It is a sad fact that many people today feel like they do not count. That could not be further from the truth. We all matter despite what others and the world may tell us. In my own life, when I begin to feel down and like I need a reminder of my significance, I found the best way to accomplish both of those is to be a blessing to others. By doing so, I not only feel valuable knowing that I brought good to the life of another, but I know from all of those who bring good to my life how much that matters.
Being a blessing can happen in so many ways. For a few ideas, read our last post, 3 steps to paradise. You can inspire someone with your thoughts. This can be a simple prayer for someone or just sending them some good vibes. Feeling grateful for someone can put a smile on your face as well. Another way to be a blessing is to vocalize these thoughts. Sharing a kind word with others is such a blessing these days. Kind words can be rare making them not only valuable, but a true blessing. Lastly, you can do a good deed for someone. Buy a coffee for the one you love, give someone a card for no reason. Even a welcoming hug a sharing a smile with a stranger can be more of a blessing than you know.
You matter. You are a blessing. We all are. Let us be blessings for others today.
As much as I would like this post to be about 3 steps to finding yourself on a tropical beach somewhere, that is not what we are discussing today. This is something even better! What could be better than being on a tropical beach? Can you believe that I even said there is something better? What is better is living a life that you do not need a vacation from. That has been so much in self-improvement circles that it almost sounds cliche. Living this kind of life is not as difficult as one may think. The principles we are going to discuss can be applied on a beach in Jamaica, or while working in a state that seems to have 9 months of winter…hypothetically.
Paradise, like this dinner on the beach in the Bahamas Margie and I shared, can be reached inside one’s soul. The first of the three steps listed above in a good thought. I cannot mention how much this can change your situation. Just this morning I was working on a very physically demanding task at my day job. Struggling to get through it, I thought of the beautiful lady above and how I was earning money to be able to do things to bring a smile to her face. Would you believe that gave me not only the boost of energy to continue, but made the task an almost pleasant means to an end.
The second step to paradise, going by the quote we started with, is a good word. This is certainly something the world needs. There is quite a bit of negative, angry and depressing words around. Sharing a good word with others can not only change their world, but yours as well. That word could be encouragement, a genuine compliment or just sharing of good news. In doing this, you create a more pleasant environment for all of those around you, and in turn, they tend to be in a better mood. When you are surrounded by people in a good mood, that makes your life a lot sweeter.
The last step to paradise is a good deed. Like making delicious tacos for the man who loves you so much. Margie made me these tacos the other night after a hard days work. I cannot begin to explain the joy, gratitude and love for her this kind deed invoked. When you do a kind deed for others, again it is a win/win situation. You make them not only happy, but grateful that you are in their life. How do you think that will affect your future interactions with them? You also get a feeling of contentment knowing that you have brought joy or assistance to someone else’s life.
Using the principles discussed in the quote above, people who think good thoughts, speak good words and do good deeds will have a life that feels like paradise. That is why people who may appear to have it all, but do not practice these three things, will not have a fulfilling life. If you are thinking about revenge, speaking with a lot of sarcasm, and worried only about yourself, your life will never feel like paradise. Does your life feel like you need a vacation? It happens to all of us. Just do more of the three things above and soon your life will begin to feel better than ever.
Far be it from me to advise you what to do while you are in the shower. That seems a little invasive from someone you may have never met on the other side of the screen. This meditation might be another secret we could all add to help us reach that amazing life. Developing rituals that lead us in the direction we wish our life to go will be something discussed in depth in my next book. Until that is released, allow me to share this idea with you.
Showering is something we all hopefully do on a regular basis. Why not turn this experience into one that refreshes our soul and spirit? Picturing, and feeling, all of this happen can really give us a change in attitude. I often say when stuck around people who have a ‘sunshine challenged’ attitude that I need to take a shower. This is metaphorical, but I guess does not have to be. Showers are cleansing physically, why not mentally and spiritually as well?
Take the time you spend in the shower to mentally disconnect for a while. It is warm, you are by yourself, you can’t really hear much. If you have a shower speaker, maybe some meditative music would be nice. Picture all of the negativity of the day being washed off you and going down the drain. Feel your energy being renewed. It may be that little bit of peace you need in the middle of a chaotic day,
There are many other cleansing rituals that people do that can work as well. In Native culture there is smoke from smudge or sage that is used to cleanse spiritually. That are people who go to special mineral baths to bath in. Showers are nice because most of us use them on a regular basis. It might be fun to employ this same thinking next time you are caught in the rain as well. The waters could be washing all of the negative energy in your life away. By the time you arrive home, your clothes may be heavier, but your spirit will be lighter.
Do you remember having a tree house as a kid? I was never fortunate enough to have one of my own, but I did have a few friends who had some. They were often simple affairs. If we didn’t have access to tree houses, we built little forts. Often deep in a park or woods away from adults who could correct all the terribly unsafe things we were doing. When we didn’t have access to, or it was just too cold to venture out to a park, we made forts inside the house. Again, simple affairs that were added on to as long as they continued to exist. They sure could be exciting!
On the way to write today, for some reason those memories popped in my head. Ever one to mine ways in which we can capture some of that seemingly long-lost passion and zeal for life, I pondered what made them so exciting. I recall my friend Jeremy’s ‘tree house’. It wasn’t actually in a tree. His father built it in their huge garage. It still was a little hideaway where we could hold court. I remember putting up posters of bands we liked. Probably a few of girls we liked as well. Hey, we were young teenage boys. When we got a radio we searched to put it in just the right place where it would blast the most sound. We even set an alarm that would alert us when an adult might be approaching. Not that I recall doing anything too outlandish in that abode.
Blanket forts, though not as elaborate, were equally exciting. Just the fact that they were separate. It was our domain. We could arrange them as we see fit. We could picture ourselves anywhere. Even then, this helped me on a cold Wisconsin winter. We could escape to a corner of the fort that was set aside as a time machine and could travel anywhere we wanted. We could decorate it anyway we thought looked cool. When that no longer suited us, we could tear it down and start all over again.
Where is all of this going? Am I going to tell you to go home and build a fort with blankets? Well….that is not entirely a bad idea. If that is not to your liking, there is something that we can take away from all of this that will help us regain some of that youthful enthusiasm for life.
When we were discussing the treehouses and forts, we mentioned all of the things kids do to make them ‘cool’. I mentioned putting up pictures of bands and things that made us excited to be alive. Well, who says the pictures in your house have to be limited to family and flowers? Put up a picture, or some other work of art, that speaks to your spirit. Every time you pass it, you will get that little jolt of excitement. Can you imagine how that might impact your life? How about finding the radio that I mentioned? We put in our earbuds when we are struggling to breathe on the treadmill, but there is something to be said about turning up some tunes and rocking out in your living room.Added bonus if it is a song you liked from your youth.
As far as alarms to let you know someone is coming, we have those too. Some of us have ring cameras we can check on our phones even while we are miles away. Most of us at least have a deadbolt. Not the most exciting, but if we picture that kid in the treehouse every time we turn the lock, it can seem just that little bit more exciting. It is this very change in perception that can help us recapture some of our passion for life. Our houses are our adult treehouses. Remember the place for a time machine I mentioned? Well, do you have a place you set aside to relax or meditate? If not, could you have one? You could close your eyes and pretend you are somewhere else. This could come in really handy after a tough work day.
The sad truth is that our appreciation for the simple things in life tends to fade as we grow older. Hiding in a blanket fort with those we love seems less exciting and we are waiting for a tropical vacation. Please do not misunderstand me. I am all for a tropical vacation. What many of us fail to realize is that by developing our appreciation for the small things, it only increases our gratitude for the seemingly big things. That is a thought we will continue tomorrow.
Last post we mentioned the quote from Tony Robbins that “What is wrong is always available. So is what is right.” Some of us have a challenge developing a grateful mindset. Doing so is the secret to living an amazing life. One of the easiest ways of doing this is to look around at the lives of those less fortunate. We do not have to look very far. The news is full of tragedy of both a personal and geographical nature. It blows my mind how upset with life some people can be. They lament how unfair life is or how hard they have it. If you can read these words, you have it better than millions of others. You are literate. That means you have the potential to learn just about anything. You have access to the internet. Which again means you can learn just about anything.
Gandhi’s thought above is a really bold statement. The late Greg Plitt, who continues to inspire, said “If you feel unmotivated to change your life, take a walk through the cancer ward at a children’s hospital.” That is an uncomfortable statement. The reason that it is so uncomfortable is that it forces us to realize how much greater our challenges can be. This is not to say whatever you are going through is not tough. Many of you are facing challenges greater than anything I have ever faced. It just reminds us that there are others who are struggling worse than us and could use our support and compassion.
Sticking with the gent from India, this is a great next step. When we see those folks who remind us that our situation could be worse. We should reach out and lend a hand. It is what will not only make their challenge a little less. It will help us gain the knowledge that even in our most challenging of times, we can be of service to others. We not only can be, but we should be. It is in doing so that we often discover our greatest gifts and talents. This can give us the confidence and purpose to make it through our own challenges. It is a win/win situation. It is how the world should be.
This post comes out on a Monday. Back at work for most of us. We are busy working to keep the lights on and the bills paid. Before we know it, the week is over and we are exhausted. Socrates, and by the way of this post myself, are here to tell you not to forget the things that truly matter. I cannot convey my dismay at how many of us spend our lives majoring in minor things. I am not judging. I am guilty of this far too often myself.
This life we are given is a great gift. If we are not enjoying it, we are wasting it. You might be saying, “Neil, you do not know my situation. I cannot enjoy life right now.” You are right. I do not know your situation. There is one thing that I am sure of when if comes to your life, even if we have never met. That is that your life, and the lives of those you share it with are growing shorter by second. Each and every one of us will leave this beautiful planet and we have no idea when. It seems as we get older, or maybe face a serious medical condition, our urgency to live a life that matters increases. That is why you see so many people contemplating their own lives at a funeral of a loved one. It serves as a reminder that life is shorter than we think.
This thought of ever approaching, and uncertain, death is not to scare you. Quite the contrary. It is to motivate you. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. Even situations that are not ideal. Your job may not be the one of your dreams. Personally, I am still waiting to host a talk show. Even in that job you can practice gratitude and find the joy. It can be your coworkers. It can be the interactions you have with the public or the opportunity to make their day a little brighter.
We pass by so much beauty and so many miracles on a daily basis it is beyond comprehension. Take walking by a beautiful tree. Have you ever stopped to think about how many years it took that tree to get to the stage it is now? What did it all need and have to go through? How many storms did it weather? Years of growth, fighting wind, rain and perhaps scorching sun. Still, here you are able to stand in its shade. Too obscure of a reference for you? Let us look at another one.
Working with the public is a challenge. I have done it my whole life. When you come to a coffee shop and the lady behind the counter greets you with a smile, do you know how hard that might be? Any smile we are given, whether by stranger or friend, is a tremendous gift! Think of what a smile means. Despite the challenges that person is facing, and we all are facing some challenge, they wanted to share a gesture of joy and acceptance with us. They could have thought of the crazy state of the world and scowled. They could have been overcome with grief and looked at us with tears in their eyes. Which are both gifts as well. Someone being brave enough to share their inner-most thoughts and emotions. Are you beginning to see how we are missing so much in life?
Aside from stopping and staring pensively at a tree, which might not be a bad idea, how can we begin to appreciate all of these miracles and beauty we are missing? There is a clue in the question. Appreciation. When we stop to be grateful for things, it not only adds joy to our lives, it helps us be a more appreciative and loving person. Who wouldn’t want to be around someone like that? Think of the plants in the islands in the middle of the street. Most of us pay them little, if any, attention as we drive by. While it is smart to keep your eyes on the road, a glance in their direction would serve us well. Can you imagine how dull and lifeless the street would look without them? This is just one example.
Another suggestion is to try and be present as much as you can. In the middle of a walk, stop and take a deep breath and soak up the moment. Who you are with. What is around you. You can combine this with finding something to be grateful for. I was behind a lady at the supermarket who was obviously in a hurry and was not keen to wait in the line we were in. That is understandable. How lucky were we that we were both able to afford groceries and that there were some there to purchase? In many places of the world this is not the case. We did not have to hunt or farm. We were not living in an impoverished country. Yes, long lines at the grocery store are not fun. Do you know what is worse? Wasting time being upset about being there. I am getting ahead of myself. We will talk more about that tomorrow.
This picture was taken August 9th at the Wisconsin State Fair. My mother and I were enjoying what was supposed to be the second last day of the fair. It is one of my favorite places. In fact, I have attended every year since 1975 and every day since 1996. At the time rain began to fall and everyone was told it was going to be a passing storm. We, like so many others, waited for the rain to pass. What happened next nobody expected. It has since been referred to as a 1000 year flood. The effect to the community was unprecedented.
The day after revealed many horrors. Business were flooded. There was an apartment structure that had underground parking. More than 30 cars were seen floating in over 10 feet of water. This was for a building not located on a flood plain. There were so many personal struggles as well. People’s basements flooded. Some even had their foundations crumble. Above are pictures from my friend Ricky’s house. Ricky is not only the owner of the local gym, Peak Physique, he also is part of many community groups. You can see the level of water that was outside his house and everything they lost. Him and his wife were forced to move out of their house while it has to be completely redone.
Their story is not unique, but certainly devastating. Insurance for Ricky, as well as for many others, simply is not offering much assistance. It was painful to see so many of our friends, family and citizens of our great city struggle so greatly. The rain continued to fall off and on for the next several days making clean up even more of a challenge. As the news began to come out about all of the tragedy suffered in our community, a wonderful thing started to happen. It reminded me of something one of the most famous neighbors of all time said.
As dawn broke the following day, the damage became apparent. Many people had lost power. Some even lost homes and cars from which they could get power. Then, the response came. Not from FEMA or some other agency, but from fellow friends and neighbors. Two bars, Brass Monkey and Brass Boar’s Den opened up early with free coffee, Wi-Fi and places for people to charge their laptops, phones or just gather. One business, I sadly forget which one, offered bagged lunches for people who needed them and people who were helping others. The owner of a bakery, Bishop Sweets, even offered to help people that needed it. Another bakery, Storytime Sweets, gave away free treats to those affected by flood damage. Just to brighten their spirits.
There were also numerous gofundme pages set up to help those across the community. People chipping in whatever they could to help people just like Ricky and his wife Leah. I will include a link to the gofundme hub if you would like to help someone on the list. Although donating to help each other was certainly something that was both needed and appreciated, people found another wonderful way to help support their neighbors in this time of need. There was an incredible swelling of community spirit.
The way in which they decided to help was to support many of the businesses that were affected. I mentioned that Ricky owned the gym Peak Physique. Many people looked to sign up, or stopped by the gym to see how they could help or what Ricky and his wife need. They even have a ‘Biggest Loser’ fall challenge coming up that would allow many to experience the gym and all it has to offer. People supported those who were supporting others. People began buying desserts from Bishop Sweets. They stopped and had a cocktail or food at Brass Boar or Brass Monkey. Things that we all can do to help our community stay strong and not only make it through this challenge, but grow stronger because of it!
When a community is hit by a flood the ‘sink or swim’ is not only literal, but also metaphoric. I was so proud to see so many come together and display the sense of community that makes this city great. If you care to be one of the ‘helpers’ mentioned in the quote above, feel free to click the link below or go and support local businesses like Peak Physique or any others. They could all use your support, both financial and emotional. That is what makes us all great neighbors.
Imagine seeing a man wearing such a hat walking down your street. This man, Steve, lived in my city and quite often walked the streets wearing this hat and often dressed in the most outlandish outfits. Many people were cruel and mocked him as he walked past. Some shouted mean and hurtful things as they drove past him. None of them asked him about his hat or why he dressed as he did. In fact, very few actually stopped to get to know the man in the hat.If you asked people in the city if they knew of the man in the crazy hat, most of them would say “Yes!” If you further asked them what his name was, they would be silent. One person even told me, “Why would I want to talk to a crazy person like that?”
His name was Steve. I had the pleasure of sharing a breakfast with him at a charity event. Not only was he not crazy, he was polite, insightful and kind. He had a chemistry degree and held several patents. The story behind the hat and the outfits is a rather personal and tragic one. Although that is what the majority of people wanted to know, it actually was one of the least remarkable things about this man. Most people wanted to know, “Why does he wear the hat?” Very few stopped to ask, “Who is the man under the hat?” If they had, they would have met a caring and soft-spoken man who was enjoyable to talk to.
In today’s world we can be quick to judge without knowing the story behind the person. It reminds me of a story that the author Stephen Covey shared. He was on the subway with a man whose children were running wild and the man just sat there doing nothing. The kids were running, yelling and jumping. Can you imagine yourself in Stephen’s situation? How frustrating would that be? You are just trying to get where you are going meanwhile these children are misbehaving and their father seems to either not notice or care. Finally, Stephen had enough and said to the man that he should do something about his children. The man looked up with tears in his eyes and said, “I am sorry you are right. We just came back from the hospital where their mother died. They really don’t know how to act right now and neither do I.” Guess how Stephen felt then?
Whether it is children running crazy on a subway, or a man who walks around in a crazy hat and outfits, let us seek to understand instead of judge. Something that life will always remind us of is that none of us have all the answers. We all have our quirks and faults. If our life was to be laid bare and our skeletons let out of the closet, we would be praying that nobody judged us. Let us afford each other the same courtesy.
There is a very important lesson in this quote. That lesson is the need to be honest with yourself. If we fail to enact this first step, we will never succeed in our path to self-improvement. I am living proof. It was not until I became honest about who I was, and learned to accept it, that I could begin to improve on some of the areas I need to. That is why constructive criticism can be so helpful. Quite often, we simply do not know what we do not know. This is especially true about ourselves. It can be very difficult to hold up an honest mirror.
Accepting who we are is so important because it allows us to have a starting point. Think of a map. If you do not know where you are starting from, how do you know what path to take to get to where you want to go? Accepting yourself does not mean that you are satisfied, or not acknowledging that there are areas that need improvement. It means that you came to terms with who you are. You are no longer fighting against yourself. When we refuse to accept what we truly are, we are like that hamster in the the wheel. We can work as hard as we want, but we will not get anywhere.
Set aside some time for quiet reflection as to your true identity. If you are brave enough, seek help from a trusted and loving friend. Do not forget to show them compassion and understand that they are not hurting you by making you aware of some of your faults. Then, lovingly accept who you are. That is both the areas that are amazing as well as those that could use a little improvement. The sooner you do this, the quicker you can begin to improve yourself and your life.
What did you feel when you read the quote on this picture? Did it make you smile? It was just a simple greeting, but it warms the heart. Can you imagine how others would feel if you sent them a message like this?
In a world filled with divisive messages and fear and hate, why not send more messages like this? Each one is a little do of positivity. It might be just what someone needs to brighten their day. I encourage you to send out several cheerful greetings daily. See how people respond.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 