LEARNING WHAT YOU NEVER KNEW

Last post we discussed addressing some issues we may not have known we had inherited from our family, neighborhood or other influences. It may make some people uncomfortable to think they are changing or God forbid, improving something about themselves. I get it. In today’s world it can be hard to admit we are anything less than perfect, even if it is through no fault of our own. Nobody likes to admit they have something to work on. Do you know what nearly everyone likes? Realizing they are getting better at something. It can be close to downright exciting to think you may be working on mastering something. Here is some great news, there are plenty of areas in which we can do this!

If we stop and think of the very important issues in life, how many were we taught or have we stopped to research? What do you think is important in your life? Where did you learn how to do it well? Did you ever stop to learn how to do it well? Relating to others is one of the most important skills a human can have. How well did you do in your ‘relating to others’ class in school? Do you recall when your parents sat you down and explained some of the many aspects that go into a healthy and sustainable relationship? Me neither. How about communication? The ability to both convey your thoughts, feelings and emotions to others as well as hear and understand theirs is skill that is as rare as it is valuable. How many years did you study that in school? If your education was anything like mine, that answer would be less than one. . What good is learning our alphabet and how to spell words if we are never taught how to effectively convey and use those very words.

It would seem a great deal of important subjects are left for us to learn by chance, or for far too many of us, by trail and error or not at all. The problem with this is that the stakes are far too high for most of us to learn that way. One mistake in how we relate to others can not only cost us a job, it can ruin relationships and cause emotional trauma to others, including those we truly care about. We occasionally get some instruction on interviewing to get the job we are seeking, although even that is limited. Did ever seem odd that nobody ever told us how to ask the right questions to discover if someone would be the right life partner for us? The same holds true with maintaining a healthy mental and emotional state. As far as I know, there exists very little, if any, instruction in public education on this subject. Is it any wonder, as the stresses in life continue to rise, we are seeing a host of people with mental health challenges. We were never even told how to deal with the stress that is all too prevalent in our lives.

We repeat here the axiom from the last post that fault does not equal responsibility. It is certainly not our fault we were never taught how to succeed in some of the most important areas in life. This is not a knock on our teachers and parents. They were never taught these things either. It is, however, our responsibility to educate ourselves on these very subjects. If a healthy relationship is important to us we need to learn what the components of one are and how to get them. If being able to communicate to others and have them understand you may be valuable, don’t you think it might be worth a few hours of research? How much effort is living a life with less stress and more joy worth to you? What other areas are important? Do you think being a great parent to your child is important? Do you think you may have received some bias or incomplete information on that subject growing up? Would you like to give your children the best possibility of success as they grow up?

When I share this information I hear a lot of groaning about having to dedicate additional time learning. “I spent enough time studying in school.” is a refrain I hear all too often. If that is your mindset you must then become comfortable at the thought you will not develop past the person you were when you left school. “I don’t have time.” is another answer I hear. To that I say this – it is not that you don’t have time, it is that it is not a priority for you. If I told you that you could have ten million dollars but I would need 2 days worth of your time starting tomorrow at 6am, where would you be at 5:59?

Dedicating time for study in these subjects is worth more than that ten million dollar price tag mentioned earlier, it is priceless. Being able to better understand, and even more importantly meet, the needs of your spouse? How much would you pay for that? Not feeling so stressed out at the end of every work week, or even every work day, how much would that be worth to you? You see, studying the main topics in life is like digging in a vain of solid gold. The knowledge you get can not only positively transform your life, it can do the same for lives of those you care about. Can you imagine sitting down to share topics like these with your children while at the same time listening to what concerns they may have? How valuable would that be? How about learning how to help people feel good about themselves? Would that be skill that might come in handy with the boss at the office or the one you love at home?

Here is the grand upside to all of this. The knowledge on all of these subjects is readily available and it is free. All it takes is some time and effort on our part. There are literally millions of books available in the public library system at no charge to us. There are forums, articles and experts available online with a click of a mouse. There are audiobooks we could listen to in the car, seminars we can attend, videos on YouTube we could watch while we are in line at the grocery store. There is so much information out there, in so many different forms that there is no excuse not to become an expert in any area of life that is important to us. Learning one new thing a month, which is painless to do, can give us 12 tips to a healthier lifestyle. Can you imagine incorporating 12 new things this year to improve your health? How much of an impact do you think that would have? What if we learned one new way to improve our intimate relationship a week? This is still insanely easy to do. Do you think adding 52 improvements to your relationship in a year would positively impact your love life?

There is no excuse not to begin to become an expert on the important areas of our life starting today! How important is the success of your children? How important is the happiness of the love of your life? How valuable would having extra energy and health be? Decide what is important to you and begin to study today! Your life is far too valuable not to.

MAKE YOUR HABITS STICK

Last post we looked at why developing winning habits is so important and how they can have a dramatic impact on our lives. The million dollar question is how can we be motivated to make those habits stick, especially in the moments we really don’t feel like doing them. This can be true early on. After a habit becomes a part of our life, it is usually much easier to stick with. Some habits you will even come to find yourself looking forward to and end up feeling like something is missing when you don’t do them. We are getting ahead of ourselves. Let us back up and tackle the question as to how we can maintain our level of commitment and enthusiasm for our daily winning habits.

One of the biggest mistakes we make is right at the beginning. When we are putting a new habit in place in our lives, we need to have a strong enough ‘why’. Let us use the example of eating healthier. If we are doing it because we know we should or simply that it would be good for us, that is not a very powerful why. Will this reason hold up when you find out the local pizza place has buy one get one free and you are tired from a hard days work? I am guessing not. Before we put our new healthy habits in place and make them a part of our lives, we need to become emotionally attached to why we are doing them. It is simply not enough to know on an intellectual level why what we are doing is beneficial for us. In order to stick to our winning habits, especially in tough times, we need to become emotionally invested in the outcome. Let us take a look at a few ways in which we can do that.

One of the most powerful things we can do is to really get clear as to not only what pleasurable and positive things will happen by us sticking with our new winning habit, but also what painful and negative things will happen if we do not stick with this habit. Using both will not only double our motivation, but will help us be motivated in an entirely different light. Most of us tend to use only the former and forget the latter. Take trying to quit smoking for example. Some of the reasons you may list for you ‘why’ is as follows. I will be able to breathe better and do more things without becoming so winded. I will stink less and be more attractive to others, especially those who do not smoke. My skin will age less rapidly. My immune system will be stronger and I will be able to fight off sickness better. All very good and helpful reasons to quite smoking. Let us look at examples of what would happen if we don’t stop smoking. These can often be discovered by taking to opposite of our positive statements. I will miss out on playing with my children and grand children because I will be too winded to keep up. In several year, or less, I will have to depend on oxygen and not be able to breathe on my own. I will meet the person of my dreams but they will be sick from the smell of cigarettes on my clothes and hair. My skin will dry, have more wrinkles and I will look older than I am. My immune system will be so weak I will spend more days sick than healthy. I will not be able to taste and appreciate some of the wonderful food I enjoy.

Some people may consider looking at the negative aspect of not achieving your goal or sticking to your habit as ‘scaring yourself’. In a way that is true, but when we are looking to transform our lives in a positive way, we need to use both the carrot and the stick. Both hope and fear are great motivators and should both be employed.

Another great motivational tool is considering something that may be more important to us than ourselves. For parents, this is hopefully their children. These quotes in the pictures above paint a pretty honest picture. You can tell your children how it is important it is to eat right and not to spend all of their time in front of the television or on their phone playing video games. If, however, they watch their parents spend hours a day on Facebook, twitter and other social media platforms while having a coffee and doughnuts for breakfast. What we say goes so far. When faced with believing someone’s words or actions, especially if they contradict, people will always believe actions. This holds true not only for children, but for our friends and coworkers and other people who observe us. If you want to be known as a great spouse and you are consistently posting loving words on social media, but when people see you out together you are disrespectful to your spouse, which one are they more likely to believe? When you are busy lecturing your children on the importance of good health and finances, make sure you are showing them as well. That is even more important.

So when the temptation to stray from the path of the winning habit creeps in, remember your ‘why’. If you have had a stressful day and your are tempted to light up, picture and really think about both running around playing with your grandchildren as well as laying in a hospital bed not being able to breathe on your own. It will certainly make it easier to find an alternative to that cigarette. Free doughnuts in the breakroom? Imagine your children following in your footsteps on unhealthy dietary habits and what that will mean for their lives going forward. It is important to use every means at our disposal for changing our healthy habits. We will not only be transforming our own lives, but you never know who may be watching us as well.

LANGUAGE IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS

Throughout our time together in these posts, I am often reminding you of how much impact the language you use (especially in conversations with yourself) has on the outcomes of your life. It is a subtle, yet powerful influence people often overlook. Sometimes, however, the actual layout of a word can answer some very deep and difficult questions we have. Today’s post is one such example. If you keep this post in mind it will help you improve your repour with others. It will help take your health and fitness to the next level and will do the same for your business or career. How to we go from being just like everyone else to having a life that is full of passion, excitement, good health and abundance. In other words, what is the secret to an amazing life?

Let’s take a look at the word ordinary. As you can see it is an adjective meaning not unusual or special. The part that really hits home is the second definition, “Neither very good nor very bad: not very impressive” There are certainly worse things than you can be than ordinary. As the definition reads, you would not be very bad. Such as if you receive ordinary service. It is certainly better than bad service. Of course, as the definition continues, it is not very impressive either. If someone asked to describe any facet of our lives, I do not think we would want someone to say we were not very impressive. How is this employee’s work ethic? “It is neither very good, nor very bad: not very impressive.” Maybe you don’t really care what your boss thinks of you? Try this one. Perhaps that special someone is getting together with their friends and they are asked, “How is your relationship?” or even a little more of a personal subject, “How is your spouse at making love to you?” Hey, I don’t know how personal you and your friends get. In either case how would you feel if your spouse answered either of those questions by saying, “It is neither very good, nor very bad: not very impressive.” Yeah, that might sting a little.

I think we have established that fact that we do not want to be ordinary. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with that. If you are reading a website called Secret2anamazinglife.com, you are not looking to be ordinary. We do not want our careers, our health or certainly our relationships to be defined as “Neither very good nor very bad: not very impressive” No. We want to be….

We want to be extraordinary! It is defined here as 1. very unusual or remarkable. 2. unusually great. If someone asked a customer about the service they received at your business, how happy would you be to hear that it was “remarkable”? If your spouse was asked about your love-making or relationship acumen, how would it make you feel to hear that they told your friends you were “unusually great”? That certainly would be better than hearing that you were “Not very impressive”. What about our physical health? Our stress levels? Our financial health? How about our ability to get along with others? What if your boss was asked about your work ethic? What if your spouse was asked about your work ethic in the relationship? Would you be not very impressive or would you be remarkable and unusually great? Would you settle for ordinary or would you want to be extraordinary?

How do we get from not very impressive to unusually great? How do we take our level from ordinary to extraordinary? The answer is in the very word itself. To go from one to the other, just add a little extra. In your relationship instead of giving flowers for birthdays and anniversaries, give them because your spouse is beautiful and they deserve it. Even better yet, give them for no reason at all. In your job, do not just do your job. Do your job to the best of your ability and with a great attitude. This is not so your boss is pleased, but so you will go from being a person and worker who is described as “remarkable and unusually great” and not one who is “Not very impressive” When it comes to our health, let us put in that little extra. You got your 10,000 steps today? Great. How about adding a healthy meal to go with that. We certainly want our health to be remarkable. How do you think it would impact your life if your mental and physical health were neither very good or very bad and not very impressive? Would you have more or less energy and vitality as someone whose health is remarkable and unusually great? The answer is obvious.

One word can help to remind us how we can take every area of our lives to the next level. How we can transform our lives from the blah state of “Neither very good or very bad: not very impressive” to one that can be described as “remarkable, unusually great”. We can stop living an ordinary life and start living an extraordinary life. All we have to do is add a little extra.

WILL YOU ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE?

Today I share with you a video from my YouTube channel. It contains a challenge those of us at secret2anamazinglife.com are undertaking. We invite you to join us and share your experiences as we share ours.

This challenge will last 30 days. It will improve many areas of your life including, but not limited to; fatigue, headaches, stiff joints, insomnia, digestive issues, skin appearance and may even help you drop a few pounds during the holidays!

This challenge, although very helpful, is safe and simple. All you will need is some water and some will power. Click the link below to watch the 2 minute video and find out how you can join the challenge too!😀

CLICK HERE TO LEARN WHAT THE CHALLENGE IS AND HOW YOU CAN JOIN!!

THE AMAZING SECRET OF BECOMING BEAUTIFUL

As the thought of quarantine ending is in the back of our minds, a lot of people are becoming nervous. Blondes have become brunettes, brunettes have become grey. Some people are even trying their best to impersonate a hair stylist. Not recommended. Myself, I am getting to the point of needing a nice little trim as well. Then there are all the snacks we have ate while staying home for movie night…or game night…or let’s look in the refrigerator to see if anything has changed night. Suddenly, our love handles have become far more romantic than is good for us. We haven’t been to the gym in weeks. The gym hasn’t been open for weeks so this time it is not our fault. Combine those two realities and we certainly have our work cut out for us. Not to mention it is going to be summer time and we will be laying by the pool in our bathing suits. That might all sound a little intimidating.

For the ladies there is the issue of beauty products. Have you been able to get the ones you normally do? The malls have been closed. Nail shops are closed. This forces several options. You can try new products from say the grocery store or pharmacy. Maybe you can do your own nails like you were in Junior High. You could just skip the whole mess all together and just pray nobody sees you out the first day the world opens up again. The beauty industry is a multi-billion dollar a year business. There is high-end shampoo, skin-care products, lotions, potions, lipstick, chap stick, nail polish and a host of other items all thoughtfully designed to enhance the beauty we have or help us disguise the things we wish we didn’t have.

Wouldn’t it be great if there were a secret weapon, if you will, it the battle to look our best? I have some great news for you. There is. Not only is there a secret weapon guaranteed to make you look more beautiful, but it will work for anyone regardless of your situation! Are you a blonde whose roots are beginning to show? This will work for you! Are you a size 12 who now finds that number who now finds that number a lot closer to 20? This will work for you! Are your nails professionally done to look perfect, but now you are resorting to the method above? This will work for you! This beauty secret will work for anyone, man, woman or child! It is also available right at home! Are you interested yet?

Before I share this amazing beauty secret with you, I must tell you a few more amazing things about it. Although it takes some effort (the amount of effort will vary from person to person) it will not cost you a dime! That’s right it is free and you already have it in your house! The more you use this secret the more beautiful you become! You can use this time when you are stuck at home to practice and put this secret to work. By the time you are ready to grace the public with your presence, you will have become irresistible! One word of caution before we lay this secret on you – Do not dismiss it based on its simplicity or any preconcieved notion you may have. If you reflect on some of the people you know personally, you will be able to see how this secret works. Another word of warning – This secret works in reverse just as well! That’s right ladies and gentleman. If you do not master this secret and use it in reverse (which a lot of our neighbors may be doing during this trying time) you become very unattractive. In fact, even after hitting the nail salon, the hair stylist and treating yourself to a day at the spa, you may still be given a sideways glance.

That is right, the secret we have been talking so much about it happiness. You might tend to think something such as, “Oh yeah, I’ll just be happy and nobody will notice any physical difference.” Scientists say that as much as 90% of our communication is nonverbal. Think of people you know who always have a sparkle in their eyes and a smile on their lips. Don’t you feel drawn to them on a certain level? If someone makes your soul come alive, does it matter if they may not be the “type” you usually go for? Happy people are more fun to have around. They make us feel good and therefore we are more attracted to them.

If this may seem hard for you to completely wrap your head around, try thinking of it in reverse. If you see someone you find beyond beautiful, but when they open their mouth everything that comes out is rude and hurtful, do you not suddenly find them a LOT less attractive? Would you be attractive to someone who is always gossiping about and putting others down? Of course not. Being stuck in our homes and not enjoying good social interaction can dampen our spirits. How do we deal with this? How do we increase our genuine sense of joy when we are in a situation that seems to drain us of it? We will be looking at a few ideas in the upcoming posts. For today just remember if you want to come out of all of this a more beautiful person, while working on your abs, work on your smile and your laugh. It will pay off a lot more in the long run.

THE PATH TO ETERNAL BEAUTY

Look in any magazine or watch any reality show and you will run across the same thing, everyone is trying to find the key to eternal youth and beauty. There are ads for creams, lotions, even cosmetic surgery has been refined to an in and out process. There is a new cool laser that can make your fat cells disappear. People spend millions of dollars a year on both hair removal and hair restoration. No matter how many advances or your financial ability to obtain them, one thing is for certain, eventually they will fade.

Do not misunderstand me. I believe there is plenty of physical improvements that make sense to do from not only an appearance stand point, but from a health stand point as well. Having dental work done will not only increase your chances of smiling, adding beauty right there, but help your health in many ways. Engaging in physical exercise will not only have your figure looking fit and trim, but help your heart and circulatory system run efficiently as well. Choosing a healthier way of eating over a crash fad diet will pay dividends for years to come.

Considering the amount of money we spend on items in the first category that serve only as a temporary cover up at best, we certainly could do better. Even the time, energy and effort we spend on items in the second category will only take us so far if we continue to ignore the single most important category to increase our physical appeal. The area of our life we should address first is often relegated to an after thought.

What is the area of our life that will bring us the greatest return on investment in regards to our beauty? It is our spirit, our heart, our inner peace. This may sound a bit cliché to many of you, but it is true. How many times have you come across someone who may not be your normal physical ‘cup of tea’ as it were, but something just attracted you to them? We all like to be around people who make us laugh, smile and enjoy life more. On the flip side, even if the person we are with has graced the cover of a million magazines, if they suck our spirit dry and leave us feeling emotionally drained there is no way we would want to be around them.

How do we invest in this portion of our lives? The answer is simple. Invest in ourselves. When we work to become better as individuals, we have more to offer each other and the world at large. Do something to refresh your spirit. Discover new ways to cultivate joy, engage in activities that make you smile. Foster an attitude of gratitude. Always look for the best in others. If you do these simple things and any others that will lead to an improved you, before long you will become more beautiful from the inside out. The upside here is the more you do this, the greater the beauty becomes. Keep it up and this beauty will never fade. No pills, lotions, fad diets or insane workouts needed.