YOU ARE NOT CELEBRATING ENOUGH

It is amazing where inspiration can come from. In the course of my 20+ years in the field of self-improvement, I have filmed at least 3 YouTube videos at cemeteries, wrote about eulogies countless times and funerals just as many. Perhaps that is because at no time is the value of life more apparent then at the moment of death. When we witness the loss of someone else’s life, it really causes us to reflect on our own. It is my sincere goal that through these posts as well as my other mediums, you may not wait until that moment to look inward.

Another source of inspiration was delivered to me the other day at my day job. While working industriously near the radio at the Post Office, a commercial came on for a funeral service. It discussed the unique service they had put together for a lady who was into riding her motorcycle. It was a touching story and a good use of marketing dollars. It ended by promising they can work with whatever your ‘celebration of life’ may be.

A few hours later as I continued my work a thought of that phrase celebration of life. I have always preferred that over the word funeral or memorial service. This may be just a personal preference, but I feel it puts the focus on where it should be, on the person’s life and not on their passing. To me this tends to make it just a little bit easier on everyone affected by their loss. Yes, you are still going to mourn, as you should, but there are more reflections on joyous memories and fun times spent with that person. During the eulogy there is one, if not many, people who stand up to share what they loved about the person and what great things sharing life with them brought. That is how you celebrate!

That made me wonder, why do we save such celebrating for a person’s farewell? Certainly, it would be nice to have such events happen while we are here to hear them and enjoy them? Who wouldn’t want people to stand up and tell everyone the joy your life has brought them at…a birthday or family reunion. There are many times when people gather together to celebrate all kinds of things. I feel it would bring a lot more to the celebration if we spend a little more thought, effort and diligence on what we are celebrating.

I am actually going to take this one step further. I am going to advocate not waiting for a special event to do this. First, because if you invite people to your birthday party and call it a ‘celebration of life’ there may be some rather alarming confusion. Most importantly, however, because this is a habit we should all develop. Every morning we wake up and put our feet on the floor we should be celebrating life. After all, we are alive. We have many opportunities to bring and receive joy and love.

How do we begin to make celebration of life a part of our lives on a regular basis? I have two ideas, but I would love to hear yours as well. My first idea is to take some time each day to celebrate life. It can be as little as 15 minutes to as long as you desire. Personally, I think first thing in the morning would be the best time to do this. It would put you in a great mood to start the day! If everyday seems too unrealistic for you, why not picking one day a week to celebrate life? During the given time you have selected, either once a day or once a week, focus on things such as what makes you happy and what you have to be grateful for. Celebrate them. Feel grateful, feel happy and celebrate. There are no rules as to how you celebrate life, just do so consciously. Pretty soon it will become a part of your life.

YOUR WEEKEND HOMEWORK

Homework….I used to hate that word in school. Truth be told, it still conjures up a few bad memories. I promise you not only will this homework be painless, but actually enjoyable and improve your life.

Your homework is to notice the little miracles in your life. If you stop and think of how much life has really blessed you with, you may be surprised.

In my own life for example, I think my lady is a miracle. More to the point the situation between us is. Here is a woman who is creative, silly, smart and sexy. We somehow live in the same country, in the same state, in the same city. Not only that, circumstances brought us together and guess what? She found me attractive for reasons I still can’t explain, and we feel in love. When you think of the odds of that happening it is a miracle.

Even tonight I planned on a nice stroll this evening with my mom. As we looked up it was a full supermoon. The sky didn’t have a cloud and the stars shined in all their glory. The odds of us choosing to walk today, the moon being so big and full and the sky clear are slim to none. All those events on the same night?

This may sound a bit rose-colored glasses to some, and I suppose to some extent it may be. When you stop and think of all the odds that had to line up for your life to be the way it is, you will realize there is no shortage of miracles. Even a simple flower you notice as you pass by…a miracle.

So look out for miracles this weekend. Feel free to share your favorite miracles with us here at secret2anamazinglife.com!

MY YOUTUBE VIDEO FROM PARADISE – 3 WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE WITH A VACATION.


I have just returned from the Luxury Bahia Principe in Jamaica. It was an amazing time. In the course of planning this trip I learned 3 amazing ways that vacations change your life before you even leave your house.
If you use these same 3 elements you can instantly add more joy to your life starting today! By the time your toes hit the sand your heart will already be full of happiness. Click the link below and watch the 2 minute video right now. By the time the video is over, you will know exactly what to do to start adding joy to your life right now!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO AND LEARN THE THREE SECRETS

ALTRUISTIC IS SELFISH… AND THAT’S OK


The definition of the word altruistic is as follows – showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others; unselfish
How then, can I claim that being altruistic is selfish? For one simple reason. When you are down, when life seems to kick you as you are down, nothing can lift your feelings as much as helping someone else. Certainly, that is not the only time you should limit your acts of helping others, but it still holds true. Most of you know my story about how my life was turned around by helping at a meal program feeding the homeless. It not only gave me a new and refreshing perspective, but the act of being able to do something for someone else feels good.
That should not be your only motivation to do good, but keep that in mind. The more you do for others, the better you will feel. Thus, being altruistic is both unselfish and selfish at the same time. Why do I think that is ok? If, in an attempt to help yourself feel a little happier you go around doing random acts of kindness for others, the world would be a significantly better place.
As with anything we share here, do not take my word on this. Feel free to test the theory yourself. For 21 days, do one act of kindness with no expectation in return. Not financial compensation, not a promotion, do not even worry about getting a simply ‘thank you’. You may even want to record your acts to make sure you do not miss a day. After 3 weeks notice if your own happiness has improved.

FIRST THING YOU SHOULD DO EVERY MORNING

Today is Tuesday. Usually, for people Monday is the roughest day of the week. Back to work after a weekend away. The usual responsibilities come pouring back into our lap. We have to get up at an hour earlier than we would like. By Tuesday morning we are usually back into the mindset of a working person. If we are not careful we can spend our weekdays in a “Pay bills and then die” kind of mindset.

The question I get asked a lot is how can I change my life to one full of passion and joy? One of the things I recommend is changing your focus. Specifically, I advocate becoming a gratitude focused individual. Starting your day with an attitude of gratitude is one of the most powerful things you can do to transform your life quickly. At my seminars, and in my upcoming book, one of the exercises I have people do is to start a gratitude journal. It can be as simple as a spiral notebook and a pen, or a fancy journal and a fancy pen. Simply write down 3 to 5 things a day you were grateful for and why. Then review that list right before bed and first thing upon waking.

What a lot of people get hung up on is where to begin. No matter what challenges you are facing, realizing you are here to face the world is the first thing we should all be grateful for. When I hear individuals tell me how terrible their life may feel because of health challenges, career or relationship concerns or any other reason, I have to remind them that they are at least here to complain about them. Being alive gives us one very important opportunity – to begin to make things better. A few weeks ago a lot of us made New Year’s resolutions with the coming of the new year. You do not have to limit this to the first of the year. Every day that you open your eyes is a chance to start to improve your life. This is true no matter how bad things may appear. This is also something to be extremely grateful for. As long as we open our eyes we have another shot to create a life we love.

This morning before the thoughts of dreading work fill our brains, or we start to plan the seemingly endless list of things we have scheduled that day, let us try something else. When we open our eyes let us say, “Thank God I have another shot at this life!” or “I did it! I made it to another day!” This may seem corny or make you laugh at first, and that is ok, laughter is a good way to start the day as well. Still, try doing this for 21 days straight and see what a difference it makes. I would love to hear your inspirational lines you are going to use in the comments below.

THANKSGIVING TO GRATITUDE TO GRATEFUL

Six years ago on this very day I began this blog. It was Thanksgiving of 2012. A lot has changed since then as you might imagine. My post that day in 2012 was about gratitude. In the six years since that post was written I have learned, and experienced, a lot more about gratitude. It’s power to transform how you feel and perceive life. That, in turn, ultimately transforms the quality of your life. I have included a special section on gratitude in my upcoming book Living the Dream.

Recently, I read an article that gave me a whole new outlook on gratitude. It including something even more powerful and life altering – being grateful. Today, as we all hopefully are spending at least part of our day focused on what we have to be thankful for, allow me to introduce you to what I learned in this article. It will allow you to take what we observe on this most wonderful of holidays and use it to create a life that is far more rich and rewarding.

Thanksgiving. It is more than just a holiday it is an observance. Many spiritual practices have rituals of thanksgiving. Taking time out to observe and make special mention of all that we have in our lives that is going well and that we can be thankful for. This can happen once a year such as we are doing today. It can happen during religious or spiritual ceremonies or on special moments when we get together with friends. It may change our way of thinking and feeling for that day, or even for a couple of days. Soon, the thought of what is missing in our lives creeps back in and we live in a state of lack until that time again next year. That is true unless…

We tap into the power of gratitude. Gratitude to me should be something that we practice daily. Several times a day as often as we can. Why? Because the more we practice gratitude the better our life becomes. The definition for gratitude is to be appreciative for all the good you have in your life. You have hot water? You have electricity in your home? You have a job to earn a living? You can express gratitude for all of those things. Trust me when I tell you there is always something in your life to have gratitude for. You may be so out of practice in looking for the good it may take you a while to find it, but it is there. When you start looking for good things in your life they start to become easier to find. This, in turn, causes an increase in good feelings. What does an increase in frequency and intensity in good feelings get you? A more enjoyable life. That is where a lot of people stop, and that certainly is a great state to be in, but there is something better.

Grateful. How is being grateful different from expressing gratitude? Being grateful does not depend on good things happening to you. Remember our examples above? Let us take a another look at them? What happens if your hot water goes out? Being grateful means you understand what a blessing it is to have hot water as a normal circumstance and being without is a great reminder. Being grateful means you are still thankful that the water is clean and you have means in which you can heat it. Electricity go out? Being grateful means being thankful not only that it is usually available, but there are hard-working people on the job 24/7 to help get it back on track. Your job not what you like? Perhaps you even lost your job? Grateful is a chance to improve your budgeting skills and yourself while you pursue something that will bring you spiritual as well as monetary fulfillment.

If that last state sounds a bit like looking at the world through rose-colored glasses, it kind of is. Do yourself a favor and imagine what your life would be like if you were able to find joy and the good in life no matter what the outside circumstances were? You would be in a state of bliss most of the time! What would that give you? One hell of a great life. Trust me when I tell you I know this isn’t easy. I am working to develop a feeling of being grateful in my life. What a goal to pursue. Everyday I become closer to being able to appreciate the joy in life even in the toughest circumstances. That does not mean there are not days in which I falter. We will all have them. The sooner you get them out of the way, and the more you learn from them, the closer you will be to living a life feeling grateful.

As you observe this wonderful day of thanksgiving, begin to ponder how you can foster that feeling more often. I suggest starting with having gratitude for all the good that comes in your life. Taking a moment and appreciating those things. Then strive to feel grateful even in the face of challenges. Celebrate the fact you are alive every day to experience all the world has to offer. There is even beauty in pain. When we arrive at the state in which we can experience that, life becomes a state of magic.

THE BEST GIFT IS FREE

Love, appreciation, respect and many other words all fit into this thought. What else could replace making someone’s heart sing? That is something money can’t buy. Give someone you care about the best gift ever, help them see the beauty in themselves.

THERMOSTAT OR THERMOMETER?

A thermstat verses a thermometer, which one are you? Obviously I am not speaking literally. Both of those devices are inanimate objects and could not be reading this article. In a more figurative sense, each one of us is either a thermostat or a thermometer. Usually we are a little bit of both. In order to better understand what I mean let us look at each device and the service they perform.

We will start with a thermometer. What is the function of a thermometer? It matters little difference if it is used for meat or medicine. The main purpose of a thermometer is to measure the temperature of its surroundings and read accordingly. It is what we would call a reactionary device. If the temperature is hot the thermometer will read accordingly. If the temperature is cold it will show that. The thermometer has little effect, if any, on what is is measuring. We all know people like this, don’t we? If they find themselves in a room full of people who are productive and happy, they will be productive and happy. If they are in a room full of people who would rather stand around and gossip than work, that is what they will tend to do. These people, much like a thermometer, have little or any impact on their surroundings. If you are looking for a leader you would not want a thermometer. If you are looking to be productive you would not wat to rely on a thermometer.

This is not to say there are not times when adapting your behavior to the situation is appropriate. You certainly would not want to wear a tuxedo to the corner tavern any more than you would want to show up at the opera in ripped jeans and a flannel shirt. There is a big difference between adjusting to the current social situation and changing the very essence of who you are. Let us look at our above example of being in a room filled with individuals more content to discuss the actions of others than to take any action themselves. In this case it would not be a good idea to adopt the current culture. What should we do if we find ourselves in just such a situation? That will bring us to our next point.

A thermostat. That funny shaped device on the wall that regulates our inner enviroment. How does a thermostat work? Simply put, if we set a desired temperature it will utilze the heating and cooling systems to acheive that temperature. Should the room drop to far below the set temperature the thermostat will engage the heating systems to warm the room to the desired condition. Should the temperature rise too far above the set number it will utilize the air-conditioning to bring it back down. The thermostat not only has a great impact on its enviroment, it actually sets the enviroment.

We all know people like this too, don’t we? There are people who can light up a room as soon as they walk in. There are also people who can bring everyone down with a simple conversation. In other words these people set their enviroments. I know a person who never seems to have a bad day. I asked him his secret and he told me quite simply, “I just decide to have a good day.” Much like the thermostat, he adjusts as the day goes along. If things start to go bad he kicks in his ‘heating system’ to bring the level of joy up. If he finds himself getting upset over traffic, the acts of a rude cowoker or anything else he turns on his ‘air-conditioning’ to relax and cool himself down. Thermostat people are action people. If they see a situation that does not suite them, they take actions to change the situation.

Ask yourself today if you are a thermostat controling your enviroment, or are you a thermometer just reacting to whatever the world is handing you. If the sun is out and traffic is great you are happy. If it is raining and the car won’t start you are unhappy. Why put control of your emotional well-being in the hands of other people and things. Be like my friend and decide to have a good day. If challenges do come up as they always will, ask yourself two very important questions, “What else can this mean?” and “How can I use this?” These two questions will allow you to be in control of your enviroment.

THE POWER OF CHOICE

If you were to print this list out and hang it on the bathroom mirror it would be a great way to start the day. In every day if we look hard enough we can find something to feel blessed, grateful, excited, thankful and happy for. Even if the world seems to be crashing down around you, which I know can happen, it is good to get into the practice of doing this.

Here is what I suggest. Print this out, or write it down. Place this somewhere you go every morning. The bathroom mirror is an easy idea because most people visit that room before they begin their day. Then ask yourself the questions, “What do I feel blessed about today?” “What am I grateful for today?” “What am I excited about today?” “What am I thankful for today?” and finally, “What am I happy about today?” Do your best to come up with answers for as many of the questions as possible. Do this every day. Make it a habit. Try this for 30 days and see how much better you feel.