This post is coming out on a Sunday. By this evening many of us will begin to stress about things that really do not matter. It would serve us well to take a hard look at the list above and realize that life is a lot better than we realize. Most of us have most, if not all, of the things on that list. They may seem trivial, or be taken for granted, but imagine doing without them. Each one is a huge blessing.
In a time when the world is facing war and genocide, many would give anything to have this complete list. Most of what we stress about is really not that pressing. Money can be made and lost. Jobs can come and go. The things that really matter are important to recognize and be grateful for. Do this and your week will be off to a wonderful start.
This will be a very powerful post! Today we will learn 2 items that can transform any area of our life. Problems with your health? This can help. Relationship losing its spark? This will fan the flames of desire. The best part is, once you put these two things in place, the change is almost automatic! As a bonus, the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
You may be thinking this all sounds too good to be true, and I would not blame you. Let’s dive right into the first tool you can use, and I think you will grasp the power of this.Remember, the best way to witness the effect these strategies for success will have in your life is to use them yourself.
The first tool is the environment. We discussed this a few posts back, but let us take a closer look. Many people are chasing that better life. Chasing that perfect relationship. Chasing that great career or healthy lifestyle. Many of these same people are in environments that do not serve those ends. You are looking for a healthy lifestyle, but your refrigerator is full of ice cream and cake. You want to turn that side hustle into a dream career, but your bedroom is full of gaming gear and other distractions.
Reaching goals can be tough enough. Creating an environment where those goals can flourish makes it so much easier. Want a great relationship? Fill your bookshelf with books on the subject. Watch some great videos on YouTube or a relationship podcast. Fill your cabinets with tasty and healthy snacks, so those are your only options.
The second tool to transform your life is ritual. Before you recoil in shock and terror, I am not saying you have to dance in the moonlight with your friends or whatever is happening in that picture above. A ritual is nothing more than an intentional habit. An act we purposely engage in for a desired outcome.Whether that outcome is health,wealth, or my favorite, gratitude, you can develop a ritual.
Let us use gratitude as an example. I think we could all use more gratitude in our lives. It not only helps us feel good, it changes our perception on life.When we are focused on what we lack we feel poor and like life is a sentence of sorts. Our life feels like a job. Have your you ever felt that way? Than you could use more gratitude.
Here is how we can use ritual and environment to stay in the mindset of gratitude. Let us start by finding our favorite quote on gratitude. Now print out 3 copies. Place one where you will see it first thing in the morning. This could be the bathroom mirror, the coffee maker, the refrigerator door. Whatever works for you. Place one in your car for your commute. Lastly, keep one in your pocket. You now have surrounded yourself with reminders of gratitude. You have the environment.
Now comes the ritual. Every morning, say the quote out loud 3 times. Thus reminding yourself to be grateful that day. Whenever you reach in your pocket for keys, a pen, or anything else, take your quote out and read it. At the end of the day, write three things your grateful for that day and why in a journal. You could keep this by your bed. This would add to the environment.
Can you imagine how much easier living a grateful life would be using these secrets? I would love to hear your tips for living grateful in the comments below. Come back next post where we look at ideas to use this to create the relationship of your dreams!
As we start a new week, let us do our best to keep a smile on our faces. This can seem challenging depending on what life throws our way. Here is something that will help – focusing on our blessings. That is everything we have to be grateful for on our lives. Can you imagine how different your life would be if you were so focused on gratitude that you had to be interrupted to be affected by negativity? How would your life be different if being grateful was the rule and not the exception?
This sounds great, but how can this really be possible? How can we remain grateful in a world that is often ‘positive challenged’? In a word – reminder. Put as many things in front of you to remind you not only of the things you already have to be grateful for but to discover new ones as well.
This will be different for everyone, as everyone has different things to be grateful for. You could keep a picture of a loved one in the car to look at during the commute to and from work. This could be one of the 2 or 4 legged varieties.You could keep a gratitude journal on your nightstand by your bed.Maybe a well-placedaffirmation on the bathroom mirror or coffee machine?
These are just a few ideas. Choose what works for you. Next post, we will look at 2 steps to take that will not only work for gratitude, but for any area of your life. You will definitely want to return for that. Better yet, subscribe to this blog so you do not miss a single post. Feel free to share what you do to stay in gratitude in the comments below.
This post is released on a Saturday. One of the great things about the weekend is that we usually have a little more time to ourselves. If not, it would benefit us greatly to take some. In that time, I would suggest engaging in some self-reflection. Many of us are so busy playing the game of life, we rarely step back to see where we are on the game board. I certainly have been guilty of this with everything I have going on in my life. Time with, and for, ourselves should not be a luxury. We need that time to become the best version of ourselves. Self-reflection helps us to be a better spouse, a better parent, a better coworker and anything else.
Ask yourself the questions listed in the picture above, but do not stop there. Think of other important questions that need reflection. One of the ones I would include is, “Where do I want to go in life?” If one of your goals is to retire early, but you are spending money foolishly, it might be time to take a look at that budget. One really powerful question to reflect on is, “What do I have to be grateful for?” During the week we can be focused on everything that needs attending to in our life. Focus on fixing problems all week may cause us to lose track of all the wonderful things we do have. Pausing to reflect on them will not only lift our spirits, but have us feeling so much happier and abundant.
This does not have to be a weekly habit. In fact, I would recommend doing it as often as you can. Even taking five minutes to reflect on all you have to be grateful for before you start your day can have such a dramatic effect, it will feel like magic. How do you incorporate self-reflection in your life? We would love to hear in the comments below.
One of the greatest issues in today’s world is that people really do not love their lives. According to research by Forbes magazine, 87% of us are going to jobs that we really do not enjoy. Spending 40 hours a week, plus commute, on doing something that drains your soul can certainly take some of your joy of living away. What about the times you are not working? They are usually filled with the stress of life and family responsibilities. Try to squeeze in some sleep and time is used up.
What this leads to for many of us is a “wake up, pay bills and die” kind of existence. My fourth book addresses this in great detail, but we are going to take a look at one of the most powerful tools that exists to go from surviving to thriving. That tool? It is gratitude. You probably have heard quite a bit about gratitude and how important it is for living a quality life. The reason you have heard so much about it, is because it works. I am sure most of us know this intellectually, but how many of us have a gratitude practice of any kind? If we stop and ask anyone if they are grateful for things in their life, they usually respond with a resounding yes. Still, most of us go through life focused on what has to be fixed, or what is wrong with our lives.
Gratitude can change every aspect of our life when we take time to not only focus on it, but stay in that state for at least a few minutes each day. My favorite times to do this is either first thing in the morning or right before bed. Here is why. First thing in the morning we set the tone for our day. Why not make it one of appreciation and gratitude? It sure beats leaving the house in a depressed or angry state. It will put us in a far better state to face the challenges ahead. Practicing gratitude right before bed gives us a sense of inner peace and allows our rest to be restorative. It will allow us to see that although the day may not have gone exactly how we wanted it to, there are still many reasons to be grateful.
Whether you choose to practice gratitude first thing in the morning, or last thing at night, make sure you spend at least a few minutes every day doing so. You could even do so on your lunch! That way you get a midday refresh. The reasons for doing so are many (increased immune function, reduced stress,etc.) The main reason is that is helps us fall in love with our life again. We have a little spring in our step. Want to make this even more powerful? Try expressing gratitude at least once a day. You will not only make someone else’s day better, but you will give your own heart an extra dose of joy. I would love to hear of any gratitude practices you use.
These days it seems everyone is working to get rich and famous. From side hustles, to an attempt to go viral, it would seem that we are all chasing the brass ring. To this end, many people wish to use the Law of Attraction, or as it has become known, the secret. One of the most important aspects of this law is that you must be what you wish to attract. This gives many people, including myself, a headache trying to figure out.
When thinking about gaining wealth and fame, the question becomes, “How can I be and/or feel wealthy, when my circumstances would have me feeling the opposite.” With the price of everything from heat to groceries going up, that is certainly understandable. The ‘secret’ is contained in something we touched on a few posts ago. Our control is not in bending outside circumstances to our will, but working on the circumstances that exist between our own ears.
How can you feel wealthy with all of the bills coming in and the paycheck not getting larger? By focusing on all that you do have. This may sound cliche or positive thinking to many of you. In a way I suppose it is. That does not change that fact that it works. A brief glance at the world around us will remind us of how much we all have to be thankful for. Take our health for example. Even if it is not perfect at the moment, it certainly could be worse. Our friends are another source of wealth. We may wish we had more, or saw the ones we have more often, but the fact is having friends is a great form of wealth.
There are a million things from a roof over our heads, running water to access to the internet to read something like this, that we should be grateful for. Our lives are filled with so many blessings that often go overlooked. Spending as little as five minutes a day focusing on all we have to be grateful for can transform our lives. It can take us to living a life of lack, to living one of abundance. Don’t trust me, prove it to yourself by trying this today.
This may sound like a fatalistic post for uplifting Wednesdays, but it really is not. In fact, I debated titling this post “Everything is special” but decided on the one I did because it has a sense of urgency. Last week, we discussed how quickly things change and how the not so distant past can seem like a lifetime ago. Isn’t that true to some extent in your own life? I know it is in mine. Places you used to go are no longer there. Businesses you used to frequent have ceased operations. People sadly pass on. Animals become extinct.
Again,this is a little depressing, but it also provides us a sense of urgency. My friend Curtis gave me a great reminder about the power of being present. All too often we busy ourselves reliving memories and fail to pay attention to the ones we should be creating. Then, without a warning it seems, they too become memories. Consider this – each second of time is unique and will never occur again. The beautiful sunrise you are witnessing? Yes, the sun will rise again tomorrow, but it will look different than what you are seeing right now. That bouquet of flowers you received will be different than any you will get in the future.
One of the interesting things that I reflect on in life is how seemingly tragic world events change the way things are done. I recall what travel was like before September 11 of 2001. Recently, we all saw the effects Covid had on the way we socialize and do business. Life can change in an instant. Change is actually the only thing we can count on. That is why each moment is so precious. War has broken out in many places in the world and the lives of millions were upended ina heartbeat. The reverberations of that situation can be felt across the globe. Very few us could have predicted that was going to happen.
It doesn’t even have to be on a global scale. Think of all the people in your life. Above is a picture of my lovely lady and I. It was taken at my work’s holiday party. It was also a retirement party for one of my coworkers. That means it will be the last time he will be there as my coworker. Who knows if my work will have another holiday party or if this was the last one I will attend? A few years back during my open-heart surgery, it was almost the last time I spent with my lovely Margie. That story is shared in great detail in my book, The Beat Goes On, available on Amazon.
Challenges provide us great opportunity to see everything for the miracle it is. Recently, I shared the story about how my car was having trouble and my mother was giving me a ride to work. Although this proved to be far more stressful than we first thought, who knows when I will be able to share the ride and great conversation with my mother at 430am. Looking back, we had fun on my way to work. Who knows if those moments will ever happen again. I would much rather have a working vehicle, but the ride with my mom was a good memory.
Everything, and everyone, in life is fleeting. It may not seem like it, but as we discussed earlier, it can all change in an instant. Health is precious. Love is precious. So many things we can fail to appreciate until they are gone. Take a second an be present and grateful for everything in your life. Everything is a miracle. Everything is precious.
Boy what a week I have had! One of those weeks where you get to practice your character building skills. It is easy to be a positive motivating person when all is going well. It is when trouble shows up that positivity is put to the test. This week, there was both a large amount of snow followed by temperatures well below zero. For those of you who know me, these two elements alone would be enough to test my optimism resolve. Oh, but there was so much more.
On Saturday morning at 4am, when I am heading out to work the exhaust of my car was detached by driving over some snow. My mechanic is not open until Monday and so for the weekend I drove a vehicle that was loud enough to summon creatures from the underworld. Embarrassing, quite. What was worse was not being able to take it in. Alas, I did on Monday to discover it would be $653 to repair. Less than 24 hours later, my power steering decided to take a vacation somewhere warmer. Back to the mechanic and $250 later that was fixed. I was happy to have my car back. I drove to work without a concern. On the way home, however, there was another great warning light greeting me.
This, my friends, is the oil pressure light. It is not good news. Calling the mechanic as I drove, his response was, “That’s not good.” This was one bit of car knowledge I did already know. Today is Friday and the poor gent was on his way to a funeral. That means I will not be able to take my car in until Monday. This weekend, I had hope to run a few errands and just be able to transport myself from one place to another. I also work tomorrow and DJ on Sunday. These things are impossible to do without a vehicle.
As trying as this story may be, it is not the purpose of this post. In the middle of all of this chaos, I have still been able to go to work. My dear mother, bless her heart, picks me up at 4am and drops me off 30 minutes away. Keep in mind the temperature has been around zero degrees. Then she picks me up. We even had a 3 mile walk in the woods and a fun trip to the grocery store. Although the walk was a brisk one, as you can see in the photo below, it sure was some great exercise. This I am missing, as I have not been able to make it to the gym.
We go from colder than frozen, to really hot. You guessed it, I am talking about my lovely lady, Margie. This poor lady has had to put up with someone with Seasonal Affective Disorder, in the dead of winter, whose car keeps breaking down. She has done it all while making amazing warm meals to warm up my stomach and smiles and love to warm up my soul. Although we had plans to go out and enjoy each other’s company, we have had plenty of fun staying in. We watch a show on the Bahamas, which we plan on visiting next month. We also have read together and enjoyed each other.
In my life, there are people who have the ability to assist me a great deal who choose not to. Then, there are these two wonderful ladies who are super busy themselves, but give from their hearts. We often spend so much time trying to find ways to get even with those who have wronged us, or even those who have not helped us. This takes a lot of negative energy and leaves both parties drained. Can you imagine what life would be like if we only focused on getting even with those who have made our life better? We would be spreading love and appreciation to so many! I am so grateful to have so many souls that treat me so well. As I wait to decide how to proceed with my car, I will busy myself with getting even with these two wonderful ladies.
I am so excited to bring you today’s strategy for an amazing life. It will be featured in my upcoming book, but you will get a preview here today! This secret to an amazing life only takes a mere 5 minutes a day. Does that sound to good to be true? Trust me, it is not. You may be tempted to dismiss this as too easy, you should not. In fact, do this for a month. Prove to yourself that it works. When you do, I would love to hear your experience with it back here on this site.
Here is the first step. Find a five-minute period in your day that you can regularly count on. This could be right after you get out of work. If you are ambitious, it could be first thing in the morning. This can be risky as you never know what things may crop up. It is also when people are usually rushing. A great time would also be five-minutes before you go to bed at night. Pick what works for you, but make sure it is a time you can regularly count on.
Next, set a timer on your phone for 5 minutes. If you do not have a phone with a timer, anything will do. Look at the clock, whatever works for you. Here is all you have to do – for this amount of time, think of what you have to be grateful for. Another post about the power of gratitude? I hear that everywhere! Do you know why you hear that everywhere? Because it works. Gratitude is a superpower. In a world that does its best to make you feel fear, anger and depression, being able to focus on what you are grateful for, takes discipline. It also takes your life to a whole other level.
Let us look at the science behind this and why it will actually make such a profound difference in our life. We have around 60,000 thoughts a day. According to the National Science Foundation, 80% of those thoughts are negative. That is alarming in its own right, but add this fact to it and it becomes down right scary. According to Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University, 90% of our thoughts are repetitive! That means we are thinking of the same negative junk over and over every day. It also means that a mere 10% of our thoughts are new and focused. That is why it is imperative that we take complete control of those thoughts. Say for like 5 minutes a day. If we do that, and focus on gratitude, that will become part of our 80% that are repeated. Can you imagine if we could eventually flip the script and have 80% of our thoughts positive? Even getting that negative percentage down to 49% means that our lives will be more positive than negative. It only takes 5 minutes, but will have a compounding effect. Doing it at that same time every day will make it more of a habit and likely to succeed.
Don’t take my word, or the word of science, try this out for yourself. Do it for 30 days. Remember that our thinking is the result of years of behavior and that changing it will take a little time. If we can accomplish this in only 5 minutes a day, how powerful could that be? You have 1440 minutes in your day, 5 of those is only .004% of your day. Yet, by doing this, you can radically shift your mindset! I would love to come back to this in 30 days and hear your results.
In life we all have many challenges. One of mine is the weather where I live. Especially in winter. It seems the older I get, the harder it is to deal with the cold and snow. This year, I vowed to make the best of it and try to maintain a more positive outlook. For a while, mother nature seemed on board with this. The weather was unseasonably warm, and the snow was slight. My attitude seemed to remained elevated. This was good news for my family and friends. I thought to myself, “Neil, you just might do it this year!” Then, mother nature had a wicked grin.
I leave for my day job a little after 4am Monday to Saturday. This morning I woke up to over a foot of snow. As I trudged my way to where my car was parked, I saw it also was covered in snow. Upon reached my car, I discovered it was more ice than snow. Nothing starts the day off right like spending ten minutes chipping ice off your vehicle just to climb inside. Once inside, I began to defrost the windows. Once they were clear, I headed out. Trying to focus on the fact I was grateful to have a vehicle that ran. The plow that went through left a small ridge of snow in it’s path. I had to cross it to get out of the parking lot. As I did my car erupted in a chorus of sounds. None of them were very friendly. It would appear the snow had damaged some vital part of the exhaust. This happened on a Saturday. My mechanic is not open until Monday.
Driving around with a car loud enough to wake the dead is embarrassing enough, but now the temperature, which was doing just fine, is going to drop to ten degrees below zero. This makes my loud car, should it start, quite necessary. It would appear that my resolution to maintain a positive attitude is receiving quite the test. I must remember that is what the world does. I refuse to let it get the upper hand. This is not done alone. My friend CJ jokingly reminded me that some kids are trying to make their cars louder, in essence, I just gave myself a free upgrade. My friend Kurt offered his mechanic. Of course my lovely lady and her smile will keep me warm on the inside. There are my self-improvement skills I not only teach, but practice myself, that will keep me humming along.
All of this serves to remind me that tests are a part of life. They give our resolve strength. They require us to change our focus on what we do have to be grateful for in order to make it through them. It also gives us a platform to demonstrate to others, by our example, that they too can make it through their challenges. When we embrace life’s challenges and put them to work for us, we grow. When we let them get us down, we become less of who we could be. I am going to do my best to grow from this challenge and I invite you to do the same with the challenges in your life.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 