These days it would seem that some people relish seeing the downfall of others. Here is a way in which we can put that downfall to use in our own life. Look at what we can learn from that downfall. It can be someone doing something to ruin their reputation and their career. It can be the fall of someone’s marriage. It can be someone ruining their own health. As I have seen recently, someone passing and leaving a legacy of hate and deplorable actions. We can learn from each and every one of these.
We can learn from other’s mistakes because we cannot make them all ourselves. It is also a chance to practice a little compassion. We all make mistakes and do things we regret. If you are reading a site like this, it would be safe to assume that you are trying to make less of them. One way to do so is look at each of these downfalls of others and think of how we can avoid making the same mistakes. Did your friends marriage fall apart over a lack of intimacy or communication? Maybe it would be time to brush up on your own? Did a relative lose their job due to downsizing? It would be a wise idea to brush up on your resume and skills.Lastly, passing away without leaving a decent legacy is something I think we should all keep in mind. The hour of death is always uncertain and we should work hard each day to make a positive difference.
We should never celebrate the downfall of others, but we should learn from as many as we can. Each one can also be an opportunity to help. What can we do for the people in the situations above? The more we learn and help, the better our life will be!
I want to take a look at these individually. First, let us look at what we are really talking about here. In essence, it is one thing – focus. What is the focus of your life? Have you stopped to ask yourself this question? Here is another question. Will what you are now focusing on matter after you are no longer here? That is called legacy. What your children, your grandchildren and history will remember you for. Those are things that matter. In addition, will what you are now focused on bring you peace and joy. Noticed that I did not say “Will it make you happy?” Lots of things can make us happy but not provide us with peace and joy.
Which will lead us right into the first example. ‘not what we bought, but what we built’. A new car will make us happy. At least in the short term. It will not bring us joy. What is the difference? Happiness I believe is transactional. If this happens, then I will feel this way. Joy, on the other hand, is an emotional state that does not fall victim to circumstance. When you raised a healthy family and earned the respect of those in your life, that gives you a feeling that a flat tire on that new car cannot take away. Building something takes time, discipline and patience. It cannot be bought.
Next is ‘not what we got, but what we shared’. Think of this one. You may think getting something yourself will be a lot better than sharing it with someone else. Not so fast. When people think of you, which is more meaningful to them? What you have or what you shared with them? I have known several wealthy people in my life. Some rather intimately. Never have I stopped and thought, “I like that person because they have a big house or fancy car.” Never. I have known some people who are not financially well-off. They have tended to be some of the most generous people I know because they are so familiar with how lack feels. If you shared half of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich with me, that would stick with me more, and be more impressive, than what car you drive.
This next one is really a good one. ‘not our competence but our character’. Having the ability to do a great many things can make you valuable. That is rather obvious. Being smart, or a good mechanic, can make you friends. Even those friendships seem rather transactional. Being of good character will not only make people want to surround themselves with you, but make you remembered. People appreciate what you can do for them, but they will never forget how you make them feel. It is this very thought that we are reminded of at funerals. The most heartfelt eulogies are not for someone’s skills but for their heart and kindness. They also tend to have a lot more people in attendance.
Lastly, ‘not our success, but our meaning’. We discussed this a little in the last post, but we will look at it again here. What makes a life important? It is not collecting money or accolades. They really only matter to the individual collecting them. If the meaning of your life is to just collect as many things as possible, you are going to end up very rich and very unfulfilled. Not that there is anything wrong with financial abundance. It can be a very valuable tool in the hands of the right people. With greater wealth, you can make greater change. Abundance and wealth are different from riches. When you are an abundant person, you are excelling in most, if not all, areas of your life. Your personal peace, your relationships. What is the meaning of your life? Is it solely for your gratification? Are you here to make an impact? How about a positive difference?
Start asking yourself these questions. Decide to have an important focus in your life. Make an impact and a positive difference on the lives of those around you.
Today is a momentous day! I turn the big 5-0. People have been asking me how it feels to turn 50. To be honest, it feels surreal. Certainly, it does not feel like I am reaching a milestone. To me, especially after my brief flirtation with death, life should be lived daily. To look back and think that I have been on this planet for half of a century does seem incredible. There are so many milestones that have yet to be reached. Marriage will arrive in 2027 to my beautiful Margie. Still looking to retire to a warm climate. Heck, I am still looking to retire. Have not made the best-seller list yet but book four will be arriving soon.
The quote above is my favorite quote of all time. Every year, I learn more what it means. Sure, I understand it intellectually, but learn more about it emotionally with every experience I have. Being the change you want to see in the world means different things to different people. To me, it means changing the world in the only way we are able, that is by changing ourselves. When my journey into self-improvement began it was with a wish that the world was a more positive place. As we sit here on the 29th of July in 2025, we have a long way to go to meet that end. Do you know what is positive? My world! As mentioned, I have what is to me the most beautiful and loving woman in the world. I have great friends and family who lend me support.
The way that my world has improved is by following one of my new favorite quotes, which is the one by Marcus Aurelius. Being a good man, or woman, means treating others with dignity and respect. It means living with honesty and integrity. When you live like this, others respect you and start treating you with kindness and compassion. Life really is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It has taken me 50 years to figure much of this out, but I am going to share as much of it as I can, to as many as I can, so all may learn what it has taken me a lifetime to learn.
As birthdays seem to add up, you can’t help but think of the legacy you are leaving behind. To me the best legacy is one of good character and example. Sharing the knowledge and experiences you have gone through. Learning from the pain and the growth it has forced you to endure. By sharing this with others it also gives purpose to your pain, making it a little easier to make it through. At 50 I have made through many loses and struggles. Still have many more to make it through. Each one, I ask myself, “How can I use this to serve others?” It has help me make through being one of the first people in my state to get Covid. (Did a series of YouTube videos to help others be less afraid) Margie reminded me to use it during my heart surgery to help others who may have to go through the same in the future. I wrote an entire book about the experience called The Beat Goes On.
How about you? On your next birthday whether it has a 0, a 5 or any other number after it, will you be any closer to the legacy you want to live? I will be releasing my fourth book this year. Today I also started the third season of my podcast, Living the Dream with Neil Panosian, on YouTube. Feel free to check that out. I also have another project that will be starting this year that I think you all will love. I continue to find ways to share knowledge with and inspire others. The sand in the hourglass continues to fall and time draws short. This only increases my sense of urgency. I hope it will do the same for you. I would love to hear what legacy you hope to leave behind.You can pick up any of my books, including the one mentioned in this post, at the link below.
How little we give value to some of the most important things in our life. Our house, our car and our jewelry are notthe most valuable things we own. As someone who has the unique perspective of facing death, and briefly experiencing it, my view changed dramatically. It is something that is very difficult to convey in words. All I can do is share my story and hope you can gain something from it. When I knew that there was a possibility of death in my life with my heart surgery, you take stock of your life. You ask yourself the question, “What would life be like if I were not here?” It is much like the experience that George Bailey has in the movie It’s a Wonderful Life.
Have you ever asked yourself this question? Have you ever looked around at those closest to you and asked how their life would be affected if you were not around anymore? How would they feel? Would they know how you truly feel? You may not be facing a serious and dangerous surgery like I was, but you do not need to be. We can be the healthiest, most cautious person and our day could be right around the corner. Have you seen the way people drive these days? This is not to sound fatalistic, but to stress that time is not our ally. It is fleeting at best and we never know when it will run out. I heard someone say recently, “You are one phone call, one diagnosis away from a completely different life.” That is frighteningly true.
Enough of these sobering thoughts! Look at those around you and try to picture their life if you were gone tomorrow. What would they be like? When I began to picture this, I realized many things. First of all, memories are the greatest gifts that we give each other. There is a cliche that people may forget what you say or do, but they will never forget how you made them feel. This is so true. I shifted my focus on the feelings I was trying to share. Realizing the greatest moments of my life consisted of memories I shared with the people I love, my focus was on creating as many as possible. People leave our life for a variety of reasons all of the time. Seldom do we see it coming. We are all there one day and the next, one of us is not. It can be friends moving away, loved ones passing or a terrible misunderstanding.
One of the things I enjoy reminding people of is that although our time on this earth is finite, the impact we create does not have to be. Some of the people that inspire me the most have been dead. Some of them for many years. When I think of Margie, if I were to be gone, I would want her heart to fill with love every time a thought of me arose. When I think of my friends, I would want memories of our times together to make them smile. Wishing and wanting are great, but we need to take actions now to make that a reality. It is sharing these little things with each other that mean the most. If I had a bad day, a hug from Margie would mean a lot more than if she bought me a cup of coffee. Staying with me when I feel sick means more than any grand gesture she could make. It is the little things that create the big amount of love that will live on long after we are gone.
Stop and think about this quote. Another way to put it, if you do not know where you are going, you will never get there. Purpose makes life so much easier. The crazy thing is that most of us are doing busy ‘doing things’ to spend some time to figure out our purpose. The irony is that without knowing our purpose, our actions are not as powerful. When we know where we are trying to go, we can tell if our actions are getting us closer or further away. Without knowing where we are going, we can constantly be second-guessing ourselves as to whether our actions are the correct ones.
One way that you can do this is by thinking about your eulogy. How can thinking about what people are saying at your death help you live your life? You can read more about this in my second book, Living the Dream. We will cover it here in brief. When you think of what you want to be remembered for, you know the type of life you have to live to do so. Think about what you want people to say about you. That you worked hard? Are you calling in every other day because you partied too much? That will not get the job done. How about a good husband/wife? Are you listening to, and putting your partner first? Or are your actions more self-centered?
Here is another crazy thing about all of this. How much time do you have to write your eulogy? When will it be given? The only correct answer to that is that we do not know. It could be next year, or even next week. My hope for you is that it will not be for a very long time, but the fact is we do not know. The time to get clarity and start to live the life you want to be remembered for is now! How about you? Do you have clarity? Do you know what your ‘why’ is? What you want said about you after you are gone? Spending some time answering these questions will be more valuable than digging in a vein of pure gold!
Think of this quote for just a moment. When a baby is born, it has no material things to call its own. When we are about to pass away, any material objects we may own stay here. Wealth may help you get better health care on the way out, which is a sad commentary about our society, but you will leave with nothing. It reminds me of a great quote from Denzel Washington I will share with you in just a bit.
Knowledge of these two facts is not anything that eludes us. We may not dwell on them, but we are certainly aware of the truth of them. Ancient Egyptian pharaohs tried taking it with them, but many years later we open their tombs to find it all still there. Still, in today’s more advanced society, we spend our entire lives in pursuit of material things. To some extent there is more of an accent on things like peace and happiness, but they are treated as more of a commodity than a way of being.
There is the quote I promised earlier. “You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse. If that isn’t true. Why do we not spend more time and effort on things that will feed both our soul and our legacy? The answer is usually that we are fixed on the idea of comfort, or preoccupied with how we appear to others. It starts when we are young. You have to have the ‘cool’ brand of shoes or clothing. This is true even if another brand is more comfortable and more economical. A good many of us never outgrow this way of thinking. This highlights one of the hypocrisies of living this way. We spend our money, focus and energy on things to make our life more comfortable. Often, these things are not the best option for our life.
Here is one thought to ponder. There is nothing more soothing and comfortable than inner peace. Despite what advertisers may tell you, that is not something you can purchase. There is a song lyric I like that says, “An honest man’s pillow is his peace of mind.” Knowing that I have given my best and tried to focus on what really matters allows me to sleep at night. Not concerning myself with material status or image for others allows me to focus on more important things. How do I make my lady feel loved? How can I add more joy and positivity to the world? Am I taking actions that will leave the world a better place than I found it? These are the important things to be working on.
One great exercise to help you gain clarity on these matters is discussed at length in my second book, Living the Dream. That is the act of writing your own eulogy. To some this may sound morbid, but it will help you gain both clarity and direction for your own life. Pondering what you want people to say at your funeral, and how you want to be remembered, will show you what actions you should be taking now. It will also become abundantly clear if you are currently taking the proper actions, or if there is something you need to work on. How about you? What are you working on?
This is a quote from one of my favorite poets. It sheds light on a very important way to live your life. In my second book, a corresponding YouTube video, I encourage people to write their own eulogy. Not only as a reminder that life is fleeting, and you should live with a sense of urgency, but because it will help them better clarify what they want their legacy to be.
A eulogy is what people will say about you after you die. Sadly, if it is a good speech, you will not be there to hear it. You do have a great amount of control of what it will contain. What do you want yours to say? Do you want them to say you were a leader of your family? Are you currently acting like one? How about a loving partner? A hard worker?
One you decide how you want to be remembered, you can start working towards earning that eulogy. Meaning you are living in such a way that people will say kind things about you long after you are gone. Put another way, you are planting a tree you will never sit under.
One of the first reasons I was brought into the world of self-improvement was the man above, Tony Robbins. Like millions of others, I saw his infomercial at 3a.m. and ordered the product “Get the Edge”. Those CDs transformed my life. Not only for the content and strategies contained within, but because they influenced and motivated me to share what I learned with others. Not only did I improve my life, but by becoming a blog writer, author and life coach, I was able to positively influence the lives of others. I am still a big fan of Tony Robbins. I refer back to some of his work as a good reminder of some of the core principles that began my journey.
Then there was my fitness journey. Still a very active, and often up and down, journey. One of the main influences to get me moving was the man above, Greg Plitt. Not so much for a desire to have a physique like him. Although, that would be a bonus. His knowledge of fitness, both the physical and mental aspects, were a great boost. In addition, he has great motivational videos that both reinforced what Mr. Robbins said, as well as introducing some new and powerful concepts. The more videos I watched, the more I learned. Then, I learned a very interesting fact – he was dead. He met an unfortunate demise while filming a video. I had been learning for months from a man that I did not even realize was no longer with us. I still watch some of his videos to get me into the gym and to educate on several fitness and nutrition aspects.
That leads us to this man. Probably, one of, if not thee, greatest influence on my writing and personal development career. His name is Earl Nightingale. His message, The Strangest Secret, is something I have listened to thousands of times. His strategies for success are straight forward and filled with common sense. He was one of only 100 survivors on the U.S.S. Arizona when it was bombed in Pearl Harbor. He owned his own insurance company. He had his own radio program. He earned the first gold record for a spoken word recording and went on to launch the self-improvement recording industry. The company named after him, Nightingale-Conant, has many great products to help you improve your life. He also reminds me a bit of my grandfather, but I digress. He passed away in 1989.
The point of this message today is that every day I learn from people who have passed away. The only reason that I can do so is that they shared their story before they did. That is why it is so vital to share the talent you have inside of you. Your greatest moment may come long after you are gone. Our lives on this planet are finite, our influence on it does not have to be. Read that last line again slowly. How many authors, artists, musicians and others were only truly appreciated after they were gone? There is a day that we are born, and a day that we will die. Most self-improvement is focused on the moments between. That is for good reason. I put forth that we should also think about the influence we will have after we are gone. What you leave behind could save the life of someone who is not born yet. What you leave behind could change the world for your great-grandchildren. Do not let your influence die with you. Share your story today. Whether that is a video on YouTube, writing a book, or sharing a blog. That could be recording your music, sharing your artwork or a million other ways to express yourself. Do not keep it inside you. Tomorrow is never promised.
Going back generations, my family has been farmers. I, however, have never been a farmer. Considering my luck with house plants, this is probably a good thing. Last Saturday I had dinner with a group of friends. While in the midst of a conversation with my friends father a revelation hit me, I might be a farmer after all. If not a farmer, at least a harvester. I have the great fortune to harvest a very important crop that others before me have planted. Best part? I do not even have to wear overalls and work in the field from dawn until dusk.
What seeds are you planting?
When you plant a crop the time between planting and harvest varies on many factors. Each plant has its own length to maturity. This is also influenced by the environment, the soil condition and many other factors. This holds true for the crop that I am harvesting. Is it wheat? Corn? Bananas? No. The crop I am talking about harvesting is thoughts and life lessons. Does this sound familiar to you? Someone shares some knowledge with you and you dismiss it. Years later as you learn and develop, you find yourself realizing something that was told to you years prior.
Vivid in my mind are lessons I heard either directly from, or by listening to conversations between my great uncle and grandfather. As a young man at the time I recall thinking things such as, “These old men don’t have a clue about how the world is now.” or just disagreeing with opinions and thoughts that to me seemed terribly out of date. My grandfather has been gone over 20 years now, my great uncle even more so. Still, to this very day, and even the night of the conversation with my friends father, I am still learning from both of them. There are bits of knowledge that I could only come to understand with years of experience and going through some things on my own. If I would’ve listened a little more closely, I would have probably had to go through a lot less in my life. These ‘seeds’ that were planted over 20 years ago are finally being harvested. It is a shame they are not here to see the benefit of the wisdom they passed along. I guess the soil they put them in, or my mind at the time, just wasn’t ready to let them grow.
This lead me to two very important epiphanies. First, never dismiss knowledge that is shared with you. It may not make sense to you now, but years later you may wish you had listened closer. This seems to be especially true if the knowledge comes from a party that is older than you. They have seen more and been through things you may not have even thought of yet. Second, never underestimate the power of your own seeds. There are people I do my best to offer little seeds of wisdom that I have gathered through my life and they seem to fall on barren soil. It can be frustrating to see people making some of the same mistakes you have made in life, especially people you care about, and wanting to help them avoid the same painful consequences you did. What I have learned through the experience I described to you in this blog, is to still plant away. You may be dead and gone by the time your seeds are harvested, but what a great legacy to leave. Plant seeds of knowledge, kindness and love wherever you go. They may grow and be harvested all at different times and you may not even be around to see it, but grow they will.
Here is the latest issue of See Beyond magazine. It is a informative and fabulous issue filled with great articles. March is dedicated to Women’s Month, but there is something for every gender inside. My article, The Birth of Belief can be found on page 34. It is a great look at how some of my philosophies of life developed, but more importantly, it is a great look at our legacy and what we can do to make sure we leave behind a legacy worthy of us. I encourage you to take a look and let me know what you feel about it.
After you have finished reading the article, I invite you to scroll to the back of the magazine and read the tremendous review of my book that can be found there. All together See Beyond is a magazine that offers inspiration and many different perspectives. I am honored to be a part of it, and wish to thank Aura, the Publisher, Stefanie, the editor-in-chief as well as Rachel, one of the amazing artists in See Beyond. Working with these creative and talented ladies is something I am grateful for not only during Women’s Month, but each time our paths cross. Click the link below to be taken to the magazine and appreciate all that it has to offer. I look forward to hearing how this amazing publication has touched your heart!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 