last night. I was relaxing, watching the NFL draft. Margie, the love of my life, surprised me by making… you guessed it…baked chicken legs with Open Pit BBQ sauce! She even added some Mac and cheese to complete the memory. Did it ever take me back!
It is good to enjoy a meal, do a certain activity, or go a certain place to reconnect with those good memories. A second bonus of this delicious memory was the realization, and gratitude for, the fact that I have had 2 amazing women who are great Cooks in my life. Is there a memory you can connect with? Take some time to do so today!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 