I cannot say this enough, so apparently I will say it again today. If you are really searching for the secret to an amazing life, and if you are reading this site I can only assume you are, start with changing your focus to gratitude. Why do we focus on this one emotion so much here? Gratitude is so powerful that if you truly put it to use in your life, it will turn the life you have into the life you love. It will feel like magic. Why? Because life really is magical. We have just become blind to it. It is like walking over a diamond in the sidewalk on the way to work everyday. Actually, it is better than that. Having an attitude of gratitude is more valuable than a diamond.
Have you ever noticed how your thoughts affect your mood? Your mood, after all, is your life. If you are angry and pissed off, your world will be angry and pissed off. If you are someone who is always looking for the beauty in what is around them, you will be someone who always sees the world as beautiful, even in the darkest of times. If you want to live a life that is amazing, you must start to look for and focus on what is amazing. To help this, try speaking about what is amazing. Speak of your blessings. Les Brown once said, “Nobody wants to hear your problems. 80% don’t care and 20% are glad it is you.” That is not to say don’t reach out if you need help, just that you focus on your blessings.
In life we all have struggles. We also all have blessings. Look around you. There is so much beauty and joy to be discovered it is inconceivable. Look at the face of someone you love. Think of how much they love you despite all of your quirks and flaws. Think of the beauty and kindness of all the souls you cross paths with. Every person blesses the world in ways we may never understand. Begin by sharing one thing you are grateful for every day with others. See how much this transforms your life. Imagine how you make others feel when you enter a room with the phrase, “Do you know what I am so grateful for today?” It may encourage others to acknowledge all of the blessings in their life as well.
One of the secrets to an amazing life is to have a strong ‘why’. Knowing the reason you are doing things, or the goal you are striving for will allow you to make it through some pretty tough challenges. You do not have to even being chasing a specific goal. Sometimes the challenge can be working to become the best version of yourself. Sometimes that challenge can be remaining a decent human in a world that is trying to change that. It is then that you can really be tested. Why go to work when everyone else at your place of employment is always calling in sick? Why work so hard when most of your wages go for a government that cannot balance their own budget? These are thoughts we all have at some point in time.
When you are busy saving for that vacation, or gifts for a loved one, it is easier to get up and get out of bed. Most of the time, we are working just to keep the lights on and a roof overhead. This is not as inspiring. Even becoming the best version of ourselves is not the most motivating on the hardest days. What then? The answer is not why, but ‘who’.
If you need an outside source of motivation and inspiration, look no further than those you love. Eric Thomas does a whole video on this, but we can look at it in a nutshell. For me, on the days that I do not feel like being the best version of me, I look at a picture of my beautiful lady. She does so much to show she loves me, how could I not give her the best version of me? She believes in me, even when I do not believe in myself. I think of my mother who raised me. Would she really want to be responsible for a man who grew to be less than he could be? How about my friends who are struggling and could use an example of perseverance? Of course, you – the wonderful readers of this blog. I owe it to all of you who spend your time and energy to read and apply what we share here.
Next time you are tempted to stay in bed and rest, or not give your best on a project, ask yourself some tough questions. “Do I love sleep more than I love having the respect of my spouse?” “Would being lazy be more rewarding than my children respecting the person I am?” Even though you already know the answers, ask them anyway. It may lead to you begrudgingly going ahead with what you have to do, but you will be able to lay your head down and sleep with peace that night. You will learn that often the best ‘why’ is really a ‘who’.
It is a sad fact that many people today feel like they do not count. That could not be further from the truth. We all matter despite what others and the world may tell us. In my own life, when I begin to feel down and like I need a reminder of my significance, I found the best way to accomplish both of those is to be a blessing to others. By doing so, I not only feel valuable knowing that I brought good to the life of another, but I know from all of those who bring good to my life how much that matters.
Being a blessing can happen in so many ways. For a few ideas, read our last post, 3 steps to paradise. You can inspire someone with your thoughts. This can be a simple prayer for someone or just sending them some good vibes. Feeling grateful for someone can put a smile on your face as well. Another way to be a blessing is to vocalize these thoughts. Sharing a kind word with others is such a blessing these days. Kind words can be rare making them not only valuable, but a true blessing. Lastly, you can do a good deed for someone. Buy a coffee for the one you love, give someone a card for no reason. Even a welcoming hug a sharing a smile with a stranger can be more of a blessing than you know.
You matter. You are a blessing. We all are. Let us be blessings for others today.
Last post we discussed how we can recapture a little of the excitement of youth by remembering how cool things we used to do in treehouses and blanket forts were and comparing them with what we can do in our own homes. We ended that post by observing that our appreciation for the simple things tends to fade as we grow older. We do not find hiding in a blanket fort with our love as exciting as landing in Jamaica, or wherever our choice vacation destination is. Obviously, there are many more benefits to traveling to a luxury resort in a tropical paradise. Especially if you live in the freezing climate like my lady and I do.
What I am about to share with you is a very powerful secret to not only an amazing life, but an amazing relationship. Sit down, get comfy, but pay close attention. Using this secret will both deepen your connection with your partner and increase the amount of joy you experience on those tropical getaways. The best part we haven’t even mentioned. It will have you experiencing more joy on a daily basis. How about that for something amazing? You will grow closer to your partner, those special moments will feel more magical and you will experience more peace and joy in your heart daily. Does that sound like something you might be willing to give a try?
The answer lies in what we do in those seemingly little moments. I say ‘seemingly’ because that is how we view them. They are, however, the basis of what makes our life what it is. If you wait to bring magic to your relationship until there is a special occasion, what are you doing the rest of the time? Les Brown said there are very few couples who are living together. Most of us are just dying together. That is an uncomfortable truth. Do you spend your days arguing about who is going to make the bed or take out the garbage? Try making the bed together while talking about how great it will be to snuggle together in it later. When you take out the garbage, ponder how amazing it is that you can afford all the the things that generate this refuse and send a feeling of gratitude that there is someone who takes care of that garbage for you.
You may be thinking to yourself, “Yeah right. Happy making the bed and taking out the garbage?” It might sound far fetched, but stop and think for a minute. How happy would you be to make your own bed after being homeless? Can you even imagine being homeless? How about having to dig a pit and bury your refuse in your back yard. How long would you like to do that? Here is the million dollar secret in case you have missed it. Why should you even put fourth effort to find the joy and magic in these ordinary tasks? Simple. You do them every damn day. The difference between feeling like you are being dragged to do something you do not want to do verses something that you get to do and finding the joy in it, can transform the way your life feels on a daily basis!
One of the areas that I have found can be mined for joy and drawing closer to your partner is the grocery store. Watching what hot sauce they pick out and enjoy so you can surprise them with it at a later date. Talking about what kind of meals you would like to make together, or maybe picking out a new food to try together. That can be fun! That is not to say that every trip to the grocery store will be a magical experience. Margie and I have distinctively different shopping techniques and when we are tired and overworked this can lead to not so magical moments. It is then that having the experience of how to make it magical is more important than ever.
Here is the added bonus. When you learn to appreciate all the small moments in life, the big ones become even more magical. Take that view leading to the beach in the lower right corner. Truly a beautiful sight. Taking the time to hold my lady’s hand and experience it together, that made it more magical. The pigs in the upper left corner? We swam with them in the ocean and then fed them on shore. Watching my love interact with them and sharing our adventures with each other gave us memories for years to come. These are not things that happen overnight. Working on communication and relating to each other allowed us to better appreciate the moment together. That made the trip, and our time together on it, even more magical.
These two events play off of each other. What we learn in discovering the magic of daily life helps us to better appreciate our exciting time away. We also take lessons we learn on vacation home with us. When something doesn’t quite turn out like we thought (say our relaxing sunset cruise turns into an adventure straight out of Deadliest catch) we usually recoup back at our hotel room and say, “At least I get to be here with you.” That lesson holds true when we are spending an evening at home. A blizzard may have shut down the city and maybe the furnace is out. Still I will look out from under the blanket we are huddled together under and say, “At least I get to be here with you.”
Last post we mentioned the quote from Tony Robbins that “What is wrong is always available. So is what is right.” Some of us have a challenge developing a grateful mindset. Doing so is the secret to living an amazing life. One of the easiest ways of doing this is to look around at the lives of those less fortunate. We do not have to look very far. The news is full of tragedy of both a personal and geographical nature. It blows my mind how upset with life some people can be. They lament how unfair life is or how hard they have it. If you can read these words, you have it better than millions of others. You are literate. That means you have the potential to learn just about anything. You have access to the internet. Which again means you can learn just about anything.
Gandhi’s thought above is a really bold statement. The late Greg Plitt, who continues to inspire, said “If you feel unmotivated to change your life, take a walk through the cancer ward at a children’s hospital.” That is an uncomfortable statement. The reason that it is so uncomfortable is that it forces us to realize how much greater our challenges can be. This is not to say whatever you are going through is not tough. Many of you are facing challenges greater than anything I have ever faced. It just reminds us that there are others who are struggling worse than us and could use our support and compassion.
Sticking with the gent from India, this is a great next step. When we see those folks who remind us that our situation could be worse. We should reach out and lend a hand. It is what will not only make their challenge a little less. It will help us gain the knowledge that even in our most challenging of times, we can be of service to others. We not only can be, but we should be. It is in doing so that we often discover our greatest gifts and talents. This can give us the confidence and purpose to make it through our own challenges. It is a win/win situation. It is how the world should be.
This weekend, my beautiful lady threw me a birthday party for my 50th birthday. There were plenty of people, lots of great food and sadly a thunderstorm as well. Here is the crazy thing. Everyone was having such a great time the only picture I got was with my friend Jenny as seen above.
It was oddly refreshing that everyone was focused not only on staying dry, but on enjoying the moment. I was so grateful for all of the wonderful memories that were created. It is a day that I will keep in my heart as long as I live. I can’t wait to see what my 100th birthday party will be like. It is my sincere wish all the people who were at this one will be there too.
The amount of gratitude I feel for everyone who braved the storm to show me they care means more than I can convey. The conversations and connections are the greatest gifts! It is my sincere wish you are all so blessed as I was this weekend!
Special thanks to my beautiful lady and her daughter for making it all happen and giving me a day I’ll never forget!
How useless is hate? It really has not solved any problem. Remember not to fall victimto this destructive emotion. Think of ways you can use hatred’s worst enemy, love, to solve a problem hate created.
Above is a breakfast sandwich I enjoyed the other morning at my favorite place, The Wisconsin State Fair. It was delicious. Last year, my mother, Margie and I discovered it the first day we went. Shortlyafter that, I proposed to her. In reflection, we all recall the sandwich being quite delicious.
With that in mind, I was excited to bite into this one with the hollandaise sauce,ham, and cheese all in a delicious croissant. While it did satisfy my taste buds, it fell short of the year prior. No fault of the establishment. The ingredients were just as delicious.
What was missing? It was the company, the excitement of the day. Here I sat, all alone, trying to recreate that. Margie was baking and my mother was getting ready to help someone else.
What I learned was that it is the people andwhat you do with them is what makes memories and makes moments special. It not only adds flavor to a lonely breakfast sandwich, but it adds flavor to life as well. If you want to fill your life with happy memories, fill it with special people and loving times.
How little we give value to some of the most important things in our life. Our house, our car and our jewelry are notthe most valuable things we own. As someone who has the unique perspective of facing death, and briefly experiencing it, my view changed dramatically. It is something that is very difficult to convey in words. All I can do is share my story and hope you can gain something from it. When I knew that there was a possibility of death in my life with my heart surgery, you take stock of your life. You ask yourself the question, “What would life be like if I were not here?” It is much like the experience that George Bailey has in the movie It’s a Wonderful Life.
Have you ever asked yourself this question? Have you ever looked around at those closest to you and asked how their life would be affected if you were not around anymore? How would they feel? Would they know how you truly feel? You may not be facing a serious and dangerous surgery like I was, but you do not need to be. We can be the healthiest, most cautious person and our day could be right around the corner. Have you seen the way people drive these days? This is not to sound fatalistic, but to stress that time is not our ally. It is fleeting at best and we never know when it will run out. I heard someone say recently, “You are one phone call, one diagnosis away from a completely different life.” That is frighteningly true.
Enough of these sobering thoughts! Look at those around you and try to picture their life if you were gone tomorrow. What would they be like? When I began to picture this, I realized many things. First of all, memories are the greatest gifts that we give each other. There is a cliche that people may forget what you say or do, but they will never forget how you made them feel. This is so true. I shifted my focus on the feelings I was trying to share. Realizing the greatest moments of my life consisted of memories I shared with the people I love, my focus was on creating as many as possible. People leave our life for a variety of reasons all of the time. Seldom do we see it coming. We are all there one day and the next, one of us is not. It can be friends moving away, loved ones passing or a terrible misunderstanding.
One of the things I enjoy reminding people of is that although our time on this earth is finite, the impact we create does not have to be. Some of the people that inspire me the most have been dead. Some of them for many years. When I think of Margie, if I were to be gone, I would want her heart to fill with love every time a thought of me arose. When I think of my friends, I would want memories of our times together to make them smile. Wishing and wanting are great, but we need to take actions now to make that a reality. It is sharing these little things with each other that mean the most. If I had a bad day, a hug from Margie would mean a lot more than if she bought me a cup of coffee. Staying with me when I feel sick means more than any grand gesture she could make. It is the little things that create the big amount of love that will live on long after we are gone.
This statement could not be more accurate when it comes to me and my life. Sadly, I live where this is not a common occurrence. What that pushes me to do is develop other happy places. Why is this important, not only for this author but for you as well? Happy places are not only a perk to have in life, I feel they are a necessity! In a world where negativity and stress can quickly cause us to live in a state of overwhelm, having a place we can escape to is vital! My favorite happy place is a quite beach in a lovely tropical location. Two years ago Margie and I experienced this in the Bahamas. We met lovely people, had amazing food and enjoyed each other. Financially, doing this more often could pose a little bit of a challange.
What to do when your happy place is both thousands of miles, and thousands of dollars, away? Simple, develop more happy places. Who says you can only have one? Yes, I really look forward to Margie and my next trip to paradise, but in the meantime, there are lots of other places that make me happy. Going for coffee with my mother is always a lot of fun. Especially after a nice walk in nature. Conversation with my friend Nick is always insightful. Creating new content with my friend Jason is amazing. Going to the gym after a good night’s sleep and relieving stress is amazing as well.
As you can see, there are certain coffee shops, parks and other places that are happy places. One of the fun things to do in life is creating this list. By creating, I mean write the places down. It is easy to forget, especially in times of stress. Have you ever been going out to eat and can’t think of all the places you have been eager to try? Yeah, kind of like that. Plus, having a list of places that make you happy can be a fun reference. Looking at your list and saying to yourself, “I haven’t been there in a while.” can be fun. Not to mention, planning visits to these places, or with these people, can give you something to look forward to. This will make getting through the day that much easier.
How about you? What are your happy places? Do you have several? Some that are close and easily accessible? Have you written a list down of them? Here is something to remember when creating your list of happy places. They don’t have to be ‘places’ at all. Sometimes a happy place can be in the arms of the person you love. It can be time spent with a certain friend that always lifts your spirits. Then, it is not the physical place that matters so much as the company. Create your list of happy places now, and start visiting them often.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 