Tag: marraige

WHY TIME GOES FASTER AS YOU AGE ðŸ˜’

This is a phenomenon that young people may have a hard time grasping. How do I know that? When it was told to me when I was young, I recall thinking it was the stupidest thing. How can an hour be more than an hour? Now I am 50 and it feels like every time I sneeze it is next week! Something that Mr. Einstein called the ‘relativity of time’. An hour at the dentist seems a lot longer than an hour out with friends. How can that be? They are both 60 minutes long. Once I read a quote that summed this whole time thing up nicely. The quote was this – “How long 3 minutes is depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on.

Why does time seem to go faster as we age? The photo above gives us a great look into the answer. We tend to have less new experiences. We find things we like and tend to stick with them. Security becomes more important when we age. The ironic thing is that security can cause things to fail. Think of romantic relationships. Far too many marriages end up in divorce. Why is that? Why do two people who were so in love they spent thousands of dollars and invited many of their friends and family to commit to each other, then suddenly never want to see each other again? The reasons can be varied and complex, but one of the main ones is security. A relationship without change is one without growth. If a relationship seldom has anything new, it becomes boring. Then, when it becomes tough or a challenge arises, nobody wants to fight for what is boring.

This is not a post exclusively about marriage or even relationships in general. The relationship example we just mentioned works the same with our life. When our life becomes boring and predictable, what is the point of living it? There is a cliche that states, “Ships are safe in the harbor, but that is not what ships were built for.” People can be safe in their predictable life, but would it really be worth living? Try that new restaurant, take that new class and start that new hobby. Not only will it help you savor your life, but it keeps the mind sharp well into old-age. We only have one life. Let us make sure it is worth living.

HOW ARE THEY SO LOVING?

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Do you see the smiles in this picture? This is my beautiful love and I. This is pretty much how we are most of the time. Sure we both have our days. Neither one of us is perfect, but our love is close enough to perfect for me. I would love to tell you those smiles come free, but they don’t. Some rare days they don’t even come easy, although as time goes on I find myself grinning from ear to ear from the time I wake up until the time I fall asleep. The truth is both of these smiles are earned. Behind the scenes there is hard work put in by both parties. What do I mean hard work? Let me first add a caveat to that, it is also extremely fun work. Having a successful relationship involves a great deal of things and could easily fill and book and one may very well be on the way co-authored by this lovely lady. Yet one of the most important things is commitment. Not only to each other, but to your relationship. What do I mean by that? Look into ways of keeping your love fresh. Look for ways to stay in that “honeymoon period” I can safely say my love and I not only still are, but it seems to be growing everyday. Find new ways to make your love feel special and appreciated. Every person is different and different things have different meanings to people. Do not assume your lover views things the exact same way you do. Which brings us to our next point, get to know your love. Sit them down and ask the big questions, what are their dreams? What are they afraid of? How do they experience love? In our case my lady loves soft touches and physical connection the most, where I am more of a verbal person. Learning this one small thing about each other has made it possible for us to help each other feel so much more loved. Again, I could fill a book with all we have learned and how it has helped, but I can tell you everything I have learned has been useful and brought us closer together.

Another important factor couples can forget after a while, have fun together. Do things you both enjoy. Act silly. Create as many happy memories as you can. These are building blocks and can help you both make it through the tougher times. Take time to celebrate your love. My lovely Margie and I have made it a happen to never share a drink together whether it is water, coffee or wine without toasting to some aspect of our love. To learn more about this please read my post “I propose a toast” (August 24/2015). Reason for doing this? Realize all you both have come through to reach the point where you are at, and realize no matter where you are the is still more joy and love to be had.

Another suggestion, when you see a couple enjoying their love, celebrate for them as well. We have a few couples that make us happy to see their love and noticing it only serves to make us happier and more loving. Never be jealous of another relationship. Frist of all you never know what you are not seeing and second if what you are seeing seems better than what you have, use that to motivate yourself to improve your own lot. Don’t be afraid to ask a successful loving couple what they do to achieve great love. If they are anything like Margie and I, they will be more than happy to tell you.