Tag: goals

ELIMINATE THE OUTCOME 🤔

Here we go! The last day of the year. As we look forward to the new year, many of us will make resolutions and think about what goals we would like to accomplish in the next 365 days. That is good. I would like to encourage that. Looking to improve yourself is always something to strive for. This year, I would like you to contemplate something new. This was brought to me by doing something that I have told you about earlier this year. I heard it while listening to some daily motivational and inspirational videos.

The message came from Inky Johnson, the man pictured above. In case you haven’t read any of my previous posts about him, allow me to provide you a quick explanation. Inky Johnson was a stand out college football player. He was projected to be an early first-round pick and an instant millionaire. He came from a very poor family and was looking forward to being able to help them move to a better location. Only a few games before being drafted, Inky suffered a hit that ended up costing him the use of his right arm and the ability to ever play football again. In one play, all of the years of hard work and dreams of being able to help his family were taken away from him. That would be enough to break most people. Not Inky Johnson. When the doctors told him that he would never be able to use his arm again, he politely corrected them. “I am going to use this arm every day.” was his response. Inky has went on to be one of the most powerful speakers and motivators. He uses his story to inspire those that he speaks to.

When someone like that speaks, I tend to listen. What about all of those years of discipline and hard work that seemed to be for nothing? He has an answer for that too. He said something in this video that really stuck with me. He said if you want long-term success, you should eliminate the outcome. This sounds very counterintuitive, but considering who was speaking, I listened. He explained if you tie your efforts to an outcome, you will never be successful. The outcome, he said, can be taken away from you. I think he knows a thing or two about that. It doesn’t have to be as extreme as his situation. You could have been a great employee for years at your company and then they have to downsize or go out of business. You could work on being a great spouse, and your lover could leave you.

What is the point here? Don’t have any goals? Don’t chase any dreams? Not at all. What Inky said next in the video really made sense. He asked, “What is more important? What you get or who you become?” You see my friends, what you get can always be taken away from you, but who you become is yours forever. If your goal is to get in shape for that class reunion, that is good, but what if it gets canceled? How about getting in shape because you want to give your children someone they can be proud of? How about becoming someone who can be proud of themselves?

When we are setting our goals for the coming year, let us focus on who we want to become and not just what we hope to obtain. Ask yourself, who do you want to be in the coming year?

CLICK HERE TO WATCH A VIDEO THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FROM INKY JOHNSON

I’M PROMITING G.O.Y.A…🤨

Do not worry. This is not some sort of legally questionable promotion of a Mexican food product by a daughter of a president of the United States. In fact, it has nothing to do with that brand of food. Although, many of their products are very tasty. This is about a missing step that many people miss in pursuing an amazing life. It is also a vital step in using the Law of Attraction that people often miss. It was mentioned in the movie The Secret, but somehow most people missed it, including several of the people who were in the movie.

The steps listed in the Law of Attraction, and the movie The Secret, are to 1. ask 2. believe 3. receive. There is an important aspect missing here. If you think positive thoughts and you believe, it will put you in the right mental and emotional state, but people will still come and take your car and furniture unless you add a step between 2 and 3. That step is inspired action. It was mentioned in the movie, and often in books and lectures on LOA, but because it is not listed as one of the steps, many people miss it. Following the first two steps will put opportunities in front of you. If you do nothing else, they will find themselves in front of someone else. It is like when the server places a gourmet meal in front of you. If you don’t grab the knife and fork and dig in, you will never enjoy it.

In this case, G.O.Y.A. stands for get off your ass. Goals are great. Planning is wonderful. If it is not followed up by action, you are not going to get anywhere. Many people worry, “What if I take the wrong action?” Better to do that and find out and be able to switch it up to the correct action. If you do nothing, you will get nothing. Inspired action should not feel too much like work. The excitement of knowing you are getting closer to accomplishing your goals should keep you motivated.

It might not be a bad idea to purchase a can of your favorite Goya product and place it somewhere you can see. It will serve as a great reminder that we all need to take action to get anywhere in our life. You need to put in the work in the physical realm as well as the mental and spiritual. Go ahead, visualize, meditate, but then go hit the gym or get outside and work. Picture yourself as a best-selling author, but then sit down and write 1000 words. You must put in the work. G.O.Y.A.

I DON’T THROW STONES AT DOGS 🐕

For those of you who know me personally, the title of this post should not be much of a surprise. On any given day, I would rather speak with a dog than some people I know. If you read into the quote, it also fits the author. In this case the dogs that bark are people and situations that cause a distraction. When you are working on transforming your life to one you not only can be proud of, but one you will enjoy living every day, you cannot stop and worry about what Jane said about Susan. You can’t even really worry about the gossip that Jane or Susan may be saying about you.

In 23 years of bartending, and now several years being a DJ, I have noticed there are plenty of people who could fit in the category of barking dogs. If I did stop and worry about all of the people who wish to be detractors, I would have a lot less energy and time to work on improving myself and my life. Add to that, the input I receive from the over 200 countries this website is followed in, and there are countless people with something to say. This is not to say you should not listen to feedback. To me, engaging with people around the globe is one of the best parts about being international. What we should not fall victim to is the ‘keyboard rangers’, as Greg Plitt used to refer to them. Those are the sad souls who spend their lives criticizing from behind a computer screen. These folks are generally not putting in time to improve their own lives and are more focused on tearing down others. Do you think people like Warren Buffett and Jeff Bezos sit down and respond to every negative comment about them? No. They are busy running their respective companies.

Next time you are tempted to respond to ideal gossip or some ‘keyboard ranger’, ask yourself, “Will spending time on this bring me any closer to my goal? By doing so, will it take precious time away from improving my life and my position in it?” There are a lot of people who feel they need to respond to everything that is said and done. Is that not letting your emotions control you? I know there are people who slander you and continue to say negative things. I know you would like to get back at them and get some feeling of revenge. Trust me, it is not worth it and gives them even more power over you. Still don’t trust me on this point? That is fine. I will leave you with the wise words of the singer Frank Sinatra.

THRIVE THURSDAY 😀

Have you ever thought about how often we think about building our future? When we are young it is almost all we think about. People are constantly asking us, “what are you going to be when you grow up?” Sometimes we even ask ourselves that question. Children can often be heard saying “I can’t wait until I’m 18 and can make my own decisions and live my own life!”

Then what happens? We do grow up. We can make our own decisions and live our own life. Sadly, we often forget, or take for granted, that we have this power. Our thoughts, which when we were young were almost always about building our future, have become almost entirely about surviving our present. How to pay the bills. How to get the kids on school today.

Today let us change that up. Whether you are 18 or 80, you have a future. Devote at least one day a week (Thursday thrive?) To building your life and not just surviving it. Learn something new. Invest in improving yourself. Think, and put into action, things that can improve your relationships.

Let us go back to when we were young. Let us decide again what we want to be when we grow up. That doesn’t have to start when you are 18, and it never has to stop.

FOR YOUR TUESDAY 🙂

A little bright and positive motivation for your Tuesday. What are you doing to keep your mood up and keep moving forward?

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO BE PATIENT

It is the middle of the week. Might even be the middle of the day when you read this. It might be the middle of your life. I bet, if you are any kind of achiever, there are a few things you expected to have done by now that are not complete. Usually, this leads to a feeling of frustration. This feeling seems to grow as does the time since you began work on this goal/project. I get it. I’ve been there myself and still experience this. Especially, when it is something I am excited to achieve and complete.

What can we do to remain patient and, more to the point, sane while we are waiting for this goal to manifest? Also, what does this picture of my hiking path I took the other day have to to do with any of this? The answer is in the first picture. “The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.” This is easy to understand when it comes to growing fruit, but not so easy when it comes to reaching goals.

What can we do if we want the fruit to grow faster? We can make sure it has the right amount of sunlight and water. In other words, make sure it has all the ingredients to help it grow as quickly and as strong as it can. What else could we do? We can remove any rocks or weeds around it. In this case, removing any obstacles that will prevent its growth.

On the other hand, what happens if we try too hard? What happens if we just keep pouring water on the seed? What happens if we put it in the sun too long? It will either flood or dry out in either case it will die.

You may be thinking “that’s great Neil, but I’m not trying to grow a plant!” Whether you are starting your own business, trying to get in shape, or learn a new skill, the answer is the same. Once we begin,or plant the seed, there is only so much we can do. We can work on creating an environment that will make it likely our goal will succeed as soon as possible. Just like watering and making sure our seed has enough sun. If we overdue it, like flooding our seed, it may kill our goal. Think of checking in on other parties that are involved in our goal. Do that once a week or so, it may remind and motivate them. Do it once an hour and you will lose their assistance.

How about removing the rocks and weeds? We can remove obstacles that may prevent our goals. Get all the junk food out of the house if you are trying to eat better. Does this mean you will be skinny tomorrow? Of course not. Does it make it less likely you will fall victim to temptation? Absolutely. Are you more likely to eat junk if you have to get dressed and drive to the store to get it or if you can stay in your pajamas and walk to the fridge?

Just like the tree in this picture, to grow it takes time. Sure, the tree will grow quicker if it has the right amount of sun and water. It will be more likely to grow if all the rocks and weeds are away from the soil. However, it will still take time. Not only does the time it takes a tree to grow vary according to the type of tree,just like it varies depending on what goal you are working on. It also can vary according to the individual tree and the environment it is growing in. Just like the same goal can vary from person to person.

When you find yourself growing impatient, work on both improving the environment and removing obstacles for your goal. When you have done that and your goal has still not manifested, repeat to yourself, “The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.” When you have been eating good and putting in the effort at the gym, but you feel like your getting nowhere, say this to yourself. You never now what it happening with the seed under the soil.

STAY POSITIVE THIS WEEKEND!

A quick reminder of the importance of staying positive as you work hard to realize your goals and dreams.

What will you do this weekend to make sure your attitude stays elevated while putting forth the effort to succeed?

KEEP CRUSHING IT! 💪

The weekend is coming! Certainly, there will be time for some well deserved relaxing. Don’t forget, however, this is a great time to pursue your goals and chase your dreams! While many of us think extra sleep and drinks with friends are the best ways to recharge our batteries, I disagree.

There is nothing like getting one step closer to realizing your dreams to put a fire in your heart and passion in your veins. Whether that is a great workout to get you one step closer to that body you want, or 1000 words to get you closer to writing that book you have been talking about. Getting closer to your end goal builds excitement and certainly recharges the batteries. This weekend take some time to relax, but also use some of this 48 hours to work on your goals and your dreams. They deserve it and so do you!

THE IMPORTANCE OF A DREAM

One of the many things in my life that I am grateful for is the amazing people I share it with. There are so many that I am proud to count among my friends. Today I would love to share a tale of just such a man. In doing so, however, I would also like to share a lesson with you. That lesson in the importance of having a dream and having a strong enough ‘why’ to back it up. You may be wondering what having a dream would get you out of life. It is not what you get from having a dream that is important, but what it gives you. Before we get to in deep with this theory, allow me to share the story of my friend and we will circle back around for the lesson.

The story I am going to tell you is about my friend Travis, who goes by the name Treezy. We met over a decade ago when I was bartending at a small corner bar. He came in shaking his head and sat down at the bar. He ordered a Budweiser and proceeded to regale me with the story of his previous evening. It would appear this gentleman, who was to become a life-long friend, had a terrible misadventure with a young lady at a hotel. The story was a comical one that ended with Treezy sitting in front of me wondering just how he got there.

This man’s way of delivering a story was both funny and captivating. He came across as both humble, yet charismatic. It reminding me a bit of…well…me. The bar had just opened up and the owners were friends of a friend. I had come out of my retirement as a bartender to help them out and was working for tips. I had built up quite a following on the weekends and was looking to grow the crowd even more. I knew just the thing that could do it. “Want to make a few extra bucks?” I asked the young man. He eagerly informed me that he did and a partnership was born. While I serveved drinks behind the pine, my new friend energized the crowd and sold trays of shots. We both were working for tips, but still did quite well for both ourselves and the bar. Unfortunately, the owners turned out to be very unethical and I left a short time later.

I had lost touch with my new found friend and figured that would be the last time I would see him. Years went by and I found myself working at a new place called “The Hideout”. One fine afternoon, as I was cleaning and getting the place ready for the busy evening ahead. Crouched down below the bar I heard a voice say “Yes I’ll have a bottle of Bud.” Which was strange because I didn’t recall asking anyone if they wanted one. I popped up to see a man in a St. Louis Cardinals hat. It took a second but slowly it dawned on me. We both were shocked to realize who the other was.

To keep this blog post from becoming my third book, I will fast forward a bit. In the time we had been apart, young Travis had discovered karaoke and his ability to entertain and lift people’s spirits. “We don’t have that here!” I explained most assuredly. Months later we would have karaoke at that bar. It happened to be the very DJ that introduced him to it and he returned. Now we had a new way to team up. Myself behind the bar and him on the microphone. It also came to be that the karaoke DJ would gain another follower. This time it wasn’t for karaoke though. That person was Margie, who became the love of my life.

Through our years together, the three of us have went on to be an incredible team. We worked together to bring as much positivity to whatever setting we are in. Margie being the incredible DJ she is, Treezy being epic performer and myself fitting in. First, I was behind the bar, now I am behind the microphone as an MC of sorts. Deep in his heart Travis knew what his passion was and that was to entertain people and to lift their spirits. Often, this was an all consuming endeavor. By that, I mean both in terms of time and money. Unfortunately, for Mr. Treezy, being the self-proclaimed ‘Greatest karaoke rapper alive’ does little to pay the bills. If you have ever had the pleasure to see him perform, it is a title he arguably holds. Through a set of trying circumstances which including losing both his job and his mother, Travis found himself back in his hometown of St. Louis struggling to survive. This even included being homeless for a while.

Still, his passion to entertain others and bring a smile to their face burned deep inside him. How to be able to live this dream? He returned to Milwaukee and this year made the decision to become a DJ himself. He continues to work hard and is adding shows to his list of entertaining venues. He kept faithful to his dream. He refined it. He held true to it when it had seemed if the world gave up on him. He is now not only able to entertain and bring that joy to others, he is getting paid to live that dream as well. As his friends, Margie and I could not be happier for him. We are both extremely proud to not only be a part of his journey, but we are proud of him as well. Dare I say, I think his mom would be too.

If you have a dream and the world seems to be against you, do not give up. Stick true to that dream. Remember why it is important to you. If you keep doing what feeds your soul, opportunities will present themselves. It may take longer than you desire and you may have to go through some pretty lean times, like our friend in this story, but if you persevere and keep the faith, life will let you Live your dream.

YOU CAN CHANGE, JUST STAY FOCUSED

There is a thing that Les Brown, one of my favorite speakers, says. When referring to his health journey and his battle with the temptation of sweet potato pie he says this, “I have lost 22 pounds, hundreds of times.” I think a lot of us can relate to that statement. What it means is that he lost the weight and then gained it back. Then he had to refocus and get back at it. Life is like that in many ways. Take getting in shape for example. Another speaker and author I admire a great deal is David Goggins. In his quest to go from 297 pounds to 185 and become a Navy seal he had a lot of training to do. On the first day he decided to run four miles. Being someone who weighs almost 300 pounds and didn’t do much cardio, you can imagine how this went. He ran a quarter of a mile, stopped turned around and walked back home. When he got there he sat on the couch and cried. It is ok to feel sorry for ourselves…for a little while. The next day he tried again with similar results. At this point many people would give up. That would be understandable. He did something different. He changed the plan and not the goal. He said to himself, “Ok, I cannot run. What can I do?” He began to ride a bike. Then he added swimming. Soon he lost some wait and was able to run a mile, then three, then six. Now he is one of the best ultra marathon runners there is.

Whether it is someone like Les Brown, David Goggins or Thomas Edison who went through countless experiments to invent the lightbulb, they all have one thing in common. What is that trait that allowed all of these men to end up a success when life would have had them believe they were destined to fail? The didn’t give up. The stayed focused on the goal. Failure is only permanent if we give up. If we don’t, failure serves as a teacher. It can tell us the way we are going about something isn’t working. That doesn’t mean the goal can’t be reached. All that it means is we have to adjust our plan. Often, even mistakes can be valuable. There is the rather well known story about how post-it notes were developed. The inventor was working on creating an adhesive that would last forever. He obviously failed in that endeavor, but look what it created!

Next time it feels as if you are failing at something in life, remember it might just be the plan that needs changing and not the goal. Look for the lessons in the failure and start again only more well-informed.