Tag: Gratitude

THE MISSING INGREDIENT 

Have you ever cooked something and forgot an ingredient? Sometimes it is not that big of a deal.  You forgot That pinch of salt. Sure you can taste a little difference but it still tastes good. Other times it could make all the difference. Let us say you are making cherry pie and forget the cherries, big problem there. 

What i am going to share with you fits into the first category. I run into a lot of people who seem to have a missing ingredient in their lives and quest for improving themselves. I must confess as to having this problem myself for a while. See if this sounds familiar to you. Daily your life can be a struggle. You have moments of positivity, but daily it seems like a grind. You may even have a set of goals you are working towards but the path seems long and difficult. 

Fear not my friend! You are missing an ingredient. If you add this ingredient it will make whatever goal you are chasing not only easier to obtain, but you will have a lot more fun doing it. Yes, this missing ingredient is truly a game changer! Sound pretty powerful? It is, but here is what is even better, it is super easy to do. 

So let us look at your goal, what is it? Lose some of the extra pounds from the holidays? Obtain a certain position in your career? Perhaps improve and grow the love in your relationship? Whatever your goal is there is one step you should add to it and that can make all of the difference. Here is the one magic thing you can add to not only your goal list, but your daily to do list as well. It will improve the quality of your life tremendously! Have fun and enjoy the process. 

That sounds easy right? Here is why it is so vital. Most of life is a journey. If we only stop to enjoy life when we achieve a goal or arrive at a certain point we are…well…missing the point. It is the traveling there that is where we should look for the fun. 

You might be asking “what is fun about losing weight?”. A lot can be. Perhaps in your efforts you can look up and try fun new healthy recipes? Instead of going to the gym (which oddly I’m really hooked on) maybe find a sport you like or start taking walks in nature or going for bike rides with the one you love. 

Another thing to help enjoy the process is to notice and get excited about the progress and not the perfection. Stop and read that again, it is worth it. Some people will look at how much of the mountain there is left to climb and forget to look at how much they have already conquered. So you can’t fit into your jeans from high school yet, but did you notice you don’t get so winded taking the stairs? Maybe you and your spouse still argue too much, but are they being solved quicker and with less hurt?

So add the line have fun and enjoy the process to whatever goal or to do list you are currently working on.  Find ways to make the journey fun and celebrate the progress not just the perfection. You will find yourself smiling more often and when you’re enjoying yourself your goals will be easier to stick to!

Feel free to share this post with all of your friends!

WHAT IS VALUABLE?

This story was inspired with a conversation I had this Saturday night. We will begin with an odd question. Which of these is most valuable? A rock given to you from a child, a bag of spicy pork rinds or a reassuring compliment? Depending on your love of either geology or fried parts of a pig your answer may very. So what does this have to do with living an amazing life? Let us find out.

Before we craft our answer to the first question, let me throw a second question at you. Which of these two items are more valuable, a diamond or some water? As happens quite often, you may be tempted to question my sanity. It is the diamond right? Not so fast. Sure in our day to day lives if given the choice we would take the diamond. After all how many fancy bottles of water could you buy with that diamond? Well what if you happened to be stranded in the desert? Or what if that water was given to you by someone who was stranded in the desert with no water? You see, value not only depends on meaning but on situation as well.

Back to our original question. After DJing a busy show on a Saturday evening my lady and I had a chance to share a quick conversation with our friend Nicole. She told us of a recent story where her son had given her a rock and told her “I want you to have this”. (It should be noted this generous young man gave me a drawing he created for my last birthday) The reason she shared this with me is that is reminded her of a section from my book A Happy Life for Busy People titled ‘Gratitude in your pocket’. Which basically instructs one to carry a special talisman in their pocket to remind them of things they have to be grateful for. If you would like more info search the blog post of the same title or purchase a copy of my book. What she said next is what really got me thinking. “That was all he had” You see that child could not give her a new car, a diamond or anything else he did not possess, but he gave the one thing he had which was the rock. She saw the value in that and now uses it to remind her of what she has to be grateful for.

Ok, spicy pork rinds? How valuable are they? $2.99 a bag? Not in this case. During this same conversation Nicole was telling us how proud she was of the growth she saw in her husband. She mentioned how he knew to take her on their first date to all the places she liked. Then she added “The other day he bought me a bag of spicy pork rinds”. To some if their significant others bought them something like that they may just say a simple ‘thank you’ or even ask “Is that all you brought me?”. Nicole chose a more intelligent way of receiving this gift. She told us “This means he listened to me about what I like and went out and got it”. How valuable is it to you to know someone cares enough to listen to what makes you happy and then go out and take action on it? Certainly more than $2.99 a bag. Admittedly this is a lesson I did not always appreciate, but through the love of my young lady I am now relishing in it.

Speaking of my young lady, that brings us to the last item, a reassuring compliment. I mentioned it was a very busy night that night. My baby being the caring and wonderful DJ and person she is was extremely focused on making sure everyone had their song in and nothing went wrong technically. (sometimes I even wonder what I am there for). A few hours into the evening she stopped and looked right at me and kissed me. What she said next melted my heart. She said “I’m sorry I know I working so hard right now and not really talking to you I just wanted to let you know I appreciate you and love you”. Wow. That meant more to me than if she would have bought me another drink, or even gave me a diamond. Sounds crazy but true. To know that she thought enough to realize that although she was busy making sure everyone of our amazing friends was well taken care of, she knew her man would appreciate knowing he was too.

Did you notice something about what Nicole and I did? We took gifts that on a material level may not seem like much and appreciated the thought, effort and feeling behind them. When you do that not only do the ones giving the gifts feel appreciated, but you realize something even more important. You can be, in fact you are, rich right now. You give yourself the gift of feeling loved and abundant. So when someone gives you a gift, make sure you see the true value in it.

THE ONE PRAYER YOU NEED

This thought comes from a Christian Theologian who died in 1328. It is as promised a way to bring control to your mind as well as joy to your life. Whatever our faith may be we often seem most inclined to pray when we are in peril or in need of something. How many of us can honestly say we make a daily habit of taking time out of our busy day to pause and just say thank you to God, the universe or whatever our faith may lead us to? Even those like myself, who have witnessed the amazing power of gratitude do not do this often enough.

This is my challenge for you today, take no more than 5 minutes in a quite place alone and say thank you for all you are grateful for. While you are doing so I would like you to think and feel the gratitude of what you are being thankful for. What if you can’t find 5 minutes worth of things to be thankful for? That’s ok, just focus on the one or two things for 5 minutes. Notice when you are done how you feel. You can even try this in the restroom at work on a stressful day. Try it before bed and notice how sound you sleep. Try it as soon as you wake up and see what kind of feeling follows you all day long.

No matter what faith you follow, the words of this Christian theologian can serve you well. Remembering to offer thanks for what we do have instead of requests for what we don’t can change our lives immensely.

INCLUDE SOME EVERYDAY

This may seem like a no-brainer. That being said, ask yourself “How many things do I do everyday for the simple reason of making myself happy?”. There seems to be an endless list of things we need to do every day like walk the dog, go to work and clean the house. Still how many times do we take a second to do things that truly bring a little joy to our lives? A lot of people may find this to be selfish, but to all of my altruistic friends out there, remember you can serve others far better when you are coming from a good place.

Let us explore this idea of creating a list of things that make us happy. It can be things we do already, or things that we used to do. It can be things we have wanted to try, or things we forgot about. It can be simple things that only take a minute or complex things that may take a few days to enjoy. Let us take a look at a few examples to get us started.

A while back I wrote a post about mixing different flavors of soda at fast food restaurants. As a child it was something I was always told I should not do. To this day I can’t really understand the problem with it. Guess what? About 75% of the time I get a soda at a place I have the option to, I mix the flavors. I still chuckle a bit to myself each and every time I do it as well. So even if something seems rather silly, put it on your list!

Another thing I have noticed is how special things we do that bring us joy can slip in the familiar. Let me explain. A few years ago I had moved into the place I am now living. In the move I took a while to set up my fancy coffee maker. Coffee being one of my guilty pleasures. As an author I think it should be allowed as a tax deduction, but I digress. When I finally set it up I recall the lady in my life bringing me a fresh hot brewed cup of coffee first thing in the morning. If memory serves I think the clouds parted and angels started singing, but don’t quote me on that. Funny thing is, fast forward 2 years later and it is something I do as I am getting dressed and ready for work. I grab my cup and run out the door barely even realizing I made it until I take that first sip. With a moment of focus I can once again appreciate this morning ritual. Even the act of writing it down can serve to remind me how much joy I receive through a simple cup of coffee.

So take some time this Monday and create your own list of things that make you happy. Smiling at strangers? Saying good morning to your favorite coworker? Eating a fresh salad for lunch? Maybe a simple cup of coffee or mixing soda at a fast food restaurant? Write them all down and carry your list with you throughout this week. See if you can sneak in several of the items everyday.

Please feel free to share any of the items on your list and how you put them into your day in the comments below. Share this idea with a friend and both try it. That will only make it far more fun. As always, feel free to share this blog post as well.

 

AND WE’RE OFF!

It was a Saturday evening around 6pm and i was enjoying a nap after a long day working at the post office. Suddenly my lady wakes me up and said “i think i heard a car accident”. I closed my eyes and a sinking feeling came over me as i realized there was only one car parked in front of the house….mine. 

I jumped out of bed, grabbed my coat as it was a mere 9 ° outside.  Sure enough my car, i named Earl, that was parked in the street in front of my house was now several feet closer to my front door. Further down the street i saw what was left of an elderly man and his car. I ran to check on him and saw his head was bleeding and he seemed out of sorts. As i called the police i offered the man to come inside and a hot cup of coffee which he politely declined. Soon the police arrived and after about an hour both vehicles were towed away and i was left with the reality of having no car on a cold winter day. 

Here is where all of this leaves us. At the end of last year i told everyone i knew i felt 2017 was going to be a great year for me. I’m not into numerology at all, but something just told me “this will be your year”. This would seem to be an auspicious start, and truly my ford escape has seen its last days, but i am going to have a rental car that will tide me over and i am sure the insurance company will give me something. I called the elderly man’s son, who picked him up that evening the following day to inquire as to his condition which i was informed was greatly improved. I had a warm house to spend the evening in and was assisted by family and friends in getting where i needed to go. 

The takeaway here is even though i have been inconvenienced and may very well end up with less than i started with i still am very grateful. Nobody was seriously hurt. Perhaps if the man had not hit my parked car he would have went on the hit something far worse. Maybe something was about to go wrong with my car that he prevented? Either way 2017 is still going to be my year. It began with a great challenge to my positivity, but it also provided a chance to persevere and remain grateful. 

JUST ONE THING

Normally there is not a blog post on this site on Sunday, but it is new years day and i would love to help you get a jump on having an amazing 2017.

Today is a day traditionally a lot of us make resolutions. Usually, judging by the crowds at the gym, they usually last about a month or so. Why are resolutions so hard to keep? There are a million possible answers and it greatly depends on you. 

One of the dilemmas we face is in the enormity of some of the goals we set for ourselves. So here is a fun activity we can all try. It involves doing one simple thing, once a week. Kind of like replacing one of your meals with a salad once a week do try and begin to eat more healthy. Sometimes adding something small can be easier to stick with and can build a foundation to make bigger changes. Not to mention, this one is fun!

Ok he is the drill. Find a jar. It can be one you have laying around the house you decorate, or you can go to the home store and pick one out. Part of the fun is being creative.  Do what speaks to you. Now place the jar somewhere you will see regularly. Place by this jar a small stack of papers and a pen. Pick a day on which you can regularly depend. Be it Monday to start the week, Friday at the end or any of the other five. On that day write on one of the pieces of paper either something that made you happy or something you are grateful for that week. You can do both if you like. 

What you do with your jar is up to you. Some people read through it when they are having a bad day. Some pick days and open it and read them all. Some friends wait until the next December and look back at all the good they had that year. Any of these are great! You could even do them all. 

This is a simple, fun idea that only takes a couple of seconds once a week. Try it this year and see where it takes you. Maybe share the idea with a friend and design your jars together. Feel free to leave your ideas in the comments below. 

START A FUNDRAISER

I like this saying because it can be rather profound. Of course there is several meanings i see in this picture. 

First, if we view our work as a fundraiser for our lives it can change our perception of our work. When you realize what your money allows you to do, even if it is just paying the bills, you slowly shift how you feel. Even though work will remain frustrating at times there begins to enter a feeling of gratitude. Sure we would all like to earn more money, but the fact we are earning some allows us to love in a climate controlled house with clean water whenever we need. It allows us to eat everyday. Sure we might want steak instead of fast food more often, but we rarely go to bed hungry. This puts us so far ahead of most of the world that even if we don’t have the fancy car, exotic vacation or other things we might desire we still have a lot to be grateful for. 

Second, perhaps we need to add to the fundraising aspect. If we set up a special savings account, or even a coffee can we contribute to designated for a fun special purpose it can motivate us when work is challenging. 

So this week set up that account (or fun bank) pick a fun purpose and start saving what you can, even change. Then notice all the bills you are able to pay thanks to your job. It may not seem like fun, but try to imagine life without them. 

A MAGIC PILL

What if i told you there was a magic pill that was completely safe and legal? This magic pill would give you an immediate boost of good feelings. It would also improve your outlook on the future. It would improve your relationships and deepen the love and appreciation you both give to others and feel yourself. It would help your goals materialize faster and multiply all you have. In your darkest moments it will provide you with hope. When you are having a great day it will take you to new heights. It will keep you looking and feeling young.

How much would you pay for this pill? What if I told you that the pill was free? How far would you look for a dealer? Here is the great news, you have an ample supply of this pill. In fact, you could take a dose of it at anytime. More great news, you cannot overdose on this magic pill. In fact, the more you take the better it is for you!

Ok, so what is this magic pill and how can you start taking it? Let me caution you before I reveal what this drug is do not dismiss its power. This drug can be taken in many different forms. The more forms you take the better the effect. Perhaps you think you have taken this drug before, and maybe you have in a very mild dose. Here is what I suggest, take a very high dose of this pill and take it in several different forms. Do so for about a week and see what happens to both you and your life.

Ok, this magic pill is actually something we are celebrating today here in the U.S. It is the power of gratitude. Sounds weak? Perhaps you are thinking you have practiced gratitude in the past. You said thank you when someone opened the door or brought you coffee. Feeling grateful for the good in your life is very important and can increase what you receive, but it is merely a great first step. So take that dose. Make a list of 5 things you are grateful for each day for a minimum of 7 days. See what happens. The next dose which will provide you hope in the darkest of times. It will help you rise to the top in the face of chaos and challenge. That is being thankful for even the challenges in your life. Truly if we search hard enough everything has a blessing in it. Being able to find it gives you a super power. The last dose is finding a way to be grateful for your life in general. Just being awake and alive fills you with an almost overwhelming feeling of gratitude. By then you will be unstoppable.

You can take this drug in a multitude of ways. The list we discussed is only one. Sharing the drug with others only increases its power. Call a friend just to share what you are thankful for in them. Send out thank you cards to those you appreciate. I can assure you that people are not used to this magic pill and sharing it with them will not only make their day, it may change their life. Don’t believe me? Think of how you would feel if a friend hands you a card that contains handwritten account of everything they appreciate about you.

Today is Thanksgiving, which happens to be my favorite holiday. I have to confess only now am I truly beginning to appreciate the true power of being grateful and it is exciting! I invite you to join me. I also invite you to share any ways in which you express gratitude and share the feelings with others.

IT’S TIME TO VOTE FOR SOMETHING FUN!

Forget all our differences for Trump and Hillary! Forget empty campaign promises. I’m humbly asking for your vote for best Milwaukee author. So, if you enjoy what you read in this blog, or have read my book A Happy Life for Busy People I ask that you be kind enough to cast your vote for me.

You do not have to live in Milwaukee, you do not have to show an ID and you do not even have to leave the comfort of your own home! There is no political agenda to worry about and nobody will unfriend you if you do. So if you enjoy what I write here is all I am asking you to do. Go to http://www.shepherdexpress.com/bom16 or click the link at the bottom of this post. Then go to the arts and entertainment category and select Milwaukee author where you will see the screen above and click on yours truly!

When I found out that I was voted one of the four finalists for this year there was one emotion that came over me. It was not pride, even though to be so recognized is truly something to be proud of. It was not arrogance, although once again being selected as one of the four best authors in the city made me feel pretty good!  The one emotion that popped right into my head was gratitude. I cannot explain how grateful I feel enough wonderful people cast their votes to get me that far. So if you were one of those people I do wish to thank you. With you vote again and with the help of others we will come out on top.

Throughout my life my mission has always been to help others see the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them. I strive to do that very thing in this blog, in my books and in my live seminars. With the exposure that winning would grant me I feel that I could help even more individuals reduce the stress and increase the joy in their lives and I can only do it with your help. So I wish to say I big thank you for those of you who have already voted, and thank in advance all of you who will vote.

CLICK HERE TO VOTE!!

PS While you are there voting if you would be so kind as to click on the ‘out and about’ tab and vote either place I DJ at (HD hideout or Graingers) for best karaoke bar I would be further in your debt.

LIVING TREASURES 

Here is a man I encountered during a recent event at the local historical society in West Allis where I live. His name is David HB Drake. As you can see in the photo he plays several unique instruments and sings as well. What makes Mr. Drake special is that a lot of what he plays and sings are songs from the past. He also knows the story behind what he sings and passes it along to those who listen to him. To attend one of his performances is both educational as well as entertaining.

I am not sure of Mr. Drake’s age, but he is what we consider a senior citizen. In this country often that designation comes with an impression of helplessness, or someone who is passed their prime and does not have a lot to offer. The sad thing is that by taking that view we miss the great gifts these people have to offer us. The knowledge Mr. Drake has gathered has taken him a lifetime. To learn, practice and perform all of the songs he does can only be done with years of actually doing it. The passion he delivers it with is special and unique to him. A young person could not come in and do what he does. We could read books to learn the facts he delivers, but we would not experience them. The sparkle he has in his eye while telling you about what life was like in logging camps of the 1800’s cannot be read, but must be felt.

There are stories and gifts like this in every senior we know. I personally recall my grandfather telling me stories of his time in the south pacific during the second world war. Those stories could not have been read in any book on the subject and give me a personal perspective to add to what I do read about that period. Wisdom comes with time and experience and is something money cannot buy. So please treat your elders as the living treasures they are. Mine all of the ‘gold’ you can from them before they are gone. Ask questions, listen to their stories. You will not only be helping them understand and feel how valuable and treasured they are, but you will also be learning and helping yourself.

Feel free to share this post with as many as you can so we will not lose any more living treasures without experiencing the gifts they have to offer.