A few posts ago I mentioned a little act of kindness i found hidden in the Wisconsin State Fair. Here we are again! This act was not hidden. Quite the contrary. It was smack in the center. An activity of a local bank.
When I saw the sign in the first photo, I had to see what it was all about. I was told to take a puzzle piece and write something kind I had done or was done to me. This is a great thing to make people stop and think about in the middle of the festival. Then, you take your puzzle piece and put it on its proper place on a bigger sign. When it was complete it looked like the second picture
Lastly, this whole thing was run by volunteers that were super friendly and helpful. They smiled and shared kindness of their own. To me, this was the perfect activity to conduct where a large group of people was gathered. Activities like this are what can help to bring people together.
Today starts our state fair. The yearly 11-day celebration of food, fun and agriculture. 30 years ago I sat in the center of this event I enjoy so much and had a revelation. If I enjoyed going to the state fair so much, why not go all 11 days? With the exception of your waistline, there is no harm to be found in doing so.
That was 1996. Fast forward 30 years and I’m still going everyday. It is still something that brings me great joy. When that ceases to be the case, I will stop. There are always different things to do depending on the people you go with. Some like to shop, some like animals, some food, some drinks. My mother and I always do the walks they have to explore art and agriculture.
In life, if there is something that brings you joy, go all out with it. Squeeze every last drop of joy out of it. As long as it does not harm you or others, why not enjoy as much of it as you can. Life is too short not to create memories and have fun. See you at the fair!
Where I live, it is the first day of summer today. For those of you reading this in the southern hemisphere, it is very well the opposite. It is my favorite day of the year for so many reasons. I love the sun. In fact, during my autopsy, I will not be surprised if they find a solar battery. It is also technically, the longest day of the year. That is the day when the sun rises the earliest and sets the latest. It is usually fairly warm, which I also enjoy.
It is not an official holiday and there are no traditions for celebration as there are with other days. Being that is my favorite day, I have developed a few of my own. I like to wear a shirt that I made years ago on the first day of summer. It is a good memory. I also enjoy going out for an iced coffee. Spending some time in nature is also a good way to celebrate the first day of summer. You get some fresh air in your lungs and some sun on your skin. Both can help you feel good.
One of the simple pleasures in life is to choose ways in which to celebrate anything. It could be your birthday, Thanksgiving or even the first day of summer. Having fun traditions in place that you enjoy will make your life so much more enjoyable. I would love to hear some of the fun ways in which you like to celebrate. What traditions bring you joy?
One simple change we can make to improve our life greatly is to switch from waiting for miracles to noticing them! This may sound a little crazy to some of you, but it really isn’t. I have experienced a brief flirtation with death after my heart surgery. Coming out of that, it really changes your perspective. Knowing your life can be gone in a fleeting second really puts things in perspective. Everything, and I mean everything, is a gift. That is why I was drawn to the quote above. It mentions the ability to love as being a miracle. We all know that to be true. Who doesn’t feel the miracle of love? This could be love for a spouse, a child, a parent, or even just a good friend. Whether you are giving or receiving love, it feels like a miracle.
Love, joy and all the other amazingly positive emotions are easy to feel like a miracle. What about when life goes in the opposite direction? How can that feel like a miracle? It is is. Look at what else this quote mentions. The ability to learn, heal and begin again. Those are all miracles. Learning can be one of the most humbling and challenging circumstances. Who likes to look foolish? That is usually the first step in learning. When the process concludes, you come out the other end as an entirely different person. One that is stronger, smarter and more resilient. That is a miracle. Healing is really a miracle. How many times in life have we felt like there was no way in which we would be able to continue? It could have been a terrible break up or divorce. Perhaps the pain of losing someone we love? It can leave us in such a dark place there can seem no way out. With the help of those who care about us, maybe a little professional help and of course time, we come out the other side. We may never be the same, but we now have an experience in life in which we can draw strength from. Healing is often an ongoing process, but each step is a miracle.
Even when our life seems like a total loss, miracles can still be found in the ability to start again. Losing a job? Filing bankruptcy? Tornado or hurricane destroy all you have worked for? The game is not over. You can start again. Often with more knowledge to create a better future. This is a miracle itself. The fact that the game does not have to end when we are faced with a great challenge and seeming end, that is a miracle. As you can see, from the positive to the negative, miracles are all around us. Switch your thinking from waiting for a miracle to noticing them and your life will become filled with miracles.
How many times do we plan a great moment to create memories? It could be a vacation to a wonderful destination. Perhaps a family reunion or high school reunion? These are great to capture what could be once in a lifetime moments. When you are facing what could be your last moments, these are not what you will miss the most.
As many of you know, I had a moment facing serious open-heart surgery. When pondering the fact that my days may be numbered, what was I thinking about?It was not the grand moments carefully planned and coordinated. It was not one last vacation or getaway.
What really captured my heart was the little things. Those moments that we all take for granted. Coffee on the porch with a loved one. Get together with a friend for lunch or a coffee. A little walk in the woods and conversation. These are the moments that make life so sweet.
By all means continue to plan and create grand memories. As you do so, do not forget to relish all of those seemingly insignificant moments. When you look back on your life, those will be the moments you wish you had more of.
Wow! This is a good one. How many of us fall into this trap? At one time or another, probably every single one of us. It gives birth to all sorts of cliches such as ” The grass is always greener on the other side.” We continually postpone our happiness. Thinking it will find us over the next horizon. The hard truth is quite the opposite. The grass is really greener where you water it. The next horizon may contain new joys, but it will also contain new challenges. That is why ‘Destination Addiction’ is so dangerous. It can be facilitated by advertising convincing us that we need the next great thing. Social Media, where we compare our challenges to other’s highlights further pushes us in the wrong direction. Thinking our life does not compare to the life of those around us.
How do we overcome Destination Addiction? By changing the question we ask ourselves daily. We spend as much as 90% of our time on the journey and only 10% at the destination. If you had the choice, which would you rather work on making happier? What is the question we should be asking ourselves to make this switch? “What can I do to find, or create happiness right now?” In every situation there is the possibility to find some sort of happiness or the opportunity to create happiness. While it is true that certain circumstances are far easier to do this in, the truth is that our intention and mindset can make every situation a possibility for joy. Even if it may be difficult to find joy for ourselves, we can have the opportunity to create for others. Guess what that would do? Seeing that you have brought joy to another makes you feel….happy! Therefore, even in the struggle, even in the challenge, there exists the possibility of joy.
Have you ever thought of life in this way? Have you ever asked yourself the question we stated above, “What can I do to find, or create happiness right now?” Personally, I can confess that I have not done it enough. That should make us happy. It means we are leaving a lot of happiness unexperienced! There is so much more joy we could discover, and more important, experience, in our life! How exciting is that thought. Try asking yourself this question at least once a day. Whether you do it when things are going well, or if you try it when things are a little tough, you will add more joy to your life. That should be reason enough to do it!
How many self-improvement books do you imagine there are in the world? I have written 3 by myself. A quick Google search says that over 11,000 self-improvement books are published each year. Let us narrow it down a little. How many books do you think there are about happiness? Once again asking good old Dr. Google, they estimate thousands. I think that would be a very conservative estimate.
The point of all of these questions is that there is a ton of information out there on both improving your life and the level of happiness in it. It can feel impossible knowing where to start. (My suggestion would be the great book, A Happy Life for Busy People) The ironic thing is that we are making this far more complicated than it need be. Yes, there are amazing tools and strategies we can use. Many of which are both on this website and in my 3 books. You do not have to google sites like secret2anamazinglife.com or even wonderful authors like Neil Panosian to discover a beautiful life. Your life can improve dramatically using the 11 items listed above.
None of these items cost a thing. They can all be done whether you live in a studio apartment or a mansion. Each one of us has a surprising amount of tools at our disposal to improve our life. How about getting and giving a hug? Both parties end up better for it and it costs nothing. Things like gratitude, meditation and watching a sunset or sunrise. I think we could all agree that these would make our live a bit more amazing. If you were to do all 11 items on the list above every week, your life would improve by leaps and bounds. What is stopping you? Time? Most of these take no time at all. How long does it take you to feel grateful? How about to do a little deep breathing? There is nothing standing in our way from taking these simple, no-cost actions to improve our life.
Print off the list or save the picture on your phone. Try to work all 11 in through the course of a week. See how much more joy you find. Can you imagine doing all 11 in a single day? Why not? it would take you all of 5 to 10 minutes and serve you a lot better than scrolling mindlessly on your phone. It would still even leave you plenty of time to do that as well should you choose. A beautiful life does not need to cost a lot or be very complicated. It only need a few simple items like those above. What other items can you think of that will not cost a thing and bring you a more beautiful life? Let us know.
Let us be clear from the start. This is not a recommendation to be completely fiscally irresponsible. What it is advocating is making sure to budget some money on creating joy in your life. If we wait to have fun until all of the bills are completely paid and everything is settled in our life, we might be waiting forever.
In addition to waiting forever, think about how life will feel. It will feel as though joy is constantly being delayed for responsibility. Chasing instant gratification with no thought for responsibility is a recipe for disaster. So is denying ourself any joy. It can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment. Not to mention life rather sucks while we are going through it. Who wants that? As you read this, I will be on my way home from a week-long escape to the tropics. Was it expensive? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely. My lady and I work so hard, we need and deserve time to reconnect. Do I still owe money on my car and need to save more for our wedding? Yes, but by taking this time away it will keep me refreshed and able to push on towards those two goals. Plus, it will keep the love strong between Margie and I so the wedding will still happen!
In your own life, be responsible with your money. This will include setting some aside for fun while you look to take care of all of the bills you have. Memories are a bill of sorts. What is a life worth that has no joyous memories to look back on? One that was solely focused on getting ahead and material acquisition? Not much at all. A life filled with lots of love, joy and happiness with a few bills still left to pay is worth a great deal more!
There are many things in this world that confuse me. One of the greatest is that people are offended and irritated by other people’s happiness. We should celebrate one another’s happiness. There are so many reasons for this, that I cannot imagine why you would not want to do it. Think of going to a restaurant where a stranger is having a birthday party. I have actually heard people complain that singing happy birthday disturbed their dinner. Here is an idea, why not sing along? One, singing along would lift your spirit. Two, can you imagine how it would feel for you to have a total stranger singing Happy Birthday to you? It would just add a little more joy to an already happy occasion. Why rain on someone else’s parade?
Simply, when you celebrate the joys of others, you have more joy to celebrate in life. When you are envious or irritated by the joy of others, you have more in your life to be troubled by. We cannot control what happens in our life, much less the life of others. What we have complete control over is how we react to what happens. If we choose to be irritated, our life will be less enjoyable. If we celebrate every joy we see as if it was our own and feel grateful for all the joy in the world, our life will be filled with more joy and gratitude. Which life would you rather live?
The picture mentions one other important point. That is that this irritation can result from someone who is not quite healed. When you break up it is hard to see other couples loving. It can be as though through their love they are pouring salt on your wounded heart. That is only one way of looking at it. It could also be that they are giving you a picture of hope. That despite your unfortunate experience in the world of love, there is hope that things could work out well in the future and here is an example of how. The same can be true with people who have abundance when we are lacking. Someone with lots of friends when we are lonely. Someone healthy when we are not. It may be that their joy is giving us hope and a reminder that things will not always be tough. When you share in their joy, it often helps you make it through your tough times. When you resent other people’s happiness it not only makes you look like a jerk, but darkens your life even further.
Celebrate the joy in other people’s lives. If someone is irritated by your joy, give them some and do not let it dampen your celebration of life. Those folks are often the ones who need a little love and compassion the most.
Yesterday morning I stopped at a local Starbucks for a cup of coffee. The gent ahead of me, a middle-aged man, spun at looked at me and yelled, “I thought you were buying coffee!” Never met the man before, but I did admire his pluck. He seemed like a rather jovial gent and I had a few extra bucks, so I bought the man’s coffee.
He went on to introduce himself as “Jeff from Saint Louis”. Informed me his construction company was building a bank across the street. He told me when he travels he likes to get gift cards for random people such as servers and flight attendants. We both mused how good it feels to treat a stranger to a little hospitality. He shook my hand and excused himself back to his construction site.
I approached the counter and after a few minutes of banter with the manager, placed myorder. As I presented my app for payment she grinned. “Jeff paid for your coffee.” She said. What do you know? That sneaky Jeff. Ran off before I was able to thank him.
Here is the fun behind this story. Jeff and I will probably never meet again in life. In a matter of a few weeks we might not even remember we met. However, both of us gave each other an unexpected smile. A simple act of reciprocal kindness that made each other’s day. It is how the world, and the people in it, should operate
Next time you have the chance, pay for someone’s coffee, or muffin or whatever. It might cost you a few bucks, but the unexpected look of joy on a stranger’s face will bring joy to both of your hearts!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 