Last post we mentioned the quote from Tony Robbins that “What is wrong is always available. So is what is right.” Some of us have a challenge developing a grateful mindset. Doing so is the secret to living an amazing life. One of the easiest ways of doing this is to look around at the lives of those less fortunate. We do not have to look very far. The news is full of tragedy of both a personal and geographical nature. It blows my mind how upset with life some people can be. They lament how unfair life is or how hard they have it. If you can read these words, you have it better than millions of others. You are literate. That means you have the potential to learn just about anything. You have access to the internet. Which again means you can learn just about anything.
Gandhi’s thought above is a really bold statement. The late Greg Plitt, who continues to inspire, said “If you feel unmotivated to change your life, take a walk through the cancer ward at a children’s hospital.” That is an uncomfortable statement. The reason that it is so uncomfortable is that it forces us to realize how much greater our challenges can be. This is not to say whatever you are going through is not tough. Many of you are facing challenges greater than anything I have ever faced. It just reminds us that there are others who are struggling worse than us and could use our support and compassion.
Sticking with the gent from India, this is a great next step. When we see those folks who remind us that our situation could be worse. We should reach out and lend a hand. It is what will not only make their challenge a little less. It will help us gain the knowledge that even in our most challenging of times, we can be of service to others. We not only can be, but we should be. It is in doing so that we often discover our greatest gifts and talents. This can give us the confidence and purpose to make it through our own challenges. It is a win/win situation. It is how the world should be.
Last post we discussed the ever approaching and uncertainty of death. Not a really chipper subject, but one that should give us a sense of urgency to enjoy life now. That is what I would like to discuss with you today. How many of us put off enjoyment? The ever present “I will be happy when ___” way of thinking. What if we never make it to when? Again, not a very cheery thought, but one that deserves consideration. We may never get a shot at this merry-go-round of life.
Here is a great example – vacation! When we are on vacation, like my lovely lady and I were in the picture above, we are sure to make the most of it. “We might never get back here again. Let us enjoy it.” We say to each other. The truth is that the same might be said of any moment of your life. Our favorite restaurant that has been there forever may close unexpectedly tomorrow. The beautiful park we enjoy walking through may be turned into condos any day now. Our friends may move away and our loved ones may pass away. All of these moments are possible and at some point will happen.
This is all beginning to sound a little doom and gloomy. The question all of this begs us to ask ourselves is, “How are you spending this minute?” Tony Robbins has a great line, “What is wrong is always available. So it what’s right.” What are you focused on? Are you focused on how much of a hurry you are in and how inconvenient the long line at the grocery store is? You could be focused on how grateful you are that you do not have to hunt for your food or farm for it. Not only would that take a great deal longer, but success is not guaranteed. Either path is certainly justified and understandable. The fact remains one of them leads to a more enjoyable life. We should work to enjoy as many moments in life as we can. We might as well. We will never get them back again.
We all know people who are angry most of the time. Why? Do they know how good they have it? Yes, I am sure their lives could be better. Yes, we all have legitimate challenges and reasons to be disenfranchised. Still, we all have reasons to be grateful and full of joy and love. All we have to do is look around us and see those that are less fortunate and could use our help. Oh wait, we are getting into tomorrow’s post again,
This post comes out on a Monday. Back at work for most of us. We are busy working to keep the lights on and the bills paid. Before we know it, the week is over and we are exhausted. Socrates, and by the way of this post myself, are here to tell you not to forget the things that truly matter. I cannot convey my dismay at how many of us spend our lives majoring in minor things. I am not judging. I am guilty of this far too often myself.
This life we are given is a great gift. If we are not enjoying it, we are wasting it. You might be saying, “Neil, you do not know my situation. I cannot enjoy life right now.” You are right. I do not know your situation. There is one thing that I am sure of when if comes to your life, even if we have never met. That is that your life, and the lives of those you share it with are growing shorter by second. Each and every one of us will leave this beautiful planet and we have no idea when. It seems as we get older, or maybe face a serious medical condition, our urgency to live a life that matters increases. That is why you see so many people contemplating their own lives at a funeral of a loved one. It serves as a reminder that life is shorter than we think.
This thought of ever approaching, and uncertain, death is not to scare you. Quite the contrary. It is to motivate you. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. Even situations that are not ideal. Your job may not be the one of your dreams. Personally, I am still waiting to host a talk show. Even in that job you can practice gratitude and find the joy. It can be your coworkers. It can be the interactions you have with the public or the opportunity to make their day a little brighter.
We pass by so much beauty and so many miracles on a daily basis it is beyond comprehension. Take walking by a beautiful tree. Have you ever stopped to think about how many years it took that tree to get to the stage it is now? What did it all need and have to go through? How many storms did it weather? Years of growth, fighting wind, rain and perhaps scorching sun. Still, here you are able to stand in its shade. Too obscure of a reference for you? Let us look at another one.
Working with the public is a challenge. I have done it my whole life. When you come to a coffee shop and the lady behind the counter greets you with a smile, do you know how hard that might be? Any smile we are given, whether by stranger or friend, is a tremendous gift! Think of what a smile means. Despite the challenges that person is facing, and we all are facing some challenge, they wanted to share a gesture of joy and acceptance with us. They could have thought of the crazy state of the world and scowled. They could have been overcome with grief and looked at us with tears in their eyes. Which are both gifts as well. Someone being brave enough to share their inner-most thoughts and emotions. Are you beginning to see how we are missing so much in life?
Aside from stopping and staring pensively at a tree, which might not be a bad idea, how can we begin to appreciate all of these miracles and beauty we are missing? There is a clue in the question. Appreciation. When we stop to be grateful for things, it not only adds joy to our lives, it helps us be a more appreciative and loving person. Who wouldn’t want to be around someone like that? Think of the plants in the islands in the middle of the street. Most of us pay them little, if any, attention as we drive by. While it is smart to keep your eyes on the road, a glance in their direction would serve us well. Can you imagine how dull and lifeless the street would look without them? This is just one example.
Another suggestion is to try and be present as much as you can. In the middle of a walk, stop and take a deep breath and soak up the moment. Who you are with. What is around you. You can combine this with finding something to be grateful for. I was behind a lady at the supermarket who was obviously in a hurry and was not keen to wait in the line we were in. That is understandable. How lucky were we that we were both able to afford groceries and that there were some there to purchase? In many places of the world this is not the case. We did not have to hunt or farm. We were not living in an impoverished country. Yes, long lines at the grocery store are not fun. Do you know what is worse? Wasting time being upset about being there. I am getting ahead of myself. We will talk more about that tomorrow.
This post is not at all what I thought it will be. Honestly, an example of what we will discuss here happened to me this evening! I’m getting ahead of myself. Have you ever stopped and thought about everything you have to be grateful for? Take one event that you enjoy and really break it down. I did this with the Wisconsin State Fair. My favorite event to attend all year.
When I started to think about it, there are thousands of people that contribute to putting on this event. There are of course the people who run the fair, including its new CEO, Shari Black. There are the owners of the stands that sell everything from food to inflatable hammocks. There are the employees that work those stands. There are the people who maintain the grounds. They recently repaved a good portion of the park. I will not get into all of the people in the paving industry, but you see where this is going. Let us not forget the VERY important people who keep the restrooms clean.
This was the general scope of this blog post until about 730 this evening. Then this happened – the heavens opened up and the rain fell. The crowds scrambled. The main act was canceled. This, you would assume would ruin one’s time at the fair. Not so. There was a million things to be thankful for.
Earlier in the day, one of our favorite grocery stores gave away free ponchos. My mother and I availed ourselves to them. This was at noon. 7 hours before the rain. As we walked through the fair and on the way home, we talked about how lucky we were. First the ponchos. Then the fact we enjoyed the whole day at the fair before this happened. We were able to purchase food to take home on the way out. Everyone seemed in a silly mood even though they were soaked.
You see, in any event they are a million things to be grateful for. Think of going to work. People paved roads for you. There are traffic lights to make surethe trip is safe. You either have a car or public transportation. Think of all the people involved in these industries. You have a restroom at work… with running water.
These things may not seem like a big deal. Take any one of them away and you will see that they are. Remember, whether a morning commute or a rainy night at the fair, there is always so much to be grateful for!
To me, this conversation seems like one I have had a million times. Although, we only have discussed it on here briefly. My mom and I reflect on certain things and say how it seems like a lifetime ago. Now, with almost 11 years together, Margie and I find ourselves doing the same thing.
Have you ever done this? Think about a restaurant you used to go to, or people you got together with and it seems like it was in another lifetime. The reason I bring that up is this time of year brings to town one of my favorite things, The Wisconsin State Fair. This year it seems many of the staples that have been there for years, or even decades, are gone.
We all understand that things change and hopefully evolve. Still, this begs the question how can we hang on to those moments? As we sat watching a dog diving show, this thought was bouncing through my head.
The answer is to stay grateful for them. To appreciate every moment as they happen. Look around you. The people and places around you may not be there tomorrow. It is a sobering thought to be sure, but hopefully one that will motivate us to appreciate each other and live in the moment.
Above is a breakfast sandwich I enjoyed the other morning at my favorite place, The Wisconsin State Fair. It was delicious. Last year, my mother, Margie and I discovered it the first day we went. Shortlyafter that, I proposed to her. In reflection, we all recall the sandwich being quite delicious.
With that in mind, I was excited to bite into this one with the hollandaise sauce,ham, and cheese all in a delicious croissant. While it did satisfy my taste buds, it fell short of the year prior. No fault of the establishment. The ingredients were just as delicious.
What was missing? It was the company, the excitement of the day. Here I sat, all alone, trying to recreate that. Margie was baking and my mother was getting ready to help someone else.
What I learned was that it is the people andwhat you do with them is what makes memories and makes moments special. It not only adds flavor to a lonely breakfast sandwich, but it adds flavor to life as well. If you want to fill your life with happy memories, fill it with special people and loving times.
This picture was taken today at the Milwaukee Public Museum. It has been at its current location since 1963. This would be longer than I’ve been alive. Everytime I have ‘went to the Museum’ it has been this one. That includes school field trips, times with family and friends. Even once while on lunch from serving on jury duty.
The Museum will be moving to a new location in 2027. Many exhibits,including this one, will not be making the trip. All things must change and update. I get that. Apparently, this building had fallen into disrepair. The cost to repair would have been greater than a new location and would not have provided the safety for the artifacts.
My mother and I decided to visit and take in the current layout one more time. I have been to this museum countless times. I love learning and history. In an effort to capture the memories, I endeavored to take pictures of as much as I could.To my shock, I discovered things I had missed in my now 50 years of coming here! This includes this old phone operator that can only by viewed by climbing some stairs.
Another favorite of mine is mini dioramas that display different cultures. Today I learned they were made during the depression by artists paid through the works progress administration. Again, after 50 years of viewing these, new knowledge.
A butterfly landed on me in the butterfly garden. This will be in the new location. It still was a cool memory. The lesson in all of this is that things change and we must savor the moments while they are here. Also, when we look at something we have seen countless times with new eyes, we can discover something new.
I will savor these memories and am grateful for all of the years and memories created here. I will alsolook forward to creating new memories at the new location.
Have you ever stopped to think of the purpose of the interactions you have with people? Like meeting a friend for coffee. Was the point to vent about your crummy job and car that is constantly braking down? How about that dinner with your spouse? The other night Margie and I were having dinner when we noticed a couple across the restaurant. The entire time they were out together, he was on his phone and she was reading a book. They scarcely knew each other was there.
I’m not saying we need a minute by minute plan for every personal interaction. Some organic development is what keeps life interesting. I’m reminded of a new project in working on with a friend of mine. We have a framework of what we would like to accomplish, but leave room for some magic to happen.
Life is much like that. When meeting a friend, think to yourself “While we are having coffee, I’d really like to make each other laugh.” Before heading out for that romantic dinner with your spouse, maybe plan to share how much they mean to you while enjoying a delicious meal. Have a positive purpose in your interactions. It will help you have an even more amazing life.
How many of us could benefit from taking this attitude not only into the gym, but into life. People complain about a wide variety of things. I am guilty of this myself far too often. As we can see in this quote, a change in perception can make a big change in how we feel. While we are complaining about soreness in our joints, there are others who do not have the ability to even use theirs.
This shift in attitude can transcend more than just our bodies. Our environment is another example. Perhaps our house has many issues that require our attention. It can be frustrating. If we were to instead focus on how grateful we are that we are not one of the countless homeless that will give anything just to have a place to lay their heads, it may make those repairs a little less frustrating. How about our job? Statistics say that 87% of Americans do not like their jobs. I would say over 90% of those people tell others they do not like their job. What would happen if they lost it? Do you think they would feel a sense of relief that they are not out of that occupation? My guess is no.
This is not rocket science. When we begin to focus on being grateful for what we have, instead of frustrated for what we do not, we begin to realize how much we have. Not only that, life is far more likely to give us even more to be grateful for. If you are about to dismiss this as some sort of new-age nonsense, let me give you an example. Let us say you were given some candy and you decided to share it with your friends. One friend in particular was very appreciative and grateful for the fact you shared the candy. Who would you be most likely to share with in the future? When you are grateful in a retail setting for the service you receive, do you think the service you get next time will be more likely to be better or worse? Anyone who has worked in retail, or with the public in general can tell you how rare genuine appreciation and gratitude from a customer can be.
If you spend your life resenting all that life has not given you, life will be one unhappy place. If, on the other hand, you spend life being grateful for what you have while working for something better, life will seem magical. You will feel lucky and blessed. Which would you rather feel? It is as simple as changing the way you look at life and feeling grateful.
You never know how much you are loved. Rarely do people convey how much you mean to them. Let us be the change makers in that. Tell people how much they mean to you and why. Then, watch them light up and your relationship with them grow closer. It is these actions that will allow us to change the world in a positive way!
