One of my favorite song lyrics by Bob Marley. It is so true. Our minds are one of the only things we can execute total control over. Notice, I did say can. The mind can be an obeying servant, or it can be a master with no mercy. Many of us live life at the whim of our emotions and outside circumstances. If I were to ask you when you woke up if you were going to have a good day, what would you answer? Most of us would give the answer “We will have to wait and see.” Meaning our day, and so our lives, are determined by other people events and circumstances.
I will be the first to admit that it is easier to smile on a beach than in a snow storm. The truth is that we still have control over our minds in both. Finding the beauty in the world around us and living in a state of gratitude will allow us to determine to live a great life. It is possible to wake up determined to have a good day and not let the outside circumstances determine the quality of our life. With that in mind, I will leave you with this quote from Martha Washington that I think sums it up quite nicely.
Truly, one of the greatest feelings is knowing someone is happy because of you. I certainly do my best to keep the beautiful love of my life happy. Margie deserves all the wonderful things I can come up with just for putting up with this crazy author.
Yet, everywhere I go I do my best to make people happy. My day job, the coffee shop, my mechanic. When I succeed, it always gives my heart a jolt of joy. The more people I give joy to,the more joy fills my heart as well.
How about you? Who have you made happy today? Who could you make happy? Feel free to share your story in the comments below.
We would love to learn more about all of our fans here at Secret2anamazinglife.com. We are followed by so many amazing souls in over 200 countries. We, of course, have many followers in the United States, but in every corner of the globe as well. From our thousands of followers in India and South Africa, to new comers like Gambia and Maldives. We want to know how you enjoy our site. When do you read it? What do you enjoy about it?
We also would love getting to know a little bit more about you. Where do you live? Why do you enjoy reading Secret2anamazinglife.com? Any other fun bits of information you would enjoy sharing with us. We wish to not only be a source of information, but a community as well. By getting to know those in the community, we can only improve on the quality of the content we bring to you. If you do enjoy the site you are reading, we would be honored if you would consider sharing it with your community. Whether that is telling your family and friends, printing it out and putting it up at the office like our friend in Lebanon does, or sharing the link on your social media. You will be part of a community looking to inspire and leave the world a better place than when we found it.
Please do the honor of sharing a little bit about who you are, where you are from and what you enjoy about this site. We would love to know when you enjoy reading Secret2anamazinglife.com. We would love to hear from all of you!
How many of us pursue these goals? The quest for perfection in any category is a fool’s endeavor. We should always pursue becoming the best version of ourselves. That doesn’t mean we will be perfect. In fact, when we make mistakes, that gives us the greatest opportunity to learn about life and about ourselves. Being able to set boundaries and say the occasional ‘no’ will keep us mentally and physically healthy to be able to bring our best when we do say ‘yes’.
When you are pursuing awards, think in terms of ones that speak of your character. How about the award for being a true friend? There should be an award for being a loving spouse. A helpful coworker is always appreciated as well. These are awards worth pursuing. At present, it is a shame that none of them exist either. Make sure whatever you are pursuing will lead to the best for you and for your life.
Here is an inspirational story that occurred to me when I was not expecting it. This is one of the perks of being an author and blog writer, you are subconsciously on the lookout for inspiration. Margie, my mother and I were on our way to the Milwaukee Public Museum for a special behind the scenes event. We were all pretty excited because the museum will be moving in a few years and you may not have an opportunity to see many of the things that were on display that night. The only downside to going there is driving and parking downtown. Luckily for us, at night there is an attached parking garage that is not to full in the evenings. This is where the inspiration happened.
It is ironic the inspiration of the evening came before we viewed any of the 4 million objects the museum has, including this cool whale over a staircase. When we were entering the parking garage, we were greeted by a friendly young man we will call Chad. This was kind of a small miracle in itself as the people at a parking garage barely recognize your existence, much less are friendly. After exchanging some banter, he even gave me a fist bump and raised the gate to let us in. I recall saying to Margie and my mom, “Hey, I just got a fist bump from the parking guy.” We all had an appreciative chuckle and enjoyed our night at the museum. I am sure this gents friendly greeting made it that much easier.
When we left, the parking garage was a lot busier as everyone was leaving the even at the same time. As we made our way up to the gate to leave the parking structure, guess who was there? My new friend Chad. We exchanged more pleasant banter and he even explained a little about the economics of the parking garage. He was so friendly, I gave him a card for this website as I felt he would really appreciate it. Although all of this was enjoyable, what he said next is what inspired me to write this post. “Thanks, I have an issue with my brain and they tell me I only have a year and a half to live.” I did my best not to be too shocked by this revelation, but I was thrown for a loop.
Here are the points I walked away from this experience with. One, I was extremely grateful that I was motivated to exchange some pleasant back and forth with this young man. Many times we just go about our business and fail to appreciate the human element involved in it. Second, it amazed me how upbeat and friendly this gentleman was. He only had a little over a year of life left and was working in the cold in a parking garage, yet he made our night so much better through his friendly demeanor. He could have been like every other parking attendant I have dealt with, and barely acknowledged me at all. Instead, this young man shared some friendly conversation, helpful information and a great smile. We are going back in a couple of weeks for another event. I hope to see my friend Chad again.
I know many well-meaning people with lofty goals. One of the most popular is that people want to change the world. This sounds like such a complicated and far-reaching goal. It is, but at the same time, it really isn’t. You do not have to end world hunger or cure a major disease to change the world. Being a great parent and raising children that are kind and respectful changes the world. Trying to uplift the spirits of those around you will change the world. These actions may seem trivial, but when you think of the outcomes long-term, and what the outcome would be if you took the opposite action, you realize how powerful they are.
My life’s mission is to leave the world a better place than I found it. This is not exactly a measurable goal. It is also one that never ends. The more actions I take to do so, the more likely it will be to come true. One think I have learned is the quote above. “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” You may think a compliment to a stranger wouldn’t make much of a difference, but you never know what that stranger is going through or what it means to them. I used the example of picking up one piece of trash. Does not seem like that would make much of a difference, but if every person in the world did that it would mean 8 billion pieces of trash were picked up! Even if 1 out of every 8 people did it, that would still mean 1 billion pieces of trash picked up. Again, if we consider the opposite action we can see the difference even more. Imagine if every person dropped one piece of trash on the ground. 8 billion pieces of trash littering our parks and sidewalks! Imagine the difference that makes.
Doing one small act of kindness a day may not seem like it would make a difference, but that adds up to 365 acts of kindness a year. None of those are wasted. It may not resonate with the person you do it for, but it could be seen by someone who then goes on to act kind towards someone else. Thus, creating a ripple effect. Maybe nobody sees your act of kindness. Maybe you pick up a piece of trash in the woods. It makes a difference to nature and increases the frequency of your vibration. In other words, helps you feel good. What small act of kindness could you do today? Remember, no act of kindness is ever wasted!
One of the questions I am often asked is, “How can I stay motivated?” This is the wrong question to ask. You will never be motivated 100% of the time. Motivation comes and goes. I can surround myself with workout quotes, pictures of the body I would like to have and upbeat music, but if it is below freezing outside, I am not going to want to go to the gym. The better question to ask is “How can I stay committed and disciplined?” There are many ways to do this. One of them is considering the consequences of not being disciplined. If I stay in bed all day the boss will not be happy and I may end up without a job. Another way is to focus on what you will gain by remaining committed. If I keep going to the gym, eventually I will fit into that new bathing suit.
If we are honest, some days none of this works. We do not care if the boss is mad or if we get fired. Hey, if I don’t have a job I could sleep in every day! We don’t consider the fact it might be in a cardboard box if we can’t pay our bills. What about fitting into that new swimsuit? Well, we don’t have to go to the beach. Plus, these doughnuts look and taste really good. I have had those moments. Have you? What then? How do we maintain our discipline when our motivation to do so has left us long ago? Example.
I am so grateful to have an amazing women that has me wanting to be the best I can be for her. She is so beautiful and loving that I often question what I did to deserve her. Still, after working all day without sleeping, I can lack the motivation it requires to be a great life partner. What then? I think of the example I am setting. For her children who may be watching. For other men who want to know how to properly treat their lady. To women looking for an example that men do value their lady. Maybe someone caught in an abusive relationship who needs an example of a healthy one to realize that theirs must change.
The same holds true for everything I do in my life. You never know who is watching. Our lives are either warnings or examples. In the age where you can be filmed and go viral for just about anything, wouldn’t you rather it was something good? I know I would. People will rarely listen to what you say if your actions do not support it. If you truly want to inspire others, focus less on what you say and more on what you do. I am going to leave you with one of my favorite quotes that highlights the importance of actions over words.
Here is a subject that we have talked about before on this site, but I was reminded that many of us still have not got the message. There are so many of us that are lack the bravery to share their true self with the world because they base their value on the opinions of others. That is why I liked the quote above so much. If we think of ourselves as that flower, how sad would it be if we could only bloom if someone else watered us? Many are still like this. That is why we need to both encourage ourselves, as well as be aware of all the good we bring to the world. You are a rockstar no matter how large the audience is or is not.
The only thing that saddens me more is someone who lets others determine their worth. If you asked someone directly, “Would you let anyone tell you how much you are worth?” Most of us would answer a resounding “No!” Yet, this happens all too often. Recently, I heard of a woman who even said she felt like ending her life because a man she was recently dating was mad at her. You may be thinking what some dramatic teenager has to do with your life. Here is a surprise, that woman was in her 70s. She had not learned to value herself enough that the opinions of others do not define her.
This is not to say you should not care how you effect others. If what you do hurts someone, you should recognize that and work on becoming a better version of yourself. We should be on a journey of becoming the best version of ourselves. When we are, if others do not value us, we know that our life still has value. I am here to tell you that every life has value. We can all make a difference and all have our own unique gifts to bring to the world. Do not let anyone convince you of anything less.
Whether you are 18 or 80, the time has come to reclaim your life! What we are talking about here is taking control of the inner game. The time for surrendering to your emotions or the expectations of others is over. The time has come to give up having worry over things we cannot control. What the world needs is you living the life you were born too. That is a life where your soul is on fire and you are burning bright with the light that is your truth.
Just like the mythical phoenix, it is your turn to rise from ashes of your former life to soar higher and accomplish more! Our planet is in desperate need of people living their passion and purpose. No longer can we have a population of mindless zombies chasing the brass ring. The media has us believing that happiness can only be found in material objects. Big Pharma is telling us that it is a Prozac deficiency. Even politicians, and certain religions, have us hating those who are different than us. Family and friends may try to pressure us to take paths in life that do not align with our values and spirit.
Reclaiming your life may sound like a large and complicated affair, but it is not. My upcoming fourth book will tackle this subject in great detail. Right now I would like to share a few crucial steps that you can take to begin the process of reclaiming your life. First, write down a description of what you want in your life and the direction you would like it to go. Just having this ‘north star’ in which to navigate your life by, will put you ahead of the majority of people in the world today. It will allow you to see right away if the actions you are taking, or about to take, will bring you closer to the life you want, or take you further away. It will also serve as a great reminder of the reason to get out of bed every morning.
Next, come up with a routine that will have you taking daily steps to create the life you do not need a vacation from. This can sound like a near impossibility, but it is a lot closer than you think. Creating a routine, and taking small but measurable steps consistently will allow you to continually get closer to that life you only dreamed of. More importantly, it will allow you to enjoy the process. Doing so will assist you in maintaining the self-discipline to stay true to the process you have set in place. Knowing every day that dream life is getting closer will have feed the flames of passion and that fire in your heart.
Whether you take these two steps, or something entirely different, I implore you to take action to reclaim your life from a world that is trying to steal in from you. It is you who deserve to wake up every morning on fire with excitement for the day ahead. This fall my fourth book will give you a customizable plan to do just that. Until then, feel free to share any tools and strategies that you use, or will use to reclaim your life, and like the Phoenix, rise from ashes of mediocrity to live an amazing life.
One of the greatest curiosities that I face is people who either purchase one of my books, attend a seminar or speaking engagement and then ask if they really ‘have to’ do the things that I recommend. I find this to be very confusing. Presumably, you purchase a book like Living the Dream or A Happy Life for Busy People, to learn how to transform your life. When the proven tools and strategies are placed before you on the pages, you ask if you have to do them. What is the answer to that question?
The answer is a resounding ‘No’. You do not have to do a single thing to improve yourself and/or your life. Then again, you also do not have to have an improved life. According to our good friend Isaac Newton, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Meaning, if you do put forth the effort to improve an aspect of your life, be that diet, skill set or fitness, then your life will have no choice but to improve.
There is a lot to unpack about this fabulous first law of motion as it relates to self-improvement. First, an object at rest will tend to stay at rest unless acted upon by an outside force. Same is true with your life! Unless you act to change it, or more to the point, what you do not like about it, nothing will change. You must apply force to move your stagnant life. Second part is that an object in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. If feel like your life is in a downward spiral, you must again apply some opposing force to change that or it will continue to do so. Either way, action is required!
Bonus thought on the bottom of this. Objects with greater mass take more force to change their motion. That is to say, if you have been making poor decisions and neglecting your life for decades, it will take intense and consistent action to change that. Your life didn’t fall apart in a day, and it will probably take longer than that to turn it around. This isn’t theory. As you can see, it is an actual law of the universe. Do you have to take any action at all? Again, you do not. However, if you want to see change, according to law, you must take action!
