One of my favorite speakers is Inky Johnson. He often says that perception drives performance. Here is one example that came to mind – vanity. There are so many of us that use vanity as an excuse. I am too old to do this. I am not fit enough to do this. I am not smart enough to do this. It can prevent us from taking the steps we need to improve our life and give us the life we have been dreaming of. We must realize that what others think of us will never be more important than an opportunity to improve our own life. As the saying goes, “What you think about me is none of my business.”
That speaks to the first half of the picture above. The second half speaks to using vanity to push you to improve your life. Realizing that learning, working out or other things that may cause us to look foolish or lacking in the present may be necessary to improve our life in the future. Would you risk looking silly being the oldest person at the gym? As a 50-year-old that regularly hyperventilates on the treadmill, I can attest to this.If you let the fear of being the oldest person at the gym keep you from getting in shape, you might be forced with being comfortable being the youngest person at the nursing home.
This does not only go for fitness. It is true in learning as well. When we are first starting to learn something we often look foolish. If we are willing to suffer that lack of vanity, we will acquire the skills that will help us look, and be, intelligent in the long-run. Meditation is another arena that this is true. First starting out can seem foolish. Once we master it the benefits are insane.
Vanity, like many other aspects of life, can be a tool or an excuse. It all depends on your perspective. The same can be true of regret, fear and a million other emotions and conditions. It is our mindset and our attitude at the beginning of a task that has the greatest impact on its outcome. To quote Inky Johnson, “Our perspective will drive our performance.”
I like this question because it really makes us think. Are you confusing the two? Ok, that is a lot of questions. Let us take them one at a time. When we fail it is a verb. It is something we are doing. Therefore, we can continue to do it, or we can change. It is like when you hear people say, “I always am late.” or “I always start things and never finish them.” No, you always have been late. You have started things and not finished them. If you are not dead yet, and sense you are reading this I am going to assume you are not, then you have a chance to change. Let us not confuse an action with an identity. An action is something we do (verb) an identity is something we are (noun)
Many of us think of ourselves as failures because we have failed at certain things. This only becomes true if we have thrown in the towel on life and on chasing our dreams. Maybe you have even been a failure at something up to this point. I used to be a failure at being a good man. Relationships were not always my strong point. Now, I teach others on how to be an amazing friend and lover. How? I grew tired of the frustration of failing and realized it could drive me but it did not have to define me. I faced what I was failing at, and made it a point to turn it around. This didn’t happen overnight and it sure as hell was not a linear process. In fact, it is a lifetime journey of learning and practicing. Sometimes I still “fail” at being a good friend and lover, but I am no longer a “failure” in these aspects.
Let us take a look at the most storied example of this. Thomas Edison. Depending on what numbers you get, he either failed 1000 to 10,000 times to invent the light bulb before he got it right. How many times have you tried something more than 10 times before you gave up? I know that number is not too many for yours truly. He didn’t. He kept failing, but he never saw himself as a failure. At one point even telling a reporter, “I have not failed 10,000 times. I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways it will not work.” This represents the importance of our perception. Inky Johnson, one of my favorite speakers, has a quote that states, “Perception will always drive performance.” If Edison had perceived himself as a failure, do you think he would have continued to try? Of course we know the answer to that question would be ‘no’. How about you? Do you recognize that fail means “First attempt in learning?”
Remember to see failing as a verb in your life. It is actions, ones you can change. You are not a failure unless you decide to be. You can fail 1000 times such as Edison did and still come out victorious. It happened with the light bulb, why can’t it happen in your life? The antidote to failure is perseverance. I put that last line in italics because I wanted you to get it. As long as you are still working, you are not a failure. As long as you are willing to keep working until it works, you are not a failure. It may take encouragement. It may take inspiration. Do whatever it takes to keep fail as a verb and not a noun in your life.
Recently, Margie and I attended a wonderful graduation party. I did not know anyone there. As we took our seats, I found myself next to a woman who was several years my senior. She began to talk openly with me from the very first second. Not only was she one of the sweetest souls I have encountered, we discovered many things we had in common. We both enjoyed the Wisconsin State Fair immensely. We also both enjoy reading and began to share some of our favorite books. As so often happens, this took us to sharing our philosophy on life. We came to many common conclusions. One, more than the rest, seemed to stand out to me and I would like to share it with you today.
There are a few things in life, that when we pay proper attention to them, can impact nearly every area of our life. With just one simple tweak to these areas, we can radically transform how we experience our time on this planet. One that I think everyone may overlook, or that the very least take for granted, is our perception. What I mean by that is the meaning we give every situation in life. Inky Johnson, one of my favorite speakers, puts it this way, “Perception drives performance every day of the week.” meaning how you view what you do, will determine how you do what you do. Feel free to slowly read that last line again. This may be hard to follow and even harder to believe, but I am going to give you a few examples that really drive the point home.
One of the books we both thought had a powerful impact on our lives was this one. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Viktor was a phycologist who was a prisoner in a concentration camp during World War II. To read what this man went through is enough to break your heart. How he managed to make it through was by finding a positive purpose in that journey and immersing himself in it. When I reach a challenging point in my life, I think of a man who was able to make it through one of the most hellish circumstances that a man can be put through. If he could make it through that, how am I to complain about car trouble, or not seeing eye to eye with a friend. Yes, those both can be frustrating situations, but when compared to surviving a death camp, it feels a little foolish to become to upset about them.
I mentioned Inky Johnson earlier. Inky was a football player who was only games away from being drafted into the National Football League. During that game, he made a tackle and through no fault of anyone, lost use of his right arm and hand. He was planning to help his family put and end to generational poverty but was now facing a dilemma of how he could support himself, much less anyone else. To have a dream you have chased since you were 7 years old crushed right before it was about to happen would be soul-crushing enough. To have it happen right after you inform your family you are going to be able to lift them out of a state of poverty would be more than most of us could handle.
Through his faith, Inky understood that he was being redirected. He is now one of the top motivational speakers in the world, and as you can see in the photo above, an author as well. He not only has earned a fair sum and has a career that will outlast any he may have had on the football field, he has also changed and positively impacted countless lives. This is a reward he would not have had if he had not been injured and, more to the point, if he had given up. His accent on why he did what he did, allowed him to continue to push forward and not give up. His perception did truly drive his performance.
What we believe about life and how we view life, will go a long way in determining how we live our life. If we view every obstacle as proof our life was not meant to succeed, then that is what shall be. We will live feeling defeated and beaten down. If we view them as life providing us opportunities to grow stronger, then we will feel as if we are growing with each obstacle we face. The same thing can be said for ‘Failure’. Some of us may view it as a defeat. Others may view it as a stepping stone to success. You can imagine both viewpoints would lead to not only a different emotional state, but different actions being taken. I suggest you not only get your hands on a copy of Viktor Frankl’s book, but take a hard look at your perception of life and how it is impacting the way you live.
Inky Johnson is one of my favorite speakers. If you have never heard of him, I would highly suggest you look him up on YouTube and watch his story. It will bring out the emotions in you. One thing he said was “Perspective drives performance every day of the week.” What does that mean? He further expands on it by saying, “Why you do what you do will determine how you do what you do.”If we reflect in our own life, I am sure we know this to be true.
Take your job for example. When you think of going to work in the morning, does an image like the one above come to mind? If so, I can tell you what your work day must feel like. Have you ever asked yourself, “Why do I go to work in the morning?” Before you answer make sure you are not asking yourself, “Why do I have to go to work in the morning?” Most of us live in a country where we don’t have to go to work. It is a choice. Of course, if we choose not to, there are some consequences that go with that. Just small things like no heat or no eat. If you just go to work to pay bills, chances are you will keep feeling like the photo above. Your job will seem like a prison sentence. Although, it must be reminded, one you can free yourself from at any moment.
It is better to have something you are working towards. For example, maybe you are saving for that next wonderful vacation? The picture above was taken at the Riu Negril in Jamaica where Margie and I were last month. The staff and hotel management were amazing and we had a great time creating memories and meeting new friends. Whether your dream is a new car, a vacation, a new outfit or a million other things, a goal could transform that sentence into an opportunity. Yet, there is one goal that I recommend above any others.
Here is the fickle thing about material goals – they can shift or disappear all together. Margie and I had been going on vacation for the last 5 years. There was a hurricane one year, the pandemic, my open-heart surgery another year and well…you get the picture. Sometimes that new car is not enough to keep you motivated to get to the office. I will tell you what is though. Focusing on who you want to become. Knowing what the process will bring to the table. I work roughly 50 hours a week just at my day job. I work Monday through Saturday. I DJ with Margie on Sunday. For those keeping track, that is zero days off. It can be extremely difficult to stay motivated. Especially, getting up at 4am to start everyday. What does is the knowledge that I am setting a good example. I am demonstrating to the love of my life that she has a man that will work hard so we can enjoy the finer things in life. I am showing my readers that there is time to put in a full-time job and still pursue your passion. Most importantly, I am showing myself that I can be a self-disciplined man who will embody the values he puts forth to others.
Having a ‘why’ in our life will make everything easier. Like Inky said, “prospective drives performance.” We used the example of our job, but imagine putting this in place in…say…your relationship? Why put forth effort there? Personally speaking, I put forth maximum effort in my relationship for several reasons. Margie deserves nothing less. She deserves to know how much she is loved and valued. By treating their mother with respect, I am hoping to set a good example for her children to follow in their own lives. Again, I also have a moral responsibility to represent the values I teach others. Who follows anyone who is an example of “Do what I say and not what I do.”? What is your ‘why’? Does it represent the values you hold dear?
Here is a fun activity that will add some joy to your life! (Just in case you didn’t get that from the title) it will take anywhere from 5 minutes to as long as you care to take. When you are done, you will not only have a bigger smile on your face, you will have a heart filled with gratitude! Did I mention it is fun to do as well?😀
Grab a pen and a piece of paper 📃. Then, take a look at the list above. Write the word listed, one at a time. ‘The inspired’ being the first one. Then sit back, smile, and think of everyone in your life that fits that description. For example, in my life, Margie is very inspired. Always thinking of new ideas. When I need help with a flyer for a book signing, I go to her.
Continue to go through the list. One word at a time. List everyone in your life that fits that description. Take your time. Picture them in your mind’s eye and write their name down. Another example in my own life, under ‘open-minded’ I would put my friend Nick. He is always open to consider new people and their points of view.
Go through each word and come up with as many names as you can. When you are done, you will have a list of people who bring out some great qualities you may need a boost in. You will also have a new-found appreciation for the amazing people in your life!😀
BONUS!!! If you want to take this to the next level, and because you read a blog like this I assume you would, here is a little something you can add. Think of qualities you either would like to grow, or maybe ones you lack. Then, write those words down. It could be patience, inner peace, kindness or any other quality. Then, do what we did here. Write all the names of people in your life that have that quality. You will end up with a list of people you should spend more time with!
DOUBLE BONUS!!! As another way to help develop and surround yourself with the right people and attitudes, apply these same techniques to celebrities. When you discover what celebrities define ‘motivated’ to use an example from the picture above, (that would be Inky Johnson and Dwayne Johnson for me) write their names down. Then you can watch their videos on YouTube, listen to their podcasts or read their books.
I would love to hear some examples from your life of people who fit the descriptions above. Please let me know how this fun activity will help your life. 😀
Here we go! The last day of the year. As we look forward to the new year, many of us will make resolutions and think about what goals we would like to accomplish in the next 365 days. That is good. I would like to encourage that. Looking to improve yourself is always something to strive for. This year, I would like you to contemplate something new. This was brought to me by doing something that I have told you about earlier this year. I heard it while listening to some daily motivational and inspirational videos.
The message came from Inky Johnson, the man pictured above. In case you haven’t read any of my previous posts about him, allow me to provide you a quick explanation. Inky Johnson was a stand out college football player. He was projected to be an early first-round pick and an instant millionaire. He came from a very poor family and was looking forward to being able to help them move to a better location. Only a few games before being drafted, Inky suffered a hit that ended up costing him the use of his right arm and the ability to ever play football again. In one play, all of the years of hard work and dreams of being able to help his family were taken away from him. That would be enough to break most people. Not Inky Johnson. When the doctors told him that he would never be able to use his arm again, he politely corrected them. “I am going to use this arm every day.” was his response. Inky has went on to be one of the most powerful speakers and motivators. He uses his story to inspire those that he speaks to.
When someone like that speaks, I tend to listen. What about all of those years of discipline and hard work that seemed to be for nothing? He has an answer for that too. He said something in this video that really stuck with me. He said if you want long-term success, you should eliminate the outcome. This sounds very counterintuitive, but considering who was speaking, I listened. He explained if you tie your efforts to an outcome, you will never be successful. The outcome, he said, can be taken away from you. I think he knows a thing or two about that. It doesn’t have to be as extreme as his situation. You could have been a great employee for years at your company and then they have to downsize or go out of business. You could work on being a great spouse, and your lover could leave you.
What is the point here? Don’t have any goals? Don’t chase any dreams? Not at all. What Inky said next in the video really made sense. He asked, “What is more important? What you get or who you become?” You see my friends, what you get can always be taken away from you, but who you become is yours forever. If your goal is to get in shape for that class reunion, that is good, but what if it gets canceled? How about getting in shape because you want to give your children someone they can be proud of? How about becoming someone who can be proud of themselves?
When we are setting our goals for the coming year, let us focus on who we want to become and not just what we hope to obtain. Ask yourself, who do you want to be in the coming year?
Strive to be a servant? What kind of goal is that? It is a great goal actually. Recently, I was listening to a video by Inky Johnson. If you do not know who he is I urge you to look him up and give a listen. In this video he said two things that really struck me.
The first involved a game in which his dreams for a NFL future were dashed. Inky was projected to be a first round pick and had dreams of taking care of his family. With one tackle he lost the use of one arm and thus the ability to play professional football. While being carted off the field he asked the doctors to raise his arm for him. He said he wanted to reassure the supporters. What really struck me was why he chose that particular word. He said he did not like the word ‘fans’ because these people paid to see him play and they supported him. I began to think about all the people who purchased my book. Then I began to think about all of those who read, comment and share my blogs. Although not financial, this support means the world to me. Without an audience writing becomes nothing but a self-indulgent fantasy.
The second point he made was how he is referred to now. He mentioned some people refer to him as a ‘motivational speaker’. He referred to himself as a servant. He said if we are blessed with gifts that sharing them and using them to serve our fellow man is what it is all about. That brought to mind two quotes many of us know “With great power comes great responsibility” and a quote from Einstein. One of the smartest people who has ever lived was asked, “Why are we here?” His answer without a moment of thought was “We are here for the sake of others.” His efforts to better the universe and to solve what some thought were unsolvable problems were for the sake of others. To make the world a better place for everyone.
Think of what your gift is? How can you use it to serve your fellow humans, or animals for that matter? Using your gift to serve others is what life is all about.
This man is Inky Johnson. I highly recommend you look up his story, but I will give you a brief outline here. Inky was born into challenging situations to say the least. A very poor neighborhood, 16 people living in a two bedroom house. He had to sleep on the floor. Once a week he got to sleep in a bed…with 5 others. He was surrounded by family and friends going in and out of prison. Truly a recipe for disaster.
Inky decided to take a different path. At the age of 7, with some help from a coach, he decided he was going to play professional football. He practiced every day. Often running light pole to light pole with no shoes on. Eventually he received a scholarship to the University of Tennessee. With 8 games to go he was told he was going to be a first round pick. Imagine being told finally you will be able to erase generations of hurt, pain and financial suffering for your family. He immediately called his mother and grandmother to inform them they would no longer have to live in poverty.
Two games later while making a tackle that all changed. Inky felt like he had the wind knocked out of him. He woke up in the hospital where he was told he had to be rushed into surgery or he would die. Waking up from that the doctor said he had some bad news. Considering he was still alive, Inky was confused. The doctor explained he had sustained nerve damage and would no longer be able to play football again. Imagine being that close to helping your family, having worked all your life, never cheated and it is stolen away in one play.
The reality of what he was left to deal with sank in when the doctor informed him “Son, you will never be able to use your arm again. You will never be able to use your hand again.” Inky’s reply?  “No disrespect sir, but I am going to use this arm and hand everyday. I am going to use it to inspire people. I am going to use it to help people not give up.” Today Inky Johnson is a motivational speaker and has several videos on YouTube.
When I heard that I had to fight back tears. Wow. I pray that I would be able to see things that way. Which is ironic, because that is what I am challenging all of us, myself included, to do here today. We have all had pain in our lives. Most of us not to the magnitude of the story above, some even worse. My question to you is this, what are you going to do with that pain? My answer is this, you went through the pain, put it to use for you. Use what you have went through to inspire and push you. Use it to motivate and give hope to others. DO NOT WASTE YOUR PAIN.
Maybe someone broke your heart? Use it to not only motivate you to make your next relationship your best relationship, but to help those who are also heartbroken. You lost your job? Use that as a tool to motivate you to chase a job you would enjoy. Do so while maybe helping at a meal program helping those who are in an even tougher situation. Turn your pain from a liability into an asset.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 