Tag: Love

LIFE IS GOOD WHEN YOU ONLY WANT THIS FOR CHRISTMAS 🎄

Here is hoping your Holiday season is coming along quite well. One question that is always difficult for me to answer is, “What would you like for Christmas?” The same is true for my birthday and any other celebration. I may have finally come up with the perfect gift. Looking at my life, I certainly have enough ‘stuff’. Probably more stuff than I need. My relationship is amazing and with the most beautiful lady. Time spent with family and friends are always so rewarding. My job pays me fairly well. What possibly could be something I am missing?

The gift I am speaking of is continuation. How many people ask for that under the tree? When you have a life like mine, there is so much to be grateful for, why would you need anything on top of that? All I would like is more of the same. Waking up next to the woman I love. Having a job to go to. Being able to work out and continue my journey to good physical fitness. Coming home to that same beautiful and wonderful woman. Going for walks and out to coffee with my mom. Trips to the zoo and museum on occasion. Great conversations with friends. Having the privilege of sharing my thoughts and the tools and strategies with wonderful souls around the country and around the world! These are all gifts I would just like to continue in the coming year.

Are there challenges in my life? Sure. My job is not the most inspiring and does not make the best use of my talents. The weather where I live is far too cold for my liking. There are miscommunications with those we care about. There are many different challenges. Do I wish for those to continue? Yes, actually I do. It is those that allow us to grow and become better versions of ourselves. They are not always fun, but sometimes there are necessary. They also test our commitment and resolve towards becoming that best version of ourselves. Are you living a life that if it were to continue as it is that you would be grateful? If not, what is standing in the way of that and how can you change it? This holiday season, let us collect our blessings and gratitude and understand they are the greatest gifts of all.

ONE OF THE PUREST FORMS OF LOVE ❤️

This post could have been titled “Secret to an amazing relationship”. That is what this quote is. A truly great relationship is not just about intensity, but longevity. That may seem painfully obvious, but it is worth saying here in black and white. Even if a relationship has the burning passion of a bonfire, what good is that passion if it burns out rather quickly? Of course it would be great to have a passionate relationship that lasts for a very long time, if not forever. The million dollar question is how to do that.

Consideration is one of the very important tools you can use to give your relationship longevity. Being able to look at a situation, and consider its ramifications, from your partner’s point of view is a priceless skill. It is true that we will never know with 100% certainty how something will affect our partner, friend or coworker. What we can do is use the tools and strategies at our disposal to be able to have an educated and informed thought on the matter.

What tools and strategies will allow you to best be able to consider the other party’s feelings and how the situation may affect them? There are a few big ones I would advocate putting into practice. The first one is active listening. When the other party is venting about something that upsets them, pay attention. When they mention what would bring them joy, pay attention. If you ever have a question about the matter, do not assume. Asking questions for clarity is part of active listening. Listening with the purpose of learning and understanding is also part of active listening. If you go into a conversation with a plan of learning more about the other person, you are more likely to be successful with it.

The other aspect that can really help you better consider another party’s position on a matter is having meaningful dialogue. Many people call this “Having the hard conversations”. They may seem like something you may not want to do, but being able to know where someone stands on a difficult issue prior to that issue occurring, is a big advantage. Begin the conversation by letting them know you are asking because you want to know how best to act should that situation come up. Make it clear you are interested in their feelings and the health of the relationship between both of you. When they do tell you how they feel, or where they stand on a certain issue, accept it without judgement. Remember you are not trying to get them to think like you, just understand how they think.

Using these tools and strategies your relationships will stand a lot better chance of succeeding. When you show consideration for another, it demonstrates that you value them as a person and their roll in your life. If you are wrong in your estimation of how a situation may affect them, or how they feel about it, learn from that too. Before long, all of your relationships will start to improve.

NEVER BE ASHAMED

Today we are celebrating 1250 days in a row we have met here to discuss tools and strategies for success and living an amazing life. Hopefully, today’s post will inspire you and assist you in both of these endeavors. It is about a subject that many struggle with, including those who sit in powerful positions. That is the art, and ability to admit we are wrong.

Admitting we are wrong is never an easy thing to do. It does not feel good. We fear that it makes us look unintelligent or at the very least, not as impressive in someone else’s eyes. The quote above may help us to look at admitting we are wrong in a different light. It not only shows that you are capable of learning and adding to your intellect as Mr. Swift noted, but I think there are a few more things that admitting we are wrong actually do for us. Let us take a look at a few of them below.

Have you ever encountered one of those people who are totally incapable of admitting they are wrong? They come across as arrogant and it actually makes them look fragile. It takes a good deal of self-confidence to admit fault. It shows a certain vulnerability and humbleness. In the case of disagreements in our personal relationships, I think it shows that we are more committed to a solution and solving a problem than being right. It also demonstrates that you are capable of considering the other persons feelings and point of view.

With all of these great traits to be shown by being wrong, we should never be afraid of admitting it. Something to keep in mind is how you handle it when someone admits they are wrong to you. Do you hold it over them? Do you see the traits we mentioned above? How you handle someone else’s mistakes will go a long way in determining how they will handle yours. Show appreciation for them being brave enough to admit their mistake to you. Be thankful you are not with someone who never admits they are wrong.

TAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS FROM ORDINARY TO EXTRAORDINARY

Last post we discussed how a mere 6 inches can make a huge difference in the world. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, you might wish to take a peak. The more I thought about it, the more that holds true in relationships as well. I almost titled this post “6 inches makes the difference in relationships” but that certainly could be misinterpreted. Do you best to get that thought out of your mind and let us move on.

Having a successful relationship is not as difficult, or as complicated as many would have you believe. Setting up some great communication and respect is all it really takes. You can have an ordinary successful relationship. My guess is that if you are reading this that would not be enough for you. Someone reading a site called “Secret2anamazinglife” would most likely want an amazing relationship. This is also not as complicated or difficult as you may think. There are a few basic mindset changes to make. By making these mindset changes, you will automatically take actions that will lead to relationships that are deeper, healthier and more productive for both parties.

How do you take your relationships from ordinary to extraordinary? The answer is in the words themselves. How to you change the word ‘ordinary’ to ‘extraordinary’? You simply add a little extra to it. This is exactly how it works in relationships. Perhaps your spouse asks you to stop at the store to pick up an item for them. Why not pick up a little surprise? Do not know what they would like? There is a good place to start, by listening. When they ask you to help them with something, try doing it with a smile and doing a little bit extra.

These may seem like obvious actions to take, but there are more subtle ones as well. As we briefly touched on above, why not practice listening more. This is not listening to respond, but to understand. Listen to learn. Our partners, or any relationship for that matter, will tell us what they like and dislike and what makes them happy and unhappy if only we would listen. Think of all the ability you would have to improve your relationships if you knew the other party’s likes and dislikes? Their favorite movies, books, places to eat, things to do for fun and anything else they would share. This will also make gift giving a lot less stressful for you as well.

Sometimes the extra can be time. Spending that little extra time thinking about the other person. What makes them happy? What can you do to make them happy or to take away some of their stress? One of my favorite things to do is to spend that little extra time thinking about everything you have to be grateful for in regards to this person. Then, you can think about how you would like to express this gratitude. Let me assure you that expressing genuine gratitude for someone and everything they bring to your life is some of the best ‘extra’ you can do. Do not take my word for it. Try it yourself!

Go the little bit extra. Whether that is a little extra silly or creating memories that even get you on the news, put a little extra effort in. That extra will take you from ordinary to extraordinary! On the top of your list should be thinking of what you have to be grateful for and how to express it!

RULES FOR COUPLES ARGUMENTS

Many people ask what the secret of success to the success of my relationship with my beautiful lady is. It is not just focusing on how to create more happy moments, although that is important. Equally important is knowing what to do when the sun doesn’t seem to be shining on your love.

Knowing how to handle the “valleys” of a relationship is just as important as celebrating the “peaks”. Take a look at the list above. It is a good set of rules to have in place to ensure your love lasts a lifetime. Tell me what are some of the rules you have for disagreements that keep your love strong?

SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR SCROLLING 📜

This popped up on my social media feed on Sunday, so I thought I would share it here on our uplifting Wednesday post. Not only is it a great reminder that indeed that we are all amazing in some way that that we all deserve to be happy, but that it is good to be reminded of it.

I would encourage all of us to share more things like this not only on our social media platforms, but in real life too. Letting someone, be that friend or stranger, know that they are amazing, appreciated and deserve to be happy can do a lot more than we think. All of us face challenges we never share. We can get wrapped up in the insanity of life and forget our value. To be reminded of that may help someone pursue their purpose, bring a light to their life, or even save their life. Doesn’t that make it worthwhile?

Think of ways in which we can remind each other that we are amazing, appreciated and deserve to be happy. It would be great if you can share them in the comments. That way we can all do a better job of inspiring each other.

WORDS FROM FRIDA

Here are some powerful yet simple words of wisdom from Frida. She was a great Mexican painter and also had some of the best eyebrows! These words are not complicated, yet in them is the secret of a great relationship. It is doing away with the things we know hurt our partners. Things like lies and lack of communication. Replace them with simple things such as hope and coffee. Those two can be one in the same depending on the day. One of my favorite moments in the world is having coffee on the front porch with the love of my life. Just the two of us watching the traffic, birds and whatever else happens by. Do not take these simple, seemingly insignificant, times for granted.

Bringing hope to your partner can seem a bit more complicated, but it need not be. When I have a hard day at work, or face a cold winter day on the way home, my heart is filled with anticipation of the beautiful face that will greet me at the door and hope for the love the will fill the evening we spend together.

Lastly, let us talk about poetry. Every word out of our mouth does not have to sound like a sonnet from Robert Browning, but it would not hurt us to read a little poetry. Expanding the capacity we have for expressing our emotions is always a good thing. Gentleman, this is directed more towards you, but it goes equally for all. Telling someone, “I like your smile.” is great. Telling that person, “When I see your smile it gives me the same warm feeling I get when I see a beautiful sunrise.” goes a little bit further. They can mean the same thing, but certainly convey a different feeling.

We often want to make love this complicated thing. It is not. Do less of the bad stuff and invest more time on learning and doing the good stuff. By process of elimination, the more time you spend on learning and doing good stuff, the less chance you will have to do something that would hurt the relationship. One final thought. This works just as well in friendships, working and business relationships as it would in romantic relationships.

CAN YOU FIND IT?

Here is a 30-day secret to an amazing life – find the beauty in everything. Some things this is easy to do. It could help you to start with those. Find the beauty in a sunrise or sunset. One of my favorites is finding beauty in different tropical  locations. The first week of this challenge, just do that. Find as many beautiful things in your life as you can.

The next week, try the people in your life. Just notice all of the beautiful people in your life. Remember that beauty is not always just skin deep. Some people have beautiful eyes, some people have beautiful souls. Bodies can be beautiful, but so is kindness. Notice how the people in your life are beautiful.

The third and fourth weeks are very similar. On the third week, ask yourself as often as you can, “What is beautiful about this situation?” As mentioned earlier, this should be easier for a sunrise than a root canal. If we look hard enough, we can find beauty in it all. If you can’t at the moment, just relax and let it go. You can even reassure yourself, “Although I cannot find the beauty in this situation at the moment, I’m sure it will occur to me at a later time.” Going to the dentist is not always a beautiful situation, but how much better it allows you to feel is.

Lastly, do the same with people. Ask yourself, “What is beautiful about this person?” When I do this with the woman  I love, it could take all day. In that case, ask yourself what you are finding beautiful about that person at the moment. This is easy when you are around people you care about, unless you are in the middle of a disagreement. In which case, it can be even more powerful to ask yourself what you find beautiful about them.

Again, this is far easier to do for some people than others. If there is a customer tearing into you for no good reason, it can be hard to find the beauty in that. Maybe it is just that they are helping you strengthen your patience or resilience? Often the beauty in things can only be seen in hindsight. Just like with situations, if you can’t find the beauty in a person, let it go and remind yourself it may occur to you later.

What is the purpose of all of this? The more we look for beauty, the more likely we are to find it. There is so much beauty in our lives that we miss much of it. Changing our focus to find it will make our lives more beautiful.

THE ANGEL ACROSS THE TABLE

Last post we talked about what it takes to be an angel among us. I want to touch a little on my own personal angel and in doing so, share some insight that occurred to me while enjoying this amazing lady. Above is a picture of my lovely Margie. We have been together for quite some time now. The other morning I was reminded how grateful I am to have such an angel in my life.

On this particular morning, Margie was telling me all of the work she had to do to prepare for the market that the bakery her and her daughter own will be at. Looking across the table I was struck by how beautiful she was. The way that she can be creative with the desserts she makes for the masses. The work she puts in to make it happen. Not to mention her actual physical beauty. Later that morning I was meeting my mother for coffee so I had to leave her.

As I got into the car, I was still thinking of the life I share with this wonderful lady. We really have survived a lot together. There has been financial struggles, death of those we care about, plus the pains and misunderstandings that come with two different people trying to live life together. It was that last thought that really got me thinking. How had we made it through all of the miscommunications and misunderstandings? How had the passionate disagreements not torn us apart?

It was the fact that we decided that our love and respect for each other was worth more that whatever was coming between us at the moment. We had learned that when trouble comes, we can lean on each other and not away from each other. The fact is we learned. In an age where everything from cars to computers are easier and cheaper to replace than repair, the same often happens with relationships. You may avoid the initial argument at the time, but unless you heal what leads to those situations, you are just bound to experience the same thing with a new person.

What makes Margie so special to me is not just her amazing smile and heart-warming hugs. No, it is the memory of seeing that smile after she had struggled. It is feeling that hug when I was struggling. It is the love that fought to continue when our egos may have encouraged us to leave. Learning to forgive and to compromise only serves to make love and life more beautiful. Is it easy? Not at all. That is what makes it so beautiful. I am so grateful that I have found someone to share my life with and will continue to work to ensure we will always have each other.

THE ANGEL IN THE COFFEE SHOP

The world can sure seem a crazy place these days. It would seem the news coming at us from every direction can be of wars, political division, or some other personal or global tragedy. Even conversations with friends can often include one, or several, of these. That is why it is so appreciated when someone comes into our lives and brings a little magic. These people are what I believe are angels.

Whether you believe in angels in the divine sense, or can just acknowledge that people who bring love and joy to others are a special group, there are angels among us. Every morning I can look across the table and see one. My lovely lady has brought more into my life than I can convey. More importantly, she has prevented a lot of bad things. We will touch more on that in tomorrow’s post. I want to share a story about a lady who blessed not only my mother’s day, but the day of everyone who happened to be with us at the coffee shop that day.

As I mentioned, my mother and I were enjoying time at the local coffee shop we both like. It had been quite some time since we got together due to unforeseen circumstances. We were both looking forward to some great conversation and a little relaxing time with a cup of coffee. As we were enjoying ourselves, in walked one of the workers, Dana. She was not working at the moment. Just came for a beverage herself. What she brought with her changed the day for everyone there. She had brought several roses and proceeded to give them to all of the ladies, workers and customers that were in the coffee shop that day.

When a stranger comes up and hands you a rose for no reason other than to brighten your day, it does just that. Not only did she put smiles on the faces of those who received the flowers, but everyone witnessing this act of selfless kindness. In a mad world, these random acts of kindness are angelic! Everyone left the coffee shop with a little more joy in their heart and a lot more smiles on their face. What prompted this young lady to be so kind? I am not sure, but I can tell you in improved the day for everyone present!

Here is the thing about Dana’s actions – it is something any of us could do. The actions themselves are made special by the fact that not many people have the thought or motivation to do such things. Here is the exciting part. We all can. That’s right! Dana reminded all of us that we can be angels in someone, or anyone’s life. You could bring in treats for your coworkers. You could make a donation to a charity you believe in. You could leave a larger than normal gratuity for a server that you know could use it.

With the holidays coming up, there will be plenty of opportunities to commit random acts of kindness. Something to keep in mind is that this is often the hardest time of the year for many. Your act of kindness may be the greatest gift given to someone. What is stopping us from being angels? A little selfless love for our fellow humans and a few random acts of kindness.