This great stoic quote speaks to a power many of us leave to chance. When was the last time you paid attention to your thoughts? Many people feel their thoughts are something that are thrust upon them. That they come out of nowhere.
Let us take it a step further. When was the last time you decided what you were going to think about? Yes, you really can do this. It can be very beneficial to set aside at the very least, 5 to 10 minutes a day to do some focused thinking. It can be thinking about what you are grateful for. This could change your life faster than you can imagine. It could be thinking about how it will feel when a goal is reached or accomplished.
We think an average of 60,000 thoughts a day. According to research 80% of that is negative. Further research indicates that 95% of our thoughts are repetitive! Think about that. We are thinking 95% of the same things, 80% of which are negative, and wondering why our life is not improving or changing.
By not utilizing focused thinking, I feel we are missing a great opportunity. Setting aside 5 minutes a day, which is less than .5% of your day, can make a huge difference. What if you used those minutes as a chance to practice some positive self-talk? How about picking someone we love and spending 5 minutes thinking about how we can improve our relationship with them? The difference could be life-changing!
Let me know what you will spend your 5 minutes thinking about.
Last post we spoke of what to do when feeling overwhelmed by the seemingly hopeless oppression of the masses by a few wealthy politicians. The answer was to remember you, as a small axe, can still fall the big tree of corruption. I failed to mention that this does not only go for politics. No, any large challenge in life that you face can be approached with the same mentality. One of the greatest challenges to adopting this mindset is the constant focus on the world outside of us. How can we change the hearts and minds of our leaders to care about the people without money lining their pockets? How can we only elect people who have the skills to lead us to a world of kindness and compassion?
The short, and somewhat uninspiring answer, is that we cannot. We do not have control over others, nor outside events. When we spend all of our energy focused on changing the current of the river, we get swept away in its current. That is not to say that we should shrug our shoulders and wait for life to take care of itself. What we should do is to focus on where our power really lies – in our own mind. Wish your spouse was more romantic? You can spend hours, days and years telling them that. Unless that partner is willing to change, it will not happen. It would be best to take matters into our own hand and use the power of our own mind. This could involve seeing the different ways in which our partner expresses romance that we may not see. It could be working on creating an atmosphere where being more romantic is both desired and rewarded.
We have power over our minds, not outside events. When we focus our energy on this, we realize that we can use the power of our minds to affect the outside events around us. We also come to the realization, if we haven’t already, that trying to control others and the world around us leads to frustration and resentment. Even if we manage to obtain the control in the short-term, it is fleeting and impossible to hold onto. Our real strength is in our ability to change our perception and meaning towards life. To change our approach. To understand our role in the situations that frustrate us, and if they are beyond repair, to have the moral strength to leave those situations. Use your power and focus your energy on where it will best serve you and the process of change.
Let us talk about what real strength is. Being strong is not being part of the group currently in power. Being strong is not being the loudest or having your opinion be accepted by the most people. No that is not being strong. That is actually rather easy. It is easy to repeat the talking points of the the group, be that political religious or any other nature. What takes strength is being able to speak truth, kindness and compassion.
If you really want to be strong, remain calm and kind when faced with opposition. When you see those you disagree with spreading lies, to be able to remain steadfast in your kindness and commitment to truth, that takes strength. When someone attacks you personally, can you have the strength to resist the urge to retaliate? Retaliation is not strength. It is weakness. It is giving into base emotions such as hurt and anger. It will not improve your life or the situation. Often, it makes the point of the opposition look valid.
Next time you are tempted to say something that speaks division and hatred, ask yourself, “Am I not strong enough to rise above this?” Be a person of value. Be someone who speaks of growth and becoming the best version of themselves and not what is wrong with your neighbor. Be the best example to all of those who are watching you. That is true strength.
Many people are confused when I tell them I listen to motivational content almost daily. Sometimes on my morning commute. Sometimes at the gym or on a walk. Why would someone who has spent the last 20+ years providing such content listen and learn about it? Firstly, because I am a lifelong learner. There is always something new around each corner. Only fools think they know everything.
Another reason is hinted at the quote above. So many of us check social media first thing in the morning. A lot of us listen to the news on the way to work. This can be poisoning our minds before the day even begins. Could you surround yourself with negativity and still have a positive life? I suppose you could, but it would be a lot less likely and a lot more difficult.
Putting good stuff into a body, brain and spirit will increase the likelihood that good stuff will come out! Want an even more compelling reason to surround yourself with positive things? It makes having a great life that much easier! Having a daily motivational calendar makes it far more likely you will come across something to inspire you than hoping your coworkers will quote Marcus Aurelius.
How do you get good stuff in? What actions do you take to surround yourself with positive influences? Subscribing to this blog is one way to introduce positivity into your life daily. What are some other actions you could take?
There are so many people who are afraid of change. While it is true that change can be a little unsettling, do you know what is worse? Not changing. No growth. Stagnation. Imagine living a life like the movie Groundhog Day. How long before you slip from frustration into insanity. To become wealthier we must change. To become happier and healthier we must change. Even what seems like negative changes in these arenas can be the catalyst to help us make positive changes. A job loss can force us to polish our skills and pursue a career that is more personally satisfying. Yes, it may be lean for a while there, but in the end we will end up with a more fulfilled and happy life. It is often after experiencing the greatest health challenges that people finally adopt that healthy lifestyle they ‘never got around to’. It is as if the universe is asking us, “Can you hear me now?” Even significant moments of emotional sadness or loss can remind us of blessings in our life that we formerly took for granted.
Another point that this brings up is the meaning we give change. Like the examples listed above, we have the opportunity to make any change a positive one. We could stop and look at a job loss, the end of a relationship or passing of a loved one and think how terrible this change in our life is. Those situations are not pleasant to be sure. Still, we have the chance to use these circumstances beyond our control to our advantage, or let them define us. The choice is ours.
Once again, Stoic philosophy helps us understand this. Our strength is not in controlling outside events, which we will never be able to fully do, but in controlling our reaction to them. That includes what meaning we assign to them. This job loss, does it mean I am destined to be poor or that the world is pushing me to do something more aligned with my sense of purpose? Before you say that this is a ‘glass half full’ argument, let me tell you it might be. Just as in the case of a glass that can either be viewed as half empty or half full, change in our life can be viewed as holding us back or pushing us forward. Notice the facts have not changed. Our belief system has.
The benefit of adopting a more empowering belief system is a life that is less stressful and more fulfilling. If we believe change is destined to hold us back we will feel one way and make certain decisions and take certain actions. If we believe that change is pushing us in a new direction and will ultimately take us somewhere better we will certainly feel differently and make different decisions and take different actions. This will not only have us feeling happier and more at peace as we go through life, but will also end up with a different reality.
Life will go a lot better for us if we embrace change and take advantage of the power we have over it. Note these words from Darwin and Marcus Aurelius. Use them to remind you that change can be a catalyst to benefit our lives. It is up to us and our mindset.
This may be my stoic way of thinking, but I find this to be a very powerful and motivational quote. Many people have told me it sounds morbid or fatalistic. Why? It is a fact. We never know exactly when our final day may come, but we know it is out there. It will never be a comfortable situation to be faced with, but wouldn’t you rather do so prepared? How can one prepare for the end of their life? By living each day to the fullest. This does not mean working yourself to the bone, or even not working at all and spending all day in leisure.
For me, if the end came tomorrow, I would want to know that I made the most out of each moment. How do we do that? The first part is the ability to be present. This is a skill that is all but gone from the world today. I recently saw a video where a monk was asked his secret for remaining joyful. His answer, in its simplicity, was yet profound. He said,“When I am at work, I work. When it is time to eat, I am eating. When it is time for sleep, I am sleeping.” He went on to explain much of the discord in life is that when people are at work, they are thinking about eating. When they are eating, they are wishing they were sleeping. When they finally get to bed at night, they are already worried about working the next day. How true is this? When we find our mind regretting the past, or worried about the future, we are doing the same thing. The past and future do not exist. If you dread and regret the past, use that emotion to drive you to do better in the present. If you are worried about some aspect of your future, use that emotion to plan and prepare better today. The present is the only time we have control over.
The end is always drawing closer. This is not meant to scare us, but to motivate us. Do what you can with what you got today. You never know what you will have tomorrow. Love with all you have today. That is one thing you will never regret. If it is true that we might die tomorrow, how are we living today? Ask yourself that question.
Today is a big day here at Secret2anamazinglife.com! We are celebrating posting inspiring and useful content for 1000 days in a row. It took a second to decide what I was going to post on this momentous day. After all, it is one of the biggest milestones we have celebrated since reaching 10 years of content back in 2022. The idea came to me while thinking about one of my favorite inspirations, Earl Nightingale. In his autobiography, he discusses what inspired him to write The Strangest Secret, his most famous work. His thought train was, “What if I only had a short time to live? What words of advice would I give my children?”It is with this mindset that I put forth these words today.
I began to think what words would I share if I only had a short time to live. Having actually gone through that helps a little. Sitting down with a nice cup of coffee, I began to toss that thought around in my head. This is what Earl did as well before he wrote that powerful work mentioned earlier. What came to my mind is the first quote attributed to Gandhi. It is my favorite quote and one I would want the world to focus on. It would seem a thought we are drifting further away from. Rather than focus on who is to blame for all the ills of the world, or complain about them, we should be focused on the solution. I have never found blame and complaining to be part of any worthwhile solution. What is the solution? It is a simple and easy formula we have heard a million times but seldom do we really ponder it’s power in changing our world. “As you sow, so shall you reap.”
This idea was the main motivation for starting this website. Firmly believing that if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. My lament back in 2012, when I started this site, was that there was too much negativity in the world. It seemed everywhere I looked negativity was there. Little did I know by 2025, you didn’t even have to look, it finds you! Delivered to our phones, our laptops, and our mailboxes. It comes through our email, our coworkers and often through the mouths of family and friends. Do you know what complaining about all of this negativity does? Add one more negative thing to the pile! The following year, while pursing writing my first book, I was introduced to the quote, “Better to light a single candle than curse the darkness.” What you are reading is my candle. We had lit 1000 in a row!
The key to all of this was taking action. Recently, I have really come to admire the philosophy of Stoicism. The above quote is an example why. It is simple, to the point and action driven. I have seen people argue about what the right course of action is for hours. It is far wiser to set an example with our actions. Do you want the world to be full of good humans? (which is what I am sure Marcus Aurelius meant) The only 100% guaranteed way to make sure the world begins to have better humans is to be one. Want to help the environment? You best be recycling yourself. Let us waste no more time arguing with each other what should be done. Let us pick up the shovel of our struggle and begin to dig. People may not always listen to what you say, but they will always notice your example.
In this rather long quote from Mahatma Gandhi, he is basically saying the same thing. The part of the quote that states, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies of the world would also change.” In other words, if you find your world a little too negative for your liking, be as positive as you can. What you will find happening is the world returning your positivity in kind. Does that mean you will not face the occasional negative moment? Of course not. It will, however, become the exception instead of the rule. When you sow kindness and compassion, guess what you will reap? That’s right. You will reap kindness and compassion. You cannot plant an apple seed and expect a watermelon to grow from it. No more than you can expect the world to change for the better unless you change for the better. It is the simple equation of “What you sow, you shall reap.”
Today let us all work to be the change we wish to see in the world. Let us plant the seeds of change we wish to reap in the world around us. Seeds of compassion. Seeds of love. Seeds of positivity. Are you planting seeds or are you complaining and sending prayers to the devil, as Mr. Bob Marley so accurately put it?
As we here at Secret2anamazinglife.com chart our next horizon, be that 3000 total posts published, 3 years in a row posting or whatever else we come up with, We encourage you to be the change you wish to see in the world. Begin to plant those seeds that you wish to reap. Thank you for being part of our journey so far. We invite you to stick with us as we continue our work in helping the world be a better place than it was yesterday.
How many hours do you spend on video games in a week? How much time playing solitaire or doing crossword puzzles? What do you achieve by getting better at these? How about increasing your income? How about spending time to look better in comparison to others or for society at large? When you think about it, most of our lives are spent in one or more of these endeavors. While I am sure all of them have their redeeming qualities, we should be focused on winning a different game – the inner game.
What I mean by the inner game, is mastering our thoughts and our attitude. When you stop and think about it, life is truly an inner game. The quality of our life, is the quality of our thoughts and emotions. If you are someone who sees what is wrong in life and generally feels angry towards the world and you win the lottery what will happen? You will be rich and…angry. If you can maintain a positive attitude despite outside circumstances, you have true power. Life, or other people and circumstances, will not be able to bring you down.
As you can see, this is not a new thought. Controlling your mind means that you are taking back control of your life. Not being subject to the whim of outside circumstances. Life has it’s ups and downs. Your mind and emotions do not have to. This is a lifelong journey. Much like physical fitness, mental fitness requires daily maintenance. Unfortunately, you do not workout one time and stay in shape forever. Same with gaining control over your mind and emotions. We slip up and act and say things when we are angry that we later regret. Can you see how even doing that less would make your life better?
How can we improve the quality of our thoughts, and thus the quality of our life? There are many options. I am still learning some myself. One of them is to develop an attitude of gratitude. Finding reasons to be grateful even when it seems impossible to do so will make your life amazing. Finding the opportunities in challenges. Some people just see a pile of manure, some people see fertilizer. Next time your life seems like a pile of the stuff that comes out the backside of an animal, ask yourself, “How can I use this to grow from?” Countless musicians, authors and artists have used the worst pain in their lives to create some of their best work. Why can’t you do the same? Also, look for other meanings in life. We can find ourself looking for the worst on occasion. Begin to train your mind to look for the best!
All of these suggestions can dramatically improve the quality of your thoughts and your life. If you would like more ideas to improve your life, feel free to pick up one, or all, of my books! Just search “Neil Panosian” on Amazon. Feel free to share what makes the difference for you in your thoughts and emotions in the comments below.
The month is almost over. How are those resolutions coming? If that last question made you cringe, do not worry. It can be very difficult to not fall victim to bad habits. You may be thinking that you messed up this year. We are merely 1/6th of the way through it. Even if you find yourself reading this in your later years regretting things you have not done in your life, it is not too late. Just like the quote from the great stoic above, the life you have lived up to this point is over.
Wherever we are currently starting from, it is a beginning to live our life like we should. The time we have left only matters in so far as what we do with it. You might want to read that last line again. Whether it is 2 months, 2 years or 2 decades, you have an opportunity. That is the gift of waking up today. You have a chance to brighten someone’s day who is struggling. You have the chance to lighten someone else’s load in life. You have a chance to begin to improve yourself. You may not think you will reach the finish line, but you can inspire others with how you run the race.
The ‘reset button’. What a good way to look at this. We always have the option to reset. Whether we slipped off our goals after 2 months, or we are working on fixing behaviors that we have practiced for decades. Resetting and working on improving should be an exciting and life-long pursuit. This should not seem like something to dread. The fact that there is no finish line in the world of self-improvement does not mean that you never get to celebrate. It means that no matter how amazing your life, relationships, health and career are, they is always a way to make them at least a little bit better. This should excite you. Celebrate the small wins along the way. As for defeats or stumbles, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again,
After all of the political nonsense has settled, we are left with one truth. The world is changed by our example, not our opinion. Before elections, politicians will say anything to get elected. They will tell you how they will end crime, end world hunger, cure cancer and a million other promises that could never really be fulfilled. What is more important to me is to look at someone’s character. Do their words match their actions?
Lately, I have really been focused on discovering ways in which I can improve myself. The first major steps to improving myself was to be honest in areas in which I could improve. After all, if you don’t know where you are starting from, it is really hard to get anywhere. In reflection, I not only cringed at how I used to be, but had some pride with how far I have come. One of the major changes was being an example of how I think people should be. It may be difficult to figure out what is the right action to take in any situation. The easy way to solve this is to make sure your actions are an example of your beliefs.
This quote is a fine example of what we are talking about. Living your faith is far better than preaching it. Being an example of kindness and compassion is truly the way to live. Whatever you wish the world to become, the best way to move it towards that is to be it! At least you are one person closer and are showing the others just the way to accomplish it. People listen to your example far more than they listen to your words.
If you want to change the world, think of what example you would like be and be one.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 