This may seem counterintuitive, but it really makes sense if you stop and think about it. Take them one at a time. Love is a great example. Love is not always of the romantic type. Although it works the same for both. Love is compassion, understanding and respect. At least it should be. When you love someone, that is show them compassion, understanding and respect, the more likely they are to do it to you. The more that you ‘give it away’ to others, the more people are likely to give it back to you. Will there be some exceptions? Of course. If you wish to have a life filled with more love and understanding, the best way to accomplish this is by giving it away.
Abundance is a little harder to wrap your head around. First thing to note is that abundance is not always money. If you have an abundance of anything, the best thing you can do is share it with those less fortunate. This can be your time, a shoulder to cry on or an ear to sit and listen. The more you do these for others, the more they are likely to reciprocate. Even when it comes to money this is so. Think of someone who picks up the tab when you go out to eat. Would you not want to do the same for them the next time?
The point is that in life if you do something for others, they are more likely to do it for you. Therefore, if you want more of something in your life, it only makes sense to put as much of it as you can into the world. The more you do it, and the more people you do it to, the more it will come back to you. Do not take my word for it. This coming week try putting as much genuine kindness out into the world. If you are already kind, double your efforts. Do this for a week straight and see what happens the following week.
This is a change in mindset that could really motivate us. The funny thing is that it is the truth. Often, I use the hourglass as a metaphor for our life. The sand is always going from top to bottom. Just like the time in our life is always fleeting. This should motivate even those who procrastinate the most. You do not get ‘one more day’ on earth, you actually have one less. One less day to leave a meaningful legacy. One less day to love those closest to you. One less day to become the best version of who you can be.
Most of you who follow this blog know that I had a brief flirtation with death not all that long ago. In fact, I did die, but not to ruin the plot of my book, The Beat Goes On, but I came back. That whole experience certainly changed my outlook on life as you might imagine it would. The crazy part is that it was not the actual dying and coming back, but the time leading up to it that had the greatest impact on me. Knowing that in 2 months I would have a surgery that could end my life (I did not know it actually would briefly) was not a scary prospect in terms of me not being here. What really scared me is what I would, or in some cases would not, leave behind.
I thought of the Native American saying, “It is a good day to die.” Meaning that if your life were to end today, would you be happy with the life you lived up to that point? I realized that although I had turned around a great many aspects of my life that I had a long way to go to live a life that I would be at peace leaving. For one, I felt that I had not done enough to leave the world a better place. There was so much more content to create. There were more books to write, more videos to make, and of course more blogs to write. Since that day I have written a blog for nearly 1300 days straight. My fourth book will arrive in 2026. My podcast has moved to YouTube (See Living the Dream with Neil Panosian),
Every day we have one less opportunity. Some days may be tough, others may seem impossible. Even those days we must take advantage of. We must never miss an opportunity to show kindness or lighten the burden of another. We may never have the chance again. How many more opportunities will we have to tell, and more importantly show, those we love how much we care for them? Each day is one less chance. Make the most of today.
My upcoming fourth book will revolve around the concept of falling back in love with your life. To that end, I have been spending a good deal of time thinking about just such a topic. What does falling in love with life look like, feel like and more to the point, how can we accomplish it? Falling in love with life sounds like a complex, New-age sort of goal. It really is neither. Falling in love with life is much like falling in love with a person. It is in considering this, we can answer all of the questions we asked earlier.
When you first fall in love with someone, how does it feel? Like you are walking on clouds. Nothing they do really bothers you… that much anyway. As time goes on, you have your little disagreements. Maybe even a few big ones too. Without realizing it, the hurts and disappointments mount. Not only in your partner, but in yourself as well. Asking yourself why you said or did that stupid thing that hurt your partner. Soon, little things that you didn’t even notice tend you drive you crazy. The more this happens, the more crazy you get. It can be like a snowball rolling downhill.
If this is true, and we all know it is, how does any relationship last? Even more to the point, how do some maintain that love and even grow? It would seem impossible looking at the facts we explored above. The truth is hard for many to take, and too hard for some to do. The truth is falling in love is work. No matter how amazing your partner is, and believe me I have the best, it takes work. Those disappointments must be balanced with moments of care and compassion. We must work on controlling our emotions and proper and healthy communication. We must not only accept our mistakes in learning, but those of our partner. In striving to be better, we will slip on occasion. Growth is never linear. In addition to acceptance, we must learn from them. Every painful lesson has in it the seed of greater understanding and growth.
How do you know if you are succeeding and growing? Do you find yourself arguing about the same things over and over? Are your disagreements more frequent? Then you have some work to do. This work takes years and involves much pain and uncomfortable moments. Why would anyone go through that? The reward is worth far more than the struggle. Being with someone who can not only still make you feel like you are walking on clouds, but has the knowledge of your past hurts and mistakes and still loves you is on another level. Learning and developing yourself is a process that positively affects everything in your life, including your relationship. Look at the photos of my lady and I above. They are 5 years apart and the love has only grown.
Falling in love with life is much the same as falling in love with another person. At first, when we are children every bit of life is a miracle. As we get older, more challenges arise. The hurts we experience tend to mount up. Life can end up seeming like a chore or a job. How can we maintain our love of life, like we do in our relationship? By using the same tools. Yes, there will be the same challenges. We will have moments of doubt. There will be lessons that are uncomfortable to learn. We will have to confront and fix things about ourself that we may not like to. We must work hard to change our mindset. Changing our focus from what is wrong to what is right. That does not mean denying some things need work. No, it means seeing those things as opportunities instead of challenges or failures. It also means spending time focusing on the miracles of life. All of the blessings we take for granted.
Reading this, it may sound like a new-age nonsense advice column, but it is the truth. Feeling like life is a miracle and everyday is an opportunity verses like life is a battle or a job makes all of the difference. Which one do you currently feel? What could you do to change that perception? Falling back in love with your life takes a lot of work, but the payoff is worth far more. The more effort you put in, the greater the return. You only get one life, why not work to enjoy it to the fullest?
Here is hoping your Holiday season is coming along quite well. One question that is always difficult for me to answer is, “What would you like for Christmas?” The same is true for my birthday and any other celebration. I may have finally come up with the perfect gift. Looking at my life, I certainly have enough ‘stuff’. Probably more stuff than I need. My relationship is amazing and with the most beautiful lady. Time spent with family and friends are always so rewarding. My job pays me fairly well. What possibly could be something I am missing?
The gift I am speaking of is continuation. How many people ask for that under the tree? When you have a life like mine, there is so much to be grateful for, why would you need anything on top of that? All I would like is more of the same. Waking up next to the woman I love. Having a job to go to. Being able to work out and continue my journey to good physical fitness. Coming home to that same beautiful and wonderful woman. Going for walks and out to coffee with my mom. Trips to the zoo and museum on occasion. Great conversations with friends. Having the privilege of sharing my thoughts and the tools and strategies with wonderful souls around the country and around the world! These are all gifts I would just like to continue in the coming year.
Are there challenges in my life? Sure. My job is not the most inspiring and does not make the best use of my talents. The weather where I live is far too cold for my liking. There are miscommunications with those we care about. There are many different challenges. Do I wish for those to continue? Yes, actually I do. It is those that allow us to grow and become better versions of ourselves. They are not always fun, but sometimes there are necessary. They also test our commitment and resolve towards becoming that best version of ourselves. Are you living a life that if it were to continue as it is that you would be grateful? If not, what is standing in the way of that and how can you change it? This holiday season, let us collect our blessings and gratitude and understand they are the greatest gifts of all.
This post could have been titled “Secret to an amazing relationship”. That is what this quote is. A truly great relationship is not just about intensity, but longevity. That may seem painfully obvious, but it is worth saying here in black and white. Even if a relationship has the burning passion of a bonfire, what good is that passion if it burns out rather quickly? Of course it would be great to have a passionate relationship that lasts for a very long time, if not forever. The million dollar question is how to do that.
Consideration is one of the very important tools you can use to give your relationship longevity. Being able to look at a situation, and consider its ramifications, from your partner’s point of view is a priceless skill. It is true that we will never know with 100% certainty how something will affect our partner, friend or coworker. What we can do is use the tools and strategies at our disposal to be able to have an educated and informed thought on the matter.
What tools and strategies will allow you to best be able to consider the other party’s feelings and how the situation may affect them? There are a few big ones I would advocate putting into practice. The first one is active listening. When the other party is venting about something that upsets them, pay attention. When they mention what would bring them joy, pay attention. If you ever have a question about the matter, do not assume. Asking questions for clarity is part of active listening. Listening with the purpose of learning and understanding is also part of active listening. If you go into a conversation with a plan of learning more about the other person, you are more likely to be successful with it.
The other aspect that can really help you better consider another party’s position on a matter is having meaningful dialogue. Many people call this “Having the hard conversations”. They may seem like something you may not want to do, but being able to know where someone stands on a difficult issue prior to that issue occurring, is a big advantage. Begin the conversation by letting them know you are asking because you want to know how best to act should that situation come up. Make it clear you are interested in their feelings and the health of the relationship between both of you. When they do tell you how they feel, or where they stand on a certain issue, accept it without judgement. Remember you are not trying to get them to think like you, just understand how they think.
Using these tools and strategies your relationships will stand a lot better chance of succeeding. When you show consideration for another, it demonstrates that you value them as a person and their roll in your life. If you are wrong in your estimation of how a situation may affect them, or how they feel about it, learn from that too. Before long, all of your relationships will start to improve.
Today we are celebrating 1250 days in a row we have met here to discuss tools and strategies for success and living an amazing life. Hopefully, today’s post will inspire you and assist you in both of these endeavors. It is about a subject that many struggle with, including those who sit in powerful positions. That is the art, and ability to admit we are wrong.
Admitting we are wrong is never an easy thing to do. It does not feel good. We fear that it makes us look unintelligent or at the very least, not as impressive in someone else’s eyes. The quote above may help us to look at admitting we are wrong in a different light. It not only shows that you are capable of learning and adding to your intellect as Mr. Swift noted, but I think there are a few more things that admitting we are wrong actually do for us. Let us take a look at a few of them below.
Have you ever encountered one of those people who are totally incapable of admitting they are wrong? They come across as arrogant and it actually makes them look fragile. It takes a good deal of self-confidence to admit fault. It shows a certain vulnerability and humbleness. In the case of disagreements in our personal relationships, I think it shows that we are more committed to a solution and solving a problem than being right. It also demonstrates that you are capable of considering the other persons feelings and point of view.
With all of these great traits to be shown by being wrong, we should never be afraid of admitting it. Something to keep in mind is how you handle it when someone admits they are wrong to you. Do you hold it over them? Do you see the traits we mentioned above? How you handle someone else’s mistakes will go a long way in determining how they will handle yours. Show appreciation for them being brave enough to admit their mistake to you. Be thankful you are not with someone who never admits they are wrong.
Last post we discussed how a mere 6 inches can make a huge difference in the world. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, you might wish to take a peak. The more I thought about it, the more that holds true in relationships as well. I almost titled this post “6 inches makes the difference in relationships” but that certainly could be misinterpreted. Do you best to get that thought out of your mind and let us move on.
Having a successful relationship is not as difficult, or as complicated as many would have you believe. Setting up some great communication and respect is all it really takes. You can have an ordinary successful relationship. My guess is that if you are reading this that would not be enough for you. Someone reading a site called “Secret2anamazinglife” would most likely want an amazing relationship. This is also not as complicated or difficult as you may think. There are a few basic mindset changes to make. By making these mindset changes, you will automatically take actions that will lead to relationships that are deeper, healthier and more productive for both parties.
How do you take your relationships from ordinary to extraordinary? The answer is in the words themselves. How to you change the word ‘ordinary’ to ‘extraordinary’? You simply add a little extra to it. This is exactly how it works in relationships. Perhaps your spouse asks you to stop at the store to pick up an item for them. Why not pick up a little surprise? Do not know what they would like? There is a good place to start, by listening. When they ask you to help them with something, try doing it with a smile and doing a little bit extra.
These may seem like obvious actions to take, but there are more subtle ones as well. As we briefly touched on above, why not practice listening more. This is not listening to respond, but to understand. Listen to learn. Our partners, or any relationship for that matter, will tell us what they like and dislike and what makes them happy and unhappy if only we would listen. Think of all the ability you would have to improve your relationships if you knew the other party’s likes and dislikes? Their favorite movies, books, places to eat, things to do for fun and anything else they would share. This will also make gift giving a lot less stressful for you as well.
Sometimes the extra can be time. Spending that little extra time thinking about the other person. What makes them happy? What can you do to make them happy or to take away some of their stress? One of my favorite things to do is to spend that little extra time thinking about everything you have to be grateful for in regards to this person. Then, you can think about how you would like to express this gratitude. Let me assure you that expressing genuine gratitude for someone and everything they bring to your life is some of the best ‘extra’ you can do. Do not take my word for it. Try it yourself!
Go the little bit extra. Whether that is a little extra silly or creating memories that even get you on the news, put a little extra effort in. That extra will take you from ordinary to extraordinary! On the top of your list should be thinking of what you have to be grateful for and how to express it!
Many people ask what the secret of success tothe success of my relationship with my beautiful lady is. It is not just focusing on how to create more happy moments, although that is important. Equally important is knowing what to do when the sun doesn’t seem to be shining on your love.
Knowing how to handle the “valleys” of a relationship is just as important as celebrating the “peaks”. Take a look at the list above. It is a good set of rules to have in place to ensure your love lasts a lifetime. Tell me what are some of the rules you have for disagreements that keep your love strong?
This popped up on my social media feed on Sunday, so I thought I would share it here on our uplifting Wednesday post. Not only is it a great reminder that indeed that we are all amazing in some way that that we all deserve to be happy, but that it is good to be reminded of it.
I would encourage all of us to share more things like this not only on our social media platforms, but in real life too. Letting someone, be that friend or stranger, know that they are amazing, appreciated and deserve to be happy can do a lot more than we think. All of us face challenges we never share. We can get wrapped up in the insanity of life and forget our value. To be reminded of that may help someone pursue their purpose, bring a light to their life, or even save their life. Doesn’t that make it worthwhile?
Think of ways in which we can remind each other that we are amazing, appreciated and deserve to be happy. It would be great if you can share them in the comments. That way we can all do a better job of inspiring each other.
Here are some powerful yet simple words of wisdom from Frida. She was a great Mexican painter and also had some of the best eyebrows! These words are not complicated, yet in them is the secret of a great relationship. It is doing away with the things we know hurt our partners. Things like lies and lack of communication. Replace them with simple things such as hope and coffee. Those two can be one in the same depending on the day. One of my favorite moments in the world is having coffee on the front porch with the love of my life. Just the two of us watching the traffic, birds and whatever else happens by. Do not take these simple, seemingly insignificant, times for granted.
Bringing hope to your partner can seem a bit more complicated, but it need not be. When I have a hard day at work, or face a cold winter day on the way home, my heart is filled with anticipation of the beautiful face that will greet me at the door and hope for the love the will fill the evening we spend together.
Lastly, let us talk about poetry. Every word out of our mouth does not have to sound like a sonnet from Robert Browning, but it would not hurt us to read a little poetry. Expanding the capacity we have for expressing our emotions is always a good thing. Gentleman, this is directed more towards you, but it goes equally for all. Telling someone, “I like your smile.” is great. Telling that person, “When I see your smile it gives me the same warm feeling I get when I see a beautiful sunrise.” goes a little bit further. They can mean the same thing, but certainly convey a different feeling.
We often want to make love this complicated thing. It is not. Do less of the bad stuff and invest more time on learning and doing the good stuff. By process of elimination, the more time you spend on learning and doing good stuff, the less chance you will have to do something that would hurt the relationship. One final thought. This works just as well in friendships, working and business relationships as it would in romantic relationships.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 