Tag: Love

IT IS TIME TO BE A FARMER!🚜🐖👨‍🌾👩‍🌾

My second conversation from my off day (if you missed the first, please check out last post it was amazing) occurred between my coworker Kelly and myself. Kelly was sharing how hard she works at sharing the journey and struggles of her sobriety with those who need it most. This can often be a very difficult path. When someone is dealing with the demons of addiction, it can be difficult to both admit and face. Those who have been through it themselves know that better than anyone. They know both the pain and fight that occurs every day, as well as the joy, health, and positive things that come out on the other side of fighting addiction.

When you offer someone a warning that their life is headed down the wrong path, even if done with great love, concern and tact, that person will often get defensive and the situation can turn downright ugly. This is not only true for addiction, but those in abusive relationships, those with self-destructive behaviors and a host of other issues that can ruin lives. When you are faced with a choice to say something and risk losing that relationship, or saying nothing and, by default, enabling their behavior, which of those you choose is up to you. My thinking is this. Kelly was being told by others not to mention anything. Even being asked, “How many lives have you actually changed by saying something?” Here is my thought on that. Which of these situations would you rather find yourself in? You say nothing, keep this person ‘happy’ and they end up in jail, or even dead. The second case is you tell them the hard truth, offer them not only tough love, but support, and they never speak to you and still end up self-destructing. Personally, I would want to know I did all I could.

I love this quote from one of my favorite poets. It reminds me of the second part of the conversation between Kelly and I. Understandably, she was really thinking about what she was told about how, despite all of her passionate and caring efforts, it seemed that it was having little results. I shared a story with her. Quite often, as a writer committed to helping people see the beauty and importance of their lives, I feel like I am falling short. Days, weeks and even months can go by without even a comment on some of the information and thoughts I share. My mission to leave the world a better place than I found it, can seem daunting at best. If I mistakenly turn on the news and see all of the hate and violence, it can feel like I am bringing a teaspoon of water to fight a house fire. Which is why I encourage everyone else to bring their teaspoon as well. The more people I reach and inspire, the more the world can positively transform.

While I am wrapped up in my own self-pity, feeling like I am yelling my encouragement and inspiration into an empty canyon, enter my lovely Margie. She reminds me of the time two people came up to me and told me that they were ready to end their lives and something that I wrote caused them not to give up hope. I can’t even relay that story without getting emotional as both Margie and Kelly can tell you. If, through the course of my journey, I never have anymore engagement from this blog or my books and podcast, those two people have made this journey a success. Funny thing is, I was not close with either one of this people. I planted a seed of hope and encouragement and it blossomed for them at just the right time.

I want to remind all of us that the good and love we put out into the world is like that. Whether that is Kelly’s effort to help those struggling with addiction, my efforts to bring a little light to what can often be a dark world, or you and the good you are looking to bring into the world. Remember we are planting seeds. It may seem as if all of our seeds are landing on soil that is not fertile, but some just take longer to blossom, just as some plants take longer to sprout. Many of our seeds may land on concrete and never grow into anything. How do we solve that? Here is my solution. If you want the same amount of crops, and half the seeds won’t grow, what do you do? You plant twice as much. You might want to read those last lines again. Plant as many seeds of kindness and love as you can. You might not be around when they grow into something beautiful, but wouldn’t be a shame if you never planted them at all?

A REMINDER FOR MONDAY 🤔

Coming into the work week, I thought this a very good reminder. We often work so hard on our jobs and making sure we do a good job, that we can neglect our home life. Make sure you keep your focus on the ones you love and improving the loving atmosphere you have at home. Jobs come and go, but family and friends are what will be with us for the rest of our life, especially if we take car of those relationships.

ONE SECRET TO GETTING 🤑WEALTHY

At first glance, this statement may sound counter-intuitive. It really isn’t. Let me first start by telling you that wealth is not monetary. We have seen countless celebrities take their own lives with more money than many of us could spend in a lifetime. They were not wealthy. Being truly wealthy consists of having loving relationships. This can be with that special someone, your children, your parents or even your dog! How do you get that? By giving. Giving the gift our time. Maybe it involves giving the gift of our undivided attention. The wisdom of our experience makes a good gift. In the last case, our dog, a gift of a long walk and tossing a ball around would bring happiness and a loving relationship with your dog.

How about being wealthy by having a career we love? We must give for that. Give the time to study what makes our heart sing. Give the time and effort into developing our skills. The more we put into it, or we could say give to it, the higher our return will be.

One of the best ways to be wealthy is to have inner peace and joy. I can think of no better way to get both of these than to do it through giving. When you give someone a smile, doesn’t it make you feel good inside too? When you have listened and gave someone some encouraging words, how does that make you feel? What about when you give to an organization you love? That will bring you joy and inner peace, knowing you made a difference.

Let us remember the words of Anne Frank. We will never become poor by giving. I can promise you the more you focus on giving to others, the richer your life becomes. One important caveat to that – do not forget to give to yourself. In a season where many people are focused on what they can give to others, do not forget to give yourself some gifts. The gift of time with yourself. The gift of compassion and forgiveness. In what ways to you plan to give to others? How about giving to yourself?

HELP SPREAD THE LOVE ❤️

Here is an interesting fact about the blog you are now reading. It is followed in about 200 countries. This always excites me. The thought that I can bring joy, motivation and inspiration to someone in a country that I may have never even heard of is a gift that I never tire of. When a new country is added to this extensive list, as is the case with South Sudan in the list above, it gives me great pleasure. It also allows me to research and learn about the country and its people so that I may better serve them with my words and ideas. There are a few countries that I have yet to reach. Greenland and some countries in west Africa such as Mauritania, Western Sahara and Niger. This keeps me motivated. Not only is there more people I can inspire and share ideas with in the world, but even in my own country of the United States, in my own state of Wisconsin and my own city of West Allis.

In this photo, everything in pink and red are countries in which we have viewers of this blog. As you can see, we are close to reaching everyone. This can only be achieved with your help. If you would like to see a more positive and inspired world, here is what you can do to help. Share this blog. Tell all of your friends, family and other people you think could benefit from what we share here. Tell them about secret2anamazinglife.com. Share the blog on all of your social media posts. Mostly, no matter what city, state, province or country you find yourself in, please engage and become a part of this blog. Comment your ideas. Share encouragement. It would be great to hear from everyone around the world. Whether that is Fiji, UAE or right down the street. The more opinions we have, the more people we reach, we can all do our part to change and transform the world into a more positive and loving place for all of us to enjoy.

For my valued friends who regularly comment, like and share this blog. I want to personally thank you from the bottom of my heart. The research, pondering and writing of these posts are done with the intent to make the world a happier and healthier world one soul at a time. I would love to meet all of you and learn where you are from and what you enjoy about what we share here. Let us make 2023 the best year yet!

START A NEW TRADITION

At this time of year, many of us can find ourselves running around and trying our best to find the perfect gift. Maybe as parents, or even as a spouse, we are trying to figure out how to save enough for the perfect gift. We work overtime. We cut back as much as we can on our expenses. Quite often we are also worried about planning the perfect get together. Stressed about cooking and shopping for that. Couple this with there often being an extreme of weather this time of year. (Hot in the southern hemisphere and cold in the north) and there is so much stress it can leave us, as the picture said, broke, overwhelmed and tired.

This year, let us do it differently. Instead of stressing if the house looks perfect and dinner is done just right, to everyone’s liking, let us just enjoy the company. Instead of saving for the perfect gift, let us focus on the perfect heart-felt gift. Instead of running ourselves ragged, let us plan a day with friends practicing some self-care. That can be a weekend retreat, a group meditation, a paint and sip or just getting together for coffee or a movie. When it comes down to it, do we really remember the toy we got when we were 6? It is far more likely, and more valuable, to give the gifts of memories. If the pandemic taught us anything, it was the gift and value of human companionship. Not only having some, but having quality time together. That is also a skill that is developed.

Looking back at this post, I noticed the words ‘gift’ and ‘value’ several times. It is important to remember what is truly valuable and that is what makes a great gift. Another quick reminder….do not forget to give a gift to one of the most important people in your life…YOU. That is the gift of a stress-free or low stress holiday season.

LEARN TO SPEAK THE RIGHT LANGUAGE ✅️

Have you ever been frustrated because the point you are trying to communicate is misinterpreted? Have you ever felt as though your partner was not showing you any affection? Has your partner ever accused you of the same thing? Do you ever feel like you and your partner are just not on the same page? It might be as simple as the language you are speaking! I am not talking about the difference between French and Zulu. No, this is a far more subtle, but just as different dialect.

We discussed this difference in language on the latest episode of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. If you would like to increase the quality of the communication between you and that special someone in your life, take a listen. If you want every conversation to feel more effective and effortless, take a listen. If you want to know just what to say or do to make your partner feel loved, take a listen. If you want to feel more love in your relationship and help your partner feel more as well, take a listen. While you do listen, feel free to subscribe. That way you will get these amazing tools and strategies right away and be able to improve the quality of your relationships, and your life, as soon as you are done listening to the episode. It is as simple as clicking on the link below, sitting back, relaxing and listening.

LEARN TO SPEAK THE LANGUAGE THAT WILL TRANSFORM YOUR MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP! CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE LIVING THE DREAM WITH NEIL PANOSIAN PODCAST!❤️

2 SECRETS TO A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP ❤️

How do you create the relationship of your dreams? How do you know what exactly will make your partner happy? How can you avoid what will make your partner unhappy? Wouldn’t it be great to know what things you could do, say and gifts you could give that would mean the most to the one you love? How about knowing all of these things about any of your relationships? What if it was not only possible, but could be accomplished by using 2 simple steps? Sound too good to be true? It is not and it is easier than you think!

We recently revealed these 2 simple steps on an episode of the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. If you would like to reduce the stress and increase the joy in all of your relationships, especially the one with the special someone, you should listen. If you would love to know the perfect present to get and take the stress out of gift giving, you should take a listen. If you would like to deepen the quality and closeness of all of your relationships, especially the one with your partner, you should listen. It is as simple as clicking the link below and taking a listen. By the end of the episode, you will know the 2 simple steps you can take right now to accomplish all of that and more. Feel free to subscribe and you will be the first to learn these and other secrets to an amazing life!

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE LIVING THE DREAM WITH NEIL PANOSIAN PODCAST AND HAVE THE RELATIONSHIP OF YOUR DREAMS

YOU MAY NOT SEE IT, THAT’S OK👍

Here is something that I am quite guilty of. It can be hard for a lot of people who are hard-driving folks. It was brought back to my attention while in conversation over a cup of coffee with my mother the other night. She inquired how things were going. I informed her this very blog you are now reading is now followed in over 200 countries. (Come on Greenland) and that made me very happy. I love connecting with and engaging with like-minded people throughout the world. Then I informed her I was a little frustrated that my podcast did not have a bigger reach. (feel free to listen and subscribe by clicking the link at the end of this post) She reminded me of two very important things. First, I just started it in July or August. Second, that it has already impacted several lives. It is not about the volume, but the quality of the impact that you bring to each individual.

With over 8 billion people now on the planet, I would like to reach, inspire and engage with as many as I can. Engagement is something that is always appreciated. Comments and hearing what people like, and do not like, about the things we share here only help us serve better. Margie is great for reminding me how many people come up to us and say, “I never comment, but I read your stuff all of the time.” Although frustrating, it is great to hear. Nothing makes me more motivated to write than knowing it is connecting with people and making a difference.

You do not have to be a writer for this to be true. When I helped at a local meal program, I did my best not only to serve up a hot plate of food for each guest, but a dose of respect, encouragement and inspiration. Rarely, did you get to see what a difference this made. It would have been far easier to just dish out the food and say nothing. One afternoon a gentleman came up to me and said, “This is the first time anyone has ever called me ‘sir’.” When you show kindness to anyone, but especially those who need it the most, it makes a big difference. As we approach the holiday season, this can be true with clerks in retail locations, servers in restaurants, package delivery people and many of the other workers that make the holiday season brighter for all of us.

We should not stop there. We should really show kindness to everyone we meet. We NEVER know all of the struggles people are facing. They may have lost their job, or are facing reduced hours and a struggle on how they are going to purchase gifts for those they love, or even keep the lights on. They may have lost a loved one, the pain of which is always amplified during the holidays. We may not see it, but who can put a price on the gift of a little kindness. Not only this holiday season, but all year long. Thank you for looking out for one another. Again, as my gift to you, I would love to invite you to subscribe to my podcast at the link below. We discuss a variety of topics and even break down sections of my book. Please click on the link below and give it a listen.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN AND SUBSCRIBE TO MY PODCAST. FEEL FREE TO SHARE IT WITH A FRIEND 😀

CELEBRATE OUR ANNIVERSARY!🥳

Today we celebrate 10 years of this blog! I began this journey in 2012 with just a desire to share with others the tools and strategies that helped me positively impact my life. I never dreamed it would turn into what it is today. There are many things that I have learned in the past decade of sharing ideas with you. First of all, I am still learning and sharing. Self-improvement is very much like physical fitness. You are never ‘there’. There is always maintaining and learning to do. You will mess up. You will have bad days. Life will throw a whole lot at you and you will need to develop new ways to handle new problems. It is the learning and growing that develops from that which is so rewarding.

I also learned how similar we are. When I started I had…well…zero followers. That was never the goal. Still, my desire to share with and help as many people as I can, allowed this blog to now be followed in over 200 countries and by over 50,000 people. I learned a fellow in Italy and I not only like the same music, but are both dedicated to improving ourselves and have had some of the same influences.

Another thing we are celebrating today is Thanksgiving. It is no coincidence that I started this blog on this day. One primary secret to an amazing life is Gratitude. In my own life, it has done the most to positively transform my life. As I reflect on the last 10 years of my life, one thing I am most grateful for is my lovely lady. Margie has been pushing me outside my comfort zone for as long as I can remember. One of the first examples was putting flyers up for my first book signing. We were in the village of Greendale where I worked for the Post Office. The book signing was to be held at a local coffee shop. I had 2 businesses in mind to put flyers at. One of them being the coffee shop. Margie looked at me and simply said, “No, we are going to ask to put them up at every business in the village!” I was tempted to tell her that I thought she was on the brink of insanity, but she was so cute and so insistent. What I thought was going to be a five minute ordeal inside my comfort zone, ended up being a half a day where she would say, “I’ll go in with you.” Then she would push me towards the counter and disappear and make me promote myself. It made the book signing the success it was. Not much has changed two books later.

There is so much in my life to be grateful for. Just today I was recalling how my grandmother used to make pans of barbeque chicken. The whole family would come over and eat all of the delicious food she would make. These days I am grateful for walks in nature and trips to the gym with my mom and wonderful meals created by my beautiful Margie, who is an amazing cook. I think my Grandmother would have really loved her. I know I do. Come to think of it, that is another secret to an amazing life. Find someone who will love you, but push you outside of your comfort zone and make you develop into the best version of yourself. It doesn’t hurt if they are lovely like my lady.

Today, there is lots for me to feel grateful for. The ability to share with you for 10 years. The ability to reach over 50,000 people in over 200 countries. The fact that my partner also happens to be the most beautiful lady in the world and I get to see her on the pillow next to me every night! That fact that we have wonderful memories to reflect on and the possibility to create even more! Today, I would be so grateful if you would share this website with at least one other soul you think could benefit from learning secrets to an amazing life. Together we can reach many more souls. Maybe in the Congo? Maybe in Greenland? Maybe in the town next to yours. We are all one global family of 8 billion.

SECRET TO A GREAT RELATIONSHIP…PART II

A few posts ago, we examined two secrets to a great relationship. If you are looking at strengthening your relationship with that special someone, or really anyone in your life, I suggest you give it a look. After I published that post, there was a lot of reaction. It always makes me happy to have engagement with anything I write. One particular comment brought to attention another very important aspect of a great relationship. If you seriously implement this one relationship tool, it will improve your outlook on your partner and their outlook on you. There will not even be a need for any awkward conversations.

There was a particular comment that brought up a really good point. The young lady shared the secret from turning frustration in her relationship into appreciation. Sounds like it could be an impossible task, but it is easier than you think. In fact, it only takes learning one thing. One of the most frustrating things in a relationship is when you feel your partner does not show enough affection. When you feel you are saying or doing all the right things and they seem unaffected. The only frustration that ranks a close second is when your partner says you are doing the same thing. Quite often, it is not affection that is missing from these relationships, but communication. Even if there is a lot of talking going on, we can often be speaking different languages. Can you imagine trying to solve a problem in a relationship if you spoke Zulu and your partner spoke…let us say French? How easy to you think it would be to understand and appreciate each other’s point of view? How about making each other feel loved or feeling loved yourself?

You might be saying, “Neil, both my partner and I speak the same language, but there still feels like a lack of love.” You might speak the same language, but do you speak the same Love Language? There is a great book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I don’t get a commission on sales, but I would recommend getting your hands on a copy. You will learn a lot about yourself and your partner. You will learn the five ways in which people express love. Maybe you are someone who is more verbal (Neil) and you are good with putting your feelings into words. Perhaps you are someone who is more physical (Margie) and instead of some long-winded monologue comparing your growing love to a blossoming flower, you just want to come up and wrap your arms around the person you love. They are both expressing love, but in different ways. Add to that the other 3 languages and you can see how tricky this can get. Do you want to really blow your mind? People do not often express and receive love in the same language. They can express their love verbally, but like to feel it physically. Maybe it is the opposite? Maybe it involves acts of service? How about spending quality time with your partner? Maybe even receiving a gift? If your partner and you speak different love languages, it can often seem as different as Zulu and French.

Just like personality, where your partner can be more silly and you express your humor in a more stoic fashion. Once you realize and acknowledge your differences, you can help balance each other out and help grow and discover different parts of yourself you may have neglected. When Margie and I discovered our different love languages, it really helped us not only understand the communication coming from each other, but how best to communicate with each other. Doing the little exercises in the book The Five Love Languages did involve a little amount of work, but it was fun and exciting work. Discovering how both you and your partner speak and receive love can be one of the most rewarding experiences. It can also help you avoid many miscommunications in the future and help you remedy any disagreements a lot quicker. Imagine having the knowledge of “I know how to make my partner feel loved.” in your head? What a great tool to have!

Here are good friends of Margie and me, Chris and Nicci. Also, the couple that provided the inspiration for this post. Something that Nicci said in her comment is so true. It really made the difference in their relationship, it really made a difference between Margie and I when we implemented it, and I know it will help take your relationship to the next level. She mentioned when they really experienced joy and contentment in their relationship was when they stop looking for each other to express love in specific ways and turned their attention to finding the way that each other was already expressing love that they might be missing. It is important to both look for how your partner does express love and letting them know, lovingly I might add, how you really feel love. If your partner brings you flowers to show they love you and that works for you, great. If they change the oil in your car so you are safe and don’t have to worry about having it done, that is expressing love and caring too. I cannot express how much fun discovering each other’s love languages can be. It worked for Margie and I. It worked for Chris and Nicci. It will work for you as well. Instead of feeling frustrated your partner isn’t exactly as you would like them to be, look for the treasure they have that is already there. You might be missing a lot of love they are expressing.