DOES IT MATTER?


We have all heard the saying If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? The premise being if there is no receiver, does the action still matter? The quick answer is “yes”. According to the laws of physics, the sound still happens. Dynamite does not silently explode because the workers have retreated to a safe distance. That should seem quite obvious.
This had me thinking of the flip-side of this equation. What about the creative side of things? What if you were to plant a tree and nobody was around to see you do it? Would it still matter? The quick answer again would be “yes”. The tree would still grow. People would enjoy its shade and any fruits if it was that sort of tree. The birds would still be able to use its branches to rest or perhaps even build their nests. The tree would still filter the air to make the world better for everyone.
What does all of this have to do with living a more amazing life? Plenty. I am not just speaking to the arborists that read this blog. This question came up during an absolutely wonderful heart-felt conversation between the love of my life, Margie, and me. The question was – If you do an act of kindness and nobody knows about it or benefits from it in the moment, is it still worth doing? The quick answer, much like our tree analogies, is “yes”. This can be as simple as picking up a piece of litter as you are walking. In the long run it may not change the world, and may seem insignificant, but it is not. Many of you may be thinking “Why should I go out of my way to pick up someone else’s garbage?” Really, you shouldn’t have to. It is their responsibility and their fault it is on the ground.
So why do these things? The reasons are plenty, and I would really enjoy hearing some of the ones you think I may have missed in the comments below. On a personal level, doing kind and right things when nobody is watching is what developing a strong character is all about. If you do what is right when there is no one watching, you will do the right thing when people are watching. This holds true for many aspects of life. Healthy eating comes to mind. If you tell everyone you are eating healthy, but then go home and eat half a dozen doughnuts your waist will resemble…well…a doughnut. The same is true for gossip. If you talk well of others in public, but still gossip with your coworkers about this person or that, your spirit will not be at peace.
Another reason is simple, yet very important – you never know if somebody is watching. At my day job at the post office we have a poster reminding the carriers to handle each package with the care and respect it deserves. There is a not so subtle reminder that everyone has cell phones and even if you don’t think anyone is watching, before long the whole world may be watching. I have heard people say things such as “Well just because somebody does something once, it may not be who they really are.” or the very insightful phrase, “They wouldn’t have done that if they thought someone was watching/listening.” The point is this – we are what we do whether someone is watching or listening or not. We are what we repeatedly say and do. Of course we all make mistakes and that should be understood, but it is important to cultivate our character by acting consistently whether someone is watching or not.
Also, doing something good when we know, or at least think, that no one is watching gives us a good feeling inside. If you are new to this blog it we often stress the importance of keeping our state positive. Being in a positive state helps us reduce stress, increase joy and just feel better about ourselves. When that happens the ripple effect is our treatment of others and the attitude we bring to our jobs, family, friends and the world at large.
Lastly, like in the tree example, this has an unknown ripple effect. Later, by picking up that littler, we may bring a person joy when they see a clean street instead of one filled with garbage. We may have helped prevent an animal or child from picking that garbage up and putting it in their mouth. We may have had a great impact and never know it. Is doing something good or right worth doing if nobody ever knows or we can’t see the positive impact? The answer, as you may have deciphered, is a resounding “YES”.

IT REALLY WORKS… BOTH WAYS

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Law of attraction…it seems to be everywhere these days. Since the movie The Secret came out, everyone seems to think they are an expert in this field. The truth about the law of attraction, or LOA as it is sometimes known, is that the more we learn, the more there is to learn.

Most people understand the Law of attraction to be in the simplest of terms, you think about something and it happens. That is the first mistake. That is not at all how it works…exactly. A better way to word how this universal law works is whatever you focus on expands. I find a great example of this in people who are, in my humble opinion, overly political. You know the people, they fill your social media and conversation with how terrible one political party is while believing the other can do no wrong. Let’s face it, if it were that simple elections wouldn’t be necessary. These people, while focused on there beliefs seem to find a treasure trove of examples. It doesn’t matter what their beliefs are either. They tend to turn into one type of news channel, they read only one kind of publication.

Recently, I have noticed a different type of law of attraction phenomenon. There are some of my female friends who are having the hardest time meeting a decent man to date. Even those that show promise end up having some deep dark secret addiction or turn out to be someone else completely from who they are pretending to be. These ladies are decent hard-working people that I believe honestly would enjoy a great relationship. Why are they having no luck? After every bad relationship experience they are sharing posts about it online. They find memes or quotes that reflect how terrible men are. They share news stories about men who cheat and some even add words of their own such as “See all men are the same.” or “Romance doesn’t exist anymore.” It seems rather silly to say all people of any race, country, creed much less gender are the same. By instilling that belief in themselves their minds will subconsciously be focused on finding examples to support that.

Much like when you buy a new car and start to see that car everywhere. Imagine if you focus on the inferior gentleman you have recently shared a date with, what do you think you will find everywhere? This is based on science. It is using a part of our brain called the reticular activating system it is the portion of our brains that tell us what is important. Just like the car you just purchased. Everyone didn’t just run out and buy the same car, they were there all of the time. Your brain just decided it was important to notice. Are there other cars on the road you are not noticing? Sure because you did not recently purchase those models. Are there examples of gentleman who treat their spouses with the respect they deserve? Of course there are, but if you believe there are not, your brain will actually make them invisible to you. That certainly decreases the chances you will wind up dating one.

Speaking of putting our brains to use for us instead of against us, there is another example of using this in reverse. These same wonderful, well-meaning ladies who are dismayed at the lack of respect given to them by men, will be the first on the dance floor when songs with lyrics that are very demeaning to women are on. “I just like the beat.” they will say. “It is just music, I don’t even really listen to the lyrics.” This may be true on a conscious level, but remember there are two parts of the brain. Subconsciously, your brain is hearing these lyrics. They are not only further examples of men who treat women terribly, but often can desensitize individuals to how hurtful this can be. “I would never let a man say those things to me that they say in that song.” I have heard people say. By purchasing and promoting that music you are not only giving these messages a pass, but doing a disservice to women, and gentleman who believe woman deserve equal respect. The more the younger generation is exposed to this kind of material, the more they may feel it is acceptable. Young men need to understand the proper way a women deserves to be treated and young women need to know it is important to hold them accountable.

This, of course, works in both ways. Young men listening to this type of thing may get the wrong impression it is ok to talk about, or worse yet, treat women with a lack of respect. It is not. If your relationships are not what you would like. If you keep meeting all of the wrong kinds of people, look closely at what you are putting out as well as what you are surrounding yourself with. It is far better to focus on what you want, rather than what you want to avoid. Look for examples of the type of man or woman you wish to be with. Where are you most likely to find these people? Go there. Also, be careful what you put in your surroundings. Even though you may think it might not affect you on the conscious level, remember your subconscious mind is always working.

Most importantly, treat each other with respect. Regardless of who we are, we all deserve to be treated with respect and honored. Make sure you do that for others and make sure you do not tolerate anything less for yourself.

WHAT SEEDS DO YOU WATER?

Many people struggle with the Law of Attraction or how like can attract like. Start explaining how thoughts become things and you might lose a good portion of people. You may also get quite a few skeptical looks. I think a lot of this stems from a lack of understanding of this concept. The movie The Secret brought this concept to millions of people who may not have pondered it before. I think the biggest misconception is that all you have to do is sit in your house and think positive thoughts and your life will turn around. That is not quite the way this works.

In order to explain the Law of Attraction or LOA as we will call it, I like to use the analogy of a garden. If you think of your average garden, there is lots of planning involved. First you have to select a good plot of land, or how best to use the plot of land you have. This can be likened to your life. We must decide where and what kind of life we want to live. That includes what we want to have in our lives, what we would like to do for a living, the kind of people we would like to share life with. Some of you may be asking, “Do I really have to plan my life?” The short answer is no, but if you want to create a life of your choosing yes. It is like choosing what kind of things you would like to grow in your garden.

Next is preparing the soil. The plants we are going to grow, do they like sandy soil? Will these plants need to be planted in a space that receives lots of sun, or a little? Just like the elements of our life need to be prepared for. If we are looking to become a best-selling author, hypothetically, then we need to learn about publishing, what is required and begin to practice our writing. We must prepare the soil and plant the seeds of what we want to grow. If you want a healthy and active spouse to share your life with, but you spend every free moment you have grabbing cocktails at the club, you are not planting the seeds for that healthy and active spouse. Your time would be better spent in the gym, or attending healthy cooking classes or even joining online groups and forums that specialize in healthy active lifestyles.

Ok, you have prepped the garden of life and planted the seeds of what you would like to grow inĀ  your life. Now all you do is wait right? Let me ask you what would happen if you planted a garden and just sat back and waited? Two things come to mind – weeds and weather. If you never watered your garden and just relied on mother nature to have the perfect set of circumstances you might get lucky, then again you might have a monsoon or a draught. Ironically, that is how a lot of us approach life. Let us use our aspiring author example. Maybe he writes every day and expands his vocabulary and knowledge. Then he waits for a publisher to discover him in passing. May happen, but chances are it will not. There will be times of good fortune, and tough times. If he sends out applications, or maybe even learns about self-publishing, that is fertilizing and watering the seeds he has planted. The chances his life will blossom and he will have a nice harvest increases greatly the more he tends to his seeds.

Then there is the matter of weeds. Weeds can be viewed as the problems of life. They will always be there and seem to need little or no help to grow. As soon as you pull one weed, another, or maybe two, take its place. If we just close our eyes and say to ourselves, “There are no weeds. There are no weeds.” which is what we do when we expect our thoughts to manifest themselves with no action on our part, our garden will soon be overrun. Conversely, if all we do is look at the weeds and focus on how terrible they are and how they always seem to come back, we can become disgusted with our garden. It is the same when all we do is focus on the problems in our life. It can seem overwhelming and make us want to abandon life all together.

The solution for life is the same as it is for the garden. Continue to water and take care of the seeds we have planted while we pull out the weeds one by one. In life we have to work on our goals a little every day and approach our problems one by one, not allowing ourselves to get overwhelmed.

 

CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 60 SECONDS


Welcome to post number 1000 on Secret2anamazinglife.com. I never imagined I would get here. It has been many countless hours of reading, research and writing to get there. This has been time away from sleeping, relaxing and most importantly time with those I love. Writing happens to be one of the more solitary professions.
As I reflect on the time that has passed since the beginning of the website you are reading, I am amazed on how much my life has changed. I am also amazed at how much of my life was wasted. Wasted on negative emotions such as worry, anger, frustration. Don’t get me wrong, all emotions have their place and can be useful for personal growth and learning. It is when we do not use those emotions in a healthy manner and instead stay in a negative state that we are quite honestly wasting our lives away.
In this milestone post, we are going to change our life in 60 seconds. I suggest writing or printing out the above quote. You would be amazed at how much a printed reminder can turn our thinking around. I don’t expect you to trust me on this one. Prove it to yourself. Print this quote out, or write it in some colorful ink and place it somewhere you will see it several times a day. Put it in the car, by the coffee maker or across from the toilet. Wherever it is you will see it and read it.
What next? Begin to try to be in a state of complete joy for just 60 seconds. How do you do this? That is a personal choice. Look at a picture of your spouse…or your dog…or the spouse or dog you wish you had. Read a funny joke. Remember a great moment you had with a friend. Think of an upcoming vacation you have planned. If you are reading this on the toilet think of how good you are feeling now. Just stay in joy for 60 seconds. The more often we do this the more our lives will improve. Joy attracts Joy. Without going to much into the law of attraction, like attracts like so it will do you good to feel as good as much as possible.
The real challenge is being able to do this when you find yourself in a challenging situation. That will come in time. For right now just experience joy 60 seconds at a time. These minute-long mental vacations will change your life! It will all happen in 60 seconds.
On a personal note, it gives me great happiness to celebrate 1000 posts with you and I look forward to sharing ideas, inspiration and motivation in the next 1000! This will be something that will give me many 60 seconds of happiness. From the bottom of my heart, I want to send a big thank you to those of you who both read and support my efforts!

HOW TO MAKE 2019 YOUR YEAR

Let us clear something up going into the new year, we need to act. I am a big fan of the Law of Attraction. I know it works and personally use it. What some people who see the movie The Secret, or read books on attraction misconstrue is the fact you have to act. You can use vision boards, recite affirmations, journal and meditate, but if you do not follow that with inspired action nothing good will happen. Kind of a bummer I know.

The good news in all of this is once you do the things mentioned above, it will be come more clear and easier to know what actions to take. Those listed in the pictures above would be a great place to start. I particularly like the ‘smile more, be excited’ line. A smile can not only improve the lives of those around you, but will elevate your mood as well. Even when you don’t feel like smiling, give it a try anyway. Often by changing our physical state we can influence our mental and emotional state as well.

Action does another great thing for us, it gives us joy. Tony Robbins said progress equals happiness. I have found that to be very true. If you are working towards a goal and taking steps you are being successful. Another favorite author and speaker of mine, Earl Nightingale, defined success as the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. The word to notice in that definition is progressive. You are not just a success when you achieve your goal, but even as you are working towards it. In other words, if you know where you want to go and are working on getting there you are a success. Even if the steps you are taking do not work out this time, you have just eliminated something that would not work.

This year let us put our minds to work, but we cannot forget to get off the couch and make it happen as the picture above reminds us. Try a few of the items listed above and see how they change your life. I would love to know what action steps all of you are going to take in the new year!

WHAT YOU ARE MISSING

I live in a nice city called West Allis. I work in a different city about a 40 minute drive away. This can make for some exciting days especially in winter. In many ways I have learned to relish the drive as it gives me time to think, or listen to audio books. I love learning and am grateful for the time the drive affords me to do so.

Recently, I have been listening to the book The Power which is the sequel to the popular book The Secret. Both are books on the law of attraction. I recommend both of them. Not to ruin any plots for you, but The Power is about the power of love. Not just of the romantic variety, but how to apply and reap the benefits of the power of love in your own life.

One of the fun things the book advocates doing is finding what you love about certain situations. In doing so you remain more present and aware of your surroundings. One of the ways they mention in the book is asking yourself the question “What do I love?” Asking questions is a great way to take control of your thoughts. Giving your brain a question to find an answer to can give it direction and keep it from going somewhere you might not want it to go.

I was interested in giving my brain the positive task of finding things to love and bring me joy. The 40 minute drive to my day job at the Post Office seemed like the perfect time to give this idea a try. Certainly, the prospect of showing up at work in a great mood was appealing. Let me voice a disclaimer here. Although the idea did appeal to me, I had never really made a conscious effort to do this and kept an open mind. I figured it may be rough going at first and I may find it difficult to find things to love. I could not have been more incorrect! One thing after another seemed to leap to my attention and I could not notice them fast enough! Despite the unexpected nature of this, it was not the most surprising development on that trip.

Every day I take pretty much the same route to work. I reached my decision on 60th street, which at the moment closely resembles a demilitarized zone. Here is what I found so surprising. Even though I take that street at the very least 5 days a week, I was amazed at how much I miss! I decided to try again on the way home. The same result followed. Even just being on the opposite side of the street a whole world I had been missing unfolded before me.

When I got home I began to ask Margie, “Have you seen that building on 60th with the multi-colored bricks?” and a million other things. After taking a few moments to make sure I had not stopped off for some rum after a hard day at the Post Office, Margie had to confess that she too had missed most of these things as well. I then began to tell her about what I have been doing and how the idea came from the book I was listening to. It is here I must tip my hat to Margie. While she also loves to learn, she is very patient and does not complain about the seemingly endless stream of audio books I have playing in the car as we travel here and there. She has even given me the gift of one of my favorite audio books A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, one of my favorite authors.

Here is my suggestion for you. As you travel along today, ask yourself, “What can I find that I love on this journey?” You will be surprised at how much we miss. I have found new restaurants I would like to try, stores I would like to shop at and even a nature trail I would like to hike on. I would love to hear your results in the comments below.