Tag: Love

MAKE LIFE BEAUTIFUL 😍

We touched on this theory in the post Live in a loving world. We are going to look at how to make the life we are living a beautiful experience. It is not as difficult as many would like to have you believe. The ‘sky is falling’ or ‘chicken little’ approach taken by many in politics and the media is great for selling, but not necessarily reality. Yes, life is full of challenges, disappoints and loss. It is, however, also full of beauty, opportunity, and abundance. It is really what we choose to focus on. As Tony Robbins says, “What is wrong is always available, but so is what is right.”

I look at this as a challenge of sorts. Can I find the beauty in whatever situation I am going through? I know there is always something beautiful and grateful to be found. In the beginning, the trick is sticking with it long enough to find. What is the payoff for this challenge? Noticing the beauty that is all around us. What is the big deal there? It changes our emotional state. If you stop and think about it, our lives are our emotional states. If you are poor, and are an angry and pissed off person, what is your life? Angry and pissed off. Now if you got money and became a rich angry and pissed off person, what is your reality? It is still angry and pissed off. Therefore, taking charge of our emotional state is taking charge of our life.

The more you can find the beauty that is all around you, the more beautiful your life becomes. Let me use my own current situation as an example. I am writing this in a coffee shop as I so often do. Across from me, a couple is sitting side by side doing their homework together. Rather beautiful. The sun is shining through the windows despite it being a rather chilly October day. This is rather beautiful. Behind me, I hear the sounds of friends laughing together while enjoying a coffee. Laughter is a beautiful sound. The fact that I can enjoy a hot cup of coffee is a beautiful thing. At the turn of the last century, coffee was a rare commodity. Kind of hard to imagine now. Lucky me.

How about your life? What is beautiful in your life? Remember, it doesn‘t have to be perfect to be beautiful. Even the broken can be beautiful. I recall the pain of losing those I loved, and really struggling to find the beauty in that. What I learned was that in order to hurt so greatly, we first have to love so greatly. This is not an opportunity afforded to all. The more loss we feel, the greater we have loved. It also means we are better able to understand and help those who also experience and feel loss. Something we would not be able to do had we not felt the loss ourselves. The beauty in the struggle is the opportunity to feel the victory in overcoming, or even just pushing on. I would love to hear what is beautiful in your life at the moment. The more we stop and look for beauty, the more it will appear. Wouldn’t you like your life to be more beautiful?

LIVE IN A LOVING WORLD 🌎

Mr. Dyer got it right here! He grew up in a rough world. He lived in an orphanage a good part of his young life. He had many challenges, but still viewed the world as a loving world. To some of the more cynical, this may sound like some positive thinking nonsense. Let us take a step back and look at what we are talking about with this quote, because it really is a good one.

Let us start from the beginning. “Loving people live in a loving world.” Does this mean that they will never face challenges? Of course not. Does this mean that everyone in their life will be loving? We all know that you cannot control others, nor should you try. What does it mean? It means that by being loving to others, they are far more likely to receive that love in return. Let us look at a logical example. I am writing in a local coffee shop, as I so often do. When I come here, I am always pleasant to the staff. Not only because that is how we should be, but because I know first hand how challenging working with the public can often be. Knowing that I always treat them with respect and kindness, how do you think they feel when they see me coming through the door? What kind of service do you think I will receive, even on a busy day? This not only holds true for people working at a coffee shop, but your friends, the Uber driver, your coworkers and anyone else you come in contact with.

Now, let us look at the second part of the quote. “Hostile people live in a hostile world.” If you are someone who is always complaining or noticing what is wrong in the world, how do you think others will treat you? Let us take the same coffee shop example. If you always complain about your drink, or treat retail help like indentured servants, how do you think they will feel when they see you walk through the door? What kind of service do you think you will receive? Nobody really wants to be around a hostile or negative person, even a hostile or negative person.

The last two words of this quote may be the most powerful, “Same world.” In every life there are things to complain about. There are circumstances that are unfair and negative. There are also moments of beauty and joy. There are random acts of kindness to notice. It is not about denying either of these, but which one we focus on. The crazy powerful thing about it is, the choice is ours. If the world seems unloving or unusually negative, we can turn it around quicker than we might think. If we feel like life has been unfairly hostile to us, we can change that too. Whatever we feel our life is lacking, we need to give away. Tony Robbins says, “The secret to living is giving.” It really is. Not only will giving bring us a great amount of joy, but it will also bring us untold returns. Whether we give away love and positivity or hostility and negativity is up to us. Just so I can have two posts that quote both Winnie-the-Pooh and Tony Robbins to make the same point, I will leave you with this quote from that loveable bear.

YOU’RE DOING GREAT!😃

On this site, we have focused a great deal on gratitude. For my money, there is nothing that will positively affect your life more intensely, or quicker, than developing an attitude of gratitude. Focusing on all of the amazing things that we do have in life will place us in a state of abundance quicker than anything else I know.

Today’s post is a little of the opposite. This may sound a bit funny after all of positives we listed in the paragraph above, but hear me out. Today is about focusing on all of the challenges we have in our lives. Not to leave us feeling overwhelmed. No. No. Understanding that we have kept going despite many things that would have stopped others. We may have stumbled. We may have fallen. We have not given up! Look in the mirror and realize that you have survived 100% of your worst days. Even the days that seemed the darkest.

Today, take some time to recognize how strong you are, even if it does not always feel like it. You have made it, despite feeling the urge to give up. You should be proud of yourself. We, at Secret2anamazinglife.com, are proud of you. By reading this blog post you are working to improve your life and add just that little bit more light. Now, go out into the world with your head held high! You may have a long way to go to be where you want to be, but you are a far way from where you used to be. More importantly, you are still here. Still striving. You are stronger than you think! Be proud of yourself.

THIS IS SCARY 😨

Today begins the month of October. Many of us spend this month watching scary movies and putting up decorations of ghosts, goblins and such. We read scary stories and dress up for Halloween. Here is a scary thought that I would like to share with you today. The quote above says it all. Do not forget this month, while you are thinking about what type of candy would bring a smile to the faces of the children that come to your door, to think about what would bring a smile to your face as well

The truly scary part in life is that many of us do not make ourselves, and by default our happiness, a priority. We worry about what we must do at work to keep the boss happy. We worry about what we have to do at home to keep the spouse and/or the family happy. We worry about our friends, our relatives and those we care about. This is all good, but without keeping our own well-being in mind, it can lead to disaster. It can have us feeling like we have a drained battery. It can have us trying to fill someone’s cup from our empty pitcher. Whatever analogy works for you. The fact is that the better we take care of ourselves, the better we can take care of those around us.

This is so true. Even those who love us and really want the best for us, can often have a bad day. They can be preoccupied with their own life challenges. We must remember to spend some time each day dedicated to making sure our own happiness and inner peace are intact. Doing so will provide us the best opportunity to serve others and do so in a way that feels good, not draining. In fact, feeling drained or overwhelmed is often the way the body is signaling to us that we need to spend a little more time on self-care. That is not to say we should become self-absorbed, but that we should spend some of our life making ourselves a priority. This will not only allow us to serve others better, but increase the quality of our life as we do so.

HANG WITH THESE PEOPLE 😊

As this post is published, it is the start of the weekend! Saturday baby! A day generally reserved for relaxation and hanging out with friends. Today’s thoughts will serve you not only on a Saturday, but on any day you read this. It is not about only associating with people who can “Get us things.” No. It is about associating with people who can bring something to our spirit. People who remind us to practice self-care. People, who by their very presence, are self-care. Someone who will inspire us. Someone who makes us feel heard or accepted. These are the people we should surround ourselves with. They will make our lives feel so much richer and fuller.

A quick reminder that life is a balance. It is not just about receiving, but about giving. Can you give to them the great things they bring to you? It is often the great listener that is longing to be heard. It is the one who pays genuine compliments that needs to hear some reassuring words the most. How can you not only appreciate the good others bring to you, but learn from it and pass it not only to others, but back to them as well? This is the secret to life. It is quite often in the giving that we feel the greatest joy.

WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR POWER 🔋

Here is something you may not be aware of – you have amazing power. This does not depend on your professional position. It does not depend on the amount of followers you have on social media. Yes, all of these are a form of power, but there are far more intense ways of having power. You have the power to affect and influence your spouse, your children, your parents, your coworkers and even the cashier at the grocery store. You have the power to impact other drivers as you make your way down the street.

You may be wondering how you have power over all of these people. Let me explain. Your spouse. This is an easy one. The people closest to us are the ones who can affect us the greatest. You can say something to make them feel loved and attractive. You can also ignore them or make them feel like they are not a priority. The choice is really up to you. Your children. You can pass on all of the lessons you learned in life. You could also say one thing while doing another. Children learn far more by example than by words. Even your parents. You can make them proud by your actions, or you can make them feel like they failed as parents when you end up in jail for some immoral behavior. How about coworkers? Have you ever noticed when someone is on edge in the office, almost everyone is? There are people who come into work and can bring a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. Be the second person as often as you can. It will be better for everyone.

Even other motorists on the street. You can wave with one finger or the whole hand. That is up to you. It can impact someone’s entire day. In my neighborhood, I do my best to wave and give a smile to all of my neighbors. Even if I do not know them, it gives a feeling of community and hopefully a little pleasant feeling to their day. Cashiers at the grocery store, or anyone in retail, have their share of challenging customers to deal with. Being a pleasant and appreciative customer can not only make their day go by quicker, it can make them feel better about themselves and the world at large.

Does this seem like hyperbole? Think of when you have someone cut you off in traffic. Do you find yourself saying things like, “People are driving so crazy these days!” Suddenly, your view of the world’s drivers has taken a hit. Someone rude to you at work? Suddenly, customers are so demanding! Why can’t people have manners like they used to? Your opinion of the world is affected. It may not last very long, then again it might, but even for a moment, that person had the power to affect you. This is a power we all have. Are we using that power for good? Are we using our powers at all? Let us put our powers in action and let us use them for good as often as we can!

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIKE AND LOVE ❤️

This thought is so powerful. Not just for the obvious impact on our relationships, but on life in general. Let us start with relationships. I love Margie. I think anyone who knows me, has that pretty much figured out. One could say that I ‘plucked this beautiful flower out of the garden of life’. That is not entirely true. When you pick something, whether that is a person or a flower, you aim to own it. Once you take that view, things can begin to go south in a hurry. In love, we should not focus on possession, but on giving. As the quote above says, when you find a flower you love, you water it daily. That way, it will allow that flower to be a part of your life for as long as possible. Would that same not hold true for people?

Before you get your squirt gun out and possibly irritate your spouse, let me explain. ‘Watering’ someone simply means to give them what they need to grow. In my case, it is helping get Margie what she needs to create her cakes and other magic. It is also introducing her to videos and books to help expand her base of knowledge and introduce her to new concepts. It is helping her see more of the world by traveling with her. It is also giving her a place, and a person, to feel safe and vulnerable with. On occasion, we do attack each other with squirt guns, but that is all part of the fun.

Different quote, but same idea. What I like about this one, is the very last line. “Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.” This is something we could all ponder. No matter how good your love is, adding a little appreciation would make it even better. Love is about seeing which of you can give more. This could be in a relationship, a friendship or any other type of relationship. The facts still hold true. Even if it is a relationship that is suffering or on the verge of dying, a little watering could bring it back to life.

This is obvious when it comes to relationships, but it is true of anything we love in life. You love your career? What can you give to it? How can you show it more appreciation? When I become frustrated with my writing, it is in finding new ways to give or reach new audiences that I feel inspired once again. How about you? What are some things, or someone, you love in life? Have you been trying to possess them or appreciate them? How could you show them more appreciation and ‘water’ them more? I would love to hear your answers in the comments below.

APPRECIATION NOT POSSESSION ❤️

Think of all the things, and people, in your life. Are you seeking to possess them, or are you truly appreciating them? If it is the former, how can you show them more appreciation?

HOW TO AVOID THE DANGER FACING EVERY RELATIONSHIP AND FALL MORE IN LOVE THAN EVER BEFORE! ❤️

Your relationship is in danger! This includes not only friendships, but most importantly your intimate relationship. In fact, this is the one that may be in the greatest danger. What is the giant threat facing your relationship? Before we get to that – a warning. This threat may seem like not such a big deal. Trust me it is. If you value any, or all, of your relationships, take notice of what we are going to talk about today. More important than taking notice, is taking action. If you do, you will not only neutralize this dangerous threat, you will deepen your relationships and fall more in love than ever before. This is true whether that love is romantic or platonic.

The threat facing all relationships, be they friend or lover, is society’s tendency to focus on what is wrong with someone or something. I cannot recall how many times at work I see people gathered around complaining about they person they are in a relationship with. If someone doesn’t add to the conversation, they are looked at as a little odd. I never understood this. Why would you want the person you are with look anything less than beyond perfect? By making them look bad, what does that say about you? Here is the true danger – it gives others something to remind you of and to add to. If you want success in your relationship, share as much of what is right, and none of what is wrong. This holds true double for social media. Raise your hand if you know a couple that is constantly breaking up and falling in love online? Same two people. Depending on the day, they are either convincing you the other is the bottom of humanity, or they are the reason they get up in the morning. Do you know how that makes the two of you look? Like a couple of clowns.

Another thing that sharing negative information about friends, or worse the person you love, does is give others ammunition. There are always people who wish to break up friendships and relationships. Maybe they are jealous of your happiness? Maybe they want the friend or spouse you have? Whatever their motive, sharing your problems or negative thoughts gives them something to work with. They can either take that information and spread it to others, often including the person you were discussing, causing a further rift in the relationship. They can also remind you of these negative thoughts. A somewhat innocent comment like, “I know things seem good now, but remember when they did ___ to you?” This can put a limit to the amount of joy you can experience with someone and increase the negative feelings in a relationship.

The cure to this is really quite simple. Share as much wonderful things about your friends and those you love with as many people as you can. This will not only prevent them from finding a crack in your friendship and relationship to take advantage of, but it will also strengthen your feelings for that other person by reminding yourself of all the wonderful things about them you may have forgot. It will also have you looking a lot better in the eyes of others. Who wants to be friends with someone who is constantly speaking negative about people, or discussing problems they have with them? What do you think will happen as soon as you are not around? No, instead share the love. If it gets back to them, they will be quite impressed. If it doesn’t, it will still lead to an increase in the positive feelings you have for this person. Either way, it will strengthen the relationship and prevent the ever lurking danger from harming it. Speak love, feel love. What is something you find amazing about one of your friends or the person you love?

IF IT FEELS GOOD, DO IT!🙃

This blog post title comes with a caveat. If what feels good to you causes harm to yourself or others, than by all means, do NOT do it. I will not be responsible for you trying some ridiculous Tik Tok challenge. What I can tell you, is that if you find something in your life that feeds your soul, do it and do it often. In life, we are all to often asked, or required, to do things that drain our spirit and our soul. That could be a job that we do not relish. It could be coworkers that are less than inspiring.

This is a picture of my beautiful love, Margie, and I at the Wisconsin State Fair. Almost 20 years ago, I decided that was one of my favorite places to be. Since being with Margie, it has turned into two of my favorite places to be. The Wisconsin State Fair and with her. I enjoy the food, the garden and art tours throughout the grounds, dancing in the sand at the reggae bar and all of the kitchen gadgets that Margie and I purchase that we do not need. It runs 11 days in early August. On a fine day in 1996, I decided if I liked it so much, why don’t I attend it all 11 days? I have done so every year since. I go with different people and always have a great time. Some of my friends like the bands. Some of them like the food. Some like shopping and I hope they all like spending a day with yours truly.

A few years ago I even purchased a personalized brick to be placed at the fair. It not only went to support the event, but celebrated my favorite person to attend with. It has become an added bonus to look at when we are there. Creating memories with friends, family and of course Margie, is something I look forward to all year long. By the time you read this, we will have attended the first day with my mother. We have plans with good friends Faith, CJ, Nicci, Chris, Heidi and others. Each one will be a sharing of happiness, friendship and love for life.

If there is something in your life that brings joy to your spirit and soul, celebrate it as often as you can. Life will certainly throw challenges your way. It is always good to have something ready to lift your spirit. Why not? We all deserve that inner joy and sense of well-being. I look forward to hearing what brings joy to that beautiful heart of yours.