Tag: haters

HOW TO USE YOUR ENEMIES ðŸ¤”

We all have them.  People who just seem not to like us for whatever reason. Sometimes these people seem to not like anyone. You hear them when you’re out, or maybe at the office. They are constantly highlighting everyone’s faults. How annoying is that?

You may be thinking that your life would be better without any of these people. The secret to an amazing life, however, is learning to use everything in life to our advantage. This includes negative emotions and situations, as we have discussed in the past. It also includes these negative people. How can we put them to work for us?

Listen to what your haters have to say about you. Often, it is blown up and exaggerated, but there may be a hint of truth in it. They may be pointing out a character flaw that your friends are too polite to mention. Here is another great idea that I often use. If I am trying to start a new habit such as eating healthy, or trying to stop a bad habit such as eating junk food, the first people I’ll tell are my enemies. Why? They will be ones who will watch you at every turn looking for you to mess up. That way they will be working for you by making sure you stick to your new self-improvement goals!

Next time you are tempted to be angered by, or frustrated by, your haters, put them to work! Take an honest look in the mirror and see if their complaints have a ring of truth to them. Even if they don’t, it is a great reminder to speak good of everyone. Also, use them to help you stick to your goals. They will help you improve your life without even knowing!

USE YOUR ENEMIES

There are people in everyone’s life that seem to serve no other purpose than to make life miserable. Call them haters, gossipers, enemies or any other term you like. They can make our life more difficult and prevent a lot of the good we deserve. One of the best ways to handle these people is to use them. Nothing frustrates one of these people more than to know their actions actually went to serve the greater good. How annoying would that be? Here you are, just doing your best to bring some negativity to the world and someone finds a way to turn it into something good. If that keeps happening, it might not even be worth spending your energy on anymore.

So, how do we use our enemies? Listen to what they say. Often they are the first people to let you know some area in which you are slipping. That is why I always recommend using these people if you are working to improve any area of your life. Say you want to start working out, or maybe quit smoking? Tell these people who would love nothing better than to find you not keeping your word. They will watch you closer than any life coach you could pay. They will do it for free and be happy to. They will actually be exciting to catch you laying around eating a doughnut or out back lighting up. Can’t you just see the joy on their face when they mention it to you (and anyone else in earshot I would imagine) Now don’t you just want to smack the smirk off that face? After all it is hard enough to make a change without them taking relish in your struggle.

Before you give into the warranted violence, there is a better option. I know, it can be hard to imagine something that would feel better than knocking the block off some soul who lives to point out the faults of others. Here is what I suggest, put a big smirk on your face and say something along the following lines, “Thank you. It is hard enough to do this, but with your help I know I will succeed. Thanks again.” First of all, they were not trying to help you and will find it terrible to know they did. Second, their grin will usually fade into a look of confusion or contempt. Both of these will feel better, at least in the long term, than physically wiping their grin off yourself. It also gives you more motivation on your own journey. In the back of your mind will be the thought, “I better not light up or that jerk Mark from accounting will tell everyone and take delight in my failure.” Then Mark goes from a pain in the butt we might be trying to work on, to an unpaid employee that will gladly work for free. We also know if we view Mark’s delight in our struggle as something that works for us, it will take a great deal of joy out of it for him.

Even the people who are the biggest pains in our lives can serve to be a great asset if we find a way to use their behavior to our advantage. This will also take a lot of stress out of our lives and help us to live an amazing life.

IF ONLY WE COULD REALIZE THIS SOONER

I love Winston Churchill. He was a little bit grumpy, but certainly got to the point. This quote above is really true and could make a big difference and save us a lot of time in our lives. Many of us, especially in this social media driven world, are so preoccupied with what others think of us that we forget to focus on what is truly important. Doing something for ‘likes’ on social media is one of the least productive actions we can take.

The truth is really in the last line – no one was ever thinking about you in the first place. Most people are focused on their own lives. Those who are focused on what others are doing? What do we call those people? Gossips? Haters? It is never good. Every minute you spend worrying about what others are thinking about what you are doing is 60 seconds you are losing that could have been used to build a better life.

Let us stop focusing on what others think, or being better than Kurt, Nicci or anyone else. Let us focus on what we are doing and being better people than we were yesterday. That is where the power and personal freedom truly can be found.

DOES MICHAEL JORDAN WRITE YOUTUBE COMMENTS?

Last post we talked about exposing yourself to as much intelligent content and great leaders as you can. This post comes from such a venture. Recently, I was watching to the Joe Rogan podcast where he was interviewing Kevin Hart. There was a great deal of surprising content on this show. I learned a good deal about both men, especially Kevin Hart.

At one point in the podcast, they were discussing the negativity so prevalent online. It is a reason why we do what we do on this website. It is safe to say this part of the conversation really resonated with me. The focus narrowed to people who feel the need to be contrary. You know the ones. You are having a discussion about a movie or band you like and out of nowhere they pop up and say, “I don’t like them, they suck.” When pressed for a reason, often they don’t even have one. This goes ten times when you post something online. You are sharing a nice romantic date you had with your spouse. A fancy dinner, a show and maybe some quality time together after. No sooner is it posted, the comments begin. “That restaurant is overrated.” “You saw what show? That was terrible and boring!” or even just an attack on your love itself. “Stop with all of the romance already!” or even comments like, “You make me sick with all of that love.”

The million dollar question is why do people feel so compelled to be negative? They could keep their opinions to themselves. They could simply just keep scrolling. Instead, they stop, take time and what to be a cloud to your sunshine. Apparently, they have so much free time that this is possible. Online there is no repercussion for a total lack of manners. You can hide behind a keyboard and say as many negative things as your heart desires. Sadly, I have seen this begin to show itself in person as well. You could be discussing your favorite recipe with a coworker and here comes the sunshine-challenged. “What? I would never eat that! I can’t stand onions.”

While discussing this on the podcast, Mr. Rogan made a joke, but it had a very good point. “Do you think Michael Jordan comments on YouTube videos?” he asked. The point is that Michael Jordan is busy running his businesses and basketball teams to bother with such trivial matters. He is busy improving his life to comment some contrary statement on a social media post. Taking time to leave a little encouragement or motivation on a friend’s post can really do wonders for them. What do you think is accomplished with doing the opposite? What is the point really?

Next time you feel the urge to inject a contrary or negative comment on someone’s post or in their conversation, ask yourself, “What am I going to accomplish by doing this?” “Is there a better way I could use my time?” You can rest assured Michael Jordan, Warren Buffet, Elon Musk or any other driven and accomplished individual is not wasting time on such activities. Let us build each other up, not tear each other down.