Tag: Gratitude

WANT TO IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? USE GRATITUDE’S TWIN SISTER! 👧

I heard something the other day that will be in my upcoming fourth book. I wanted to give you an abridged version here today. When it comes to improving our own lives, we have spoke volumes about adopting an attitude of gratitude. This is for good reason. You hear it so much it almost sounds cliche. The reason you hear it so much is because it works. We recently even discovered a new and almost effortless way to do this. That was creating an album of pictures (either a photo album or in your phone) that reminds you of what you are grateful for. Then, all you have to do is scroll through the pictures and you start to feel grateful.

This is technically not a post about gratitude. No, it is about gratitude’s twin sister. What are we talking about here? Let me explain. Gratitude works wonders on our relationship with ourselves, but what about our relationships with others? Wouldn’t it be great if there was a magic wand for improving them? There is and it is easy to use and will work on any relationship. Looking to deepen your love with your spouse? This will work. Looking to be on your cranky boss’s good side? It works for that too. How about conveying positive feelings to a friend? This is perfect for that! The more you get in the habit of using this skill, the more polished you will become at it and the more powerful it will work.

The secret power we are discussing, and gratitude’s twin sister, is appreciation. When you appreciate someone, you are telling them why you are grateful for them. This is not to be confused with flattery. That is false praise, usually delivered in hopes of gaining favor. You might think people can’t tell the difference. They can and nobody likes flattery. Appreciation is a genuine expression of gratitude for another person. Letting someone know you are grateful for them and exactly why is so powerful it can deepen the strongest love and soften the hardest heart.

Delivering appreciation is an art form. It takes a certain finesse. Using the right tone and body language. Maintaining eye contact without being creepy about it. This will all come with practice. Do not worry about being perfect. Appreciation is so rare today it is always treasured. Just be genuine and the results will be amazing. We are all out here trying our best and working hard. For someone to notice and let us know means the world.

When you start using genuine appreciation, I can promise you that every relationship in your life will improve. Who would not want that in life? When you think how interconnected we are in life, it is important to let others know how much they mean and how grateful we are for them. Start expressing appreciation today. Make it genuine. Make it sincere and it will change you life.

A EASY, NEW PATH TO GRATITUDE 🙏

Last post we discussed the single best self-improvement activity you can do. If you haven’t read that post, I recommend giving it a look. In my own life, gratitude has been one of, if not the, most powerful tools to help me live an amazing life. If you spend any time at all in the self-improvement arena, you have no doubt heard a lot about gratitude. It had a prominent role in the movie The Secret. For good reason. Gratitude can bring you peace. It can take you from feeling like you are constantly chasing the next thing, to feeling abundant and happy. That is without any change in outside circumstances. After developing an attitude of gratitude, even if things do go south, you will be able to weather them a lot better.

If gratitude is so powerful (it is) then why are we not all using it? If gratitude can transform our lives in so many positive ways (it can) how come everyone is not engaged in a ritual that will bring more gratitude into their lives. One of the reasons is the methods that have been suggested. They can seem labor intensive. Really, for the return they offer it is well worth it. Let us consider doing a gratitude journal. It is probably the most suggested activity. I even wrote a section about it in my second book, Living the Dream. You basically write 3 to 5 things you are grateful for every day and why you are grateful for them. This not only gives you the initial hit of dopamine, the feel good chemical in the brain, but rewires your brain. Knowing that you will be sitting down to write this list has your mind subconsciously on the lookout for things that you are grateful for to write down. This is a very good thing.

The problem with this method is that in a world where everyone is super busy and wants everything yesterday, taking 5 minutes to write in a journal or a notebook can seem impossible. This can seem like too much work even for people who spend hours scrolling through their phone. That brings very little, if any, positive things into their lives. This, however, is the secret to our new method. Sense we seem addicted to scrolling mindlessly, let us use it to our advantage! All you will need for this activity is a cell phone and an urge to feel more grateful.

Here is the secret method. In your gallery of pictures, create a separate album of pictures of things you are grateful for. This could be your spouse, your family, your dog, your car, a beautiful sunset or anything else that you are grateful for. Had a great vacation? Throw a picture of that in there. Love a particular restaurant? How about a picture of you there? Someone who just makes you smile by the thought of them? Maybe a picture of them or even both of you together? You could even have pictures of quotes that remind you to be grateful. The possibilities are endless. Then, in one of your scrolling sessions, open the album and look at the pictures. Much like the journal, done long enough it should train your brain to think of and look for things to be grateful for to add to this album. Even if you like other forms of gratitude, this would be a great one to add. I know I am going to start an album as soon as I finish writing this post. My first picture will be of Margie and I in Jamaica for the first time. I was able to make one of her dreams come true and I am grateful for that. Not to mention, I am grateful for her and the love we share.

I encourage you to create a grateful picture album on your phone today. The coffee shop I am writing this in is about to close which will force me to stop writing, go home and get some things done and start working on my gratitude album! What will be some of the pictures in your album? What are you grateful for? Please share your answers in the comments below.

IF YOU WIN THIS RACE, YOU STILL LOSE 😢

I heard Myles Munroe say something the other day that really resonated with me. “Even if you win the rat race, you are still a rat.” How many of us spend our lives pushing for more? The ironic thing is that we are pushing for more of the wrong things. Are we looking for more time with those we love? No. Are we pushing for more health and vitality? Usually not. In modern society it is all about who has the most and who looks the best. Can you imagine what would happen if you had both of these? Really imagine it for a second. You are the wealthiest and best looking person on the planet. Now what?

You could buy a nice house and car. You could vacation and live wherever you like. Everything would be perfect right? Not so much. You would constantly be wondering if people really cared for you or was it just for you looks and money. You would doubt everyone’s love for you. In some cases, this would be a legitimate concern. You may fear losing your wealth and looks. “Is my hair thinning?” “Does the scale really say I gained that much weight?” “My investments lost how much?” You may even be concerned that someone may have become wealthier or better looking than you. Sounds shallow, but if that is your goal, it may also be your concern.

The secret to winning the rat race is to get out of it. I am not advocating quitting your job and wandering around aimlessly. Instead, focus on purpose and power in your life. When I talk about power, I do not mean in the corporate or material sense. Power over yourself. Power as in being a positive influence for good in the world. Create that kind of power. Speaking of good in the world, altruism is a great way to overcome the rat race. The helping of others can give us the purpose that can set us free.

There are two more things that can help you leave the rat race behind. We speak about them here ad nauseam, but that is because they are so powerful. The first one you probably guessed is gratitude. Instead of striving to obtain all of the things you do not have, try feeling thankful for all you do have. This simple shift will have a host of benefits. It will have you feeling abundance instead of lack. It will slow life down and bring you a great deal of joy. It will also lead you to a greater deal of inner peace. Which leads us to our next point. If you still feel the need to work towards something, make that something peace. Find what gives you inner peace and not what satisfies a desire.

In our point about winning the rat race, you can see it is really no win at all. It will leave you with a life of stress, doubt and chaos. This is not to say that you should not try to improve your life or your standing. Absolutely do that. Just do not do it at the detriment of what is truly important. You should enjoy your journey and it should not be a race. In the race to an amazing life, let us all cheer for each other to win. Let us all work together to help everyone find gratitude and inner peace.

THE FALL BEGINS 🍁

Do you know that feeling when you are on the top of the rollercoaster and it is just about to drop down? You know you are just seconds from having your stomach temporarily relocating in your throat. This is the same feeling I get when fall comes. I know we are only a short time away from freezing temperatures and nasty driving conditions. I am doing my best to find creative ways to embrace the cooler weather, but on any given day I would rather be sitting on a beach under a palm tree. Still, my beautiful lady loves fall. We are even planning a fall wedding in the future. I am going to have to learn to like it. Although, celebrating our anniversary in the Maldives would not be a bad plan.

The reason I bring this up, is that we all have challenges in life. It is our perception of them that determines their degree of difficulty. I know this intellectually. It is time I start applying it emotionally. Therefore, I have decided to be grateful for the cold weather. When I made this decision, a lot of positive things about that season came to mind. I tend to stay home more. For me, this means more time with the most beautiful woman in the world (I might be biased) and delicious meals she creates. It gives me time to write more. There is no better way to strengthen our resolve than when it is challenged. It is easy for me to be happy sitting under that palm tree, but what about when it is below zero and I have a snow shovel in my hand?

Will this have me looking forward to the temperatures dropping? Not at all. What it will do is strengthen my ability to find what I should be grateful for in any situation. It will allow me to finally complete my fourth book. We will reach the milestone of 1000 days straight putting out content. Whatever is challenging you in your life, find ways to put it to work for you. I would love to hear how all of you do this.

WHAT ARE YOUR MOMENTS? 😊

I love to fill my day with moments that make me smile. Better yet, I like to be fully aware and appreciate those moments. Too often we fail to understand the value of simple moments of joy until they are gone. This is just one of many reasons to be present during your day.

When we are not slaves to distraction, we can feel the joy in our hearts that these simple moments bring. Another way is to reflect on moments in your day that bring you joy. As I’m writing this, I am doing just that. Let me tell you, it is making me smile just thinking about, and being grateful for them.

Some of these moments for me are waking up to see comments from readers of this site like you. It is that first sip of coffee in the morning. One of my favorites is coming home from work and first setting eyes on my beautiful fiance. What are your simple moments of joy and how can you better appreciate them?

HOW TO STAY IN GRATITUDE 🙏

All of us here know the importance of gratitude. It can keep you in the vibration of having enough and feeling… well.. grateful. It also can help you attract what you desire quickly and efficiently.

Staying in gratitude can be a bit tricky. Especially when life does not go according to plan. There have been multiple times I’ve went to Starbucks and they haven’t had coffee. Can you imagine? The biggest coffee chain in the world, and no coffee. I’ve been on my way to work and had my exhaust ripped off by a pile of ice. You wake up to discover your allergies didn’t feel like staying at home today.

What are all these situations? First world problems. What do I mean? I can afford to go to a coffee shop and get a cup of coffee. Hell, I have access to clean water to make coffee. Even the the exhaust fix was expensive, I have a car and the job I was going to. I live where there is allergy medicine. Often the world gives us these challenges to remind us how good we have it most of the time. If you think your situation is bad, look around, someone always has it worse.

FIRST THING TO BE THANKFUL FOR 🙏

How often do we find ourselves complaining about our lives and forgetting to be thankful we have one? It is the middle of the week. Let us take a deep breath, refocus, and be grateful for the life we have. Even if our life has challenges, the fact that we are still here  allows us to face them and conquer them. Let us be grateful for the life we have today.

WHAT DEFINES OUR CHARACTER 🤔

Many people shy away from the fires of life. That is to be understood. Nobody really enjoys discomfort. What you must consider is what discomfort and challenges do in our life. They provide us opportunities that comfort and ease simply cannot. You grow exponentially more during difficult times than you do when life is easy. You also display to others your true character.

Everyone can be patient, helpful and happy when the sun is shinning and all of the bills are paid. Can you still have that kindness and compassion when life is not going so well? Can you still treat others as you would want them to treat you when life is beating you down? If you can, it speaks volumes about you and your character. This is something that you could never display unless you face challenges and adversity. Next time life seems to descend into chaos, ask yourself one very important question, “How am I going to walk through this fire?” If you are really brave, you can ask a follow up question, “What will that say about me?”

Be grateful for the challenges. They help us to grow and to demonstrate to the world the strength of our character. You can dislike the challenge and still be grateful for the opportunity.

2 STEPS TO A GREAT WEEKEND 👍

This is one of those things that can be all too easily dismissed on the surface. It is so powerful, I do not want you to miss it. Not only is this an over-arching formula to live an amazing life, but it can be broken down to increase your joy and satisfaction in any aspect of your life. We constantly discuss the power of gratitude on this site, but it deserves another look. In fact, it is so powerful that every time you are feeling down, you should give it another look.

How easy it is to focus on what we lack. Society seems to have pushed this narrative. You always should want more. While it is true that you should always want more out of yourself and your life, in terms of bettering them, it should not be at the expense of appreciating what you have. Why is this so important? Forget the law of attraction, forget the spiritual reasons, let us look at this practically today. There are many important reasons that fit into the two previous mentioned categories, I assure you. Today, we are just going to look at how this impacts our everyday world and why it could be so powerful.

Let us begin by asking a question, “How does it feel when you stop and think about everything you want but do not have? Feel free to take a pause from reading this and try it for yourself. If you do not want to take the time to do that, I will let you in on a not-so-secret, it feels terrible. You feel poor. You feel like your life is not complete. You feel like you need more. Businesses like you to feel this way. It keeps you as a passionate consumer. That is why many commercials and ads give you the feeling that your life would not be complete without product x or y. That is nothing but nonsense.

Now let us flip the script here. How does it feel when you focus on everything you are fortunate enough to have in life, even though it may not be exactly what you want? Your car may not be that Bugatti you want, but you have a vehicle that gets you from point A to Point B. You may not be working in your dream job, but you have a way to make income and pay the bills. In the 1930s, this would have been a dream for many. Your relationship can be a great source of anger or frustration at times. Still, you must realize that is because you have someone you love and care for so deeply that they can affect your emotions in such a powerful way. When you focus on all you have, you start to feel prosperous and blessed. There is no greater feeling in the world. Here is the awesome part – no matter what shape your life is in, you can use this formula. There is always, and I mean always, something to be grateful for.

If you are still having problems getting into a state of gratitude, try looking at some of those who would give anything to trade places with you. Boss stressing you out? Talk to someone who is desperately trying to find a job. Your house seems to be experiencing one issue after another? Walk through a homeless camp. In today’s world we still have issues of war, famine and genocide. Trust me when I tell you that our lives are not that bad.

As you look to improve yourself and your lot in life, remember to focus on all that you already have. Having a heart filled with gratitude will decrease your stress and increase your joy quicker and more powerfully than anything else I know.

10 SIGNS YOU ARE DOING WELL IN LIFE 🧘‍♀️

This post is coming out on a Sunday. By this evening many of us will begin to stress about things that really do not matter. It would serve us well to take a hard look at the list above and realize that life is a lot better than we realize. Most of us have most, if not all, of the things on that list. They may seem trivial, or be taken for granted, but imagine doing without them. Each one is a huge blessing.

In a time when the world is facing war and genocide, many would give anything to have this complete list. Most of what we stress about is really not that pressing. Money can be made and lost. Jobs can come and go. The things that really matter are important to recognize and be grateful for. Do this and your week will be off to a wonderful start.