SECRET FORMULA FOR A POSITIVE LIFE.

I posted this on my Facebook page 4 years ago. It showed up in my memories and I was interested to note although I agree with this statement, my approach is almost opposite. While it is true if you fill your days with attention to negative people and situations there leaves little time to focus on what is good. This will leave you feeling at the very best uninspired at the end of the day. Do this over a prolonged period of time and you will feel tired, worn out and depressed.

So how can you eliminate the negative from your life? Here is a very painless and easy formula I share at my seminars. If you are anything like me telling your negative friend “I can’t hang out with you because you just bring me down and complain all of the time” is not that easy. So how can you eliminate negative things in your life? Here is the formula. The best way to limit and get rid of the negative is by adding the positive.

How does this work? Well I heard people say that they don’t like looking at their Facebook pages because it is to negative and drama filled. I tell them to get rid of those people or at the very least hide their newsfeeds. I hear a million and one reasons why this can’t happen. “It’s my uncle though” or “I have to work with this person everyday”. Ok, well then add positive pages and people. At least that way when you log on between the politics and drama you may find some motivation and inspiration. Same works for negative people that want your time. Find some positive people and pursuits and commit your time to them. Then when the negative Nancys come calling you can honestly say “I’m sorry I am busy that night” Even if you feel obligated to spend some time with these folks if you also add positive people and experiences they can certainly be a little easier to take.

Feel free to share this blog post and formula with all of those you care about. Thank you.

TAKE IT WITH YOU

This is my coffee mug this morning, and my hand holding said mug. Notice the fun state fair logo? When I took this picture it was early in the morning, about 37 degrees, snowing and I was on my way to work. Most importantly, I was happy. Why, when I am not a fan of winter, or snow was I so sunny on the inside? There are several reasons, the people I surround myself with, my belief system which has taken years to come to fruition and little reminders and symbols I bring with me. I am a huge fan of the state fair here in Wisconsin. It is during the warm summer months, there is generally no snow in August here. For some reasons I also enjoy balloons. They tend to make me happy. This coffee mug has the state fair logo, a balloon and even a pig, which although this one looks slightly guilty of something, they are an animal I enjoy seeing at the state fair.

So what difference does this coffee mug make in the overall course of my day? It does two things, it holds my coffee, which is a very important job and it also serves as a small reminder of all these little things that make me smile. Why is that so important? If you are going to have a travel mug full of coffee to take with you anyway, why not have one that makes you smile? There are plenty of little things we come across throughout our day that can challenge our inner sunshine, so fill your day with as many symbols and reminders of joy as you can. You can put a smiley face on your dashboard, or picture of your loved one in your visor. Little flower on your desk at work? Whatever symbols mean joy and happiness to you. So take them with you. Leave them all over. Remind yourself of everything that makes you happy and everything you have to be grateful for in as many ways as you can.

Feel free to share this blog post with others and please feel free to share your symbols of happiness with us in the comments below.

THIS COULD BE THE MOST IMPORTANT P WORD OF ALL TIME

Today’s ‘P’ word may not be that easy to guess by the picture. It may, however, be the most important word in your life. As I sit here typing in the local coffee shop I am debating how to fit all of the information about this word in a short blog. Know what you read here will be expanded upon in my upcoming book Living the Dream. Still this word will change your life. It will act as an internal compass giving your life direction. It will automatically give you a sense of what is right and wrong for you to do. It will even help you decide what is worth spending your time and energy on.

In my own life let me share with you what this word has done for me. It has eliminated the small stresses in life that used to bother me. It has given me an excitement for life that I didn’t have before. It has allowed me to feel like I am being a use to the world and to my fellow man. The negativity that surrounds my day job at the post office seem to become comical. Most importantly though for me is every day I wake up I have a drive and a direction to go in. It gives me a reason to get out of bed, and for those of you who know me that can be a challenge. We won’t even mention what I am like before my first cup of coffee.

Ok, what one word could possibly do all of this and how can you get in on it? Here is the good news, this word comes to you free and clear. The only requirement is a little bit of soul searching which ends up being pretty fun anyway. This word that can do all of that and more is PURPOSE. How can purpose do all that? Let me try to explain in brief. Here is my life purpose. To help others see the beauty in themselves and the world around them, including the people they share it with. Finding your sense of purpose can tell you if you are doing things that are a waste of your time and energy or not. Does it bring you closer to your purpose or not? For me if what I am doing does not help others see the beauty in themselves and the world around them than I am not using my time and energy correctly. It also helps me with my morals. If I were to do something that would go against people seeing the beauty in themselves or the world around them that would be defined as a sin in my world.

Here is a few things about purpose. You do not have to change jobs to live your passion, although you may find yourself heading down that path after a while. For example, my job at the post office puts me in touch with a lot of people and I do my best to make their days brighter and let them know good things about themselves. I also purchased a motivational calendar for the break room to help set a better mood. Still I find myself devoting a greater amount of time and energy to this blog, my next book and seminars. Which is how I found myself part of the Wisconsin author festival pictured above. Another thing about purpose is that it should be something bigger than yourself. It may very well include yourself as in the example above, but not exclusively.

So how does one go about discovering their passion? There are many sites and books devoted to the topic and I would recommend exploring the ones that speak to you. Also creating a simple life mission statement like the one I had for my life earlier in this post goes a long way. There is a free tool to help you do so on http://www.nightingale.com Also think of things that interested you as a child. This can also leave clues as to what may be your life’s purpose. Hobbies are another great source that one can explore their purpose as well. Again this is just the tip of the iceberg when discussing this subject.

Please feel free to share your life’s purpose in the comments below as well as how knowing it has improved your life. PLEASE share this post anyway you can. If more people in this world find their life’s purpose the world will be a better place for all of us.

MAKE SURE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT THING

This is something that may be difficult for a lot of people. In fact, when you are under emotional distress it can be difficult for just about anyone, including an author/blog writer/postal worker. When you are having a disagreement the natural urge is to discover who is the one to blame for the upset. I have been guilty of this myself, if you don’t believe me I am sure my beautiful lady would back me up. Here is what I learned, Most of the time the fault is usually shared. Here is something else I have learned, finding out whose fault it is does little or nothing to fix the issue at hand.

So what should you be looking for? A solution, or as the picture above says, a remedy. Ask yourself this question, what would be the ultimate outcome? Let us say your spouse said something that really embarassed you in public. First of all, chances are they did not intend to do so, and if they did you may wish to question your choice of spouse. Now if you argue about whether it was their fault for saying it, or yours for not letting you know that won’t solve you feeling foolish. The ultimate goal here is to have your spouse know what bothers you and to hopefully have the situation not happen in the future.

This takes practice and trust me if you can try it first on an issue that is not so heated it works a lot better. Ask yourself what you would like to happen, what is your goal going forward? Then, ask yourself how you can best recruit your partners help in that matter. Here is a clue, saying “It is your fault” does not often lead to a feeling of cooperation. Rather let them know that you understand they did not mean to upset you and that you both would like to avoid that in the future. Then ask for their help in coming up with a solution. Having them involved creates a feeling of working together. Whether it is an intimate relationship, a friendship or even a coworker you are in this together and things work a lot better if you work together.
This works even better if you can begin by admitting your share of the fault to begin with. That takes the pressure off of everyone. It may also take the fire out of the arguement to some extent. It works even better if you are to follow it up with something like “I would like to work together to make sure we don’t have this problem in the future. What can I do on my end to help that?” To often we like to tell people what they should do, but in reality whether or not that will happen is up to them. Showing that you are willing to work on things on your side demonstrates good faith and a desire to clear up conflict.

So in the 2016 let us work to find remedies, not fault.

LOVE THEM ALL

Yesterday we spoke of change and how important it was to embrace it. Here is another subject we should consider going into the next year, diversity. I know that can be a buzz word around the office and for HR purposes, but I am talking about personal diversity.

What do I mean by personal diversity? Imagine being surrounded by people exactly the same as yourself. Dating someone exactly like yourself, talking to people who think just like you do, watch the same shows, go to the same places. Life would not be very exciting. You would never learn about great new places to explore, new foods to try and new experiences to have. So in the coming year we should make a point to expand our personal social circle. Find people who can teach you, who can inspire you and who can bring something new to your life experience. It will be one of the best gifts you can give yourself in the new year!

JUST DON’T FIGHT IT

As the old year starts to wind down and we prepare for the upcoming year there is one thing that is certain, it will not be the same. It is even hard to imagine a year being exactly the same as the last. Can you imagine eating the same things next December 28th that you ate this morning? Going to work and having the same things happen? Can you imagine having to wear the same clothes that you did on that day the year before? If all of this sounds absurd, ask yourself why. Is eating the same thing really depend on who you are with and what you can afford? Does wearing the same things depend on the weather?

The point of this is some people cannot accept, or at the very least have a hard time realizing things change. Fighting change is like trying to stop the sun from rising, it is just not going to happen. Of course there are great things in our life that we would like to never end. I have had a few of those myself, but time marches on and certainly everything from that fabulous party you were attending to a friendship, relationship or even the life of someone you care about must all come to an end. Change is the natural progression of things. If this were not the case a seed would never become a plant and we would not have food. Medicine would never be developed, houses would not be built we would never have the chance to see our children grow and develop.

So what can we do when something that gives us a great sense of joy changes? I was faced with this in the most odd circumstances just the other day. There is a building that has stood close to where I grew up. It was a car dealership at one point, a carpet store and probably some other things I forgot. I never spent a good amount of time inside of this place, but I must have walked by it a thousand or more times. It was a very unique building and I always thought it would make a great coffee shop. The other day I drove by and found it mostly demolished. For some reason I am not totally clear on it affected me more than I thought it should. I struggled with it for a while and was talking with a friend who pointed out that I can celebrate whatever the new building may be. I realized I had been living in the past and although the old building had some great memories perhaps there were even better ones to be made with the new one.

Everything is not this easy. When a relationship ends or a loved one dies we can’t, and shouldn’t just move on. Keeping the treasured memories and finding a way to honor them is one way to keep them alive in our hearts. Much like the seed having to crack open and fade away for the plant to develop sometimes the same is true in our life. Without the seed there would have been no plant, but in order for the plant to come to life the seed must have had to go away. As one of my favorite speakers Les Brown says, “sometimes it is hard to see the picture when you are in the frame”. So just know change will come and we must look for the good in the new while keeping the great memories of the past close to our heart.

EMPOWER YOUR LIFE!

Here is your weekend homework. I promise this one will be fun! What are you good at? Last post we looked at what was great about us. Now let’s look at those skills and look at what we do great. I mentioned I enjoy talking to people. What can I do well with that? I can help people who feel lonely. I can use that to inspire people. I listed I love reading and learning new knowledge. What can I do with that? I could read to shut ins, I could read to children, I could share what I learn with people who would like to know.

Ok, so take the list you created yesterday and look at the things that you feel are great about yourself and think about how you can use them. Even if you can’t come up with an answer right now, start thinking about that. Let the thought bounce around your head. Then as you go through your day look for ways to bring what is great about you to the world. This does two very important things. First, it will bring something beautiful to the world. If it is something you are naturally good at, it will shine. People will appreciate you sharing it with them.

Second, it will make your life seem easier. It is naturally what you are good at so while you are working at it you will feel inspired not obligated. You will work harder than something that doesn’t inspire you. You will excel at a rate that will amaze even yourself. By all of this happening you will hear people begin to compliment you. You will be doing something you enjoy so you will have a smile on your face and in your heart. People will pick up on that. You will be sharing your gift with the world and making the world a better place.

So that is this weekends homework. Be on the lookout for ways to use your talents and passions in life. Is it through a side business? Maybe a hobby? In my case I love helping people see the beauty in themselves and the world around them. I do that through this blog, I do it through my first book A Happy Life for Busy People I will continue to do so in my second book. I also realize I can do that while I am working at the post office with my coworkers, while I am DJing as people perform, while I am bartending and serving people cocktails. Here is the greatest thing, while I am doing so I am not only sharing my gift with the world and helping them feel amazing, guess how I feel when I am doing it? That’s right I am feel amazing. It turns any situation into one filled with passion and joy. So find your talents. Find out what is great about you and then find ways to share that with the world. If you need any help with ideas feel free to post here and we will all work together to bring your beauty to the world!

I NEED YOUR HELP!!!

Would you like to play a part in changing the world? What if I told you that to do so would take no more than a click of the mouse? In doing so you will slowly begin to transform our world into one with more joy and peace?

With very little effort you could affect people’s lives across your town and across the world? With actions that take you only a few seconds, you could help save the life of someone suffering from depression or who may feel lost and alone.

Don’t think you can afford to help? This world-changing, life-saving action will not cost you anything other than a few seconds of your time. With those few seconds you can help heal relationships that are faltering, help inspire young people who may have lost their way, or remind our elders how important they are.

What can do all this? The very site you are reading right now! On it you will find some of the best information from leaders in every field, along with inspirational quotes, suggested reads and life-changing strategies. Still, we need help spreading the word about this website and all of its free positive information.

What can to do? Simply ‘share’ this post on your Facebook page, LinkedIn page, twitter feed, or feel free to create your own post about http://www.secret2anamazinglife.com if you would like i will even be happy to send to business cards you can pass out to people you think would enjoy or benefit from the inspirational and motivational information shared here. From Azerbaijan and Brazil to New Zealand and Zimbabwe i will gladly send them anywhere! Please feel free to comment here or send me a personal message. Do not wait, you never know when someone needs you to make their day, or even save their life. Alone we cannot do much, but together we can change the world.

From the bottom of my heart, and on behalf of all the lives we will touch, thank you

STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT

Tonight, or more accurately this morning I told my lovely lady “you should write a book entitled my life with a motivational speaker” some of you may chuckle at that thought, but as I write this it is 3 am and I woke up with a million thoughts for my books, blogs and seminars. I began to rattle them off to her so fast she lovingly just touched my hand and said go write them down. So here I sit typing with one arm because I recently dislocated my shoulder at 3 am in our living room. Why? As my little lady knows because I love the grind. You must want success more than you want sleep. You must want to study more than you want to play on Facebook. Give today your all and watch what tomorrow gives back to you!
A special shout out to my lady for understanding my need to work when inspiration strikes even if it is at 3 am

WHEN TO PLANT A TREE

What does this phrase mean? It is one of the most powerful mantras you can ponder, which is your homework for the weekend.
What do I mean by all of this? Let my explain by way of a personal story. In 2001 i took a course on copywriting from American writers and artists Institute. It was a great course and helped me learn how to write persuasive copy. I took that course because my day job at the post office had become unbearable. Well, a change in location, the job was a bit easier and the copywriting? I never did a thing with it. Why? Two reasons. One, i became more comfortable in my day job and two, I was afraid to start something new and go through the period of looking foolish and being new. Nobody likes that right? Fast forward 14 years. The post office is now claiming i am making up the fact I have asthma and the shoulder I dislocated? Yeah I should be back to work the next day or I would be written up.
So naturally I started kicking myself saying “if only I would have stuck with copywriting and even done it in the side” then I would have been past the foolish stage and had more control over my situation. If only I would’ve planted that tree 20 years ago, or in this case 14. That is where a lot of people may stop. The may become resigned to their fate. If you read yesterday’s post i think you will know that’s not me. No, I’m taking charge of me. The second best time to plant a tree? NOW! So I contacted the school and am going through a refresher. I am more determined than last time and will succeed!
So how about you? Is there a tree you should’ve planted 20 years ago? Go out and start digging today! You might not get to see it grow as tall, but it will never start growing until you plant it!

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