ONE CHANGE THAT COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING

It is always entertaining to discover the ways that some of the most life-changing knowledge comes to our attention. What is even more amusing is that often these moments stem from what can initially be defined as a negative experience. Another example of modern day alchemy. We all have the power to turn a negative experience into a positive one. Before I lose everyone completely, allow me to share with you the exact experience I had and the realization that came out of it.

The other afternoon I was riding my bike in the park. It was a rather hot day and I was taking my time enjoying nature in all its glory. Ahead of me was a young man around the age of 6 I would guess. As we rounded the curve in the trail there were a few birds sitting on the grass. As the young man approached them he yelled “Get out of here stupid birds! You are ugly! Goodbye stupid ugly birds!” It appeared the young man had really no malice in his words or towards the birds, but hearing that made my heart sink. My first reaction was to feel bad for the birds. I know this may sound silly as birds to not speak the same language as humans, but sending out that negative energy towards another living thing cannot be constructive. A little while later down the path, when asked his opinion of a certain tree, the child replied using the same descriptions of ‘stupid’ and ‘ugly’. Again, it is my opinion this was more a product of environment and not any malice as the young man seemed rather happy at the time.

As I found my own spirit a little brought down by the young man’s words it got me thinking. In the past I would have felt a little foolish, or even weak for allowing another person’s words and actions affect me. Now I realize it is just part of my gift as an empath and spiritual person. The event stuck in the back of my mind as I went about my day.

3 a.m. found me awake and reading on the couch when the experience popped back into the front of my mind. I began thinking how someone should tell the young man about the law of energy. It may sound silly to do so to someone at such a young age, but if we wait often habits and language patterns can become set and harder to change. What is the big deal about what words we use? Imagine several random people coming up to you and informing you that you are ugly or stupid. Can you imagine how you would feel after that? Even if you give their opinion much weight, it still would not be a good feeling. Now, imagine several random people coming up with wonder in their eyes and informing you how beautiful or inspiring you are. Can you think about how that would feel?

Words do not only affect others. When we, like the young man in the story, go around calling everything stupid or ugly. When we look for things to criticize about people, places and things. Our world becomes filled with things that we see as ugly, stupid or some other negative description. Can you imagine how it would feel to be surrounded by ugliness and stupidity every day, all day? By speaking in such a manner and seeking out the faults in everything we chose to do that to ourselves.

With my feelings working their way downward as I was thinking about all of the people who do this to themselves as well as how often I still find myself doing the same thing, a great realization came to me. If we can make our lives a living hell by the words we chose to use, could we use that same power to transform our lives to one of beauty and joy? Of course we can. There is always two sides to every story.

Immediately my mind began to work on how this could be put into use. The answer was simple. To create joy and positivity all we have to do is the opposite of what brought us the pain and negativity. In this case, what if that young man was taught to find the beauty and magnificence in everything he saw? What if we all learned how to see everything as a miracle. It was Albert Einstein who said, “There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as thought everything is a miracle.” If one of the smartest minds on the planet lived by this concept, I felt it might be wise for me to as well.

Today I am going to begin to look at the beauty in everything I see. In addition, I am going to use words like ‘wonderful’ and ‘beautiful’. If we find the beauty in everything we see, no matter how hard it may be, our lives will be filled with a great amount of beauty and joy. Can you imagine how different it would feel if we were surrounded daily by everything we thought was beautiful? Our lives, in turn, would become beautiful.

One great key to finding the beauty in even the toughest situations was supplied to me by a quote from Mr. Rogers. This quote was sent to me by a neighbor who knew I was a fan of the children’s television show host. The quote was “Frankly there isn’t anyone you couldn’t learn to love once you’ve heard their story.” Perhaps if the young man in our story know that birds he was calling stupid could navigate 2000 miles without the use of a map he may not think they were so stupid after all. The greatest irony of all. After all the knowledge that came out of the afternoon in the park, the young  man’s words became a thing of beauty for all they taught me and all I could share with you.

THE LANGUAGE OF CHAMPIONS

This is a picture of my lady, Margie, and myself. It was taken at the “Best of Milwaukee” awards put on by Shepherd Express magazine. Both of us were runner up in our categories. Even the bar we DJ at, actually all three, were nominated as well. How did we manage to accomplish all of that? By speaking the language of champions.

What on earth is that, other than some fancy catch phrase? It is a set of standards that people who excel in any field adhere to. Have you noticed that giants in different industries can often be seen together sharing ideas? Have you ever wondered what on earth can Bill Gates and Aaron Rogers talk about other than ways to spend large amounts of cash? I can’t imagine Bill gates in shoulder pads any more than I can imagine Aaron Rogers running a Microsoft board meeting.

What they do have in common is the way they approach their craft. The same way the couple above, an author and motivational speaker with a cake and floral designer, can discuss strategy. Margie has a hard time reading more than a page without falling asleep, and if I tried to design a cake it would have to be explained away as an example of what not to do. That being the case, I believe given time and desire both of us could learn to excel in each other’s field. Not to the level we are both at, because I believe there is something to be said about natural talent, but I do believe we could be successful. This is not to sound narcissistic, for anyone can learn to be this way too. We all know famous people who seem to go from the movies, to music, or perhaps the other way around. These people are not just lucky or extra talented, but know the secret language of champions. It is the language I am going to introduce you to.

This is the first secret. In the last 3 months I have been not only nominated for the award mentioned above, but have been featured in 2 publications, and the guest on a national podcast. My website now has followers in over 100 different countries. All of these milestones have been reached in the last 3 months.

That sounds like a lot of success for a short period of time. What is not mentioned is the 6 years I have been writing blog posts, the 5 years since my book was published, and the seminars I gave where at one point only 10 people showed up. Was I tempted to give up? Sure, several times, but I didn’t. I kept writing, I kept speaking and promoting. Later this year I will be flying across the country to speak to a industry convention. (More on that in a future post)

I know I will be successful because of all I went through. Champions look like champions on game day because of all the hours they put in at practice. My lady’s cakes look like masterpieces because of all the years she spent developing her craft. I swear she can do things with a spatula I never imagined.

Do things ever go wrong for her on occasion? Absolutely. I recall one day coming home from my day job while she was decorating a cake and asking her how it was coming along. She looked up from the cake, spun around and with a look that spoke of a mix of insanity and frustration began to explain to me what happens when it is too hot and humid and frosting melts as it is on the cake. Being that I am a fan of hot humid weather, I felt it would be best if I pondered this cake lesson…while working out at the gym.

What makes her a champion is she learned from that experience and has updated her freezer, checked the mix of the frosting and some other cake magic involving unicorns, fairy dust and other things I will never understand. That is what makes a champion, the work. Jim Rohn once said “You cannot pay anyone to do your pushups for you.” Champions know that and enjoy the pushups. They learn and understand everything they go through can either make them bitter or better and they choose the latter way more often than the former.

Enjoy the process. Learn and use what you are going through right now. In other words, work harder in the preseason and when the championship comes, you will be ready.

A BAD WORD

When we are young we are told when we say a bad word. Depending on language and culture what these bad words are can be different. As adults, however, it seems we are left to our discretion as to what words are acceptable. Sure there are social rules, but they are sadly too often ignored.

I firmly believe there is a list of words that as an adult should be taken out of our vocabulary. Especially if as an adult you want to be a successful and driven adult. One of the first words I would recommend reducing, if not eliminating, is try. When I hear a person say they are going to try something it sounds weak to me. I am reminded of the quote from Yoda above.

In writing my next book I strove to answer the question everyone seems to ask me. That question is, “How did you become the person you are today?” There are a million different tools and tricks I use daily, but meditating on that question today I came to realize they all point back to one guiding principle. The thing that changed my life more than anything else can be, and has been, called many different things. In his best-selling book Think and Grow Rich Napoleon Hill calls it ‘definiteness of purpose’. In my own book I refer to it as your declaration, or life mission. When someone declares something they are not trying it. They are saying they will keep working at it until it is done.

Prove to yourself the truth of what we are talking about here. Find a place where you can be alone, or if you are confident feel free to try this right where you are. Pick a goal you would like to accomplish. For example, I am working on becoming a best-selling author. Now, relax, clear your throat and say you will try your goal. In my case, “I will try to be a best-selling author.” How does that feel to you? To me it feels like I will put in some effort, but the result is up to outside circumstances, something beyond my control. Now, stand up, maybe shake things out a bit, clear your throat again and replace the word ‘try’ with the word ‘determined’. It should sound something like this “I am determined to become a best-selling author.” Spoken with a sense of conviction and backed by a strong ‘why’ you can’t be beat. Judge for yourself. How did the second statement sound? To me it sounds like I will keep going until I find a way that works.

As adults we do not value both the power of words as well as the influence of our internal conversation has over our lives. Begin now to change your outer conversation and try to reduce and eventually eliminate words like ‘try’ and ‘impossible’. These words not only do not motivate us, but give us an out, or more directly, an excuse for not accomplishing our goals.

Feel free to share other words you feel should be eliminated from the vocabulary of successful people.

THE WORD OF THE DAY IS

image

Here is a word I have been accused of using way to often. In reflection there is a lot of truth to that. Even this site is called secret2anamazinglife For a while I began trying to use different words. ‘wonderful’ ‘great’ were some I chose. None really fit the bill, and before long the word ‘amazing’ was coming out of my mouth quite often.

I began to think about why this is. I know it began when trying to think of a name for this site. Amazing seemed to have the power I was looking for. So why do I use it so much? that is a good question. I realized that I view a good amount of things in my life as amazing. I also know that the words you use most often can have a great impact on your life. This is more true than many people believe. Here is a quick test. think of these 3 phrases, perhaps even say them out loud if you happen to be alone or don’t care if people think you are sane or not. First, say “I did something stupid” We have all done something stupid. Said something without thinking. Put our sweater on backwards(I did this just the other day). Ok, now the second one. Say to yourself, or out loud “I am being stupid” There have all been moments I’m sure we felt like this. You are in a bad mood and just acting difficult. Perhaps you have had too much rum and are doing several things you may regret in the morning? Doesn’t it feel different than doing something stupid? A little more intense? Ok, now the last one. Say to yourself or out loud “I am stupid”. How do you feel? hurt? sad? See there is a difference between “Doing something stupid” “feeling stupid” and “Being stupid”.

So how can we use this to improve our lives? Think of times you use the same word. A greeting perhaps? Then think of how you want your life to be. When people ask how I am doing, my answer is almost never ‘fine’ or ‘good’ it is usually ‘living the dream’ ‘legendary’ or yes, ‘amazing’. Words have emotional power. Find some you would like to include in your life and try using them.

If you enjoyed what you read here or find it to be amazing, please share and tell your friends about http://www.secret2anamazinglife.com

TALKING TO YOURSELF

image

Take a look at the above phrases. Which do you use most often? Try starting at the 0% “i won’t” and say each phrase out loud. Notice how each makes you feel. Does one make you feel like you have no control while another makes you feel strong? Notice if your posture changes as the phrases do.
Now, take this exercise one step further. Say them out loud again, but this time pick a goal you are aspiring to achieve and put it after each phrase. Note how you feel about your goal after each one.
This should show you the power of your inner dialog.
So how can we put this to use for us?  Pick the phrase that makes you feel the most positive and powerful about your goal. Write it down. Now carry it with you and repeat it to yourself as often as you can. Try to do at least some of them out loud. Say it with conviction. It is very difficult to account for the often negative inner conversation we may have, but this goes a long way to counteract it. Try this for a week and notice how much better and in control you feel