Tag: hope

HAMBURGER AND A HAND GUN…WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

Have you ever felt that the world is going to hell in a hand basket faster than you can believe? Have you ever looked around and the senseless violence in the world and feel completely helpless? What can one person ever begin to hope to do? I want to share a story with you that started me thinking about this. Do not get discouraged. Stick with me and we will look at the answer as to what we can do.

Above is a picture of a local hamburger chain. It is actually where I started my life of employment. Not this exact location, but same company. The food is not the best. The prices really are not either. What makes this place stand out is that it is open 24 hours. Many people visit after a night on the town to help them sober up or continue the party. The story we are about to share is neither of those.

A young lady had come in with her boyfriend one evening. They sat down and ordered some food. Apparently, the food was not coming as quickly as she had desired. This seems to happen a lot these days. Many places are short on help and the help they have is often not dedicated to the needs of the customer. This lady’s solution was to begin throwing things at the employees. I am not sure if this was packets of sugar or cups and silverware. Not the best move if you are hoping for quicker service. The employees began to throw things back at her. Again, not the best option even if the other party had started it. What did our friend do after that? She went to her car and got a gun. Yes, a gun. She came in and shot one of the employees. Fortunately, she was not well versed in the use of a hand gun and the magazine with the ammo fell out. Next she grabbed another employee, put the gun to their head and pulled the trigger…several times. Again, gratefully the bullets had fallen out of the gun.

When I read this story my mind was blown. This lady attempted to end the lives of two people, and pretty much threw away the rest of hers. Why? Because her greasy hamburger was running late. In what world does this make any sense? It was one meal. You eat three a day. You have almost 1,100 in a year. If one does not go to your liking you kill several people? It wasn’t even a good meal! Not that any meal is worth violence.

When we hear a story like this, we can ask many questions. “What is wrong with people?” “What is wrong with the world?” These are legitimate questions. It may also leave you feeling helpless. One person can’t fix the world. Can they? The answer is both yes and no. No person can wave a magic wand and make the world more kind and compassionate. Still, we have more power than we know. Yes, we can vote for change, but there is so much more we can do on a personal level.

One of the best ways to change the world is to change your little corner of it. What I mean by that is to lead by example. In this case, be kind and understanding when food is running late. Complaining will rarely, if ever, make it come quicker. My mother and I waited 30 minutes for a cup of coffee with our dinner the other day. Realize some things are beyond your control. Be a good example to those around you. Treat others with kindness and compassion. Also, do not get too fixed on the news. This story I read about online. There were many more just like it. Here is the thing you rarely read about – good things. They just don’t sell. Just because they don’t sell does not mean they do not happen. The more you read in the news, the more you will believe the sky is falling. Try reading something motivational every day. Create some balance.

Do not forget your power when it seems the world is falling to pieces. You can change the lives of everyone you come in contact with. Love, gratitude and appreciation can transform more lives than you could possibly imagine. Do not let the media convince you the world is as bad as they make it out to be. Look for examples of the good in humanity and the world. If you don’t find as many as you like, be one.

1 AT A TIME ☝️

What an important reminder. We know there are things in our lives that we need to change. We look in the mirror and see a little too much of us to love. We open our mouth and everything that comes out is not necessarily kind and encouraging. Our bank account seems to have the decimal point in the wrong place. These can all seem like tall orders to tackle. How do we transform our physique? How do we remember to speak life and hope to others? How can we turn around our finances?

Here is the important thing to consider, these issues did not occur in a day and so it may take some time to turn them around. Do not let that discourage you. Quite the opposite. I am guilty of this myself. We look at how long it may take to achieve the end state and give up before we begin. It is so vital to remember all of the small wins you will experience along the way. You cannot solve the problem in one day, but you can begin to turn things around. Introduce one healthy meal or snack into your diet. Go for a walk after dinner. Share one genuine compliment a day. Start an automatic savings plan. All of these may not seem like much at the time, but they will grow into success.

Perhaps the most important thing is to keep yourself inspired. It can seem overwhelming when things may not seem to be happening at the rate you had planned, or maybe even take a step back. It is important to keep a source of inspiration nearby. Perhaps reading this blog every day. Keep those little reminders present because there will still be times life seems overwhelming, and you need to be reminded… one at a time.

DEFEAT IS A STATE OF MIND 🧠

Mr. Lee has given us some great thoughts to ponder in his lifetime. This might be one of the best. When we are defeated, that means we have given up. We have waved the white flag. There are times that all of us have felt this way. You have a day, week, or even longer, were you seem to have one thing after another go wrong. I have been there. I think we all have. If you stop and think about it, as long as we are willing to persevere, we are never defeated. Yes, we may be down and out on our luck, but we are not defeated so long as we are willing to get back up and try again.

Next time you feel like a problem has knocked you to the ground, try to keep this thought in mind. It might not be a bad idea to print it out and hang in on the bathroom mirror. Especially when you are having one of those runs of bad luck. Then you can confidently say to yourself, “This problem has knocked me down, but it has not defeated me as long as I am still trying.” There is honor in not giving up. If nobody else tell you, we are proud of you and the community at Secret2anamazinglife is proud of you.

Next time you are feeling defeated, just remember this quote from our good friend Bruce. Stand up straight and say to yourself, “Even though I am feeling defeated, I will not be defeated until I stop trying.” Refuse to let life’s challenges get the best of you! You got this!

REMEMBER WHAT IS POSSIBLE 🌻

This may sound like something that could never happen. In today’s world of the division and hate perpetuated by media, this may sound like a fantasy. It is not. People who are different from each other not only can get together, but they should.

We learn so much more by expanding our horizons. We could learn a new way of cooking or a new recipe. We could discover a new type of music. All the things we learn could give us a new perspective on the world.

Appreciate those who are different from you today without judging them. Watch your world expand and grow.

YOU JUST MIGHT BE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MIRACLE 🙏

Have you ever been in a situation where you seem like you just can’t take any more? We all have. You are hoping for that miracle. It could be to land that job, to win the affection of that certain someone. It might be you are wishing for a miracle healing for yourself, or a loved one. Then, the job goes to someone else. The person you like ends up having feelings for the other gender. The doctor report comes back with more bad news. It can leave you with a feeling of hopelessness. You may find yourself asking questions like, “Why me?” You have been an upstanding individual. You have been treating everyone with kindness. Why is life so difficult for you. In some cases, you may even look at the good fortune of those who you feel may not be as enlightened as yourself and wonder how fair the universe is really being.

Sometimes we are delivered from the fires of life. That is easy to recognize as a miracle. When things go how we want them to, and when we want them to, it is indeed a miracle. If things always happened this way, we would have a life of ease. This may sound like quite the miracle, but it would make us one weak person. When we feel like instead of being delivered from the fire, we are being thrown in it, we might just being fireproofed. It is rarely fun, but resistance builds strength. This is as true in life as it is in the gym. When we go through the fires of life, we are being forged into a stronger and more resilient version of ourselves.

In life, we all want the quick miracle, the quick fix. We want the job. We want the love and the healing. When we don’t get it, we cease to believe in miracles. Worse yet, many of us begin to view the world as a cruel place. This can be very dangerous. Albert Einstein, one of the smartest people to exist, was asked what the most important question to ask was. His answer? “Is the Universe a friendly place?” The reason this is so important is because it will dictate our attitude and actions towards living our life. Shakespeare, a rather brilliant writer, also weighed in on the subject saying, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” In other words, it is more about how we look at the situation than the fact themselves that determine if it is good or bad.

IF IT’S NOT OKAY, IT’S NOT THE END

Here is an important idea to remember. Things will be okay. This can be hard to accept or believe when we are facing difficult times. There are a million challenges that come to mind that can really try our resolve. Can you think of ones in your past that fit this description? For me, there are several that come to mind. My open-heart surgery and following trip to the hospital. People we care deeply for passing away. Car accidents, job losses. We have all had our share of very serious challenges, have we not?

Here is something to consider, you are reading this. Whatever challenge tried, and may have succeeded, in knocking you down, you are still here. Your record for facing challenges and to keep moving forward is 100%. We all have scars, we may have some pain, be it physical or emotional, that we carry with us, but we are here. That pain, and those challenges, often allow us to better relate to and comfort others going through something similar. It can give us a good story to share with and help inspire others. It can give us motivation that we have overcome a challenge. Eventually, and it may take a good amount of time, everything will be okay. Know that. Trust in that.

HAPPY NEW YEAR. TIME TO IGNITE! 🔥

Happy New Year to all of our family at secret2anamazinglife.com! As we all begin our journey into 2024, let us ignite a fire that will burn in our soul. Let us fan the flames of hope, love and resilience! Let us fill and strengthen both our spirit, and those around us.

Share what you are going to do to help you burn bright this year and show the wonderful light that is you.

GLIMMER YOURSELF 😧

You hear a lot of people discussing their triggers these days. Things that can set them down the spiraling path of sadness, depression or anger. Maybe it is something that reminds them of a past trauma they still have not healed from. Perhaps it is just an issue they are emotionally attached to? Usually, it is something that may seem innocent or harmless enough to the rest of us. I think Tony Robbins described it best. If someone would walk by and brush your arm, you may find them a bit overly friendly, but beyond that not much harm done. Now, if you had a open wound on that arm, and someone even lightly touched it, you would jump to the ceiling. Triggers are like emotional wounds. Until they heal, they are very sensitive. Unlike physical ones, they cannot be seen. It is important to understand what yours might be for two very important reasons. First, to avoid, as much as possible, putting yourself in situations that might contain a trigger. Second, when you know what your trigger is, you can begin to address and heal from it. Although that can be emotionally tough, it can limit the amount of anguish you will have to go through in the future.

Most people seem to have vast knowledge of things that trigger them or bring them down. Again, probably good, as you want to avoid those if you can. Equally, if not more important, is knowing what makes you happy and feel that inner joy. Here is why this is more important. When you are avoiding what makes you upset, you are not necessarily doing something that makes you happy. However, when you are doing something that makes you happy, you are certainly not doing something that makes you sad.

This also makes use of a principle that I refer to often. It is far easier, from a psychological standpoint, to add something to your life than to remove or sacrifice something. That is why people have such a hard time with diets. They feel like they are depriving themselves of what they want. Do you know what would happen if they just focused on adding healthy food to their diet? They would have less room to eat the junk food. By adding something positive, they would, by default, be limiting the negative. This works for many things in life. Want to see less negative things on social media? Start interacting with more positive things. You feed will be filled up with things that inspire and motivate you. Therefore, there will be less room for all the doom and gloom.

That is why I like the idea of ‘glimmers’ so much. I suggest making a list of what you consider a glimmer. In fact, it would be best to do this with a friend, family member or coworker. Someone you see on a regular basis. Tell them about what you learned about glimmers today. When you experience one while you are around them, say “That is a glimmer!” Share with each other what are glimmers to each of you. Get in the habit of discussing and talking about glimmers. We know what we give our energy to, tends to expand in our life. Why not give our energy to things that bring us joy instead of fearing or avoiding things that might bring us emotional pain?

Start noticing ‘Glimmers’ today. They will add joy to your life and fill your spirit. Find yourself a ‘Glimmer buddy’ to share what lifts you up and makes you feel safe, warm and content. Let us take the focus off of what we fear and put it on what helps us gain hope.

IT IS TIME TO BE A FARMER!🚜🐖👨‍🌾👩‍🌾

My second conversation from my off day (if you missed the first, please check out last post it was amazing) occurred between my coworker Kelly and myself. Kelly was sharing how hard she works at sharing the journey and struggles of her sobriety with those who need it most. This can often be a very difficult path. When someone is dealing with the demons of addiction, it can be difficult to both admit and face. Those who have been through it themselves know that better than anyone. They know both the pain and fight that occurs every day, as well as the joy, health, and positive things that come out on the other side of fighting addiction.

When you offer someone a warning that their life is headed down the wrong path, even if done with great love, concern and tact, that person will often get defensive and the situation can turn downright ugly. This is not only true for addiction, but those in abusive relationships, those with self-destructive behaviors and a host of other issues that can ruin lives. When you are faced with a choice to say something and risk losing that relationship, or saying nothing and, by default, enabling their behavior, which of those you choose is up to you. My thinking is this. Kelly was being told by others not to mention anything. Even being asked, “How many lives have you actually changed by saying something?” Here is my thought on that. Which of these situations would you rather find yourself in? You say nothing, keep this person ‘happy’ and they end up in jail, or even dead. The second case is you tell them the hard truth, offer them not only tough love, but support, and they never speak to you and still end up self-destructing. Personally, I would want to know I did all I could.

I love this quote from one of my favorite poets. It reminds me of the second part of the conversation between Kelly and I. Understandably, she was really thinking about what she was told about how, despite all of her passionate and caring efforts, it seemed that it was having little results. I shared a story with her. Quite often, as a writer committed to helping people see the beauty and importance of their lives, I feel like I am falling short. Days, weeks and even months can go by without even a comment on some of the information and thoughts I share. My mission to leave the world a better place than I found it, can seem daunting at best. If I mistakenly turn on the news and see all of the hate and violence, it can feel like I am bringing a teaspoon of water to fight a house fire. Which is why I encourage everyone else to bring their teaspoon as well. The more people I reach and inspire, the more the world can positively transform.

While I am wrapped up in my own self-pity, feeling like I am yelling my encouragement and inspiration into an empty canyon, enter my lovely Margie. She reminds me of the time two people came up to me and told me that they were ready to end their lives and something that I wrote caused them not to give up hope. I can’t even relay that story without getting emotional as both Margie and Kelly can tell you. If, through the course of my journey, I never have anymore engagement from this blog or my books and podcast, those two people have made this journey a success. Funny thing is, I was not close with either one of this people. I planted a seed of hope and encouragement and it blossomed for them at just the right time.

I want to remind all of us that the good and love we put out into the world is like that. Whether that is Kelly’s effort to help those struggling with addiction, my efforts to bring a little light to what can often be a dark world, or you and the good you are looking to bring into the world. Remember we are planting seeds. It may seem as if all of our seeds are landing on soil that is not fertile, but some just take longer to blossom, just as some plants take longer to sprout. Many of our seeds may land on concrete and never grow into anything. How do we solve that? Here is my solution. If you want the same amount of crops, and half the seeds won’t grow, what do you do? You plant twice as much. You might want to read those last lines again. Plant as many seeds of kindness and love as you can. You might not be around when they grow into something beautiful, but wouldn’t be a shame if you never planted them at all?

ANGELS OF HEALING

As most of you know, I have been on the long road of recovery from my open-heart surgery. When I say long, it has only been about 4 months. It can safely be said, these 4 months have been some of the longest of my life. Being physically limited and having to “take it easy” as the doctors keep reminding me, is a very hard prescription for a man who goes to the gym 5 days a week. There are times that the pain and reduced cardiovascular ability can lead to frustration and at its most severe times, depression. Intellectually, I know healing from this takes time and due to some complications, it will take me even longer. Emotionally, however, it can seem as if I will never get better. I put on a smiling face and am truly grateful for coming back after my brief visit to the world of death, but it can still feel very dark and hopeless at times.

In the last few weeks there has been some return to normal. 4 weeks ago I was cleared to go back to the gym, although limited. 2 weeks ago I returned to work. It was good to feel like a productive member of society again. Several of my coworkers told me how good it was to see me again and that made me feel good. Slowly, this all helped return a bit of that feeling of normal I was missing. One of the best things about returning to work is the local Starbucks location by my work. In past blogs you have heard me discuss some of the amazing people there. First, there was Deb, who is not only friendly, but has one of the best attitudes for someone who serves the public that I have seen. I mentioned the man who runs the show, Nick, the manager. He takes a personal interest in you as not only a customer, but a person. There is nothing that will get return business as sure as making someone feel valuable. That is what Nick does.

It is not just Nick that does this, but a fair amount of his crew as well. Sydney has a smile that is at once both infectious and contagious. You are all but guaranteed to walk away smiling after chatting with her. If having a good feeling in your heart is what you are after, Kryssy will do that for you. Much like her amazing manager, she really gets to know you as a person. She shows great care and concern for you as a person. The group is rounded out with many other amazing souls like Andrea, Colleen and Erika. Plus, many others that my tired brain let escape for this second. The best part about all of these people is they are genuine. They are not trying to sell you, they are just being themselves.

They showed why they are one of the best group of people in two fabulous ways recently. In doing so, they not only gave yet another example of how amazing they are, but did a great deal to help my healing journey. The first touching thing was a package that they had put together to welcome me back. This location is so busy and has so many customers that pass through their doors, to be remembered and thought of in such a way gave a lift to my spirit that was just the thing I needed at this time. They had no way of knowing, but everything they put inside this little package fit me perfectly. The gesture meant such a great deal to me. By being great human beings, they gave this crazy author and blog writer a great deal of needed positivity.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, I walked in to discover they had made me their ‘customer of the week’. I am certainly not one to seek accolades (Oprah if you want to make my most recent book the ‘book of the month’ I would be happy to make an exception) but being recognized as someone who they find valuable made a real impact. Again, there are a lot of amazing people who pass through their doors and I am sure a great deal of them deserve to be ‘customer of the week’. For them to choose me, really made me feel welcomed and missed.

These 2 acts may seem small and little to the outside observer, but they made a world of difference to me. As my friends at the Oak Creek Starbucks showed, doing small acts of kindness with great amounts of love is what really changes the world. I encourage all of you who may be pondering doing something to show someone how much they are appreciated, to do it. While it may seem like something small to you, it can make a great amount of difference to them.