Tag: Happiness

NOT WHAT I THOUGHT

This picture shows that I now have 1000 likes on my blog. That alone is a thought that is very humbling. 1000 people all like the same thing and it happens to be the content that I put out on this very blog you are reading. This is the subject I fully intended to write about this fine day. As happens often with writers and inspiration, something went left when I thought it would go right.

What am I talking about? A new fun and exciting thing we can all try together that will not only put a smile on our faces and hearts but make our life far more amazing. Are you in? This simple exercise requires three things. 1. a pen 2. a small journal or notebook. 3. a fairly good sense of introspection and observation. That’s it. No complicated tools, no degree from a famous university, no occult secret and no magic formula.

Ok, so what on earth is this activity. Here is the story of how this post came to be and this idea came to me. For the last two or three days I have not been feeling well. Some sort of stomach flu or something. Spent most of that time laying in bed. My car issues are on the way to a wonderful conclusion and things around the house have been crazy. What I really needed was some relaxing quality time with my lady. So we decided to go to the mall today for lunch and she was going to shop while I wrote. She is actually there now so I better make this short so I can pick her up.

We decided to check out a new brew pub that just opened up there. We were greeted friendly and could feel a very positive vibe right off the bat. We saw a few friends while we were there and I exchanged information with a gentleman also on the path to self-enlightenment. It was a marvelous experience. Not to mention after lots of stress physically and emotionally both my lady and I were smiling and actually had some time together. As I left to write this, the sun was shining and it was not to insanely cold, which for Wisconsin this time of year is a win. I began to just think of all of these things and then it hit me. A great idea! A fun idea! A life transforming idea!

Enough with the story behind the idea, here is the idea. I was going to write about 1000 different people all liking my blog and how that felt like such an honor. These people come from over 70 different countries, across all social, religious and political fields. Then the idea came to me. I bet this one person (that would be me, which at the time I guess I was referring to in the third person) likes 1000 different things. I started noticing the afore mentioned things I was enjoying. The sunshine, the nice people I met, the amazing time with my lady. Guess what? I had me feeling as if I were floating instead of walking. I thought “wouldn’t it be great to feel like this more often?”. Then, as I am want to do I followed that with the thought “How can I?”. The solution my friends is simple, fun and I am going to share it now.

Keep a journal of what makes you happy. That’s it? Yes, that is it. Whatever it may be. Sunshine, balloons, penguins, the way the person you love smiles at you. Write them down in a special journal. Do it whenever the mood strikes you. Just keep the journal handy. Why write them down? It makes it more visceral. Not to mention when you open to write the next time you will be greeted by the last things that make you happy.

What can you do with this information? Lots of things. You can use it when you are feeling down for things to try to turn things around. When loved ones ask you what you might enjoy doing or what gift you may enjoy ideas are there. Looking for things to put in a gratitude journal? How about things that make you happy. Not to mention something else happens that makes life more of an enjoyable adventure rather than a arduous task. You become more aware of the things that make you happy when they occur.

I am blessed to have a lady in my life that has a very unique skill. When I am down and suddenly listing things that all suck in my life (Yes even self-improvement authors have these moments) she is quick to point out things that are going right, or could go right. This can seem slightly annoying when I just feel like complaining, but let me tell you it is an amazing blessing, because it gets me out of that state. I can only imagine doing this fun activity will only make her job easier. Another bonus I just thought of, if she reads my happy journal she will know lots of things that make her man happy.

So please will you try this activity with me? Share this with all of your friends. Let us all be happier in 2017!

YOUR MOST IMPORTANT CHOICE 

Let us get down to basics here. Many people have forgotten how powerful we can be. We have a super power of sorts. What is that super power and what can it do? It can do a lot of things. It can bring you happiness in the darkest of times. It can turn a enemy into a friend. It can turn anger into compassion.

Be warned, however, this super power can also be used for evil as well. It can turn a great day into a bad day. It can turn someone we love, into someone who drives us crazy. It can take a misunderstanding and can divide people for life.

So what is this power? How do we use it? How can we control it? The power that can do all of this and more is the power of choice. It is not a power that is often easy to control and one that can take a while to develop, but once mastered can change your life forever. Let’s take the easy physical options. Do you choose to go for a walk and have a cup of tea and a salad after, or do you chose to order pizza so you do not have to get off of your couch and interrupt your Netflix marathon. Trust me when I tell you I am the first to advocate taking time to relax and enjoy life, but if you continually do either of those the results will be much different.

Now, on the more spiritual side, you have an even more powerful choice. You have the choice of meaning. What does something mean to you? People tell me it can be very difficult to always try to see the positive in a situation. I agree. Which is why an easier question to ask, especially in a dark challenging situation is this, “What else can this mean?”. Just assuming it means that the day and or situation sucks is not only giving away some of your power, or not using it to your advantage. It also feels terrible.

For example, in my recent car being totaled while I was in bed sleeping event I had. I asked myself, how on earth could this be good? Well, for one perhaps something on my car might have went bad and caused an accident while I was in the car. Causing not only loss of the vehicle, but medical bills instead. Maybe if this man had not hit my empty parked car he would have hit a car with children in it causing far more injury. Both of those could be true. We will get more into this next post.

So today think of all the choices you have made both good and bad. Think of the results they have brought you. Had you made better choices could you have had better results? Do not beat yourself up over them, just realize the power of your choices and work on controlling and developing that power. The next few posts we will look at ways to do just that.

THE GREATEST ENEMY IS ALSO THE GREATEST ALLY

We begin our journey of inspiring quotes with one from the Bhagavad Gita, a 700 verse Hindu  scripture. This quote could not be more true in modern times. How and what we think about determines how we feel. Most of us live in a state of reaction. That is we decide how we feel based on what outside circumstances seem to be happening to us. Through either ignorance or lack of effort very few of us take control of our minds. This mistake can be fatal.

When we have control of our minds, we have control of our lives. Outside circumstances no longer decide how we feel about life, we do. This can start the very next second. Make a statement to yourself as to what kind of life you are deciding to live. You might want to write it down as soon as you are able. This gives us clarity of purpose and we begin to act instead of react. We decide what happens to us instead of life.

Think of waking up in the morning. How often do you say to yourself “I am going to have an amazing day no matter what life throws at me today”? If you do congratulations you are a step ahead of most of the world. If you do not do something like this, do not worry, you have just discovered a simple thing you can do to dramatically change your life for the better.

I recommend writing your statement down because as you go through your day there very well may be challenges. Allow me to share a person story. I made the statement that 2017 was going to be an amazing year for me. I am determined that is so. In the month of January alone I have faced a few challenging situations. My car was totaled while it was parked and I was sleeping. I came in second place in the ‘Best author in Milwaukee’ competition to a man who has his own show on public television. For a while these began to chip away at my enthusiastic outlook for the coming year. Now this is important to note, this will happen. Getting control of your mind is a journey. The more you do it, the easier it will become, but make no mistake there will always be challenges.

What to do when this happens? There are several things. My first suggestion is to look for the positive. Even in my car situation, I will probably only receive a fraction of what my car is worth and still have to go through trying to purchase a new one. There is the matter of the cost of the rental car. All of these happened through no fault of my own. (As I mentioned I was inside my house sleeping when my car was hit). Still I think there may have been something that could have went wrong later on that would have cost me more? Perhaps if the man had not hit my car that was parked and empty he could have hit one with a family and children in it. This may sound naïve to some of you, but it is quite the opposite. Learning to find the light in even the darkest of situations takes the mind of a warrior and can be quite a challenge. When we are able to do so we are no longer slaves to the negative feelings that can come from personal challenges.

There is another amazing thing we can do to not only take control of our minds, but add more joy and magic in our lives. What is that? Come back tomorrow for the answer and a quote from yet another different faith.

FIND YOUR SOURCES

Ok, 2 days in a row with pictures of me? Only because these are lessons I’ve learned in my own life I’d like to pass on. I would like to begin with a quote from one of my favorite philosophers

“Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon” – Edward Sanders

If you are unfamiliar with that name, let me tell you his less formal name, Winnie-the-pooh. Yes, I was a Pooh fan as a young person and have found some new and interesting wisdom in them as an adult. (I highly suggest reading “The Tao of Pooh) So what does this piece of advice from a stuffed bear have to do with the picture of me above and more importantly with living an amazing life? Sources my friends.

Here is the thing. A balloon makes me smile. Not 100% sure why, but how many people have you seen holding a balloon and not smiling? Here is the cute thing, I told the lady in my life how I felt about this and she purchased the balloon for me in the picture above. So why am I holding my book A Happy Life for Busy People? Inside there are many tips on places to find happiness in your everyday life. If you care to get a copy click the link above.

So what makes you happy? When I ask most people the first thing that comes out of their mouths is “I don’t know”. Many really have to stop and think about it. A few posts back I advocated compiling a list of things that make you happy. I am going to take that one step further and tell you two other things. Once a week, add one of those things to your life. It could be as simple as a balloon or a bunch of flowers that may not last forever, but will bring a smile to your face. Perhaps a special dessert, or time with that special someone? The second thing I am going to ask you to do is to spread this happiness by selecting one person a week and discovering what makes them happy. You can ask directly or be a little more coy about it. Then, pick up something small and simple to bring a smile to their face. I can’t tell you how much the balloon Margie brought me lifted my spirits. So do it for the one you love this week, then perhaps a coworker next week? Maybe a friend the third. showing you listen and care will mean just as much as what you bring them. Let us all spread a little joy to each other.

As always feel free to spread the word about Secret2anamazinglife.com to all of your friends as well.

INCLUDE SOME EVERYDAY

This may seem like a no-brainer. That being said, ask yourself “How many things do I do everyday for the simple reason of making myself happy?”. There seems to be an endless list of things we need to do every day like walk the dog, go to work and clean the house. Still how many times do we take a second to do things that truly bring a little joy to our lives? A lot of people may find this to be selfish, but to all of my altruistic friends out there, remember you can serve others far better when you are coming from a good place.

Let us explore this idea of creating a list of things that make us happy. It can be things we do already, or things that we used to do. It can be things we have wanted to try, or things we forgot about. It can be simple things that only take a minute or complex things that may take a few days to enjoy. Let us take a look at a few examples to get us started.

A while back I wrote a post about mixing different flavors of soda at fast food restaurants. As a child it was something I was always told I should not do. To this day I can’t really understand the problem with it. Guess what? About 75% of the time I get a soda at a place I have the option to, I mix the flavors. I still chuckle a bit to myself each and every time I do it as well. So even if something seems rather silly, put it on your list!

Another thing I have noticed is how special things we do that bring us joy can slip in the familiar. Let me explain. A few years ago I had moved into the place I am now living. In the move I took a while to set up my fancy coffee maker. Coffee being one of my guilty pleasures. As an author I think it should be allowed as a tax deduction, but I digress. When I finally set it up I recall the lady in my life bringing me a fresh hot brewed cup of coffee first thing in the morning. If memory serves I think the clouds parted and angels started singing, but don’t quote me on that. Funny thing is, fast forward 2 years later and it is something I do as I am getting dressed and ready for work. I grab my cup and run out the door barely even realizing I made it until I take that first sip. With a moment of focus I can once again appreciate this morning ritual. Even the act of writing it down can serve to remind me how much joy I receive through a simple cup of coffee.

So take some time this Monday and create your own list of things that make you happy. Smiling at strangers? Saying good morning to your favorite coworker? Eating a fresh salad for lunch? Maybe a simple cup of coffee or mixing soda at a fast food restaurant? Write them all down and carry your list with you throughout this week. See if you can sneak in several of the items everyday.

Please feel free to share any of the items on your list and how you put them into your day in the comments below. Share this idea with a friend and both try it. That will only make it far more fun. As always, feel free to share this blog post as well.

 

AND WE’RE OFF!

It was a Saturday evening around 6pm and i was enjoying a nap after a long day working at the post office. Suddenly my lady wakes me up and said “i think i heard a car accident”. I closed my eyes and a sinking feeling came over me as i realized there was only one car parked in front of the house….mine. 

I jumped out of bed, grabbed my coat as it was a mere 9 ° outside.  Sure enough my car, i named Earl, that was parked in the street in front of my house was now several feet closer to my front door. Further down the street i saw what was left of an elderly man and his car. I ran to check on him and saw his head was bleeding and he seemed out of sorts. As i called the police i offered the man to come inside and a hot cup of coffee which he politely declined. Soon the police arrived and after about an hour both vehicles were towed away and i was left with the reality of having no car on a cold winter day. 

Here is where all of this leaves us. At the end of last year i told everyone i knew i felt 2017 was going to be a great year for me. I’m not into numerology at all, but something just told me “this will be your year”. This would seem to be an auspicious start, and truly my ford escape has seen its last days, but i am going to have a rental car that will tide me over and i am sure the insurance company will give me something. I called the elderly man’s son, who picked him up that evening the following day to inquire as to his condition which i was informed was greatly improved. I had a warm house to spend the evening in and was assisted by family and friends in getting where i needed to go. 

The takeaway here is even though i have been inconvenienced and may very well end up with less than i started with i still am very grateful. Nobody was seriously hurt. Perhaps if the man had not hit my parked car he would have went on the hit something far worse. Maybe something was about to go wrong with my car that he prevented? Either way 2017 is still going to be my year. It began with a great challenge to my positivity, but it also provided a chance to persevere and remain grateful. 

A NEW YOU!

This time of year there is always a lot of talk about changing who we are for the better. About how we can improve on this and do better on that. Here is a better idea – try loving yourself more-.

If that sounds a bit silly or a little too ‘new age-ish” for you stop and think about what we tell ourselves. Last post we talked about what we can do when we make a mistake and how beating ourselves up doesn’t not serve us or anyone else around us. We don’t really seem to talk to ourselves much unless it is criticism. 

Let’s be honest, if you are reading a blog like this chances are on a daily basis you do more right than you do wrong. On some days maybe this isn’t true, but as a person you do the best you can to do what is right. If it doesn’t feel like that sometimes it might be because we don’t congratulate ourselves as much as we admonish ourselves. 

This weekend try doing two things for yourself. First, try to notice and congratulate yourself when you do something nice. You held the door for someone, you threw your trash away instead of leaving it for someone else to do. Maybe it is that you went to work even though it was cold and you didn’t want to. Take a moment and say to yourself, or out loud if you’re that confident, “hey me (i recommend using your name it’s ok to refer to yourself in the third person just this once) i did a good job right here”. 

Second, when you do make a mistake find a good. Yes, i did slip up and have a cigarette, but i haven’t had one for 7 days before that and next time I’ll go even longer!

Try this for a few days and you will notice you feel better over all and you won’t get so down when you make a mistake. After all, you’re amazing just the way you are!

WHY THE HURRY?

One of the main questions i get asked doing my seminars is “why is happiness so important?”. Why not teach people how to make lots of money? When people are rich they are a lot happier right? Let me ask you this, when someone close to you passes away does your bank account matter? When you get your heart broke does how much you are worth matter? In response to this a lot of people tell me that everyone they know is healthy. Their love life is amazing and in fact they are pretty happy. Another group of people have this answer, “I’ll be happy when…”. The second half of that statement varies, but basically says that some outside circumstance determines your happiness.

Let’s tackle the first statement. If your life is going well, that is awesome! Take notes. That is what makes a successful life. What do I mean take notes? When life is working take notes. Pay attention to what is working for you. Same when life isn’t working. Take notes. That way you will have a recipe that works for your life. Why worry about happiness when you already have it? Simple, life is always changing. In fact, when you are happy is the perfect time to learn about and design your happiness. Our mind is clear, and we will be better prepared to face challenges when they come. If you and your friends planned a white water rafting trip would you wait to learn to swim until you fell out of the raft? Of course not. So learning to manage your emotional state, or to maintain a positive attitude is a skill that not only affects every area of our life, but will determine how much we enjoy the life we have.

That leads us to the second answer. The “I’ll be happy when..” people. So you are waiting for the kids to go off to college and then you will be happy? You are waiting until you get that new promotion  and then you will be happy? What will you be doing in the meantime? Reacting to how life decides to treat you? What if that promotion never comes? What if someone close to you passes away? Not a pleasant thought, but it could happen. Then you find yourself saying “I wish I would have enjoyed life more with….”. Here is one other fact, we never know when our time is up. You could eat healthy, go to the gym everyday and life could take you out. So why put off enjoying life? Enjoy the journey. Begin today! Develop and feed your happiness. Life will begin to be so magical. It was John Lennon who said “life is what happens when we are busy making plans”. Do not let that be you. Do not be so focused on a destination you miss the journey. 90% of our time is spent in the journey. So how do we do that? Come back tomorrow and we will tackle that subject.

In the meantime please help me bring light to the world by sharing this blog post on your social media page and by telling your friends about secret2anamazinglife.com.

JUST ONE THING

Normally there is not a blog post on this site on Sunday, but it is new years day and i would love to help you get a jump on having an amazing 2017.

Today is a day traditionally a lot of us make resolutions. Usually, judging by the crowds at the gym, they usually last about a month or so. Why are resolutions so hard to keep? There are a million possible answers and it greatly depends on you. 

One of the dilemmas we face is in the enormity of some of the goals we set for ourselves. So here is a fun activity we can all try. It involves doing one simple thing, once a week. Kind of like replacing one of your meals with a salad once a week do try and begin to eat more healthy. Sometimes adding something small can be easier to stick with and can build a foundation to make bigger changes. Not to mention, this one is fun!

Ok he is the drill. Find a jar. It can be one you have laying around the house you decorate, or you can go to the home store and pick one out. Part of the fun is being creative.  Do what speaks to you. Now place the jar somewhere you will see regularly. Place by this jar a small stack of papers and a pen. Pick a day on which you can regularly depend. Be it Monday to start the week, Friday at the end or any of the other five. On that day write on one of the pieces of paper either something that made you happy or something you are grateful for that week. You can do both if you like. 

What you do with your jar is up to you. Some people read through it when they are having a bad day. Some pick days and open it and read them all. Some friends wait until the next December and look back at all the good they had that year. Any of these are great! You could even do them all. 

This is a simple, fun idea that only takes a couple of seconds once a week. Try it this year and see where it takes you. Maybe share the idea with a friend and design your jars together. Feel free to leave your ideas in the comments below. 

START A FUNDRAISER

I like this saying because it can be rather profound. Of course there is several meanings i see in this picture. 

First, if we view our work as a fundraiser for our lives it can change our perception of our work. When you realize what your money allows you to do, even if it is just paying the bills, you slowly shift how you feel. Even though work will remain frustrating at times there begins to enter a feeling of gratitude. Sure we would all like to earn more money, but the fact we are earning some allows us to love in a climate controlled house with clean water whenever we need. It allows us to eat everyday. Sure we might want steak instead of fast food more often, but we rarely go to bed hungry. This puts us so far ahead of most of the world that even if we don’t have the fancy car, exotic vacation or other things we might desire we still have a lot to be grateful for. 

Second, perhaps we need to add to the fundraising aspect. If we set up a special savings account, or even a coffee can we contribute to designated for a fun special purpose it can motivate us when work is challenging. 

So this week set up that account (or fun bank) pick a fun purpose and start saving what you can, even change. Then notice all the bills you are able to pay thanks to your job. It may not seem like fun, but try to imagine life without them.