I like this quote. It is an easy way for us to think when we encounter a challenge in life. It is much like encountering a closed road. We would not throw our hands up and abandon the trip. We should do the same for our life and our goals. We can adjust the route. Maybe take a detour, but keep our eyes on the destination.
This year, let us embrace the detours and see what we can learn along the way. Success is never linear. When we experience a delay, it is not a denial. It just may be a detour. Although these are seldom appreciated at the moment, it may be just what we need.
I must confess to not being a fan of ‘fate’ or “It is what it is.” type thinking. Quite the contrary. I believe life is what you make of it. What happens then when we find ourselves in situations that are not only undesirable, but beyond our control? We have all been there. You are on your way to get a nice surprise for someone and another driver hits your car. You drive across town for a nice dinner only to find the restaurant closed. These things happen. What then?
My thinking is still the same. Life is what you make of it. When you find yourself in a situation that is undesirable, ask yourself, “What can I do while I am here?” I recall being one of the first people in the state to get Covid. That was scary. At the time they did not know a lot about it. I have some preexisting conditions such as asthma that could make it worse. Was I scared? Absolutely. Then I asked myself how I could use that situation to serve the greater good. Often, when we take the focus off of ourselves and put it on serving others, great things happen. I decided to make a series of videos to chronical my journey. My hope was that it would take the fear away for many people.
The same happened when I had open-heart surgery two years later. My beautiful love of my life saw that I was rather scared of the whole event and wisely suggested, “Why don’t you write about it?” She even bought me a journal to record my thoughts and events involved. It was the first book I ever wrote by hand before publishing. You can read that fine piece of literary work, The Beat Goes On, by yours truly – Neil Panosian, on Amazon. Again, it was taking the focus off of myself and my problems and looking how it could all serve others and the greater good.
Next time you find yourself somewhere you would rather not be, or with someone you would rather not be with, ask yourself, “How can I use this?” The answer could be to develop some aspect of your character that needs work. If you can find a way to use the situation to serve others, that will be a big win! Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this? How did you use it?
The point of this quote should be obvious. In case it is not, let me expand on it. The more we prepare, the better we will be when faced with a challenge. This really holds true across all areas of life. If we save money, or work to create a good side-hustle, we will be prepared for any financial challenge that may arise. If we work on our health and fitness, we will be better prepared for a challenge in that arena. This came in handy for me when I needed immediate open-heart surgery. The doctor telling me, “If you hadn’t been in such good shape, we would not be having this conversation.” Some good food for thought there. Had I waited to take care of my health until I was told that I had a problem, you might not be reading this.
The common theme through all of these is that if you work on yourself, you will be better prepared to take on any challenge in life. One of the more interesting ones that many of us may not think of is our spirituality. Whatever your faith may be, even if that is faith in yourself, it needs to be fostered and grown. The more you do so, the more you will be ready to face life’s toughest challenges. Many times it is difficult to find the motivation to do what needs to be done in our lives. It is the work we put in when nobody is watching that not only allows us to face challenges, but to grow into the best version of ourselves.
Every second of training and preparation we do, is less damage we will incur when we face a challenge. Trust me when I tell you, face a challenge we all will. You never know when life will test you. The better prepared you are, the more likely you are to pass that test.
Here is an important idea to remember. Things will be okay. This can be hard to accept or believe when we are facing difficult times. There are a million challenges that come to mind that can really try our resolve. Can you think of ones in your past that fit this description? For me, there are several that come to mind. My open-heart surgery and following trip to the hospital. People we care deeply for passing away. Car accidents, job losses. We have all had our share of very serious challenges, have we not?
Here is something to consider, you are reading this. Whatever challenge tried, and may have succeeded, in knocking you down, you are still here. Your record for facing challenges and to keep moving forward is 100%. We all have scars, we may have some pain, be it physical or emotional, that we carry with us, but we are here. That pain, and those challenges, often allow us to better relate to and comfort others going through something similar. It can give us a good story to share with and help inspire others. It can give us motivation that we have overcome a challenge. Eventually, and it may take a good amount of time, everything will be okay. Know that. Trust in that.
There are many axioms that I use to help myself live an amazing life. These are the ones shared on this website, the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast, as well as my books. One of my favorites, that was featured in my second book, Living the Dream, was the power of two questions. Whenever I find myself in a challenging situation, I ask myself to empowering questions. First, I ask myself, “How can I use this?” This takes the challenge from being a liability to being an asset. If you can use a challenge in some way, than it has become a gift. The other question I ask is, “What is good about this?” This question comes second because it can often be hard to see what is good initially. After finding a way to make it work for us, it can be a little easier to find something positive in it.
These questions have served me quite well over the years. They have helped me through many of life’s challenges. We are going to introduce another question that was brought to my attention that I am going to add to my repertoire. As I was posting one of my blogs on LinkedIn (feel free to follow me at the link below) one of my connections had mentioned a question they use in their life. That question is “How can I use this to serve others?” What a beautiful thing to consider! My life’s mission is to help others become the best versions of themselves. If I could find a way to use my challenges to do just that, they would cease to become challenges at all. They would then become tools to use to serve others and the greater good.
How about you? Do you have empowering questions that you ask yourself in challenging situations? How about adding the one my connection on LinkedIn brought to my attention? Actually, using all three of the questions we mentioned here will make challenges something that you use, instead of something that uses you.
In life we all have many challenges. One of mine is the weather where I live. Especially in winter. It seems the older I get, the harder it is to deal with the cold and snow. This year, I vowed to make the best of it and try to maintain a more positive outlook. For a while, mother nature seemed on board with this. The weather was unseasonably warm, and the snow was slight. My attitude seemed to remained elevated. This was good news for my family and friends. I thought to myself, “Neil, you just might do it this year!” Then, mother nature had a wicked grin.
I leave for my day job a little after 4am Monday to Saturday. This morning I woke up to over a foot of snow. As I trudged my way to where my car was parked, I saw it also was covered in snow. Upon reached my car, I discovered it was more ice than snow. Nothing starts the day off right like spending ten minutes chipping ice off your vehicle just to climb inside. Once inside, I began to defrost the windows. Once they were clear, I headed out. Trying to focus on the fact I was grateful to have a vehicle that ran. The plow that went through left a small ridge of snow in it’s path. I had to cross it to get out of the parking lot. As I did my car erupted in a chorus of sounds. None of them were very friendly. It would appear the snow had damaged some vital part of the exhaust. This happened on a Saturday. My mechanic is not open until Monday.
Driving around with a car loud enough to wake the dead is embarrassing enough, but now the temperature, which was doing just fine, is going to drop to ten degrees below zero. This makes my loud car, should it start, quite necessary. It would appear that my resolution to maintain a positive attitude is receiving quite the test. I must remember that is what the world does. I refuse to let it get the upper hand. This is not done alone. My friend CJ jokingly reminded me that some kids are trying to make their cars louder, in essence, I just gave myself a free upgrade. My friend Kurt offered his mechanic. Of course my lovely lady and her smile will keep me warm on the inside. There are my self-improvement skills I not only teach, but practice myself, that will keep me humming along.
All of this serves to remind me that tests are a part of life. They give our resolve strength. They require us to change our focus on what we do have to be grateful for in order to make it through them. It also gives us a platform to demonstrate to others, by our example, that they too can make it through their challenges. When we embrace life’s challenges and put them to work for us, we grow. When we let them get us down, we become less of who we could be. I am going to do my best to grow from this challenge and I invite you to do the same with the challenges in your life.
Here are some acorns. These things are everywhere right now. My mom and I went for a 3 mile hike the other day and almost the whole trail was covered in them. They are fun and add a little extra natural beauty, but you can easily twist an ankle if you are not careful stepping on one. A thought occurred to me as we were walking along the trail. The little acorns we were stepping on, came from the mighty oak trees that we were walking under. Inside everyone one of these little acorns, was a large oak tree that could grow to drop hundreds of more acorns of its own.
I thought about the fact that each one of those acorns could grow into a tree, and there were thousands on the ground. I began to think of what has to occur to turn the acorn into the oak. What came to me was far more than a nature lesson, so please stick with me. In order for the acorn to sprout, or for any seed to do so, it has to be buried in the ground. It must be covered with dirt and water, often for months. If that acorn is never buried, it will never grow into the oak.
This reminded me so much of us as people. Inside every one of us is something waiting to sprout and grow. It may not be as big of a transformation as the acorn to the oak. Then again, it may be even bigger. When life throws a little dirt on us, we have to make a decision. Are we being buried or are we being planted? What is the difference? When you are planted, you are using that dirt as fertilizer. You are stealing the nutrients to help you grow and develop. When you are buried, you are just laying there decaying. Becoming part of the soil, if you want to stick with this analogy. What makes the difference? Our decision. Which one we will decide it will be.
The same holds true with us. When life throws a little dirt on us, we lose a job or a relationship. Maybe the loan we were counting on getting doesn’t come through. Whatever the challenge is, life is throwing a little dirt on us. We could lay there and stay buried, or we could use that dirt. Maybe develop our skills so we can get a better job, or one in our chosen field. We can work on improving our relationship skills so that we will be a better spouse. Perhaps we will be more selective and find someone better aligned with our values? When life throws some dirt on us, we should ask ourselves, am I going to be buried or am I going to be planted?
What if it seems that life has been throwing dirt on us for years and we are not growing one bit? What if we have spent years toiling away, seemingly underground, for little or no result? For that, I will leave you with this little info about the growth cycle of bamboo. Just something to ponder. Don’t give up. Never give up!
When doing a little research for this blog post, I came across this quote. I really like the point it makes. In life, it is never fun to run into ties that challenge you. After vacation, I was looking to get back into my fitness routine. With only two hours notice, the gym I went to decided to close. No advance notice to either their members or their employees! (Not good business Xperience Fitness) Joining a new gym is a rather trying and stressful thing for me. You have to find one relatively close, with the amenities you are looking for and at a reasonable cost. For the next several weeks, I pondered and could not make up my mind.
It was not until a chance conversation with my mother, who was also victim to this gym closer, did a solution occur to me. She mentioned finding out if my insurance had any fitness club benefits. Back story, I have had this insurance since 2002 and never thought of looking into that. It turns out that I can join two different gyms for less than the price I was paying for one. (Welcome VASA and Planet Fitness) Not only will I be back on track to be physically stronger, but the same can be said about my finances. It also gave me a sense of accomplishment to get this all sorted out.
I think another reason life tests you is to strengthen your commitment. Here I was finally all set up with not only one new gym, but two! Ready to work out. I was also looking at a little more free time and eager to start my fourth book. Then….BAM! Literally! I wacked my head into the corner of a metal shelf. There goes time at the gym and staring at a computer screen. I finally had the gym, the time and the urge to start my fourth book. Instead, I was sitting at home with blood coming out of my head and a concussion.
This could have went two ways. I could have threw my hands up in the air and said, “I guess I am not supposed to work out or write that book!” or I could have used it to increase my desire for it that much more. Like a kid who is told he has to wait to open his gift until the next morning. You can just see the desire building. Life challenges are much like a parent telling us we have to wait to open our gifts. That is the goals we are chasing. Know when life gives you a challenge, it is not a denial, it is just a delay. A chance to strengthen your character and your commitment!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 