Tag: Gratitude

I COULD NOT DO IT ALONE 😊

Today is the 999th day in a row we have posted content on this website. That means tomorrow is day 1000! It was an arbitrary goal set almost 3 years ago. When it was set, there were no thoughts of how long that actually was. Simple math could have shown it was a lot more of a journey than it seemed.

Some of the challenges faced in maintaining this content were vacation in the Bahamas. Yes, that doesn’t sound like much of an obstacle. Let me tell you, when you have to write before you can try the buffet or swim in turquoise water, it is a challenge. There of course were health challenges. Allergies, a cold, a Dislocated shoulder to name a few. There were also times I had no idea what to write about.

That is why it is so important to surround yourself with people who not only encourage and assist you with your goal, but hold you accountable to it. A debt is owed to so many. My friends Mary and Eduardo who are so kind as to share these posts on their social media. My mother who shares ideas of subjects she would like to hear discussed. This is very helpful. Everyone who engages through comments, likes and other manners. Even my friends in the great country of Greenland who give me other goals to reach.

A very special amount of gratitude to this lovely lady, my fiancee Margie. She not only provides the occasional idea for me to write about, but puts up with all of my crazy thoughts as a writer. She also does her best to make sure I get enough rest, and keeps my belly full of delicious food.

Each one of these amazing people helped this site reach 1000 days in a row of content. Without them, it would have been far more difficult, if not impossible. No great feat is accomplished alone. After tomorrow, I look forward to setting my sights on the next horizon. I would be honored if all of you would join us as we continue to help each other become the best version of ourselves and discover the secrets to an amazing life.

2 SPECIAL DAYS IN ONE! ✌️

Today, in the Northern hemisphere, it is the first day of spring. I am normally excited for this day as I am really against all things winter. This year has been especially tough. My lovely lady and I were unable to get away as we are saving for our wedding. Making through an entire cold and gloomy winter without an escape to the tropics is quite difficult for this author. Make no mistake, it will not be warm and sunny because the calendar said it is spring. This I know. Somehow, it just is a little easier mentally knowing that it is not that far away. As I write this, I sit in a warm coffee shop staring out at a gloomy day filled with freezing rain. I know, sunshine and flowers are right around the corner.

The second thing I discovered is that it is national Neil Day. I cannot make this up. I did not realize there is such a thing. The fact that it falls on the first day of spring prompted me to take the day off of work. I am going to relax and spend the entire day with the lady I love. That gives me two fun things to celebrate. One of the great keys of life is always having something to celebrate. It not only puts you in a good mood, and allows you to be creative, but it helps you focus on being grateful as well.

To assist in that endeavor I made a small purchase. It was a desktop calendar that gives you a holiday on every day of the year! If you combine that with a day by day motivational calendar, you got a good start to any day! For just a few dollars, every day you will be greeted with a different holiday and a fun picture. You could always look them up online, but I feel it is a lot easier when it is hanging right on the wall. What is your favorite holiday? What new holidays could you discover and celebrate?

LET US CELEBRATE TOGETHER 🙌

Today is International Client Day. A celebration of all the people that make your business possible. If I am being honest, I think of the people that follow this site, or purchase my books, more as a family than clients. A like-minded community of individuals striving for a better life and to become the best version of themselves.

I am certainly grateful for every person who has ever read a word here. You are part of the family. Even more impactful are those who comment. Sharing your thoughts and opinions add quality and content to what we all share and learn here. Whether that is on this very site, in our Facebook group or anywhere else. In places such as Italy, Lebanon and England I have received great advice on books to read, people to listen to and thoughts to ponder.

All of our family, which some may call ‘clients’ I am eternally grateful! Thank you for sharing this journey with me!

THE GREATEST GIFT 🎁

It is indeed a great gift to let someone know how much you appreciate them being in your life. How often do we do this? You deserve the great feeling of making someone feel appreciated. If we are being honest, we all have quirks that can make us a challenge to be around on any given day. Myself included. Therefore, our true friends deserve the feeling of appreciation for all they do, and all they put up with.

The cool thing about making people feel appreciated is that it is a win/win situation. As we described above, you both get that feel good emotions, but there is even more. In today’s world of technology, the ways you can convey this message are endless. You can of course get together for dinner or a cup of coffee and convey it personally. That is the most heartfelt. If this feels a bit awkward at first, there are a million other options.

You can send someone a text. Maybe a message on social media? You could even post something on their social media page so everyone knows how much you appreciate them. One of the most unique ways is to send them a greeting card in the mail. For the price of that cup of coffee, you can purchase a card and stamp and send them some well wishes. The great thing about sending a message this way is that it is there in black and white. They can review it over and over again. Bringing joy to their hearts several times.

Is there someone in your life you really appreciate? How could you tell them? You could even choose multiple options. You could also send appreciation to several people. This practice will dramatically improve your life and theirs! Again, it is a win/win situation.

DEPRIVATION LEADS TO JOY 😊

This phrase may seem counterintuitive. With many observing Lent, I thought discussing fasting and sacrifice would be prudent. Many people fail to see the point of doing without. Aside from the spiritual benefits, there are some great self-improvement benefits as well. We will look at a major one that may have you rethinking how you look at giving up things.

I use the analogy of being stranded in the desert. You have no food, very little water. It is hot during the day and cold at night. In a very short time, things can get dangerous. Let’s imagine you make it  3 days and are suddenly rescued. All your rescuer had with them is water and saltine crackers. I can tell you, that will be one of the best meals you have ever had.

If I were to offer you those same two items at an “all you can eat buffet” How much would you enjoy them? For most of us in the industrialized world life is pretty much an all– you-can-eat buffet. We have a roof over our heads, clean running water, food and a place to sleep. We don’t think of these as luxurious, but take any of them away for even a day and our opinion would certainly change.

That is why fasting different things for a period helps increase our appreciation for them. This could include eating sugar,drinking coffee, or even your spouse. There is great truth to the saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I can personally attest to this. When I walk through the door after a hard days work, my lovely Margie is that much more beautiful than when I left her that morning.

How about you? Is there something you could try doing without to renew your feelings of appreciation for it?

HOW IS YOUR BALANCE? ⚖️

A quick reminder to create a balance in your life. We hear a lot about work/ life balance. We also hear a lot about how important it is to hustle, or grind. Then, we are also told how important it is to practice self-care and focus on creating joy in our life.

Which one of these is true? I believe they all are. You must have work life balance. That doesn’t always mean things will be 50/50. Some days you might have to work more. Some days are there to relax. Just make sure you have an ample supply of both.

Even on the days that have focused effort, make sure you are grateful and happy for how far you have come. You can both be satisfied with your life so far while still wanting more. Remember, without enough balance, anything just falls down. Life is the same way.

CELEBRATE YOUR WOMEN TODAY!!🤵‍♀

Today is international women’s day! Time to celebrate all of those amazing ladies in your life. It can be family, spouse, friends, best friends, soul friends or any special woman in your life. I have been blessed to surround myself with so many smart, creative and wonderful women who have made my life better. In going to take a second to celebrate just a few, but know there are so many more and i appreciate you all!

First, in the picture above is my mother. Mothers are so important it only makes sense to celebrate them as often as we can. My mother and I do a great many things together. We go for walks, coffee and do the occasional 5k. She also gives me feedback on my writing! I’m very grateful to have her.

There is of course Margie, the love of my life. I could, and have done an entire post about all of the amazing things she brings to my life. On top of that, she is an amazing mother herself. Choosing the right partner can make all of the difference in life. That is why I am so excited to have her become Mrs. Neil next year!

Above are some truly amazing women. My sister Michelle! Margie’s daughter Siraya with whom she has started a business. My good friends Lisa, Sara,Jenny and my soul friend Shannon! All of which have added a lot to my life.

Special shout out to the wonderful women who read this blog. I would love to hear from you and where you are from. Feel free to show your pride in the comments below. Don’t forget to give appreciation to the women in your life today. I would suggest continuing it every day!

TRY JUST ONE ☝️

Everyone seems to be looking for the magic secret to their best life. Even the name of this website is Secret2anamazinglife.com. This may sound rather cliche, but success is really an inner game. The most powerful thing you can do is control your mind and control your emotions. That may sound simple on the surface, but it is far from easy. Most of us were not told this was even an option growing up. We were taught we were at the mercy of both our thoughts and emotions. That may be the case, but it is because we gave up that control to them.

A powerful and successful life is one were we can put our thoughts and emotions to work for us. The million dollar question is how do we get control over our thoughts and emotions? It is the small habits we do daily. It takes time. You have lived your whole life believing that outside circumstances determine how you feel and what you think. This does not have to be the case. Look at the items listed in the photo above. Doing any one of these can help you regain control over your life. Being present is something that is truly missing. We either are worried about the future, regretting the past, or just have our heads buried in our phones being distracted. Then we wake up one day wondering where all the time has went.

Try using the items as a daily checklist. See how many you can get in one day. Do not stress over getting them all, but try to see how many you can get. Being grateful is one of the ones I would suggest starting with. It makes a huge difference. It is impossible to experience a negative emotion while being grateful at the same time. That is a version of ‘addition by subtraction’. The more time you spend being grateful, the less time you will spend in a negative emotional state. One way you can start to take control over your emotional state.

I would love to know how you take control over your thoughts and feelings. Can you see the power in remaining calm when everything else is in chaos? Share your answers in the comments below.

GET LOST… FOR YOUR OWN GOOD 👍

For a man who has a heart that belongs in the tropics, but lives where winter lasts about 9 months, this is a very real possibility. Every morning (between 4am and 5am) when I am on the way to work thoughts like this pass through my mind. I routinely pass a little diner that Margie and I love going to. The thought often pops into my mind, “I could just pull over, call into work and have a nice plate of French toast.” Then I think of how I need to work to be able to afford French toast and I drive on.

Last post we spoke about how I often use my morning commute to focus on what is beautiful in my life and what I have to be grateful for. Couple this with noticing things on my route that I may have missed or failed to appreciate, and you can see how it can start your day with the right attitude. There is also something else I do on occasion that seems to help maintain my sanity during the gloomy days of winter, so I would like to share it with all of you. Do note, it does not have to be gloomy, or even winter, to use this method.

Above is a picture of me. Note the layers I am wearing for winter. I am lost in thought. This was taken during a brief break during a writing session. If I recall correctly, I was enjoying the sunset and remembering watching the sunset over the ocean with the love of my life on vacation. It was a good relaxing moment. That is all it was, a moment. I take several of these throughout the day. It helps keep the stress level low and put a smile on my face. On the drive home, you can find me imagining all of the bare trees on either side of the road are palm trees and I am driving back to my villa overlooking the ocean. Just getting into that feeling and imagining what it would be like helps me escape from the snow, if only briefly.

I invite you to also take these mini mental vacations. Get lost in your thoughts for a while. Just make sure to keep your eyes on the road, or wait until a stop light to do so. Take moments to reflect on happy times in your life that you had, or that you are looking forward to having. It will give your brain that few seconds it could use to diffuse and reboot. It will help all of the challenges not seem so bad. I would love to hear about some of your favorite mental escapes.

NOT ORDINARY, A SECRET! 🙊

This is one of the great secrets to living an amazing life. With such focus on ‘finding happiness’, many people forget to look in one of the most obvious places. That hiding place is their own life. You might be thinking that cannot be true of your own life. You would be wrong. Even if your life is full of challenges right now, which would include 90% of us, you still can find a great deal of happiness you are missing. It can be found in things that we think are ordinary. The words that follow may sound cliche, but I urge you to stop and ponder them.

When you think of all of the things getting in your way of being happy, does it frustrate you? Do you have a strong desire just to live a more fulfilling and happy life? I think we all do. What if I were to tell you that one of the major obstacles to lasting happiness in your life is…well…you! More specifically, your mind and its tendency to be a little lazy. We are exposed to so many different bits of information that our mind (more to the point, our reticular activating system) has to filter out what is important and what is not. This can be very helpful when looking for possible danger and challenges. It can be a detriment when trying to fill our hearts with happiness.

Right now, we could be focused on a million different things. How the air feels on our skin. How different articles of clothing feel resting on our skin. How the light is casting shadows in the room. How deep we are breathing. Most of these we just take for granted. If we tried to notice everything we would go insane in a relatively short period of time. Normally, our brains are on the lookout for things that need improvement at the moment. We are just wired that way. What if, you began to balance that by adding a question you periodically ask yourself. One question that could change your life entirely. One question that could help balance the scales and begin to bring more joy and inner peace into your life.

This magical question is simply, “What can I enjoy in this situation?” There are many versions of this. You could also ask, “What is beautiful in my life right now?” Look at the cat in the picture above. It appears to be enjoying the wind, sun or maybe even the smell of tuna in the air. It has stopped to smell the roses, or again, maybe the tuna. We can walk past so many ‘rose bushes’ in our life and never stop to appreciate them. I endeavor to do this on my way to work every morning. I look to notice businesses I may have missed. I notice the plants planted along the streets. I think about the wonderful night I had with my lady, or look forward to what we are going to do after I get off of work. Not only does this change my focus, but it starts my mind in a positive state on the way to work.

One great thing about doing this is that it becomes second nature after a while. When you get into the habit of asking yourself what is beautiful or joyous in your life often enough, your brain will start to do it on its own. How long this takes will depend on your own situation. It may help to start by designating a time to ask yourself this every day. Just like my morning commute. Yours could be asking what went beautiful in your day before you fall asleep. This will not only help you get better rest, but will set your day ahead up for success. Even if you had challenges that day, those are beautiful. They can often help you appreciate the challenge-free life you might take for granted.