Tag: inspiration

SHINE ANYWAY!

There are many things in this world that confuse me. One of the greatest is that people are offended and irritated by other people’s happiness. We should celebrate one another’s happiness. There are so many reasons for this, that I cannot imagine why you would not want to do it. Think of going to a restaurant where a stranger is having a birthday party. I have actually heard people complain that singing happy birthday disturbed their dinner. Here is an idea, why not sing along? One, singing along would lift your spirit. Two, can you imagine how it would feel for you to have a total stranger singing Happy Birthday to you? It would just add a little more joy to an already happy occasion. Why rain on someone else’s parade?

Simply, when you celebrate the joys of others, you have more joy to celebrate in life. When you are envious or irritated by the joy of others, you have more in your life to be troubled by. We cannot control what happens in our life, much less the life of others. What we have complete control over is how we react to what happens. If we choose to be irritated, our life will be less enjoyable. If we celebrate every joy we see as if it was our own and feel grateful for all the joy in the world, our life will be filled with more joy and gratitude. Which life would you rather live?

The picture mentions one other important point. That is that this irritation can result from someone who is not quite healed. When you break up it is hard to see other couples loving. It can be as though through their love they are pouring salt on your wounded heart. That is only one way of looking at it. It could also be that they are giving you a picture of hope. That despite your unfortunate experience in the world of love, there is hope that things could work out well in the future and here is an example of how. The same can be true with people who have abundance when we are lacking. Someone with lots of friends when we are lonely. Someone healthy when we are not. It may be that their joy is giving us hope and a reminder that things will not always be tough. When you share in their joy, it often helps you make it through your tough times. When you resent other people’s happiness it not only makes you look like a jerk, but darkens your life even further.

Celebrate the joy in other people’s lives. If someone is irritated by your joy, give them some and do not let it dampen your celebration of life. Those folks are often the ones who need a little love and compassion the most.

MANY PATHS UP THE MOUNTAIN

We touched on this earlier in the week. We are going to take a little deeper dive into the subject today. I want to start with a fitness analogy because it is my belief that physical improvement mirrors self-improvement rather well. If you are a trainer looking to help someone get in shape, your best chance at success is to find an activity that person enjoys. It is not as though only one activity will get you in shape. Some people like running, some people like walking. Some go to the gym. Some work out at home. All of these will help get you in shape. Alas, there are many people who say their way is the best. It might be the best…for them. I think we can all appreciate that there are many different ways to improve our physical fitness. At the end of the day they all lead to better physical health.

If this is so easy to understand with physical fitness, why is it so difficult to understand with religion and politics? Someone can practice a different faith than you and still lead them to a greater sense of peace and connection with their creator. If what they practice helps them become a better version of themselves for their family, community and themselves, who cares if it is different than ours? Same with politics. Yes, we have different beliefs on how things should be run. At the end of the day I think we all want a safe, affordable place to live where we are free to think and be any way that does not harm others. Rather than screaming at each other for being different, why not find ways in which our different approaches lead to the same goal?

This happens even among self-improvement teachers and coaches. “My method works the best!” you will hear someone claim. Maybe it does for them and a select group of others. A different method may work better for others. That is why I listen to many different speakers. You can hear a message many times and it will not resonate with you. Then you hear a person explain it just such a way that it finally clicks with you. Would you waste your time screaming at all the other people that they are wrong, or would you accept that their method may work for people who are different than you? This seems like a commons sense question, but it should be asked more often.

Can you think of examples where there may be different paths to the ‘top of the mountain’ that will all work? Can you think of ways people can work together despite their differences?

STAY CONNECTED AND BRING JOY!

This was the picture on my daily motivational calendar the other day. I apologize for the slightly crooked picture. Take a look at this idea for reasons to stay connected with someone. As an author, I give my full approval. We talk about our favorite movies with others. There are hours spent discussing favorite shows we stream, but what about books? A book is more powerful because it causes us to slow down and use more of our brain and imagination. It also takes a little more time which can prolong the adventure. This can also create a deeper and more exciting conversation with the person who recommended the book.

As an author of three books, nothing frustrates me greater than not hearing what people thought of what I had written. There are countless people who have picked up one or more of my books with a promise to let me know what they thought and nothing. Any feedback not only helps me become a better author in the next book, but gives me motivation to write more knowing how it affects others. So if you have read one or more of my books, feel free to message me your thoughts.

As far as sharing books that you have not written, what a great way that is to learn more about the person who recommended the book. What was it that made them like the book so much? I am a big fan of books by Bill Bryson despite the fact he is not so good at returning correspondence. I would recommend the book, A Walk in the Woods to anyone and everyone. The audiobook is quite amusing as it is read by the author. How to Win Friends and Influence People is my personal favorite. A great guide to being more personal. There are so many others. I have had friends tell me about books, and even series, they enjoy. It has brought countless amounts of joy into my life. I have enjoyed both the books and the conversations we have had about them.

How about you? What are some of your favorite books? What would you recommend to your friends, or favorite author/blogger, to read?

IMPACT YOUR DESTINATION!

Last post I had mentioned that Margie and I were going to depart to visit Green Island Jamaica. Although Jamaica is a place we have visited before, we have never been to this part of the island. When we were looking at everything we had planned this past week we did the usual things. We looked at the resort we were staying at. We thought about where we wanted to eat and the entertainment we wanted to enjoy. Did we want to do an excursion of any kind? What should we pack? This is what may of us do. Those things are all important, but they all revolve around the same principle. What are we going to get from this vacation. That is important to be sure. What many of us never ask is what do I want to give on this vacation.

In life, nobody likes the “What is in it for me?” type of person. We certainly do not want to be that person. Somehow on vacation, often people do not think that way. It could be the fact that you have shelled out much of your hard-earned money to go and be where you are. Maybe that causes an entitled feeling? It is worth remembering that the people helping you are not just doing their jobs, but helping your vacation be as enjoyable as it can be. Many of them cannot afford to take a vacation themselves. Showing them courtesy and appreciation can mean the world to them.

When we travel, we represent more than just ourselves. Think of that. We represent tourists in general. We represent the country we are from. When we were in Jamaica the second time, we happen to stay at a resort with many people from the same state we live in. They were generally entitled and unpleasant to the staff and other people at the resort. So much so Margie and I were tempted to say we were from somewhere else. That is when I realized that we had to be a good example. We went out of our way to learn about the locals we encountered. We treated everyone with dignity and respect. The lady in the first picture with us was Stephanie, a tour guide. We might have been the only people to talk to her and take a picture with her. In the Bahamas, we have the pleasure of meeting and chatting with many workers in different shops we went to. Even befriended a wonderful young lady who explained to Margie how much they needed her baking skills in the country. Still trying to convince Margie a move there would be a good idea.

The point of all of this is that we wanted to have a positive impact on every place we went. I shared my writing with many people and we tried to share smiles and kind words to everyone we met. The great thing about this idea? It does not have to be different countries that you do this in. It can be when you go out to eat, to coffee or to the hardware store. Think of what impact you leave in every place you go. Is it a positive one? Did you leave any impact at all? Be a light of compassion, understanding and positivity wherever you go. Whether that is around the block or around the world. The more you do this, the brighter your world, and the world in general will be.

THE POWER OF WAITING

Today will be my last workday before I leave for Sunny Jamaica on Monday. I thought this picture was funny, but the more I thought about it, there is some inspiration and direction to be found here as well. That flamingo will be me shortly, coconut drink and all. Hopefully I will not be as pink, but I will be laying in a chair just relaxing. Do you know why that is a powerful thing to do in our life?

Have you heard the funny cliche about how most of our good ideas come to us in the shower? Why do you think that is? Do our brains need humidity to function? Does the smell of our shampoo help our brain cells to work more efficiently? While I cannot speak to either of those notions, there is another answer that may surprise us. Taking a shower is one of the few times we give our minds a bit of time off. As technology and the speed of change increase, this becomes even more true. We have a device in our pocket that can occupy our minds no matter where we are. Scrolling videos in line at the grocery store. Checking our social media while conducting our business in the restroom. It would feel many of us lack a moment of sacred silence.

Our minds should be one of our hardest working employees. Through my first 3 books, I show you many tools and strategies to put that employee to work for you. Think of a human employee. If you give a person something to do 24/7, they will break down in a short amount of time. At the very least, they will not be operating at peak efficiency. It is not just being efficient that matters, but being creative too. When you are feeding your mind content that has been created by others, you leave it very little time to create its own. Not to mention, we need time to properly process that content we do assimilate. If not, it becomes a giant tangled mess in our brains. Does that sound familiar to any of us?

Yes, I will be creating content while in Jamaica. Mostly video content is my guess, but there will also be plenty of relaxation and time to enjoy my lovely lady. We both work so hard our time together is either spent brainstorming our creative endeavors or passing out in each other’s arms. Those are both wonderful to be sure, but leave little time for enjoying each other. Plus, who does not want creativity to blossom in their relationships both romantic and otherwise? This can only happen when we give our minds time to come up with those thoughts.

You might not be lucky enough to have a trip to Green Island Jamaica planned, but you can plan and schedule some time with your thoughts. Give your mind time to sort out the millions of bits of information we all digest on a daily basis. I think you will be surprised with things you come up with. Do not rely on the shower and right before you sleep. As a matter of fact, those of us who lay down only to find our minds wake up, display a need to spend this time. Your mind is begging to communicate with you all the time. If you never give it a chance, it will take the only time it has which is usually in the shower or when you are trying to fall asleep. Neither of which is terribly convenient. By scheduling time to unwind we will be able to sleep and shower better!

RITUAL FOR THE WIN!

Last post we talked about protecting yourself from the virus of hate and jealousy. We suggested limiting exposure to the news, social media and negative people. As well as taking a different mindset when dealing with all three. There is another important step you can take to boost your immunity before you encounter any of those. Just like when you take a supplement to protect yourself against a physical virus, there are things you can do to boost your immunity to mental and spiritual viruses. Think of them as mindset supplements.

Take a look at the three categories described above and the wins they say you require. It is a pretty good list. Notice there are several ways to accomplish each. Most people focus on the physical one. That is helpful. Getting that heartrate up is good. It is equally important to protect our minds and our spirits. Have you ever thought about this? More importantly, do you take steps to do this? Admittedly, I need to do better at this myself. One of the benefits in sharing these tools and strategies with all of you is that it provides me a great reminder of areas in which I could use a little work. Most of you know I wake up at 4am and with little time to do much other than the essentials.

Not having a wealth of time is what must people, including myself, use to justify not addressing their mental and spiritual health first thing in the morning. Finding ways in which to both incorporate this into our morning routine, but also make it as easy as possible to do. Looking at the mental category. Reading, writing, creating and learning. The last two might need a little more time than we have in the morning. The first two, however, can be done with less time than we think and offer us a big return. You could have an inspirational book and read for 5 minutes each morning. I have a daily calendar that offers an inspiring quote each day. It takes less than 60 seconds, but plants an inspiring seed in your brain to grow throughout the day. Just a few minutes of journaling in the morning can be helpful. Not enough time? How about writing out your mantra for the day? That creates the mind/body connection before you leave the door!

Spiritual wins can be harder to define, but have a big impact on our lives. Once again we have four suggestions – praying, meditating, studying and growing. Again, the latter two may take a little more time, but praying and meditating can be accomplished in relatively little time. How important would it be to develop a mind and heart full of peace and calm before the world and all the craziness start to invade it? There are a million ways to pray and meditate, but find one that works for you. Spending even just a few minutes doing this will set you up for a much better day than just rushing out the door.

Once we leave the house we are subjected to all sorts of outside influences. People who do not understand the benefit of turn signals, news anchors determined to start our day with fear and hatred. Negative coworkers who would like to share their complaint or the day’s latest gossip. If we throw ourselves into this unprotected, we can find ourselves infected with the negativity virus. Your morning is yours! Use it to serve you before other things start competing for your time.

WIPE OUT THIS VIRUS!

I am not sure if the quote pictured belongs to the great actor portrayed, but the point is still quite a valid one. In today’s world there are plenty of sources that could infect you with the virus of jealousy and hatred. News stories filled with hate and division. Social Media posts describing the life you should have and how far behind in life you are. Buying into either of these or multiple other sources could infect you with these viruses. Let us take a look at three of the biggest sources of contamination and how to protect yourself against them.

First is the news. Understanding a few things when you read the latest hate and fear-filled nonsense they are putting out will go a long way to prevent the infection. One, negative emotions sell. They profit and benefit by you being afraid or inciting division in your heart and thinking. The next thing to understand is that there are not my kinds of people out there. There are just people. Yes, we may have different opinions or ways of looking at the world, but we are all people. Human beings. We share many things in common as different as we may be. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise. It is a ticket to hate and violence.

It would be best to avoid the news as much as you are able. There is a difference of being informed and inundated. Social Media is something that many are addicted to. Blending online life with real life is so important. Here is an important reminder. YOU get to choose what you see on your social media account. Many say that social media is too negative. If that is the case in your world, start by subscribing to things that inspire and bring you joy. There really are pages for everything! Also, keep in mind most people only post their highlights on social media. You see the pictures after the workout, never when they are hyperventilating on the treadmill. Unless of course you follow my page in which you will see a little of both. Everyone has their own unique set of circumstances and experiences. That means we will achieve and succeed at different times. One is not necessarily better than the other.

Last source of infection is something we cannot always avoid, try as we may. That would be other people. In the world there are many sunshine-challenged people as I prefer to call them. It is why I started this website. Sharing the tools for self-improvement that we learn will benefit us all. It can be difficult to not let someone else ruin our day. Therefore, we must make it a point to include as many inspiring sources, as well as inspiring people, in our lives. Is there someone who makes you smile? Send them a message! Better yet, give them a call. Even better, make time to get lunch or a cup of coffee with them.

Following all of these bits of advice will help prevent you from contracting the terrible virus of hate and jealousy. It can even help cure us if we have already been infected. Take a look at the next post for an additional course of action to increase immunity against this virus!

WHO GETS TO LIVE LIKE THIS?

Have you ever had one of those reminders that give you that kick in the butt you need? We all can fall victim of some less than empowering thinking. On my way to write today i was lamenting that the sun was not shining and I was feeling tired and a little less than inspired. Then a song came on the radio that changed everything.

The song was Who Gets to Live Like This,by Jimmy Buffett. In the song, Jimmy describes his life and how grateful he is for it. Living in the beach, the mail, and money, come by boat. He just has to relax and write songs. Swap ‘songs’ for ‘books’ and that would be the life for me!

I almost fell into the trap of thinking of how far away from this life I was. I live in a climate that is anything but tropical. I must get up at 4am to go to a day job. Then I thought about a post I had recently written explaining how we should be grateful for the blessings we have and the troubles we don’t.

Suddenly, my thinking began to shift to what was amazing about my situation. This morning I woke up and had a cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee. Which is my favorite. I had some breakfast my thoughtful sister brought me. I was able to share both of those with a beautiful lady who happens to be marrying me. Yes, I have to go to a job, but it is only 5 days a week and allows me to pursue my passion.

We often need these reminders. Even those of us well-versed in the field of self-improvement. Here is the quandary and the solution. What do we do when we don’t have an inspiring song come on the radio? We must craft and schedule tools of strategies that inspire us! Develop morning rituals that empower us. Leave the house inspired and grateful! What tools and strategies can you think of that would do this? Share your ideas with the rest of us!

IT IS NOT HOW POWERFUL YOU ARE…

One of the many great tragedies in life is how often we ask children what they want to be, verses how often we ask adults, including ourself, that very same question. There are far too many of us working hard to just make it through the day. We have no lofty goal, no aspiration greater than ourselves. Then we wake up and wonder why we feel so overwhelmed and that our life is meaningless. You want a more meaningful life? Than choose what meaning you are going to give. Decide on the purpose of your life.

We all work far too hard to not give it direction. Imagine getting in your car with no idea where you wanted to go. Would it matter how fast you drove? Of course not. If you have a clear idea where you wanted to go, than no matter the speed, you would be getting ever closer. Even if you encountered a detour in the road, you would still no what direction to go in order to correct the course. If you didn’t, you might think a closed road would be the end of the journey. Life is much the same. If you have a clear purpose and direction for you life, a challenge is a mere course correction, not an end.

Spend a few quality minutes deciding on the purpose and direction for your life. Whenever this subject comes up, I always get the same question, “What if I pick the wrong purpose?” To that question, I will give you two answers. First, you can change your purpose in life and adjust accordingly. When I was very little I wanted to be a whale. Obviously after some learning about biology my answer changed. I have been in a rock band. I have been a bartender. Now I am an author working on my fourth book. If you would have asked the child who was short on his interspecies transformation if he wanted to be an author, he would have said ‘No!’. If you would have asked the rock singer and bartender the same question, neither would have jumped at the chance. As the years have gone by, I have changed and refined the purpose of my life.

Which leads to the second point, you will find out a lot sooner if your purpose no longer aligns with you life if you have one! Not picking a purpose because you are afraid of picking the wrong one makes no sense. It is like skipping an audition because you might not get the part. By not even going you will not fail, but you will also never succeed. You will also feel overwhelmed and like your life has no meaning. Pick a purpose, put your entire actions behind it and see where it goes. If it is not what you hoped, adjust accordingly.

TAYLOR SWIFT DILEMMA

We live in what can only be described as a very unusual time. Maybe the years I have been alive are starting to creep up on me. Before I become the man who yells, “Stay off my lawn!” I want to reflect on something that I find both amusing and perplexing.

At times, it seems there is a new celebrity in the headlines every day. Some for good things, most for things they would rather not be known for. A situation seems to happen time after time. When someone is an up and coming star, the world cheers for them. Once they achieve a certain amount of fame, people look to tear them down. This may not be new to the times, but with the advent of new technologies, it seems to be happening quicker and more intensely than ever. Keeping this in mind, there are some things that we ask of celebrities that are almost unfair.

We are going to use Taylor Swift for an example as I do not think anyone has more followers or influence than her right now. Taylor Swift is primarily a singer and performer. When major world issues outside of music come up, people are asking why she does not use her fame and influence to weigh in on those issues. This creates an interesting dilemma. On the one hand, using your fame for a purpose greater than material gain should be admirable. On the other side will be people telling her to “Stay in her lane.” Both of these hold some merit. There is a motivational speaker I listen to. He is a psychologist and has some insightful thoughts on the human mind and how it works. He often strays into more political issues and environmental sciences and ends up sounding like a fool.

What should we expect celebrities to do? More to the point, what should we do with the influence we have? First, we should understand that we are offering an opinion. We may not have all the facts and must consider everyone’s unique experiences and circumstances. Second, we should, as Bob Marley says in the photo above, make sure our intentions are pure. If we make a mistake we should admit it. If someone else does, we should offer them a little bit of grace. This is especially so if their intentions were pure.

Next time you are tempted to weigh in on an issue, stop to think of this. We may not have millions of followers or the press reporting our every move, but we should act like we do. Be responsible with our words and actions. When we hear an opinion we may not agree with, give that person a little understanding and compassion. We would want them to do the same for us.