This past week we have been talking a lot about miracles. Today, I had an example of just such a thing. I would love to share it with you because, although it caused me a good deal of stress at the moment, it really pointed out a great example of how we can miss miracles. We talked about how miracles can often be overlooked because they seem like ordinary things. Today, served an example of how we can lose them in a sea of stress and chaos.
I was returning from one of my many hikes in nature with my mother. Traffic was heavy because it was about rush hour. We were turning from one busy street onto another. As I was turning onto the street, a young man on a bicycle went through the red light and I had to slam on my brakes to miss running him over by mere inches. I honked my horn. The young man, blissfully lacking in care or concern for any accidents he may have caused as well as his own life, did not even turn to look in our direction. My mother and I, on the other hand, had a rather unexpected trip closer to the dashboard and steering wheel than expected. The contents from a craft fair my lovely lady was in shifted greatly.
The rest of the drive to drop my mother off at her house and take me to mine was stressful. For anyone who has almost been in an accident, you know that you get shakes and your adrenaline spikes. My mother was questioning how the young man could be so careless, even after the incident. What we both decided, that it was a miracle that nobody was injured or worse. It would have been his fault, but I cannot imagine the knowledge that I injured or killed someone on my conscious. It was upsetting, and many people would have continued their anger, and rightfully so. That would only serve to continue our stress. We chose to focus on the gratitude that everything turned out for the best.
All of this does not mean we were ignorant to what could have happened. Quite the contrary. By realizing how this could have impacted so many lives and families negatively, only made us realize how much we had to be grateful for. What this did was take us from an emotional state of stress and anger, to one of relief and gratitude. This only helped make our day better. Finding the gratitude in such a crazy situation is a miracle in itself. Focusing on gratitude in a stressful situation is far better for your mental and physical well-being. Stress can drain us and deplete our immune system.
Next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, do your best to find something to be grateful for. It may be difficult at first, but it will save your day and might end up saving your life. Prolonged exposure to stress is the cause of many of our most severe health issues. Anytime you can take actions to reduce stress, or better yet replace it with gratitude, you are doing yourself a favor.
Last post we spoke of finding the miracles in our ordinary lives. It is a lesson that is too easy to forget. I must confess, I often fail to see these miracles. It is about this time that my mood seems to falter. As soon as I express gratitude for these miracles, my level of joy and inner peace begins to climb once again. When you recognize the truly miraculous events that have to take place for your life to move on as it does, you will really raise your vibration and be filled with more joy and inner peace than you have in your life up to that point.
Does this sound like a bunch of hype? Maybe your life at this moment seems far from a miracle? Here is the very important part about miracles. Pay attention now, I really don’t want anyone to miss this. Miracles are rarely, if ever, linear. What this means is that you often cannot witness the miracle in short-term. When you look back, do you know what you discover? Treasure beyond your wildest dreams. Here is another very important thing to remember. If you do not look for the treasure, you will never find it. Although right in front of you, it will remain hidden to you.
Allow me to explain this further by way of a personal example. Many of you know that I went through open-heart surgery and died, albeit briefly. When asked about what I gained out of that experience, many people go for the obvious. They assume, correctly I might add, that I gained a new appreciation for my mortality and how fleeting life is. There was so much more than that. When I look back on the experience, there are so many miracles that had to fall in line for me to be sharing this information with you today.
It all began with my trip to the gym. I had been doing cross fit and was in arguably the best shape of my life. This particular day I was on a cross trainer machine and feeling good. I was full of energy. I just happened to look down and see the heart rate. It read 222. Normal for my age was 93-150. On past occasions, I would have just ignored that number and went on exercising. I am not always the smartest when it comes to listening to my body. This day I decided to call someone. The doctor? No. My lovely Margie. She immediately chastised me for continuing to exercise and insisted I did call the doctor. This I did on the drive home from the gym. Those in the medical profession, who were a lot smarter than yours truly, insisted I go directly to the hospital, but not drive myself. This was ironic as this conversation occurred while I was driving.
That trip in the hospital shed light on the fact I had a deformed heart valve. I was born with this, but nobody in the 43 years prior had shared such information with me. I was also enlightened to the fact that I had a aneurism. As I told the doctor, “This information has never come across my desk.” It was not large enough to require surgery, but needed monitoring. If it were to rupture, it could impact my life negatively, by…well…ending it. This was in 2018. For the next 3 years I had checkups twice a year. They all ended the same way. “You are messed up, but not any more messed up than you were when you were initially messed up.” This diagnosis was always followed with the requirement to pay a hefty $2000. Needless to say, I stopped going for these checkups.
Part of the treatment for the last 3 years was to put me on a ‘just in case’ medicine. This wonderful medicine made me have slightly more energy than a sloth after dinner. When picking up a refill, I happened to mention this to the pharmacist. She looked at the dose and suggested I ask the doctor to reduce it. I pulled out my phone right there and gave the good doctor a call. His response was in order to get a reduction in dose, I must return to receiving the checkups. I thought this was useless, but to avoid being cast as a sloth in the next Disney production, I agreed.
The test was the following week. I was informed the doctor would call me with the results in a few days. When the doctor did call, I happen to be leaving the gym once again. I was expecting the usual diagnosis of ‘no change’. What I heard next surprised me quite a bit. “I think it is time for surgery.” It would appear since my last examination, I had passed the threshold for surgery. By quite a margin I might add.
Going through that open-heart surgery, and all the challenges that went with it, had me feeling in pain more than grateful. Upon reflection, there were so many miracles that had taken place to get me where I am today. Being on a machine that took my heart rate. Deciding not to be a knucklehead and get that checked out. Having the pharmacist suggest I call my doctor to get my medicine reduced. Having the doctor insist to another exam before doing so. If any one of these things had not happened, my aneurism may have burst, and my trip to the great beyond would have been a permanent change of address.
How about in your own life? Can you think about cases where situations came together just right to allow everything to come together? These are life’s miracles. Let me assure you that all of our lives have them. It is up to us to notice them and be grateful for them. It is then that the treasure appears. It may not be gold and jewels, but it is a sense of inner peace, joy and gratitude that will radically transform your life more than mere money evercould.
On a day specific for being thankful, we may ask what the big deal is. If you haven’t made gratitude a part of your life, you may not appreciate the benefit. Gratitude makes changes quicker than any other thing I know. Here are just a few of the things that will improve in your life when you beginto focus on what you have to be grateful for.
This can be accomplished by designating as little as 5 minutes a day. This can be done on the way to work. Maybe on the way home? How about right before bed? That will give you some good dreams. If you do it first thing in the morning it will start your day off right. Use Thanksgiving as a day to start this habit for a better life today!
Tomorrow is my favorite holiday – Thanksgiving! It is a celebration of all we are grateful 🙏 for. We can get so fixated on what needs fixing in our lives, we can often overlook what is working.
Today, let’s take a second, at the very least, to look around and take stock of what IS working and what we have to be grateful for. If you were to spend 5 minutes a day on this activity, it will change your life. Living in gratitude has so many amazing benefits it would take another post to list. DON’T trust me on this one. Try it for yourself.
Last post we discussed the importance of having fortifications of positivity in your life. If you did not read that post, I cannot stress enough the importance of doing so. In this post we are going to talk about winning the toughest war you have, the one in your own head. It is composed of many different battles. It is also a war without end. This may sound rather fatalistic, but that does not make it any less true. As with so many things in life, such as our diet and our fitness, we do not ever have them ‘handled’. Even if we get to a state of satisfaction with these areas, if we stop working on them they will not stay the same. If you get your body into great physical shape and then cease going to the gym or being physically active, your body will not stay in that state. After my heart surgery I can attest to that.
Here is the good news. Once you reach a state of accomplishment, it is easier to maintain than it was to get there. It his great book, The Art of War, Sun Tzu reminds us of the advantages of fighting from a higher elevation than our enemies. When you are climbing the hill in any journey it is difficult. That could be trying to get your weight under control. It could be reducing your stress. Climbing that hill is hard. Here is the good part, when you are on top of the hill, staying there is a lot easier than getting there.
You may be wondering what exactly is he getting at with all of this talk about fighting and wars. My life is not that bad. Les Brown, one of my favorite speakers, said “Life is a fight for territory.” If you do not control your life and what it consists of, someone will be more than happy to do that for you. There is no greater example of this than what is in your own head. I am often asked, “How can you be so positive all of the time?” or “What can I do to be more positive like you?” Two great items to get to here.
First, if you want to be ‘positive like me’, know it is something that will take years and years of effort. Before you say to yourself, “That sounds way too difficult.” Ask yourself what is the alternative? Your thoughts create your emotions. Do you know what your emotions are? They are your life. In short, how you feel is your life. Can you have a good run of luck and still feel sad and lonely? Sure can. How many celebrities have all of the fame, fortune and followers you can imagine, yet commit suicide? Have you ever seen some of the poorest people in third world countries who seem to have a grin permanently affixed to their face? Of course we have. Life is truly an inner game. Without mastering your mind and emotions, you will be at the mercy of them, and of life in general.
I fought the uphill battle against my emotions. I fought against the negativity. I fought against the seasonal depression I suffer from. I fought against the sadness of losing loved ones. I fought against defeats in business and my career. Want to fight uphill? Become an independent author trying to sell as many books so you can reach as many souls as you can. When I started, I was fighting uphill. These emotions had a strategic advantage. They had been there my whole life and had established themselves. They were at the top of the mountain. Many times, they won the battle. I slipped into depression. I lost my temper. I felt defeated. I kept fighting. With every loss, I learned. Eventually, I found myself winning battles and climbing that mountain.
Now I find myself at the top of the mountain in this area, so to speak. Does that mean I am positive all of the time? No. If you do not believe that, ask my lovely lady Margie. She will definitely tell you I have my dark moments. What it does mean is that those moments are now fighting uphill to defeat me, instead of the other way around. With the tools and strategies I have learned climbing the hill, I can usually fend them off with little or no damage. Do they knock me off the top every now and again? You bet. They say the wolf on top of the hill is never as hungry as the wolf climbing the hill. Sorry to use all of these cliches, but they do help paint a more accurate picture. These negative emotions, the depressing thoughts, the anger, they used to rule me. Now they want that power back.
It is said that those who lack power will fight to achieve it, and those who have power will fight to maintain it. The same holds true for the battle for your mind. Those negative emotions will be ever fighting to overpower you. Make sure they are fighting uphill. Last year, I released my third book and it was a flop. As an author, I had two successful books up to that point and felt like I was on the top of the mountain. I thought for sure the sharing of my recent health struggles and brief flirtation with death would really connect with people. I was wrong. What did those voices in my head start to tell me? “You are not a very good author.” “Nobody wants to hear what you have to say.” “Nobody really cares about your journey.” For a while it knocked me off the top of the mountain. What it didn’t do was keep me there.
If you are fighting uphill at anything in life right now, know that you will have to take some defeats along the way. That doesn’t mean you failed. It means you are climbing the hill. It means you have more to learn. Also know, when you get to the top of the hill it will be easier, but it will not be over. In the example of my third book failing to connect as I had hoped, I had tools and strategies that picked me up and helped me continue to fight. I had friends that encouraged me with what they enjoyed about my writing. I had my beautiful lady who not only literally picked me up when I was down, but fights along side of me. I have the very tools and strategies I wrote about in my first two books and talk about in the third that helped me survive death. They certainly can help me get back to the top of the mountain again.
In your own life, the time to prepare and conquer your mindset is now. Fight those inner demons. It is not easy, but it is worth it. Once you are on the top of the mountain, it will be easier. You will be able to not become stressed when things do not go your way. You will be able to maintain an attitude of gratitude (which is a great tool by the way) even in times of struggle. You will become your own hero.
Today, at least in part of the country, we celebrate Sweetest Day. It is a holiday that started in Ohio in 1921. It was started as a way to encourage women to treat their male romantic partners with sweets and candy. This really wouldn’t work in my case as I am not a huge fan of sweets and candy. This is a good thing when you live with a woman who is an amazing baker. I fear if I was a big fan, I would be bigger than my house right now. The holiday has expanded in recent years to include showing love and appreciation to anyone in your life. This includes family, friends as well as significant others.
I am going to take it one step further. I think we should show love and appreciation for everything sweet in our life. Right now, I am sitting in the sun, with a nice cup of coffee typing away. To me, this is a very sweet situation. I was recently asked to speak in front of a congregation for a church I do not even attend. That was also pretty sweet. I have a job that pays me a pretty good wage. Not exactly what I want to be doing, but still it is pretty sweet that I am employed. I have great friends that care about me. I have three books that I can use to reach and inspire people I do not even know. This particular blog is viewed by over 100,000 people in over 200 countries. That is sweet!
Many people just cynically say things like, “Oh, that is just a Hallmark holiday.” As a note, although the holiday started in 1921, Hallmark did not start making Sweetest Day cards until the 1960s. I am sure confectionaries and floral shops have a vested interest in keeping holidays like this alive, but who cares? Instead of dismissing something as an example of corporate greed, why not put it to use in our own lives? Why not use this holiday to fill our lives with more joy and love?
Here is another way to do so. In addition to thinking of all the things that may be sweet in your life, how about thinking of how many different ways things are sweet? Above are pictures of my beautiful lady, Margie. How many ways is she sweet? In addition to the fact that she is often covered in powdered sugar from baking, there are so many ways she is sweet. The first picture is of her sweet smile. It always melts my heart and brings a smile to it as well. The second is one of the million silly faces she makes. Not only does she always look cute as can be, but I am happy she shares them with me. That is quite sweet! The third one reminds me of her sweet kisses. Some of the best medicine that money can’t even buy! Sweeter kisses? I don’t know of any. The fourth and last picture is of her after one of her tough workouts that she does. Keeping herself healthy and working hard on herself? That is sweet indeed! Those were just 4 things about my amazing lady. I would share more, but I am already going to be in trouble for posting these four pictures. There are so many sweet things about her, I could go on for hours. That, in and of itself, is something sweet!
It doesn’t have to be your significant other. It can be your child, your friend. It can be a coworker or someone who means a lot to you. Here is the great thing, it doesn’t even have to be a person! It can be your favorite place to relax. It can be a park or beach you really like. It can be your favorite book. It can be your favorite coffee. There are so many things in life that are sweet. If we think about even a few of them and ponder what we love and appreciate about them, guess how we will be feeling? You guessed it, pretty sweet! I would love to hear some of what you find sweet in your life! Forget the cynical view of a Hallmark holiday. Use this to fill your heart with love, appreciation and gratitude!
One of the saddest things that seems to happen as we age is that we lose an appreciation for the magic and beauty of life. It is no surprise. When we are young, most of the things we are exposed to offer an encouraging motif. Think of children’s programing. Most of it is a blend of encouragement of teaching and encouraging. I recall shows like Sesame Street and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood when I was young. I learned a lot, but there were also positive messages about myself, others and the world around me.
What happens as we get older? What we are exposed to takes a decidedly negative shift. News, crime shows, content on the internet and even that sent to our phones. Is the answer to stop using technology? Limiting our use of it may help somewhat, but that will not save us from interacting with other people. What are these other people exposed to? That’s right. The same negative influences we just mentioned. If you even attempt to be a light in this dark world, you will often be looked at as strange, weird or delusional. People will tell you things such as “You are looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.” or my favorite, “You just have your head in the sand. Can’t you see how bad the world is?”
What can we do to remedy this malady? Start doing something we may have stopped doing in childhood. That is looking for the beauty and magic that is all around us! It may not get the press and attention, but it is there. On social media, try subscribing to positive news stories and motivational pages. On your cell phone, download apps that send you motivational quotes everyday. These things really do exist! As for the sunshine-challenged people we share the planet with? Know most of them have just lost their ability to see the magic all around them. When they give you a crazy look or attack you, pity them. There life is one stuck in the darkness. In addition, add people who have the opposite mindset. Spend as much time around them as possible!
When you are looking to improve your life, it is always easer to add the positive than to eliminate the negative. You might want to read that line again. If you are trying to eat healthier, it would be easier to add a healthy meal than to starve yourself of meals that are not so healthy. The more you fill up on healthy food, the less room you will have for junk food. The same is true with everything in life. The more time you spend reading or listening to something inspiring is that much less time you could find yourself exposed to negativity. Adding smiles? Less time frowning. One minute of laughter? 60 seconds less of anger!
In regards to today’s post, spend more time actively looking for beautiful things in life. The more time you spend doing so, the less time you will spend noticing and dwelling on the negative. That doesn’t mean you are ‘burying your head in the sand’ and pretending they don’t exist. No, you are simply choosing not to dwell on them. As an example, above is my coffee as it was served to me at the pick up window at Starbucks. Not sure which employee took the time to do this, but it added a little brightness to my day. As I was in that sunny mood, I noticed the dandelion growing through a crack in the pavement right next to a dumpster. Proof that there is always a little light in the darkness. When we are children, we don’t have to look for the magic. It seems to show up at every turn. As adults, we need to train ourselves to get back to that. This may mean a little concentrated effort searching for the beauty in life. Done enough, it will start to show up in your life everywhere.
Another great idea is to keep images around you that remind you of the beauty you have and are currently experiencing in your own life. Above is a sample of mine. Great times with the beautiful love of my life, Margie. My mom celebrating Octoberfest. There is fun times watching a pig race at the Wisconsin State Fair and a very beautiful and loving sentiment that Margie wrote in the sand while we were enjoying time away in Jamaica. This not only reminds me of the beauty and magic in my life, it adds what could be the most powerful thing to create an amazing life. That one thing is gratitude. How could I not be grateful for all of these things? Being grateful and looking for all the beauty that is around us will positively transform our lives. Next post we will learn how to take all of this information and not only help others transform their lives, but create an almost automatic way to fill our lives with these things! Please come back tomorrow to learn all of that!
Here is a point worth pondering. Many of us who are in survival mode fail to recognize, or take advantage of, the opportunities to do good. If your focus is to just wake up, go to work and pay the bills, you are missing out on a large portion of life. My fourth book, which will be released late 2023/early 2024, will be focusing on switching our life from surviving to thriving. One of the best ways to do that is by acting and not reacting to life. If you assume that if you are not doing harm, you are therefore doing good, that is only half of the story.
It was this very thought that gave me a brilliant idea. I was searching for how to put my gift to the best use. As an author and writer, the ways in which I can do good seemed somewhat limited. As quickly as that thought came, it was replaced by one that removed those limits. My good did not have to be limited to donating books to local cancer centers. Although that was one of the more rewarding aspects of my writing career. No, by using the products I had created, I was able to raise money for two wonderful causes.
I hosted a book signing. 100% of the profits from the sale of my books was given as a donation to two wonderful local charities. This, along with money from donation buckets we had set up and a generous donation from the establishment hosting the event, allowed us to really make a difference. When all was said and done, we were able to donate $250 to W.I.S.H. (Women Initiate self-healing and hope) Which is a group that supports victims of domestic violence by hosting support meetings as well as providing them some essentials needed for these ladies who were forced to start their lives over.
In addition, we were able to donate another $250 to Rescue Gang. This is a group that not only rescues animals, provides them the medical attention they need, but also has a network of foster families that care for these animals until a forever home can be found for them. It is sad that animals cannot raise their voices for help, and that we must serve as that voice.
Handing over checks to these two amazing and hard-working ladies (Thank you Holly and Jennifer) was a very rewarding experience. It did open my eyes to the many possibilities still out there. Not only for me, but for you as well. What is your gift? Have you discovered all of the ways in which you can use it? If you are a person that does siding, you could not only assist on helping to provide siding to a local church, but could donate a portion of your sales to help other causes near and dear to your heart. You could reserve a spot of your delivery truck or website to a deserving local charity. Again, the possibilities are endless. Not only are the ways to help countless, so are the groups that need our help. My challenge for you today is to find one of the groups you passionately believe in and then brainstorm on ways you can use your gifts and talents to help them. Working together, we can make a big difference in supporting those who make our world a better place.
This post will share with a train you can hop aboard and ride into a more positive and fulfilling life! The great thing is this train runs in your neighborhood and it runs everyday. You can catch it no matter who you are. A ticket to this train? It costs nothing other than a bit of your time!
This idea came from a very close source, my lovely Margie. Margie, my mother and I were returning from a nice lunch when we were stopped by a train. My mother expressed frustration that she always seemed to find herself being stopped by trains. We have all been there. It seems to happen when we are in a hurry.
Being stopped by a train when you really have somewhere to be, or when nature is calling, can have you feeling like the fellow above we can’t control when a train comes, and in some cases, we can’t even go around them. It can leave you feeling exasperated and quiet helpless. Luckily, my lovely lady had a brilliant solution!
Margie, who was in the back seat, said, “I use the time I wait for trains to focus on what I’m grateful for.” As the cars rolled by all three of us pondered this. After what seemed to be an eternity, my mom mentioned, “This is one long train!” After a few seconds of reflection, I countered, “Maybe it is because all of us have so much to be grateful for?” We all concured and thought of the blessings in our life as the cars rolled by.
This may seem like a simple and insignificant action,but it accomplishes two wonderful things at once. First, it adds an extra moment of focusing on everything that we have in our lives. This, by default, removes 60 seconds of focusing on what we lack. The second amazing thing focusing on what you have to be grateful for while stopped by a train does is to transform a formerly stressful situation into a moment of self-care. You will leave the train crossing feeling happier and more abundant than when the flashing red lights started and the gates came down.
Many of us feel a mid-week slump. The stress of the work week is getting to us. Perhaps a lack of sleep is beginning to stack up. How do we counter these feelings? By pausing for a little Wednesday gratitude. Switching our focus from how tired and exhausted we may feel, to what we have to be grateful for will energize us and get us back in the game.
Gratitude can do many things. It will force us to breathe and bring us a moment of inner peace. That is very important in the middle of the week. It will also remind us of how amazing our life trulyis. Even if it is just being able to read these words of encouragement and inspiration.
If you really want to have a bonus, pick one, or several, people and share gratitude with them. You could do this by telling them why you are grateful for them, or even asking what they are grateful for. Creating an atmosphere of gratitude will only improve your life as we finish out the week!
