Tag: inspiration

THE REAL FLEX 💯 💪

I belong to a lot of fitness pages online. They serve a great purpose. People sharing their journeys of accomplishing their goals. Emotional and encouraging support for one another. As well as knowledge in regards to the world of health and fitness

One of the things they do is have a day for people to show off the hard work they have put in. In other words, to literally flex their muscles. To me, fitness is a great accomplishment. It shows a discipline that only hard work can accomplish. It involves sacrifice, strong will and dedication. As Zig Ziglar said, “You can’t pay anyone to do your push-ups for you.”

There are some people online who think that wealth and material gain are the ultimate flex. If done ethically, this can be a great accomplishment to be proud of as well. It can show intelligence, hard work and saving. It is still, however, not the ultimate flex.

This, my friends, is the ultimate flex. Making lives better. Inspiring others and giving them a sense of hope and encouragement. In a world that seems to  be telling us that we are not enough, how valuable is it to hear what a difference you make?

One of the most powerful ways to change the world is to just be kind. I realize at first blush this may sound new-age, or even weak to many of you. Far from it. In a world often filled with insults, sarcasm and negativity, how brave is it to stand up and encourage and genuinely compliment someone?

By changing lives and inspiring others to become the best versions of themselves, we are not only doing good by those souls, but by the world at large. By not only encouraging others to be all they can be, but giving them space and permission to be so! You want to impress the world? Show us how many people you have positively impacted. How many lives have you changed for the better?

IS YOUR OPTIMISM FAITH OR FOLLY?🤔

I am an optimist. That should not surprise many of you. Someone who explores the secrets behind an amazing life is bound to be one. What I find interesting is what many people assume that means.

Let us begin by discussing what it does not mean. Many people associate optimism with some sort of Pollyana. As if we are refusing to acknowledge that problems in life exist. That is not optimism, that is denial. Optimism is not chanting happy sounding mantras that we have no emotional attachment to. That is not what true optimism is about. When most people think of an optimistic person, they often associate it with some sort of weakness or Naivete. Again, both not optimism.

What really optimism encompasses, is a belief that things will eventually work out in your favor. That does not mean denying challenges exist, but asking ourselves what they are trying to teach us, and how we can use them to our advantage. It is being honest that things may not be looking the best right now, but we are growing in strength, knowledge and character. This takes some amount of bravery and a great deal of faith. It is a strong person who can keep their eyes on the distant shore, even in the middle of a tempest. Life will provide storms. When you have an optimistic attitude, you do not pretend it is not raining. You summon your emotional fortitude and decide the best way to navigate that storm. You do so with firm belief you will not only make it through the storm, but be better off for it.

Keeping an optimistic attitude will go a great way to determining the actions we will take and the opportunities we will feel confident to take advantage of. It takes no real strength to be a pessimist. Even those who claim they are ‘realists’ are selling themselves short. Yes, life might not always turn out like we wish, or in the time we desire. Without a firm belief that good things will happen, we are a lot less likely to put ourselves out there and to claim all of the good fortune that we deserve.

HAPPINESS CAN BE BITTERSWEET 😔

Last post I discussed taking my aunt back to her old neighborhood. The thought was she would be happy to see some of the old stores and it would give her a special feeling of happiness. That turned out to be only partly true.

Before we get into that, I should explain this neighborhood. I used to do a radio show there many years ago. I would pick up my aunt before and we would leave her apartment to walk the unique shops. At that time there was an independent created newspaper handed out by hippies in dreadlocks. Now it is a glossy magazine called Shepherd Express.

We began by stopping by my aunt’s favorite Chinese restaurant. It soon became apparent that my aunt’s hearing was not what it used to be. I was hoping to reflect more with her and hear her thoughts on what she remembered. Instead, she seemed to exclude herself from most conversations. When we attempted to converse with her, most times her reply was a dismissive “oh yes. ” Even though it was abundantly clear she had not heard what we were discussing.

At the coffee shop, the music was a little too loud to allow much communication even though we were sitting right next to each other. It was also all of the walking she could handle for the day. Any hopes of reliving the actions of days gone by quickly faded. 

After leaving my aunt that evening, it really hit me that the memory of exploring with my aunt would forever be that – a memory. There had been countless times both of us had talked about doing it, but as happens, life got in  the way. Now, she was no longer physically capable of doing it.

This may seem like a melancholy post. In some ways it is, but it has a message. If there are things you want to experience, do them now! Do not let life get in the way. If there is conversations you want to have with loved ones, even if it is reminiscing about going into occult shops and seeing all the wild stuff they have, do it now. You never know what, or when, time will steal the opportunity from you.

ZEN THOUGHT FOR THE WEEKEND 🧘‍♀️

Here is a secret to an amazing life. Many people are so focused on ‘only thinking positive thoughts’. That is enough to drive you crazy. Stuff happens in life that will throw you. I do not care how positive you are, life can be tough at times. The secret is to have the tools and strategies to make sure the tough times are not that frequent and not that intense. One of the best ways that I have found to do this is to reserve my negative emotional energy for what really matters. If you spend days in bed upset because a person you considered a friend of yours spread negative gossip about you, what are you going to do when you lose a job or a loved one? That is not to say that all of these other things are not terrible, but they do not have to control our spirit.

That is the difference to real positivity and the kind that just glosses over life. Real positivity acknowledges that life sucks sometimes. Instead of crying, “Why me?” it says, “This bad thing happened. Now what?” Noticing you are feeling sad, irritable or angry is not necessarily bad. It is a learning opportunity. How did these feelings come about? What were the causes and what possible solutions can we try to use to change our emotional state? These questions can be better answered if you are in the habit of journaling. Trying to figure all of this out in your head can lead one to a state of insanity in a short amount of time.

Do your best to be an observer of your thoughts. Whether they are good or bad, ask yourself some of the questions we mentioned above. When you find things that trigger bad moods, try to avoid or eliminate those. When you find things that lift up your emotional state, do more of those. In this manner you will continue to move your life one step closer to amazing. Again, this does not mean there will not be rough patches. I think you can see by observing and understanding your thoughts and emotions, you can add more of what fills you with joy, and less of what takes away from your joy. That is the secret to an amazing life.

LET THIS FACT GUIDE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE 🦮

This may be my stoic way of thinking, but I find this to be a very powerful and motivational quote. Many people have told me it sounds morbid or fatalistic. Why? It is a fact. We never know exactly when our final day may come, but we know it is out there. It will never be a comfortable situation to be faced with, but wouldn’t you rather do so prepared? How can one prepare for the end of their life? By living each day to the fullest. This does not mean working yourself to the bone, or even not working at all and spending all day in leisure.

For me, if the end came tomorrow, I would want to know that I made the most out of each moment. How do we do that? The first part is the ability to be present. This is a skill that is all but gone from the world today. I recently saw a video where a monk was asked his secret for remaining joyful. His answer, in its simplicity, was yet profound. He said, “When I am at work, I work. When it is time to eat, I am eating. When it is time for sleep, I am sleeping.” He went on to explain much of the discord in life is that when people are at work, they are thinking about eating. When they are eating, they are wishing they were sleeping. When they finally get to bed at night, they are already worried about working the next day. How true is this? When we find our mind regretting the past, or worried about the future, we are doing the same thing. The past and future do not exist. If you dread and regret the past, use that emotion to drive you to do better in the present. If you are worried about some aspect of your future, use that emotion to plan and prepare better today. The present is the only time we have control over.

The end is always drawing closer. This is not meant to scare us, but to motivate us. Do what you can with what you got today. You never know what you will have tomorrow. Love with all you have today. That is one thing you will never regret. If it is true that we might die tomorrow, how are we living today? Ask yourself that question.

IT IS LIKE MAGIC 🎩

This is something I have the great pleasure of experiencing in my life. It is not by accident. If you are a giving type of person, I will naturally gravitate towards you. People who show a great interest in helping others are people I like to have in my life. For example, I just have coffee with my good friend Nick the other day. He is a giver. Always happy to lend an ear, some solid advice and even some encouragement. A great guy. A few posts ago, I mentioned Tanya and Montell, who are friends of Margie and I. Very generous and giving people.

The danger of being a giving person is that sometimes you connect with a taking person. Someone who is just looking to drain others. That is why it is so important for giving people to set boundaries, otherwise they could find themselves drained and jaded. A taking person can ruin a giving person, but only if they are allowed. When two giving people get together it is not only like magic, but an artful dance. Sometimes one person gives, sometimes the other gives. Yes, there is taking in this relationship. If not, it would not be possible for there to be giving. What is beautiful is that the reciprocation is always right around the corner.

Giving people can often have a hard time receiving. This is where being with another giving person helps. You are both able to give, and to help the other receive. I used to be someone who had a hard time receiving. Then, I heard a story about a man who also tried to be a giver. One day a friend of his took him to lunch. When the man tried to pay the bill his friend snatched it out of his hand and exclaimed, “How dare you deprive me of the joy of taking you to lunch!” I had never quite thought of it that way. I feel great giving and helping others. I am sure they feel the same way helping me. Why should I deny them that? It has helped me be a little more comfortable with the receiving aspect of relationships.

How about you? Do you know some amazing givers? Are you a giver? If so, have you been able to set boundaries so you are not taken advantage of and drained? Have you found other giving souls to connect with and how has that created magic in your life?

WHAT ARE YOUR 7 MINUTES? 🎰

This is an interesting thought. I’ve been clinically dead for a bit, but not sure how much my brain lived on before, during our after for that matter. If it is true, and I’m not sure how they came by this information, it brings up several important questions.

The most important one is rather obvious. What is your 7 minutes? Were they when you are younger? Have they come recently? Are they, as this quote implies, tied to a certain person? Have they Perhaps come at a certain location? Maybe your best 7 minutes was engaged in a certain activity?

I think if we view our life in 7 minute blocks, it can help us stay in the present. After all, 7 minutes is not a very long time. I can tell you there have been several 7 minutes in my life that I can recall. The first 7 minutes I spent in Jamaica with Margie. Knowing I had helped make one of her life dreams come true. Even the first time she was able to see a palm tree in Las Vegas. Recently walking hand in hand in the Bahamas shopping and making new friends was amazing. I recall a morning sipping my favorite iced coffee with my mother at the State Fair listening to a band play tropical music. That was an awesome 7 minutes! Speaking of the State Fair, last year I proposed to Margie there. That was a crazy and memorable 7 minutes.

As you can see, there are several people and locations involved in my 7 minutes. I also think of my uncle and I at the Iola car show, my grandfather and I at this rummage event. My grandmother and I playing cards for an entire afternoon. So many good memories! Each one of them is an amazing 7 minutes. How my brain will pick out 7 from all that will be a neat trick. Then again, I am not in a hurry to find out. Instead, I am going to focus on what I will suggest you focus on – creating more amazing 7 minutes!

HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO.

This picture is great! Obviously a point about focus. You may be thinking, like I was, “Not me! I appreciate what Ihave!” Then I took another look at the picture and thought what I would do if someone handed me a cake with one slice missing. What would you do? Can you imagine going to the store buying a cake with one slice gone? What about a slice of cake? A lot less, but if someone handed you a slice of cake, you would not ask where the rest of the cake went.

People are a little like the cake. Most are not as sweet, but the theory is the same. If someone shared a lot with you, but kept one part of their life secret, we would feel like we were missing something. Like the cake with a slice missing. Yet, if someone were to share just a little with us, we would feel like they were giving us something a little special. Just like a slice of cake.

I live with the most beautiful baker, trust me when I tell you I know a thing or 2 about cake! Whether we are given a little, or a lot with just one thing missing we should appreciate what we have. Changing focus will take us from expectation to appreciation! Imagine how that could change your life!

HEY YOU! JOHNNY APPLESEED! 🍎🍏

Have you ever heard of Johnny Appleseed? This may surprise many of you, but he was a real person. His name was John Chapman. He was an American nurseryman. Meaning he looked after young plants, not young humans. He was famous for introducing large parts of North America to trees grown from apple seeds. He was a very successful business man who ended up owning over 1200 acres of land by the time of his death. He shared his knowledge and seeds with many different people. He would plant a nursery, move on and come back a few years later to check on it. Cute story, but what does that have to do with living an amazing life?

We can be our own Johnny (Or Janie) Appleseed. What we can do is spread seeds of inspiration, hope and empowerment. I use the example of Johnny Appleseed, and planting seeds in general for 2 very important reasons. First, we must keep in mind no matter how pure our intentions, we should not try to change other people. Planting a seed is just that. You give them the opportunity to let it grow within themselves. What they do with it is their responsibility. They can water or fertilize it, or they can let it die. All of that is up to them. We must keep this perspective to help us from becoming disillusioned when our efforts to help someone improve their life do not seem to be working. We are planting a seed. Different seeds grow at different rates. It has a lot to do with both the seed itself, as well as the environment. The same can be said with the seed of self-improvement, encouragement or whatever else you are planting.

That leads us to our second reason for using this metaphor. You may want to stop by after some time and see how the seed you planted is coming along. If it does not seem to be blossoming, there may be several reasons. It may be growing slowly. It could use some extra help, or just some extra time. Maybe it did not take root at all? You may need to plant some more seeds or find more fertile ground. Just remember, the more seeds you plant, the more likely they are to grow. Spread the seeds of love, kindness and compassion wherever you go. You could even wear a pot on your head like Johnny Appleseed if you think it would help.

KEEP ONE AROUND

One of the great secrets to an amazing life is to set yourself up for success. Learn as many tools and strategies to improve your life and maintain a positive emotional state as you can. Never rely on just one strategy to get the job done. Just as a screwdriver would not work to saw a log in half, or a saw to put a screw in, different situations in life call for different tools.

One thing that will help is setting your environment up for success. In this endeavor, use the same approach. Engage as many tools and strategies as you are able. I have a daily inspirational calendar I read. There are also motivational pictures and quotes in my locker at work. We discussed having a ‘happy playlist’ of songs that inspire you at the ready. Another great idea is to keep pictures around that just make you smile. The picture above of the otter is a great example. I have many silly and adorable pictures of my beautiful lady that never fail to put a smile on my face. I would share one of them here, but I fear I may be sleeping on the porch then.

How about you? What tools and strategies do you use to keep a smile on your face and joy in your heart? Do you have any pictures that make you smile? Are they placed where you can see them every day? Share your ideas so that we may all be one step closer to an amazing life!