So many times in our lives we can become overwhelmed. A good many of these times is our perception. Inky Johnson, one of my favorite speakers, always says “perspective drives performance” meaning, how we look at things can determine how we act.
We must be careful not to fall in two categories. First, is those who busy themselves with trying to know everything there is and paralyze themselves into inaction. There is a time when you have to go for it!
On the other side of the spectrum, is those who fly into action, or make judgments without having enough information. In order to properly make a decision and come to a conclusion, we must do our best to look at life from as many angles as possible. Hear both sides of the story. Often we find possibilitieswe never thought of or saw! Today try looking at things from a different angle!
It is Monday. This is always a day where many of us struggle. The truth is, it is the beginning of the race. No race is ever lost at the beginning! This is your chance to work hard and set yourself up for the win!
One way to think of Monday is the harder you run at the beginning of the race, the sooner you are to cross the finish line. Earning your weekend starts on Monday. Let us all get after it!
Have you ever thought about how often we think about building our future? When we are young it is almost all we think about. People are constantly asking us, “what are you going to be when you grow up?” Sometimes we even ask ourselves that question. Children can often be heard saying “I can’t wait until I’m 18 and can make my own decisions and live my own life!”
Then what happens? We do grow up. We can make our own decisions and live our own life. Sadly, we often forget, or take for granted, that we have this power. Our thoughts, which when we were young were almost always about building our future, have become almost entirely about surviving our present. How to pay the bills. How to get the kids on school today.
Today let us change that up. Whether you are 18 or 80, you have a future. Devote at least one day a week (Thursday thrive?) To building your life and not just surviving it. Learn something new. Invest in improving yourself. Think, and put into action,things that can improve your relationships.
Let us go back to when we were young. Let us decide again what we want to be when we grow up. That doesn’t have to start when you are 18, and it never has to stop.
Above is the results for a 5K race that I ran last Wednesday. I run this race every year. It is held at the Wisconsin State Fair park. This is one of my favorite places to go. This year, I had open-heart surgery in January. My goal was to come back and finish the race in 30 minutes or less. As you can see, I fell short by 7 minutes. I was disappointed to learn this. My cardiovascular and breathing were just not up to the task. I vented to those that did the race with me. I figured 6 months after surgery would have been enough to get back in shape. I was reminded for the first 4 months after surgery, you are advised to do little, if anything at all. This means that I really only had 2 months to train for this race.
Although this made me feel slightly better, I am still a little disappointed I did not make me goal. Normally, I am the fellow who advises you to find and focus on the positives in a situation. This is true here too. After having my chest sawed in half and a chunk of my heart cut out and replaced (and dying for a brief period of time) I still finished with the same time I did the year prior. It was only 6 months after surgery, and I was told it will take a full year to be back at 100%. Still, I want to keep this feeling of disappointment with me. Why on earth would I want to do that? I want to do what I advise everyone to do in my book Living the Dream. Find a way to use your emotions instead of letting them use you.
In this case, on the days I do not feel like going to the gym, I am going to remember that feeling of disappointment. When I do not feel like eating better, I am going to remember how it felt to struggle as I ran. These feelings will not only serve to keep me on track, but will push me to better myself. That is how to put negative feelings to work for you. Is there something you are disappointed in yourself for? Did you yell at your spouse when they didn’t deserve it? Use that to push you to get a better control of your temper and to find ways to make it up to yourself. Disappointed you didn’t get what you wanted done at home? Use that feeling to get you up and out of bed the next day to tackle the activity you want to accomplish.
So called negative emotions will always be a part of our lives. As we work to limit them, we should also find ways to put them to use for us as well. In that way we turn what used to be a negative into a positive. What are some ways in which you have done this in your own life?
I know, I know. Nobody wants to work on the weekend. You at probably thinking, “Neil, I just put in 40+ hours this week. I deserve a break. ” This is certainly true. What else you deserve is an amazing life. That is why I created this site, secret2anamazinglife.com, to share what I have learned in my 20+ years of research on the subject.
One of the best ways to start enjoying your life more is to stop and appreciate all the little things, as we refer to them. They are actually not little at all. You see the picture of a sunset i took while leaving the movies with Margie the other night. A sunset, a little thing. Yet, we could not recreate it with all the money in the world. It only lasted a few minutes, but is a memory that will last forever. So is the picture below of a wall I was on with my mom.
This weekend, your job is to stop and really appreciate one of the little Miracles in your life. If you would like, share with us what that might be, as I have shared my two with you.
There are so many things in life that we fail to appreciate because they are free. Yet, often these are the things that would affect our life the greatest if they were missing. Can you imagine your life with no laughter? What if you never saw anyone smile ever again?
Please take a second and share what free thing in your life means a lot to you.
Many times, changing the way we view certain things can benefit us greatly. I have often spoke about viewing your life as a business and the benefits that can have. I think this picture above, comparing your brain to a computer, can be very helpful as well. Most of us are guilty of treating our computers better than our brains at times. If you find it hard to find the motivation to read and educate yourself, just think of it as updating your software. This even sounds fun. Imagine telling your friend, “Sorry Bob, I would like to hang out tonight but I am updating my software.” Bob may think you’re crazy, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is a good way to look at filling your mind with healthy and positive material.
How about the discipline to go to bed at a decent hour? You are not getting some sleep, you are recharging the batteries of your super computer brain! Would you run your computer, your phone or your car until it ceases to work, or would you allow time to rest and recharge? What if it was the only phone, computer or car you could ever have in your lifetime? We only get one mind and body, but all to often, we treat these with less care than disposable devices which we can replace.
Cleaning your computer’s hard drive will allow it to run with greater speed and efficiency. The same can be said about the super computer brain you have. How do we clean the hard drive of our minds? Above are three great ideas. Meditate, journal and positive self-talk. Clear out some of the stress and emotion. I also recommend working out and walking in nature.
If you think your super computer brain needs a reboot, try engaging in some of the activities listed above. Viewing our brains as super computers, which they are, can help us evaluate and provide better care for the most important equipment we have. That is the equipment between our own two ears.
This is a mindset I use quite often. There are days, I’m sure we all had them, where you just can’t seem to catch a break. You may be endeavoring to do something really good for yourself and others. There are times when one thing after another goes wrong. You can be left wondering why. Maybe it is because you were meant for greatness in another field.
This can be true in many different areas of your life. Are you working hard at your job but the boss is still a jerk? It could be you should be working elsewhere. Doing your best to be romantic and loving with your partner, but all you ever seem to do is fight? There may be a partner that is more compatible with you out there.
All of these examples are not to say you should think it is the other guy. Check yourself first. Make sure you are doing the best you can, and more importantly, being the best person you can. If so, maybe that is a power greater than ourselves pushing us in a different direction.
The title of this post may sound counter intuitive to most, but that is precisely why it is so important. Doing nothing is often frowned upon. This is especially true in this material driven world we live in. We are made to believe if we are not working away on some chosen project, we are somehow guilty of a modern world sin. This could be housework, physical fitness, grocery shopping or pretty much any goal-driven activity. Even worse, we were told for a while that we should be a great multi tasker. Further research shows this is not only bad for productivity, but can lead to burnout. That is a subject for another post.
Even relaxing has us searching for distraction. We have our Ipods, books,tablets or phones. It feels we have to be doing something even when we are doing nothing. We can’t even relax completely. It is in this world of never ending motion that we find ourselves in a constant state of physical and mental stress burnout. This leads to a loss of productivity. It also suppresses our immune system. This, of course,leads to illness.
What can we get from doing nothing? How on earth can it be productive? So glad you asked. Doing nothing gives our brains a chance to cleanse themselves. It gives our bodies, and our minds, a chance to decompress. This allows us to return to our busy bee life with more energy, and more importantly, more resilience. It gives our immune system a chance to repair and re-energize. This keeps us healthy. It can refresh our spirit. In addition to reducing the likelihood of burnout, it also helps reduce the risk of depression and overwhelming.
As amazing as all of those benefits are, to me, they are not the best thing one can get from doing nothing. My favorite benefit is the creation of great thoughts and ideas. When I wrote my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, I had plenty of time to think. It took me roughly a year. After which, I started writing for several magazines, a food review site, and my blog. All this while working full time at the post office and working as a DJ. Factor in a relationship with the world’s most beautiful woman and my dance card was full.
With six jobs and a great relationship, my second book, Living the Dream, took 5 years to write. The funny thing was that was not due so much to lack of time writing, but lack of time just being. When we are alone with our thoughts, that is when they seem to appear. You can’t call someone if the line is always busy. If it is busy long enough, you stop calling all together.
Leading up to my heart surgery, I wrote like a man possessed. I wanted to get out as much content as possible in case I found myself on the other side of the great divide. I feel the quality suffered. Without time to sit and think, my brain could not come up with any new brilliant ideas. If it did, I was too busy to hear them.
After my surgery, I was forced to take 3 months to do nothing. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t go to the gym. I was instructed to just relax. Guess what happened? Ideas started to come to me all day long. Perhaps they had always been there, but now I was free enough to notice them. My third book was written in 6 short months. (It should be available late July/early August) I also started to think of new ways to improve my life…in all areas.
My favorite thought happened when I began to write. Often, when I sit down at a coffee shop to write, my mind is filled with thoughts that have nothing to do with writing. Most often, those thoughts are of my beautiful Margie. Either I am missing her because we have not seen hardly enough of each other, or I am missing her because I just had some amazing moments with her. Before my surgery, I would try to focus and ‘persevere’. After my surgery, I thought to myself, I’m going to enjoy these thoughts.
What happened next was a miracle. My love for my beautiful woman began to increase exponentially! Just when I thought I could not love her more, a new reason, memory or idea how would pop in my head. I began to think of new ways in which I could both make her happy and improve our relationship. The best part was,once my heart was full of love, the writing just flowed.
I went home to my little miracle more in love and excited to share my life with her than when I had left. All of this was made possible because I took the time to do nothing. Can you imagine the positive impact that had on our relationship? Think of the impact it could have on yours, or any area of your life you stop and think about. Do nothing for a little while today. It might be the most productive thing you do.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 