Tag: inspiration

I AM SO SHOCKED!

As I write this post, the amount of gratitude I am experiencing cannot be put into words. The purpose behind this site is to help leave the world a better place than I found it. To that extent, every new tool and strategy I learn is shared and discussed with anyone who wishes to join our community. In addition, when I come across something that would uplift, encourage and empower others, I share that as well. Working together we can uplift each other and the world at large.

As you can see by this chart, we have had the most successful year since inception. Over 27 thousand different people have viewed this site over 34 thousand times. To me, that is not an accomplishment to boast about, but one to be grateful for. The driving force to continue to make this website, and all of the material I put out, a success is to help more and more people. We all need a little uplifting and someone to lean on now and then. Many of us do not have that person in our life, or we may not feel like we do. This site is designed to be that person in as many lives as possible. It is my sincerest desire that the sense of community we foster here will be taken into the communities of those who read it.

Speaking of communities that have viewed this site, you can see the countries that have shaded in green. I am overjoyed that so many of our friends across the country of China, the continents of Africa and South America have checked us out this year. Not sure how to reach our friends in Greenland, but we will keep trying. My point is that we were in over 200 countries this year and on 6 of the 7 continents. I hope that in each one of these the sense of community moves from online to in person. That is an aspect we will work on in 2026. The lessons we share here are done so freely and openly. It is all about each one of us working to become the best version of ourselves in whatever journey we are traveling.

The more I speak with people across the globe, the more one this becomes clear. No matter what separates us geographically, politically, or culturally, we all share many of the same ambitions and many of the same challenges to those ambitions. We also have the same desire for community and connection. In 2026, we are going to work on strengthening that connection to all of our friends around the globe. One great way to do this is to hear from all of you in the comments. I do my best to respond to each and every comment left here or on our corresponding Facebook page. We are so excited that we got to serve so many of you this year and look forward to being of even more service next year! Thank you again from the bottom of our hearts here at Secret2anamazinglife.com.

YOU NEVER KNOW YOUR BALANCE, SPEND WISELY

After reading the quote in this picture, there is not much to say, but yet you could spend forever pondering it. We will spend a little less than forever but spend a little time pondering the virtues of spending our time wisely. Looking at time as a currency certainly gives it more value in many people’s eyes, which is ironic in itself. Can you imagine spending money never knowing how much you had? You could wind up with a bunch of worthless junk and not enough money to afford food and shelter. Sadly, this is how many people do live.

I often look at life like an hourglass. The sand only goes one way and it is always flowing. That is like our life. Our years are flowing from the top to the bottom. We can do things to slow the flow, but there is no putting the sand back. In addition, it is as if the top of the hourglass is covered. We never know how much sand we have left. Try looking at an hourglass and pondering this. Even a little timer that comes in a boardgame will do. Watch the sand flowing and realize the time you have left is doing the same. This should not make you sad, but create a sense of urgency.

We only have so many more tomorrows. How many, none of us know. That is why wasting our time on senseless gossip or the destruction of others is not only a vile use of our time, but a waste. There is a cliche that says, “Every minute you spend in anger is 60 seconds of happiness you lose.” That might not be it exactly, but you get the idea. We must use our time in ways that not only serve our peace and development, but that of those we care about. Doing things to help the world live in peace and harmony is a good use of anyone’s time. How about you? How are you spending your time?

THE GREATEST GIFT

Today is the birthday of this special lady. One of those things that I run up against every year is what do you get a lady that brings so much into your life? This is further complicated by the fact that I love surprising her with little gifts as often as I can. When I see something that I think will bring a smile to her face, I pick it up. Saving it for a holiday or special occasion is not exactly something I am good at.

In my second book, Living the Dream, I advocate active listening as a way to learn what would make a heart-warming gift for that special someone. It has served me so well in the past and I hope this year as well. Also working on ways to communicate not just with your partners ears, but with their heart and soul. This makes someone feel valued and special.

After thinking of the perfect gift, I realize these are the things that make up a perfect gift. Listening, speaking to someone’s heart and spending quality time with them is a gift that never goes out of style. Happy birthday my love! I hope your day is as special as you are to me!

CHRISTMAS MOMENTS

I cannot claim the idea for today’s post as my own. It was my mother who gave me the concept. Where she got it, I cannot recall. It involves having ‘Christmas Moments’. What are Christmas moments? They are the gift of the special moments of joy that you either give or receive from others or the world around you. The secret to these moments is being present and intentional to appreciate and notice them. Being present really helps when you are receiving them and being intentional helps when you are looking to give them. Both of these bring joy to both your life and others.

The photo above is from a recent Christmas party held at the place that Margie and I DJ at on Sunday. Gathered around are some of the wonderful people who visit us on a weekly basis. It was nice to be able to sit and chat without having to work and yell over each other. This is an example of a ‘Christmas Moment’. Another example I have is the other day after a particularly tough day involving car repair, shoveling and working, I came in to discover that my lovely lady had a nice hot ginger beverage waiting for me on the kitchen table. It both warmed my body and my soul. In the time it took to drink it, I treasured this Christmas Moment.

You might be thinking, “Those Christmas moments sure sound wonderful. I wish I could give them to others!” You are in luck! Giving Christmas moments is just as fun and even easier than receiving them. During the crazy holiday season, there are endless possibilities to give gifts of kindness and encouragement. It just might make the difference between breaking and being able to go on to a stressed out retail employee. Even fellow shoppers are extra stressed this time of year. Many lines are longer, items may be out of stock, not to mention weather is a constant stressful factor.

How do you give a ‘Christmas Moment’ to someone else in these stressful times? Thanking a hard-working employee and letting them know you appreciate them would be priceless. Smiling and letting a person push their cart past you can lessen the stress during their shopping experience. There are Christmas moments that nobody else may notice but you. Returning your cart to the store so the employee will have one less cart to gather up in the inclement weather. You may not think one cart would not make a difference, but imagine if everyone who thought that brought their carts back? You may not get a pat on the back for this, but you will know in your heart that you did something that made someone’s life a little easier. That is a Christmas moment.

I am sure you can think of a million other ideas for Christmas moments that you can give or receive. I would love if you would share yours, but even more if we will just go out and enjoy giving and receiving them.

PREMEDITATIO MALORUM – YOUR KEY TO SUCCESS 🙌

What is this Latin phrase that we mentioned in the title? It literally translates to “the premeditation of evils”. What that consists of is mentally rehearsing troubles that we may encounter so that when they do arrive, we are better prepared to traverse them. Taking it a step further, it is often experiencing voluntary discomfort in order to prepare for life’s unexpected discomfort. This may all seem a little over-the-top for those not well-versed in the philosophy of stoicism, but it makes sense in a practical sense as well. Let us explore both.

Mentally preparing for life’s hardships takes some emotional investment. What it pays off in is an increase in gratitude and appreciation for the life you already have. Let us demonstrate by example. When you first wake up, try to imagine life without someone you really care about. Think about the inability to speak with them. The lose of companionship. Missing their smile. Really do your best to feel how you would feel if they were really gone. When you realize how much you would miss them and how much your life will change, you will be more likely to appreciate and see the value of that person and far less likely to take them for granted. This is not only true with people. It can be the same for a job, a pet or even a car as we will see in the next example.

This is a picture of the front of my 2024 Rav4, after meeting with a snow bank. On my way to work I hit some black ice and the car swerved into a snow bank cracking the bumper. This did not, in any way, improve my opinion of winter. I also have a 2005 Ford Escape which I use to transport our DJ equipment on Sunday. Ironically, it handles far better in the snow. As I dropped this car off to be worked on, I was grateful to have the other available to take with me to work and back.

There are some major differences. My 2024 has automatic start, heated seats and even a heated steering wheel. When, at 4am, I leave for work it helps me not mind the cold as much. In fact, I was getting used to how it felt only having to brave the cold a few feet from house to car. I was starting to take it for granted. Well, now I am driving my older car. No automatic start or heated anything. I leave the warm house with the hot lady and get into a cold car. The car happens to stay that way for the first several minutes of my journey. Just to make sure the point was driven home, mother nature decided to give us temperatures of – 5°F. When my new car returns, it will be quite some time before I take all of the heat for granted.

How many things in our life are like this? The fancy new car becomes our car. The promotion we worked so hard to get eventually becomes our job. It is not until things are taken away that we really appreciate them. This is the benefit of practicing voluntary suffering. By submitting ourselves to being uncomfortable for lengths of time, we not only appreciate comfort more, but are less phased should it be taken away.

This Stoic principle may not seem like the most enjoyable to engage in, but it will make you far more grateful for the rest of your life and better prepared for any challenge that life may throw at you. I would recommend engaging in it today.

THINK ABOUT THIS MONDAY MORNING

Here we are at Monday again! Seems like there is 52 of them a year. So many of us dread Monday. It can be understandable. Back to work, away from the family. You can’t sleep in and spend the day drinking coffee and relaxing with those you love. Unless, of course that is your job. In which case, please let me know where they are hiring. On Monday we have obligations to meet. This time of year we might have some weather to contend with. There are far more challenges than on the weekend.

This quote from the Dalai Lama reminds us that despite our challenges, or often including them, the gift is to be alive. We need to change a little mindset on a Monday. Instead of asking ourselves how we can make it through, I feel we should ask ourselves how we can make sure not to waste it. If we adopt the saying from the Dalai Lama above, we will begin each day with both gratitude for the gift of being alive and an intention to make something out of that gift of life we have been given. This may not always lead to a successful day full of joy and dancing unicorns and rainbows, but the chances sure will improve with intent.

This may seem a bit over-the-top for some of you. It really shouldn’t be. Our lives can be one phone call, one diagnosis away from being flipped upside down. I do not think any of us could argue that. There are people in the hospital wishing and praying for the life we know have. There are people who would have gave anything to make it as long as we have. Their life may have been tragically cut short. Yes, we all have challenges and things we need to overcome. That is part of life and what helps us grow and discover new and wonderful things about ourselves and the world around us.

As for the intent portion of the equation, how much better would our day go if we looked in the mirror and declared that we were going to have a wonderful day no matter what the world threw at us? It is admitting that things may not go according to plan, but we still can maintain control over our emotions. I recall reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. In that book he describes his experiences at a Nazi concentration camp and how he managed to maintain control over his emotions. Dare I say, we will not face something so grave, but we will still face our share of challenges. It may seem like wearing rose colored glasses when we claim we can maintain our inner peace and joy despite outside circumstances, but that is not so. We can still admit we would desire things were different than they were, but that there are still many reasons to be grateful the way things are. Even if, as the quote above says, it is the gift of being alive.

WORK/LIFE BALANCE AND CHASING RABBITS 🐇

I had the great pleasure of going to the “Best of Milwaukee” party as my lovely lady’s bakery was nominated for 3 different awards. While there I met a new friend who was also an entrepreneur. As we talked, some familiar topics began to creep up. As a business owner she struggled with work life balance. Wondering what was the key to keeping her family healthy and happy as well as keeping her business thriving. She was just wondering how to get to that happy place where both had her best and were doing equally as well.

You do not have to be a business owner, or a mother to find yourself in this position. Although, I believe that emotionally that may be one of the toughest combinations. Many people try their best to balance work and life. Does it not seem that just when you are getting your career on track, your family feels deserted? When you work to increase the love and connection with those you love, you find your bank account is near empty and your career or business is suffering. That is because we have been lied to. We have accepted a truth that does not exist. That false truth is work/life balance.

In order for us to feel satisfied that we have done our best in any area of our life, we must feel we have given 100% of ourselves to it. If you give 100% of yourself to something, how much does that leave left over for any other area of your life? That would be zero. Although that truth does not sound as satisfying as achieving some sort of nirvana work/life balance, it is how the human mind and heart operate. Our joy at our success in the area of achievement will be tempered by a feeling of guilt to those areas we have neglected. This is especially true of high achievers who wish to be their best at everything. Best parent, best business owner, best parent, best spouse or best friend. As the picture above alludes to, you cannot chase two rabbits and catch both of them.

As dismal as this may sound, it is also very liberating. Knowing that it is impossible to be amazing at everything all at once eliminates the pressure of having to be. We should still have the desire to be the best version of ourselves that we can be, and it all the facets that we can be. How do we manage that? One way to do this is set times for each area of your life. Give 100% of yourself to that area in the designated time. Then when the time comes to move to another area, give 100% to that area. You will be giving 100% of yourself, but still setting limits as to not burn yourself out. Also, especially if you are a high-achiever, set a designated time to give 100% to active self-care. If you do not take care of yourself, you will not be able to give to your family, business, job or spouse. The better shape you are in, the better you can give.

Another thing to consider is that each area of your life will experience peaks and valleys. It is not a reflection of a failure on your part. It is the natural way of things. Sometimes your business will be suffering and need a little more of your time. Take note that I said ‘more of your time’ and not ‘all of your time’. If you neglect one area for another, you may find yourself running from fire to fire in your life always feeling like you are failing. It may be hard to take a step back from an area that is not at the level you are striving to get it, but it is essential for creating that balance. The most difficult area to do this is self-care. When your business and family need some attention, you can feel guilty taking time for yourself. It is so important to remember that even a little time giving 100% to self-care can allow you to come back with a better ability to serve the area of your life that needs it.

That is not to say any of this is easy. There will still be days you may feel like a failure in some area of your life. It is merely a sign you care. Now that the more you set defined boundaries and take care of yourself, the better your life will be. The balance is in not trying to do it all at once. Keep in mind there will be peaks and valleys and play the long game. You got this!

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO READ THIS! ❤️

I seldom share data like this, but here are the stats for this website for the year. As you can see over 24,000 of you have viewed this site over 30,000 times as of the writing of this post. That is the second most views and the most people since inception. If you would have told me a mere moth ago that we would have reached this many people, I would have had a hard time believing you. It is my sincerest hope that we will continue to reach, inspire, motivate and encourage people from every corner of the globe, which brings us to our next data point.

It may be a little hard to decipher the colors on this map, but everything in shades of green is where are site has been viewed this year. As you can see with the exception of Greenland and a few countries in Africa, we have been viewed pretty much everywhere. Not only does this make me proud, but it highlights a very important point for all of us. That is that self-improvement is universal. I have had the pleasure of chatting with people all around the globe and am constantly reminded that although we are separated by borders, culture and politics, our basic human needs and desire to be better versions of ourselves can be found no matter where you call home.

I mention that point because we all deserve to encourage and help each other on the journey. It also gives me great pleasure to hear from those of you who read this blog, so always feel free to comment or message us your thoughts and ideas. We at Secret2anamazinglife.com want to serve our global community and leave this world a better place than we found it. Thank you all for support and I look forward to having the honor of sharing everything I learn with you.

ONE OF THE PUREST FORMS OF LOVE ❤️

This post could have been titled “Secret to an amazing relationship”. That is what this quote is. A truly great relationship is not just about intensity, but longevity. That may seem painfully obvious, but it is worth saying here in black and white. Even if a relationship has the burning passion of a bonfire, what good is that passion if it burns out rather quickly? Of course it would be great to have a passionate relationship that lasts for a very long time, if not forever. The million dollar question is how to do that.

Consideration is one of the very important tools you can use to give your relationship longevity. Being able to look at a situation, and consider its ramifications, from your partner’s point of view is a priceless skill. It is true that we will never know with 100% certainty how something will affect our partner, friend or coworker. What we can do is use the tools and strategies at our disposal to be able to have an educated and informed thought on the matter.

What tools and strategies will allow you to best be able to consider the other party’s feelings and how the situation may affect them? There are a few big ones I would advocate putting into practice. The first one is active listening. When the other party is venting about something that upsets them, pay attention. When they mention what would bring them joy, pay attention. If you ever have a question about the matter, do not assume. Asking questions for clarity is part of active listening. Listening with the purpose of learning and understanding is also part of active listening. If you go into a conversation with a plan of learning more about the other person, you are more likely to be successful with it.

The other aspect that can really help you better consider another party’s position on a matter is having meaningful dialogue. Many people call this “Having the hard conversations”. They may seem like something you may not want to do, but being able to know where someone stands on a difficult issue prior to that issue occurring, is a big advantage. Begin the conversation by letting them know you are asking because you want to know how best to act should that situation come up. Make it clear you are interested in their feelings and the health of the relationship between both of you. When they do tell you how they feel, or where they stand on a certain issue, accept it without judgement. Remember you are not trying to get them to think like you, just understand how they think.

Using these tools and strategies your relationships will stand a lot better chance of succeeding. When you show consideration for another, it demonstrates that you value them as a person and their roll in your life. If you are wrong in your estimation of how a situation may affect them, or how they feel about it, learn from that too. Before long, all of your relationships will start to improve.

NEVER BE ASHAMED

Today we are celebrating 1250 days in a row we have met here to discuss tools and strategies for success and living an amazing life. Hopefully, today’s post will inspire you and assist you in both of these endeavors. It is about a subject that many struggle with, including those who sit in powerful positions. That is the art, and ability to admit we are wrong.

Admitting we are wrong is never an easy thing to do. It does not feel good. We fear that it makes us look unintelligent or at the very least, not as impressive in someone else’s eyes. The quote above may help us to look at admitting we are wrong in a different light. It not only shows that you are capable of learning and adding to your intellect as Mr. Swift noted, but I think there are a few more things that admitting we are wrong actually do for us. Let us take a look at a few of them below.

Have you ever encountered one of those people who are totally incapable of admitting they are wrong? They come across as arrogant and it actually makes them look fragile. It takes a good deal of self-confidence to admit fault. It shows a certain vulnerability and humbleness. In the case of disagreements in our personal relationships, I think it shows that we are more committed to a solution and solving a problem than being right. It also demonstrates that you are capable of considering the other persons feelings and point of view.

With all of these great traits to be shown by being wrong, we should never be afraid of admitting it. Something to keep in mind is how you handle it when someone admits they are wrong to you. Do you hold it over them? Do you see the traits we mentioned above? How you handle someone else’s mistakes will go a long way in determining how they will handle yours. Show appreciation for them being brave enough to admit their mistake to you. Be thankful you are not with someone who never admits they are wrong.